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Angie Mc
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| Posted: Feb 03 2006 at 2:26pm | IP Logged
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I'm posting this request because I'm hoping that others have thought through this so that I don't spend too much time on the subject. I'm no quite sure even what my question is. Hmmm...
What are the pros and cons of purity rings from your perspective?
Thanks!
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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ALmom
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We never really thought through it - just didn't do it. We know one family that does and it is a special tradition between dad and the daughters (they only have girls). It is actually quite popular around here in the evangelical homeschooling circles (which is the majority of homeschoolers in our area).
I guess we felt it a bit unnatural for us. We have talked about modesty in dress and behavior in age appropriate ways since they were itsy - also the commandments. We have felt those intimate areas of discussion were very private and it just seemed odd to us to wear something to proclaim to the world a decision to remain pure. It just felt opposite our whole approach - which is the beauty of the soul re-born in Baptism, the beauty of our masculinity and femininity and the beauty of marriage and the religious life. We avoid the discussions that seem so prevalent in our day and age. We don't do the typical "stranger talk", etc. I want my dc to see the beauty of how things are meant to be and take that into their very marrow before ever being exposed to the twisted abuses that are so prevalent. Obviously at some point we do have discussions with older dc. I guess the ring thing just seemed to make public what was private - and would be obvious by the characters of dc without making a public pronouncement. It is just very different from the approach we have taken. I really bristle now at public discussions along those lines - and we have taken a very private, mother-daughter, father-son type approach. I feel our society has gotten far too loose (and at times I find myself tainted by the prevalent idea that we should openly talk about everything as if that were the virtue instead of maintaining a certain privacy) in what we talk about, proclaim, discuss, etc. in the public arena that tends to break down modesty.
Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that this just didn't seem comfortable to us even though it seems to work as a very close father - daughter kind of thing in some families. I don't know if this really answers your question - as we didn't really approach the whole thing with a whole lot of reason - just a gut feeling type thing.
Janet
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lapazfarm
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Funny, I had the same reaction when I heard about them. It just seems immodest, somehow, to very publicly proclaim what should be a very private subject. But that is just me.
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Rachel May
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If you are looking for a reminder to the committment to be pure but not something as public as a ring, I had a friend who had a card in his wallet. It had a statement that he had signed. I think it fell out when he pulled out a credit card to pay for a meal and he let me see it when I asked what it was, but he certainly could have tucked it away again. It impressed me because when he showed it to me, he was very proud of it.
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folklaur
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We have a really large Latter-Day Saint/Mormon population here. A lot of the LDS girls get their "CTR rings" as a special present. It stands for "Choose the Right". When I saw the "purity rings" start showing up around here, I assumed it was a "Christian" response to the Mormon CTR rings. I didn't realize that they had purity rings all over now 
I don't really have an opinion on them, I guess. However, my teen dd doesn't have one, either, so I guess that *is* an opinion, in a sense, right? 
~Laura in AZ
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Victoria in AZ
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For years Kate has read the book _The Princess and the Kiss_ about purity and saving your first kiss for your husband.
The book seems to have inspired her. She asked for a ring as her visual reminder to save her kiss.
This is one bandwagon I am going to jump right on...if she wants such a beautiful, tangible reminder to stay pure, I'm getting it. It will be far, far more than I received in my childhood regarding modesty.
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Victoria in AZ
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Bridget
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I think they are a good idea if they help bolster a teen's commitment. It's a good reminder like a wedding ring or wearing a crucifix. I don't know if my boys will be willing to wear one but i like this one for boys and this one for girls
Dh just finished reading 'The Joyful Mysteries of Life' with our oldest. Now that he KNOWS, I'm really thinking about how to help them through these years.
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ALmom
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| Posted: Feb 05 2006 at 6:19pm | IP Logged
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Victoria,
I think you hit on the key - your dd asked for the ring as her own personal reminder. Our dd never brought it up (though she has shared some very beautiful and profound things with me as your dd has) and we chose not to draw her attention to it.
Janet
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: Feb 06 2006 at 8:14pm | IP Logged
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Victoria in AZ wrote:
For years Kate has read the book _The Princess and the Kiss_ about purity and saving your first kiss for your husband.
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A ring is also used in Arms of Love.
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: Feb 06 2006 at 9:20pm | IP Logged
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts. They have helped me to clarify my own feelings. I have had purity rings brought to my attention under different contexts. Some have been very adult directed which left me feeling uneasy. I'm also cautious about the LDS/Fundamentalist influence. Yet...I can see where a family could choose this path (or be called to this path.)
Interestingly, as my dd has grown older, she has self-chosen what she wears as faith reminders. She is currently wearing a brown scapular and a St. Therese medal that she purchased herself.
Thanks again, everyone! You spoil me with your clarity .
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: purity ring?
