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StephanieA
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| Posted: Dec 24 2009 at 8:54am | IP Logged
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I wasn't sure where to ask this....but my son has decided to take off a year before college and volunteer at the Community of St. Johns in IL. He will be living the prayer life of the brothers and doing various outreach activities for the poor, carpentary work for the sisters, housecleaning, cooking, etc. etc. He really is looking forward to the year.
But here's the rub. We have to come up with about $3,000 to send him as a donation. As a homeschooler I have avoided selling stuff and asking for donations. I grew up in Catholic schools where I was burnt doing this and was glad my kids didn't have to. We will already have to pay for much transportation costs. We don't live in IL, plus added car insurance because he can't be an occasional driver on my van, and a cell phone for him (which can't be used in the monastery, but is necessary when he is doing outreach in different locations).
We simply can't afford it with 9 kids and a major cut in pay for my husband. In fact, he is holding onto his job by a hairstring. (The company is just about ready to go under). But...this means a tremedous bit to Peter. He just got back from a stay at the monastery and wants to start wearing sandals around like the brothers. OK.... 
Any suggestions? We were told by the prior to go to our parish for donations, but our priest is hesitant because our 150 year old parish is undergoing major renovation efforts and it is a financially-problematic parish in the upper Bible belt. So...I am not sure where to turn. Has anyone had to do this sort of thing and if so, what do you suggest? How does one person set up a raffle, etc. Sounds weird and a bit fishy 
BLessings and Merry Christmas!
Stephanie
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SuzanneG
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| Posted: Dec 24 2009 at 9:45am | IP Logged
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What a GREAT opportunity!!!! I'm so excited for him!
StephanieA wrote:
| We have to come up with about $3,000 to send him as a donation. |
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Stephanie....I think you used the wrong pronoun in that sentence  . I think you meant to say "HE" instead of "WE", right?
Can you encourage him to get a job?? Or two? or maybe even three ? He should be able to earn that money in no time!!!!
This is his chance to be an adult and be creative...come up with ways to earn his way! He wants it? Then he needs to figure out how to "get it!" Otherwise, it doesn't happen....at least now...but I have a feeling if he wants it bad enough, then he'll figure it out.
I would NOT encourage a raffle/donations....but encourage good ol' hard work to get something that you really want. You have other responsibilities and financial concerns right now.
Sit down with him and explain that you can't pay it, but you'll certainly help him come up wiht a PLAN and timeline to earn the money. Key word: help. He needs to do this....but you can offer your guidance and opinion.
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Suzanne in ID
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Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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guitarnan
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One thing I've seen others do who are taking time to help others or consider vocations is to blog their experiences - that's an appropriate venue for him to ask for financial support from his readers. His buddies who blog can link there, too.
There are lots of part time jobs out there...none pay a lot but every bit helps.
Please tell him I am praying for him and hope his year is wonderful!
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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StephanieA
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| Posted: Dec 24 2009 at 10:16am | IP Logged
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He does have a job, paying minimum wage. He is not a spender but a saver and does help pay for his early college credit this semester since we can't swing all of it now. There went 1/2 of his $1500 that he saved from last summer/fall.
$3,000 to earn by mid-summer is a chunk, considering the kid is 17 and still in school full-time. In the summer, he will have 2 jobs, but some money needs to be put back for college when he returns the following year, at least to pay for books.
I really wasn't prepared to pay for him to "volunteer". I thought the whole concept would be for him to "earn" his way while he was there. But that isn't exactly how the community does it. We have looked into other opportunities to volunteer, but he is enthralled with the community and the brothers there.
I guess I was thinking incorrectly about donations then. That was just what was suggested to us. The Catholic schools around us ask for all kinds of money for a lot less important endeavors. Kids are given full money for trips to Europe, Youth Day, swimming meets, etc. etc. In some ways it seems a bit unfair ??? for him to earn all this money to volunteer a year, give up his job, his schooling, etc. to mow convent grounds, cleaning, praying, working with the poor, etc. This, I think, is his way of discerning his vocation. I don't how many young men pay their way through a trial year of seminary. In fact, Priests for Life just set up a scholarship to pay the college costs for young men who want to enter the seminary, but can't because they can't pay off their college loans.
But I do agree if he wants it bad enough, he will make it happen. But this isn't exactly a year of "fun" or a trip, etc. But I guess I might have been looking at it wrong.
Blessings,
Stephanie
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Dec 24 2009 at 10:39am | IP Logged
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No, it's not a wrong way to look at it - I think Suzanne is suggesting (and I agree) that he has to be the one to organize it all, with your support. (My son is 17 and taking early college classes, too, and mowing lawns to earn money, so I think I understand your position.)
Perhaps your pastor would be amenable to putting a bulletin notice (with URL for your son's blog or webpage about his endeavors?) about this effort into your weekly bulletin? This is what a young lady in our parish did so she could raise money to pay her college loans off - she had to be debt-free before she could enter the convent. (Interestingly, she was trying to raise about the same amount of money as your son needs.) There were no big announcements about it, but word spread very quickly and she got the financial help she needed - not from parish funds but from individuals. I hope your pastor will support this idea.
Another thing to do would be to have him tell everyone he knows about his plans - and mention that he's working to pull the money together to make it happen - Christmas is a great time to start.
I guess my perspective is that if my son wanted to do this I would be offering him the same advice - just as I am doing now with his Eagle Scout project. I'd be supporting and suggesting and helping and encouraging but I would not be running it without him.
I think it is wonderful that your son has such a kind and generous heart, and that you and your husband want to support and encourage this effort. I'll keep my eyes open for any ideas for raising funds for this very special year and pass them on to you, for sure!
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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JodieLyn
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yes, your son would be the one who should be figuring a lot of this out. I would also suggest going to and asking the Knights of Columbus for support. Asking groups for support is generally easier and they may already have funds for things like this.
And your Church doesn't have to support him as much as perhaps simply announce that he is doing this and trying to earn the funds needed and if anyone wishes to help to contact you.
And an idea for a job. If you'r in an area where people use real Christmas trees.. figure out what it would cost to take them to the dump and then go door to door (anywhere with a tree sitting outside for sure) and offer to remove the tree for $10 or so.
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G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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Bookswithtea
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We heard a young man once give a testimony to the parish at the end of mass about his desire to go on missions. His story was also published in the parish bulletin. Then he stood behind a table after each mass to answer questions and to accept donations.
My understanding is that it helped a lot.
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mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
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happymama
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He could live for free with Mother Teresa's sisters in DC. While I was doing this, there was a home schooling boy who finished highschool a semester early so that he could do this. The work is amazing... And the sisters insist on full-time volunteers taking one day off each week, so you can tour museums and so on.
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guitarnan
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I love the Knights of Columbus idea. Our local chapters are very generous.
The Holy Name Society (if you have a chapter) is also known for its charitable contributions.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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amarytbc
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A young man we know did something similar. He sent a letter to everyone he knew explaining his situation and why he wanted to spend the year in service. I don't know how much he was able to raise that way, but I know several of us sent a donation and I didn't find it inappropriate. I assumed he felt called to a life of prayer and service and didn't mind offering a little help. Can he find a second job? At one point my son was working two full time jobs. Guys are resiliant. If it's God's will, the money will be there. I'll pray for him.
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LisaR
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He'll be our neighbor!!! yay! my parents live right next door to the community, and we are right in Peoria.
I'm going to PM you with some ideas.
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
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many little saints in heaven!
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LisaR
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oh, and as a PS. my ds is 16 and has been working 10 hours a week for about 10 mo. bussing tables at a restaurant.
He has to pay for his own clothes, entertainment, and gas, and has still managed to save up over 2000.00 in savings.
maybe a restaurant job for a few months could help boost him over the edge?
We are oblates with this community, and they live so very simply. If one cannot come up with the suggested donation, I know that bringing in groceries, or helping out in some way, is so appreciated!
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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Willa
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amarytbc wrote:
| A young man we know did something similar. He sent a letter to everyone he knew explaining his situation and why he wanted to spend the year in service. I don't know how much he was able to raise that way, but I know several of us sent a donation and I didn't find it inappropriate. |
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Come to think of it, my brother did something similar when he went to be a short-term missionary in Japan. I think it's appropriate.
Sometimes a pastor of even a relatively poor church will allow a speaker to make a short presentation or announcement asking for donations. That's been done in our church.
Some sort of sponsored "walk" or group yard sale or bake sale or recycling drive can help too.
I can see why people have mentioned that it should be primarily the 17 year old's responsibility to raise the money but I do think donation drives can be appropriate for this kind of thing and knowing my 17 year olds, I imagine most of them probably need some logistical support in order to coordinate things successfully.
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Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
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JodieLyn
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My dh's suggestion for any one over 18 who needs to make a chunk of money is wildland firefighting. I don't know if your son would be 18 soon enough to do that this summer. But you can generally make that $3000 in one summer, especially if he doesn't have a set time to go to this community and can hang on for the full fire season (usually into September/October).
But it may be something to consider for the summer after his volunteer time there, so that he won't need to save money for college as much along with the donation needed.
And my dh says it's not just firefighting.. but there's marking crews through the Timber departments and support crews for the firefighters and various things that get hard during the summers so that they get decent overtime.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Awkward Financial/Donation Question
