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*Lindsey*
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Posted: Dec 07 2009 at 2:00pm | IP Logged Quote *Lindsey*

Elizabeth is 7.5 months old and is the clingiest/neediest baby we've had so far. Gabriel was pretty difficult, but not as tough as she is.

She will not let me put her down. If I sit her on the floor with toys and walk away, she screams. If the other kids try to play with her she still screams. If I sit her on the floor in the bathroom so I can use it, she screams. She's ok with DH sometimes. About half the time she will fuss/cry and keep looking for me and then dive out of his arms towards me. I have to do everything with her on my back. That's about the only way she will nap, too. Sometimes I am successful at nursing her to sleep on our bed and slowly sneaking away. It's about a 50/50 shot as to whether she will stay asleep or wake up after I move.

At night she sleeps right beside me and nurses 2-4 times during the night.

She hates the swing, hates being down on the floor for tummy-time, etc.

Now, I know I'm probably mostly being irrational, but it's kind of making me crazy. I can't help but think that she won't ever learn to crawl since she's never on the floor. Also, wearing her around all day is going to get more difficult as this pregnancy progresses.

Any thoughts? Tips? BTDT?

Thank you!

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teachingmyown
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Posted: Dec 07 2009 at 2:20pm | IP Logged Quote teachingmyown

Been there, done that, a few times. I don't have advice. I just wear them all day. But luckily my really clingy ones didn't get bumped from the baby spot until they were almost two.

I don't want to discourage you, though. She will get easier. Spend extra time on the floor with her until she starts crawling. I always find myself wanting to be on the floor in early pregnancy anyway! Hopefully, as the world gets more interesting to her, you won't be quite as necessary every moment.

Other than that, make sure you have a good carrier that can work with a swelling belly. I think wraps and mei tais are the best for that.

Good luck!

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CrunchyMom
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Posted: Dec 07 2009 at 2:21pm | IP Logged Quote CrunchyMom

BTDT. She will learn to crawl and walk, don't worry. Time on your back counts as "tummy time"--don't worry. I'm pretty sure she's fine and it is only your sanity that is at risk In Tibet, it is considered bad luck to let a baby's feet touch the ground before it is a year old! I know, though, it isn't easy have a high needs baby. Many hugs!

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JodieLyn
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Posted: Dec 07 2009 at 2:29pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

a couple of tricks for leaving baby asleep.. leave a shirt from yesterday or robe you use often but more time between washings.. laying next to her (your smell) a heating pad or a rice bag that's heated up.. can replace you if she misses the warmth (or just tucking a blankie around her so she doesn't cool off too much) a firm pillow (so no face sinking into it.. more like a decorative pillow I guess) laid down in your space so that there's still something there.

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lapazfarm
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Posted: Dec 07 2009 at 3:25pm | IP Logged Quote lapazfarm

JodieLyn wrote:
a couple of tricks for leaving baby asleep.. leave a shirt from yesterday or robe you use often but more time between washings.. laying next to her (your smell) a heating pad or a rice bag that's heated up.. can replace you if she misses the warmth (or just tucking a blankie around her so she doesn't cool off too much) a firm pillow (so no face sinking into it.. more like a decorative pillow I guess) laid down in your space so that there's still something there.

This is what I used to do. I had a soft, thick, terry-velour bathrobe that I would slip off and wrap around him as I laid him down and the smell, warmth, and swaddling used to comfort him greatly. He did look funny all bundled up in a big hot-pink bathrobe, but I didn't care as long as I could buy a few minutes for a shower!LOL!
Oh, and he did grow out of it eventually, btw. And he is a really "super" boy.

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kbfsc
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Posted: Dec 07 2009 at 4:26pm | IP Logged Quote kbfsc

I've got a higher-needs babe right now, too. She won't sleep off me unless she's in her car seat on top of the running washer or dryer. A friend suggested it after having her own high-needs baby. It's a Godsend!

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happymama
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Posted: Dec 07 2009 at 9:07pm | IP Logged Quote happymama

wowzers, Kiera - I have things shake off of my dryer when it's running... Do you have to tie the carseat down?!
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kbfsc
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Posted: Dec 08 2009 at 2:26pm | IP Logged Quote kbfsc

It would shake my teeth out of my head... but the baby loves it, and if the baby sleeps happily, mama is good.

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Veronika
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Posted: Dec 09 2009 at 5:45pm | IP Logged Quote Veronika

My oldest girl was very "high-maintenance" too! She didn't roll over till she was about seven months old and didn't crawl till she was even older than that! Since she was our first, I didn't even notice that that was odd    I held her constantly and didn't get much sleep either till she was about a year old or so. She's still the kind of child who announces her every move to me all day and seeks approval, but makes solid and wise decisions. She's 15 now and an amazing help to me, very well adjusted and intelligent....no damage done. . So don't worry, it'll all turn out ok as this too shall pass. It's been seven years since I had our youngest (twins) and I'd give anything for another...even a clingy one! I'll be praying for you!

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Maggie
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Posted: Dec 09 2009 at 7:39pm | IP Logged Quote Maggie

My first was like this...I wore her all the time in the sling...she slept on me...couldn't nap without me nursing her the whole time, etc etc etc.

I think it's a personality thing because my second was soooo not like that, and I parented the same.

However, given that she will not let you put her down, I would invest in a really good baby carrier.

I am a baby-sling-a-holic. Ok. I own 8 or 9.   

For little babies, I love the Maya Sling.

When babies get heavier and less manageable, we swear by the ERGO

This distribute weight much better than the Baby Bjorn Active, which we also own.   

For the time being, I would just look at it as a need that she has...and as long as you are able, you can try wearing her...and hope that the clingy-ness goes away as time passes. BTW--my pediatrician says 6-9 mos are the worst for separation anxiety--so it is totally normal.

Some day...you just might miss her being clingy. It's hard to imagine in the moment, though...

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