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momtokea
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(I'm not sure if this is in the right part of the forum. Please move if needed.)
For the past two years 7yods has played indoor soccer. It's been fine and he likes it. All of my kids are involved in varous different sports, but only ds has done soccer, a team sport. They do swimming, gymnastics and we want to do karate this year. I want to drop soccer because we're just too busy, but I've been told that all kids should do a "team sport".
Why? I just don't see the point. What is the benefit in the end? I can see the point of swimming, it's a life skill and they could become swimming instructors or lifeguards if they want ... a nice part-time job for a young person. I can see the point of karate, discipline and self-defense. I don't see a lot of point in doing gymnastics, but my eldest dd loves it and has decided she wants to finish all levels and be a coach some day ... so I see that as worthwhile.
I'm not against team sports, and I see lots of value in any physical activity, but I just don't see the point in the end. I understand the value of "working as team", but we can accomplish that by learning to get along with each other as a family.
Any thoughts? Why SHOULD I put my kids in team sports over other kinds of sports? Am I harming my son if I tell him he can't take soccer this year?
Maria
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JodieLyn
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As you said there's benefit in the physical activity..
but I think I'd find more detriment not so much in him not playing soccer but in one child being allowed to choose an activity to carry through childhood and then another not being able to do so.. partly because the first child is making things "too busy".
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stacykay
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Team sports have been a part of our lives for many years. Football, basketball, baseball, and lacrosse have all played a big part of our boys' lives.
They have learned the teamwork thing and getting along with others who may not think the same as them. They have enjoyed the physical aspects of working out and keeping their bodies healthy. They have enjoyed the "thrill of victory and the agony of defeat."  Actually, I can't recall them really being in "agony," I just loved that part of "ABC's Wide World of Sports" every Saturday afternoon. 
It has given them a better purpose than playing computer/video games or watching tv.
And it has given them the camaradarie of other "men."
We have a priest who gave a talk to our homeschool group a long while back, and he spoke at length about the importance of giving boys the opportunity to be heros, which sports allow, and forming bonds with other boys (my synopsis of that portion of his talk is very poor-I apologize for that!)
Now, has it been crazy? Absolutely, without a doubt! Have my boys had fun? Ditto.
I really had to adjust my own attitude to accept the evening crush of drop-offs and pick-ups. I still have a bit of a problem with the hairiness of it all, but I can see how much my boys have grown.
With the arrival of this fall, we will have one playing college football (D3 school,) one playing in high school and 3 in swimming lessons, which will make for busier than normal weekends.
Personally, I would love it if the boys had all taken to swimming, as I associate that with fewer injuries! I guess a lot of our sports decisions were based on our boys being passionate about them. Three dss' love/loved football, but one doesn't, so he won't play and the youngest two are too young! Our second ds LOVED basketball and played all the way from 5yo at the Y through high school.
I don't know if any of my ramblings here have helped at all, or not!
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
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CandaceC
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You might appreciate this post from Elizabeth. Also, on her blog if you click on all the "sports" entries you will gain a lot of insight into why her family is very involved in sports. A lot of her reasons would be the same for my husband...so I'll just leave you with her link. :)
Elizabeth's blog post - Why do we do this?
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Angie Mc
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Hi, Maria  .
momtokea wrote:
but I've been told that all kids should do a "team sport".
Why? I just don't see the point.
Why SHOULD I put my kids in team sports over other kinds of sports? Am I harming my son if I tell him he can't take soccer this year?
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We have very few "shoulds" or "alls" in this family and all of them have to do with loving God and loving our neighbor  . We look at each child and our family situation as a whole then discern how to proceed.
I have two baseball players and one martial artist - plus all cross train. Team sports definitely have advantages that are real - especially for boys. Boys Adrift and anything by Cal Ripken are books that make great arguments for why to do team sports.
As the mom of athletes, I've been on the receiving end of honest "team sports are over-rated" concerns - always from women and/or non-athletes. I think the key as a woman or a non-athlete (I'm both ) is to avoid weighing in to heavily with my "I just don't get it" perspective when it comes to the decision-making process. Sometimes our sons/dhs/athletes have the best take on these types of decisions - to join a team or not. I just tend to be honest about scheduling concerns then I do my very best to say "yes" to what is important to them which is - for now - a pretty big commitment to team sports.
Praying you all find a great fit for your family!
Love,
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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Barbara C.
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I understand that success in things like swimming and gymnastics are more dependent on the individual, however swimming and gymnastics are team sports, too. Don't most swimmers and gymnasts train and compete as a team? I know that the gymnastics team in our parks district is required to practice two to three times a week, the same amount as my daughter's tee-ball team.
Unless your kids don't really compete, they just take classes for their own exercise and enjoyment. Some could argue that if they aren't competing then they aren't really participating in a "sport" but an "activity". What it boils down to is if you see any value in competition?
Now are team sports necessarily superior to other sports? I'm not really sure. In a society where most families average one or two children, team sports could be really could for a child who wouldn't be in as many situations where team work is necessary or the needs of the team outweigh the wants of the individual player. For a child in a bigger family, these lessons may not be as necessary. Then again, it may help a child look beyond their own family a bit.
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Barbara C.
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I've been reading Michael Gurian's The Wonder of Boys, and it made me think a lot about this topic. He makes a big case that boys need a "group" of boys to socialize with as part of their development. He also talks a lot about sports channeling natural male aggression and competitiveness and the need for male mentors outside the family, like possibly a coach.
Overall he makes a case for "team" activities for boys, with sports having the added dimension of involving lots of physical activity and much needed "space".
I really recommend this book. Just thought I would pass it along.
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Barbara
Mom to "spirited" dd(9), "spunky" dd (6), "sincere" dd (3), "sweet" dd (2), and baby girl #5 born 8/1/12!!
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Becky Le
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My son plays soccer. We're going on 5 years this fall. What's interesting is he is not competitive by nature at all. In fact he doesn't like to compete but he loves the sport and he loves the bonding nature of the team. I love that it encourages him to work with others to achieve something and nurtures a little competitiveness in him.
My oldest daughter isn't into sports so no team sports for her. My middle daughter will start her 2nd season of soccer this year so it's too early much to tell what her experiences will be.
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anitamarie
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Dh played organized team sports (soccer and basketball) from the age of 4 until the end of High School, and has coached youth leagues on and off since then. His take- leadership skills (big in his mind), character building through overcoming disappointment and embarassment, prudence/judgment (you don't call the goalie stupid when the ball gets past him).
Also, we tend to let our children pick their activities. We decided that it is our job, if they love something and/or are good at it, to make it happen for them, within reason. This may entail sacrifice on our part. This came up big for us earlier in the year with Scouts. Boy Scouts is a lot of time and a lot work, and we have to help our son get to meetings, meet with Merit Badge Counselors, etc. It can be darn inconvenient. But it is his "thing" and so good for him, so we make it happen. That was a big "aha" moment for us both. Up until now, our kids activities have been fairly manageable. We had to decide to give up a little for his benefit.
Long and short of it, if he loves it, I would let him do it.
God Bless,
Anita
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LisaR
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we're pretty big on team sports. I grew up doing individual sports (dancing, swimming) and as a young adult/adult I wished that I had the experience of working together more as a team, for a variety of reasons.
Our boys do wrestle in the winter, but otherwise play baseball, soccer, football, rugby.
I never can get my computer to allow the link feature, but a great movie- true story about team sports and boys is:
Forever Strong
you can find it on netflix or amazon
it is a very clean film, no swearing, and only a peck on the cheek for physical stuff.
there is a drinking scene, but to only illustrate an integrity point.
I will say earlier in our homeschooling career, I allowed myself to feel quite sensitive over (well meaning, I'm sure) concern from fellow homeschoolers who felt we placed too much emphasis on sports for our sons.
The trend was to do suzuki violin or piano (nothing wrong with this!) or play-acting.
I never could adequately convey why we felt so strongly that team sports were a PART of our kids education, not a detraction/distraction.
Oh, and Scouts is terrific, too!
Oldest just made Eagle Rank, Paul is right behind...
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dh Tim '92
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Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
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LisaR
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| Posted: Aug 22 2009 at 11:55am | IP Logged
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momtokea wrote:
I understand the value of "working as team", but we can accomplish that by learning to get along with each other as a family.
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I've observed this is quite different than learning to work together within the family.
The coping and communication skills and flexibility my fairly non-verbal sons have developed on the field have really enabled them to be much more confident when encountering all sorts of social issues outside of the home.
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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Bookswithtea
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I just wanted to add that boy scouts can be a great alternative for boys. There is a strong male bonding aspect, lots of very boyish activities, many skills that are useful for a man (and being an Eagle Scout can even bless one's future career) and it can be a perfect fit for the kid who loves to be active but just isn't into team sports. There are boys who would much rather hunt, fish, camp and canoe than play on a team. I also think its a little bit less taxing on a family's overall schedule than sports can be.
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mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
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JodieLyn
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Theatre provides a great deal of the same things as team sports.. co-ed of course.
I wouldn't have thought so.. but my theatre experience is what helps me most with the sports.. the whole positive coaching information (there's a positive coaching alliance) is very much what I learned in theatre.. how to help someone get better without beating them down etc.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Do you do team sports? Why?
