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jenny ann
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| Posted: July 21 2009 at 11:18pm | IP Logged
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Dear Ladies-
I don't know if this is the right place to post this but I was wondering if any of you work part-time outside of the home. I am a nurse and have had some opportunities to work in a nursing home up the road part-time (filling in for vacations etc-no more than 8-16 hours per week-most weeks less). The only problem is that when I have worked in the past I usually end up working more hours than I want and I feel spread so thin. I have asked my husband for his opinion and his answer is a wishy-washy 'whatever makes you happy'. I do not feel a need to work outside the home but I feel guilty about not taking these opportunities when they come up. What if my husband loses his job, what about keeping my skills up, etc. I have prayed about this but have not felt called to one way or the other. It is a great job with great people but what about everything else? We have 3 kids 10, 8 and 5 mos. The baby takes a bottle (I pump) well and my mother is the one doing the babysitting. Any suggestions or testimonies would help! Jenny Ann
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KauaiCatholic
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| Posted: July 22 2009 at 12:15am | IP Logged
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blessings on your discernment! those can be such tough decisions, especially if nothing is nudging you strongly one way or the other.
it's a balancing act, but it's certainly do-able. I work 2 shifts a week (afternoon into the later evening), averaging 17-20 hours a week. we've done that ever since our 4yo was a few months old.
my biggest challenge is keeping my priorities in order. I need to be careful about not over-extending, or feeling guilty about housework slipping in order to get school done. (and sometimes I need a nap in between shifts or I get seriously crabby  but the kids take it all in stride.) the hardest part is keeping on top of everything and feeling like I never have a day in which to completely relax, but don't most moms feel like that? 
anyway, the money is a huge help, living in as expensive an area as we do. and we don't have to have a babysitter, since I work around my DH's schedule (as well as at the same place, which helps a LOT.) another plus is my DH gets time alone with the kids ... which is educational as well as enjoyable for everyone involved. 
and, to be brutally honest, I have to admit that the adult contact is nice. people laugh when I say it, but sometimes I feel like I go to work to relax.  I obviously love my DC more than life itself, and would do anything for them. but twice a week, I revisit a world where I can be quietly productive at a computer and people aren't throwing temper tantrums because someone looked at them wrong. (well, every once in a while. but at least I don't have to break up THOSE fights. ) it's also comforting to keep my professional skills in shape and resume current; who knows if I'll ever need those again but it's a comfort to have 'em.
all that being said, I do wonder how I'll feel about spreading my time around when there's a third one in the mix ...
I don't know if any of this helps at all or is just more confusing, but you'll be in my prayers!!!
__________________
 Viviane
Grateful mama of Jonah Augustine ('01), Sophia Marie ('05) and Luke Dominic ('10)
We can do no great things; only small things with great love. -- Blessed Teresa of Calcutta
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Sarah M
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| Posted: July 22 2009 at 12:04pm | IP Logged
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Hi Jenny Ann! I work part-time at the library as an on-call substitute. I don't have regular hours, and can say yes or no as often as I'd like to. I generally work about 15-18 hours/week, although the library budget was recently cut, and so right now I'm hardly working at all. I only work when dh is home (evenings, weekends), so I don't have any babysitting/daycare/nanny advice for you. We've been really blessed to be able to work around one another's schedules. I started working part-time when my littlest turned 1.
The Positives:
~that adult-world connection that you mentioned
~the added income
~no fines at the library (staff fines are waived!)
~change of scenery
The Negatives:
~I often feel that work is distracting me when it comes to keeping up on housework/schoolwork. I feel like I multi-task more often, and I don't like that.
~I miss a family dinner or two each week.
~I'm more tired when I'm working. I usually get home around 9:30/10:00 after an evening shift, and so it's often midnight before I'm settled in to sleep. This makes for an early start in the morning, and I'm definately more tired during the weeks when I'm working a lot.
I will pray for you as you discern. My hours are being cut at work due to budget constraints, and I'm finding that working 8 or less hours/week is a much better fit for our family. Not everyone has this option, though, of course. I don't like working more than 15 or so hours each week because I feel very distracted and torn too many directions. This will be something you'll have to assess for yourself, of course, and I'll pray for you as you do that!
We are probably going to move soon, and I don't anticipate looking for work for a while when we do. So maybe that shows that I'm feeling kind of distracted/split due to my work. I really think it all changes depending on the season of your family's life, though. And that will certainly be revealed to you through prayer. Hugs to you, Jenny Ann.
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Milehimama
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| Posted: July 22 2009 at 2:23pm | IP Logged
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I worked full time and homeschooled kindergarten (my husband and I traded shifts - I worked until 3-4 and he worked 5-1am.) Right now I work from home about 8 hours a week, but I'm fortunate that I can do it an hour here or there.
When we traded shifts, I pretty much laid everything out (worksheets, etc.) and saved the more intense instruction stuff for when I was there. Then again, it was just 2 boys in kindergarten, learning to read, learning numbers. Husband helped with the homeschooling even though I did all the planning. It was also great because my boss let me use the copy machine for free!
It is possible and doable, but realize that you CAN'T do it all. Some things are just going to slide. So, if you can accept that the kids might have to fold their own socks out of the laundry basket (or dryer!) before getting dressed, or that you aren't going to be able to do the science fair and art club and chess club and lead the Little Flowers club in addition to mothering, teaching, wifing, and working, it can be done.
It is probably a good idea to keep up skills and have an alternate income if you can do it, with unemployment at 10% and rising. However, you said you always end up working more hours than you want... you have got to set limits and stick to them! Decide how much you can work in a week (or month) and be very, very firm. Just tell them you can't take that shift, you have a commitment.
And I totally get the going to work to relax!
Would your mother be willing to help with the schooling part of it, overseeing "homework" as it were? Would she be willing to make the kids do their reading while they were in her care, or make sure they finished their worksheets, or maybe even take over a subject to teach 1-2x a week? Take all the help you can.
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Milehimama in Houston
Mother of 11 - 8 Church Militant and 3 Church Triumphant
Mama Says
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SeaStar
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| Posted: July 22 2009 at 9:04pm | IP Logged
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I always feel a tug to go back to work (vet med) since
1) I miss it
and
2) I worry about keeping my skills up, as several people have mentioned.
I constantly debate the pros and cons...
My discernment list goes like this:
1. Do we need the extra income? (as in NEED, or it would just be nice to have extra money?)
2. Would I have to leave my kids with a babysitter/daycare in order to work?
3. Working would be a "break" of sorts for me... using my brain for something other than figuring out how to rescue a matchbox car from the air vent would be a treat. But would it be a stress for my family?
A stress for the family would include:
1) Mom is grouchier (than normal  ) because she has even less time to get her chores and other things around the house done
2) The kids are uneasy/unsettled with changes in routine because mom is gone (and grumpier than normal when she's home- see above).
3) *Dh* is stressed- sure, he can manage the household for a few hours on the weekends if I'm out running errands, etc... but if I'm gone for a 12 hour shift, or if he has to work all day and then come home and do dinner and bath/bed time on his own... is he really OK with this, or am I adding a burden to his life by trying to get my own "me" time in?
4). How much "time" is really involved with working a few hours a week?
We all know in the medical world that a 12 hour shift is really just a "suggested" framework... how often can you walk away right at the end of your shift? I think in ten years of working I finished up on time maybe once or twice. Working 1-2 hours past shift end was pretty normal for me.
We all have our own answers to these questions. But with homeschooling, keeping up the housework and wanting to spend time as a family with dh on the weekends, I don't see how squeezing in work right now would make my life easier or better.
When I ask God if I should go back to work, it's almost as if I can feel Jesus with his hands on my shoulders saying, "Wait. Not yet, not yet."
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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Leonie
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| Posted: July 22 2009 at 9:57pm | IP Logged
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I have always worked part time or run a business while homeschooling our seven. Why? For financial reasons, for my personal career and development and because I believe I am setting a good example for my sons of time management and work ethic and using my talents in the home and via volunteer and paid work. Not that others have to choose the same route to set a good example!
Has it been worth it? Yes. Are we often busy? Again yes. But busy doesn't have to be bad.
Do I have to be fairly energetic and organised and yet, flexible and think outside the box wrt care of little ones ( when I had little ones ), child care, housework, meals, homeschool stuff? Yes. But I see that all as a plus.
And so has my dh, so I tend to think that this has been right for us.
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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violingirl
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| Posted: July 23 2009 at 8:03am | IP Logged
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My kids are not school age yet (DS1 will be considered a Kindergartener in 2010) so we're not homeschooling while I work yet, but we will be next year.
I own a music studio so I'm with students 30 hours a week and I have about 10 hours of admin work each week- lesson planning, record keeping, billing, etc. that I can do after my boys are in bed or before they are up. My mother retired from teaching over a year ago and she keeps my boys while I teach (1-7:30 Mon.-Thurs. and 1-5 on Fri.). My mornings are free for us to learn and we have plans in place so that I'll be down to 2 or 3 days a week by the time my oldest needs more school time.
Also, my income is paying for my husband to finish school right now- he has one year left til his BA, then 2-3 years in the masters program. We live on his income, but mine takes care of the "extra" so that we are paying for his continued schooling without going into debt and some is also going into savings for infertility treatment so that we can try to have another baby. That's an expense that is important to us since we'd like to have a large family despite my fertility issues.
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Erin
DS (2005) DS (2007) DD (2012)
Mama In Progress
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Nedra in So. CA
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n/a
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mellyrose
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| Posted: July 23 2009 at 5:41pm | IP Logged
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I work part-time as a software and business skills instructor. Most weeks I work 2-3 days, but some weeks I take up to 4 days and other weeks I don't teach at all.
I also work as a freelance writer, but that doesn't take me out of the house.
I love to teach, and get a lot of personal satisfaction from being in front of a classroom. My biggest struggles are child care and housecleaning.
Another homeschooling family watches my children when I work, and I try to have a backup. Unfortunately, the other homeschooling family I was using as a backup is NOT going to work for my family and I'm currently struggling as my 1st choice's schedule is filling up and she is available fewer days.
Child care really is my biggest and most difficult issue. At this point in our lives, we truly NEED my income. I've been mostly SAH since Colin was born, but without my income this last year we would have lost our home.
My years staying home were fulfilling, but I admit that I really like working outside of the home again. In a way I was pushed into it (for financial reasons) but I truly enjoy what I do.
Good Luck with your decision
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Melanie in AZ
Colin (11/00), Nate (05/02), Lydia (04/07)
My Little Patch of Sunshine
Pictures of our Life
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jenny ann
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| Posted: July 25 2009 at 11:26am | IP Logged
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Thanks you all for your valuable input. I don't necessarily feel the need for adult interaction but the $$$ and keeping my skills up are a big plus. I also enjoy the feeling of 'serving' people other than my family-its very gratifying. It is very encouraging to see that other homeschooling moms do make it work. I was feeling a little overwhelmed because the orientation hours were more than what I wanted but I was assured that the hours would drop way down after orientation is over. God bless you all in A-L-L you do!
Jenny Ann
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Mary G
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| Posted: July 25 2009 at 1:39pm | IP Logged
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Leonie wrote:
I have always worked part time or run a business while homeschooling our seven. Why? For financial reasons, for my personal career and development and because I believe I am setting a good example for my sons of time management and work ethic and using my talents in the home and via volunteer and paid work. Not that others have to choose the same route to set a good example!
Has it been worth it? Yes. Are we often busy? Again yes. But busy doesn't have to be bad.
Do I have to be fairly energetic and organised and yet, flexible and think outside the box wrt care of little ones ( when I had little ones ), child care, housework, meals, homeschool stuff? Yes. But I see that all as a plus.
And so has my dh, so I tend to think that this has been right for us. |
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Well said! I don't work part-time but these are excellent reasons that I need to remember. I especially like the "example for the kids" ... I never thought of it that way!
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MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
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Leonie
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| Posted: July 25 2009 at 4:12pm | IP Logged
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By the way there is an email list for mums who work and homeschool ~ Work and Homeschool
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: working part-time and homeschooling
