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SeaStar
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| Posted: July 03 2009 at 4:50pm | IP Logged
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Please help me with my slow eater... Ds is 6.5, and he can sit at the table for half an hour and eat a quarter of his sandwich. Even if it's something he really likes, he is soooo slowwwww.
After about thirty minutes, I am ready to move on to kitchen clean up, and everyone else is done, so he sits there alone.
I have tried setting a timer for him- that just makes him cry and also doesn't feel right to me. Meals are to be enjoyed, but both dh and I get frustrated with this, especially if we are planning to go somewhere after the meal.
Any suggestions?
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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mellyrose
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| Posted: July 03 2009 at 4:57pm | IP Logged
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Is he slowly chewing? Taking a long time between bites? Chattering too much to eat? I guess I'm wondering what makes him take so long.
My oldest is a slow eater, but it's because he's ridiculously picky and will eat things like one pea at a time and drag out the meal. I encourage him to take normal "bites" - like a forkful of peas vs. a single pea, and that helps speed him up.
My 7yo can be a chatterbug, so we try to keep the first half of the meal for mom/dad talk and allow him to contribute to the conversation after he's eaten a good portion of his meal.
Does it bother him for you to clean up around him? Maybe you could clear/clean and then sit back with him as he finishes and then help him take care of his own dishes?
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Melanie in AZ
Colin (11/00), Nate (05/02), Lydia (04/07)
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Maddie
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| Posted: July 03 2009 at 7:21pm | IP Logged
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My 14 yo is a slow eater because he's always talking... When he was a little guy I would offer to let him stand to eat if he wanted to. I didn't make it a command so he wouldn't feel as if he was being punished, but when he stood, he ate faster. (and did his school work faster) I guess it gave him something else to do beside think of his food?
There are somedays I just can't wait for him and then I do use the timer. I'll tell him at the beginning of the meal how much time he has (and I am always generous) and if he's not done, that's fine, I'll put what ever is leftover in the fridge for later. I act very casual about it and he usually rises to the occasion, especially if everyone else is playing outside and he wants to join them.
As my grandparents used to say, he'll eat if he's hungry. If he misses enough meals, he'll get the picture. 
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SeaStar
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| Posted: July 03 2009 at 8:25pm | IP Logged
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I frequently read to the kids while they eat, which they love, but he will stop eating completely to hear the story. (my dd is on a special diet, and the reading takes the attention away from her food being so different from her brothers).
If I don't read, he'll ask to look at a book while he eats.
And if there is no book in sight, he is still slow...
and he's not talking that much. Sometimes he's watching the birds at our window feeder.
But that is true- if he is hungry he will eat. I think sitting with him for thirty minutes is plenty, but I do feel guilty about leaving him sitting there alone most nights.
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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DominaCaeli
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| Posted: July 03 2009 at 10:18pm | IP Logged
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My just-turned-3yo is like this about everything. He will suck on his straw for twenty minutes and only end up drinking (not kidding) an ounce. And if I try to take it away, he says he is thirsty! He is very easily distracted and has to be reminded over and over to eat. He is super slow with food, and meals would last literally hours if I let them. I'm not sure how to handle this since he's still so young. And if I try to stop the meal early, he says, "I'm still hungry, Mommy." Maybe I can incorporate some of the suggestions already given but adapt them to his age...
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KackyK
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| Posted: July 03 2009 at 10:40pm | IP Logged
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Personally, I think you are stuck. My brother is so.very.slow at eating. It's painful. We use to sneak food off of his plate when he was younger so he'd "finish" sooner! As an adult, when he is in a relaxed atmosphere (he is a doctor so when he is in that mode, he's fast) at home, he is still very slow. We laugh and talk to him about it, he said he can't help it. He's a big chewer and then sort of moves food around before he scoops it up. Rubs his fingers on his napkin probably more than he has too.
He is a perfectionist in ALL areas of his life, slightly almost OCD with some things. I don't know if that has something to do with it. The whole need to be "deliberate" with his actions, kwim?
Sorry, no advice
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KackyK
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Red Cardigan
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| Posted: July 04 2009 at 1:13am | IP Logged
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Have you ever read the old "Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle" books?
An example here.
I mention it because these cute story books have Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle ingeniously solving problems to help children and their parents deal with issues concerning manners, punctuality, temper, etc. One story in one book was called something like "The small-bite/slow-eater cure" (I don't have the book in front of me right now so don't remember exactly). I read that one myself, because it was a problem we were having too with one child in particular.
The "cure" used in the book was that Mrs. P-W would serve the child tiny portions of food on little plates; the child would then finish and ask for more, and eventually was able to finish a normal portion in a reasonable amount of time.
Silly as it sounds, I tried it with our slow eater.  It worked! By giving her smaller portions to start with and encouraging her to have more if she was still hungry, I think I took the "pressure" of needing to finish "on time" away (along with the pressure of feeling like she had to finish a plateful of food whether it was really too much for her or not--the weird thing is that I never encouraged a "you must clean your plate" attitude, but she didn't like to leave food on her plate, and would beg me to "save it for later" for her if she couldn't finish).
Now, when I started giving her smaller portions I wasn't making it too obvious--one thing I did would be to put sandwiches on a serving plate, already cut in half, and encourage everyone to take one or two halves depending on what they wanted to "start with." She'd always elect to start with the smaller portion--but pretty soon she was coming back for just a little more, and finishing it about the same time everyone else did!
For other things I would just make sure she was involved in the dishing up and could tell me when the serving looked good to her. Sometimes she would double-check with me ("If I finish can I come back for more?" etc.) but she was very happy to be served a little less to start with.
Today she's not a slow eater at all.  Her older sister is our current slowest, but as she's going through a growth spurt and is eating rather large portions these days I'm sure that's why!
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KackyK
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| Posted: July 04 2009 at 9:32am | IP Logged
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Hey that's a great idea! I'll tell my sisterinlaw to start serving my brother with her dd's child size plates
That makes sense! Thanks Red!
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KackyK
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MaryM
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| Posted: July 04 2009 at 11:20am | IP Logged
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Oh, yes, Mrs. Piggle Wiggle to the rescue..... - very clever.
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jenk
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| Posted: July 04 2009 at 12:28pm | IP Logged
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Mrs. Piggle Wiggle was the first thing that came to mind for me too
We love her!!
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Jen
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Topic: Slow eaters...
