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lovebeingamom
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| Posted: June 30 2009 at 9:52am | IP Logged
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Ladies, how do you do it? I am trying to find a balance between everything I do and what still needs to be done.
How do you find time (during the waking hours of the day) to exercise, clean, nurse a baby (9.5 mo), keep things exciting for a 2.5 yo, make breakfasts, lunches, dinners, snacks, etc., go for walks ... the list just keeps on going.
I would love to hear how you all do it - any suggestions, advice, ideas would be so welcomed!!! TIA!
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: June 30 2009 at 11:27am | IP Logged
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I am going to try...limits?
I have been thinking about this a lot. I could go all day and still never get everything done. I tried priorities and that didn't work because it seems everything is a priority--perfectionist tendencies coming out here 
So, while I am still thinking this through, FWIW, here is how I see it so far.
There are only so many hours in a day. So, without a schedule-because interruptions just drive me crazy when I have one--I am going to assign some tasks a certain amount of time--and that is it!! Meals will be at about the same times each day. Bedtime, too. Sometime in the morning I will spend 30 minutes cleaning the house. School will be a 3-4 hour block of time--allowing for a few breaks and (grrr) interruptions. Outside/playtime will be at least one hour a day. Reading time 30 minutes.
I am still sorting this all out and going to see how it works for my family. But, I feel I have covered all the main things in my life, meals, sleep, school, play, some house cleaning. I am trying to figure out a business hour once a week where I can pay bills and work on household finance stuff. In the past I threw in a video for the kids(their only one all week)and was able to work in peace. Exercise I am hoping to do before the kids get up. I only need 30 minutes to do some key exercises to keep me limber and somewhat pain free.
It is a busy day, but I wouldn't trade this job for any other....
I am looking forward to the other responses as I sort this out myself.
Also, remember your kids are still young. I remember my days being "on the fly" when nursing and caring for young ones. You are up with teethers or sick kids and nothing really falls into place. Then, one day it does, and you think it is so cool and plan your next 3 weeks because everything is going so well. Then something happens and you are in a new rhythm. Flex, flex, flex was my mantra then
Anne
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Maddie
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| Posted: June 30 2009 at 3:51pm | IP Logged
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Don't shower, don't go to the bathroom and don't eat...just kidding.
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~Maddie~
Wife to my dh and Momma of 9 dear ones
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asplendidtime
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| Posted: June 30 2009 at 3:59pm | IP Logged
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Have you read Seasons of a Mother's Heart written by Sally Clarkson?
I just discovered this book this past winter when I. was. weary.  It helped me to accept that you can't do everything all of the time, some seasons are being tired, some are full of energy and enthusiasm. So I try to accept if a certain season means less walks then that's okay.
Routines-teach the children the habit of routines, morning, after meals, etc... So they know what is expected of them, and it is easier for you to follow up and make sure things are done well. In those seasons maybe walks can be done on the weekend when dh can help, maybe walks can be substituted with going fishing with dh or going camping.
Look at toddler's time as it being necessary to break up their time, otherwise I find they get naughty out of sheer boredom. Lots of time with Mom helping her do her chores, hand them the laundry from washer to dryer (clapping hands when you are finished is really important), let them get up high to watch you "making" when you are in the kitchen, give them some safe tools to make with. Fill the sink with clean water to let them splash and putter around. Do your toddlers enjoy playing in laundry baskets and helping you fold laundry? Then if you need a few minutes, have an older one keep baby busy having fun with a set of blocks etc.... If you have several older guys they can take turns.
For dinners, I bulk cook, so that frees me up for my time a bit, I get family packs and bulk quantities and we cook them up in one shot, so I can freeze meal sized packets to make getting supper easier. I do beans, chicken, ground beef, luncheon meats this way.
I do not schedule babies, their needs are high priority, but everyone doesn't mind especially if you include their care as a fun activity for others to watch, or help with.
I have to confess I rarely do snacks, only if we have a movie night or freezies on a hot day, or sometimes popcorn or carrot sticks if supper will be later. I feel like we spend enough time in the kitchen. But could you cut up a few extra veggies when you make lunch or supper for snacktime? So we do cold water cups in between meals as suggested in Better Late than Earlyby Raymond and Dorothy Moore.
For exercise for the dc we have a trampoline and swings, that really helps a lot, in winter we play the Wii, as it gets too cold here for long periods where we can't get out.
You aren't alone. ((((hugs))))
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Rebecca~Mama to
Noah 17,
Katie 16,
Mary 14,
Tim 13,
Jonah 12,
Josh 10,
Zoe 9,
Will 7,
Peter 6,
Laura-Mae 4,
Emily-Joy 2,
Genevieve & Gabriella 1
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DominaCaeli
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| Posted: June 30 2009 at 5:30pm | IP Logged
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Not sure how many littles you're dealing with--I have three (just-turned-3yo son, 2yo daughter, and a 5mo baby) and we're not schooling yet...so your day may be much more chaotic than mine. But organization and routine are really key for me.
I do a lot of bulk cooking, so that frees up dinnertime for me--a really big help. I like to have dinner ready when my hubby walks in the door, and there's no way I could do that consistently if I didn't have meals ready in the freezer. I only need about a half hour to cook up the freezer meal, set the table, prepare sides, and get the kids' meals ready. Meals that can't be prepared in advance are prepped during lunch or during my baby's nap.
I guess you could say I "bulk clean" too. Fridays are my cleaning day, and I do just about all except laundry and daily home maintenance then. The kids know it's "cleaning day" and help when they can; I utilize the baby's naps as well as I can, and finish in the evening if need be. I love going into the weekend with a clean house.
I also have a set list of morning chores and evening chores that I'm able to do in just a few minutes but that make the day run so much more smoothly. While the kids are having breakfast and the baby is in her chair watching, I do all my morning tasks as quickly as I can before sitting down to eat. (Of course, if the baby needs me, I rearrange things. But she's usually happy after eating first thing.) And before bed, while my husband is on baby duty, I clean and get things set out for the next day.
For exercise, I used to go for daily three-mile walks with the jogging stroller before I had my littlest, but I have found that near impossible since her birth. Instead, I go for a run every other morning before my husband heads to work (on my off mornings, I get up with the baby and my hubby gets a run in). This only works for me because my baby is sleeping through the night (or just about); otherwise, sleep would take priority! 
As for "keeping things exciting for the 2.5yo"--this is something I struggle with too. I would love to take them out to the park or to the library every morning, but sometimes I feel like there just aren't enough hours in the day. After eating breakfast and then feeding and changing baby and getting her down for a nap, then reading to them while she's sleeping, then rocking her back to sleep after she wakes up upset, then taking the toddlers to the potty, then cleaning up toys, then prepping for lunch and getting the meal on the table...you get the idea! Things are just so busy, there isn't a lot of wiggle room for special fun time--and even if there were, most days I feel too tired to pack everyone up and attempt an outing.
Luckily, toddlers can be pleased over the smallest things! So blowing up a couple balloons for them to play with while I make lunch or pulling out some junk mail and letting them play mailman can be lots of fun. I have a list of lots of little things that are out of the ordinary to throw into the mix when the children seem to be getting bored. And I save the big things for when Daddy is home.
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Blessings,
Celeste
Joyous Lessons
Mommy to six: three boys (8, 4, newborn) and four girls (7, 5, 2, and 1)
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lovebeingamom
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| Posted: June 30 2009 at 7:53pm | IP Logged
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"Don't shower, don't go to the bathroom and don't eat...just kidding." - Maddie, that is exactly how I currently feel .... thanks for making me smile though .
Thanks 8smallones, I am looking into those two books you recommended. Also, thanks for the other suggestions - I need to get back into bulk preparing/cooking meals - that would be a great timesaver during the week - allowing me a little more time to play with the children.
DominaCaeli, I am in a similar situation as you are ... I have 2 small children 2.5 yo and 9.5 mo. I like the idea of *bulk* cleaning assigning one day to do it all. I currently am trying to clean *something* everyday (each chore is assigned a day - therefore only taking roughly 30 minutes to get a chore done). What are your morning and evening chores?
"Instead, I go for a run every other morning before my husband heads to work (on my off mornings, I get up with the baby and my hubby gets a run in). This only works for me because my baby is sleeping through the night (or just about); otherwise, sleep would take priority!" - I too am running 3 days/week; might not be a bad idea to try and get it in before the kids wake up and DH goes to work. How long is your baby sleeping - what are you calling *through the night*?
You also mentioned that you have "list of lots of little things that are out of the ordinary to throw into the mix when the children seem to be getting bored" - could I trouble you for what ideas you have on the list?
Thanks again ladies for all your thoughts and suggestions. I am really glad to know that I am not alone and really appreciated the hugs.
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DominaCaeli
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| Posted: July 01 2009 at 10:19am | IP Logged
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lovebeingamom wrote:
| DominaCaeli, I am in a similar situation as you are ... I have 2 small children 2.5 yo and 9.5 mo. I like the idea of *bulk* cleaning assigning one day to do it all. I currently am trying to clean *something* everyday (each chore is assigned a day - therefore only taking roughly 30 minutes to get a chore done). |
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I used to do a chore a day before my little one came along, but for me it felt draining to be deep cleaning every single day, even if it was just only one room. Fridays are a very busy day for me, but it works. It's worth one long day (which is followed by the weekend--one of the reasons I picked Friday!) to have some "free time" on the other days. I leave big cleaning projects or monthly cleaning that requires harsher chemicals for Saturdays, when my husband is home to watch the kids and I won't be interrupted.
lovebeingamom wrote:
| What are your morning and evening chores? |
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Evening chores (done after kids are in bed, just before retiring for the night):
--Unload bottles and cups from dishwasher
--Prepare bottle of water for my husband to take to work
--Prepare baby's bottles
--Prepare toddlers' straw cups (waters and milks) for the morning and lunch
--Prepare coffeemaker
--Tidy living area and kitchen
Morning chores (done after the baby has been fed and the children have started breakfast):
--Finish emptying dishwasher
--Start coffeemaker and make breakfast for myself
--Gather and start laundry (Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays)
--Tidy living area and kitchen
In addition to these chores, the kids and I do a quick tidy before lunch and dinner, I sweep the dining area/kitchen a couple times a week, and I do laundry. Pretty much everything else is left for Fridays.
lovebeingamom wrote:
| I too am running 3 days/week; might not be a bad idea to try and get it in before the kids wake up and DH goes to work. How long is your baby sleeping - what are you calling *through the night*? |
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She has slept eleven straight hours a night for the past week, but she usually wakes up once in the middle of the night for a very quick feed. She goes back and forth. She has never been a good napper, but she is finally starting to take a couple predictable naps as well. So she's getting a really good amount of sleep--that's what keeps me sane. I am such a wimp when it comes to losing sleep. Also, I'm not nursing, so it's much easier for me to leave my hubby with the kids to get a run in, without worrying that she will need to eat while I'm gone. I leave early though (before 6am), so often when I get back, she is just waking up.
lovebeingamom wrote:
| You also mentioned that you have "list of lots of little things that are out of the ordinary to throw into the mix when the children seem to be getting bored" - could I trouble you for what ideas you have on the list? |
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First, we do a toy rotation--they have very few toys out at one time. So my first line of defense against the deadly toddler tantrum is to switch out their toys. It's like Christmas morning every other week around here.
We also keep a few toys that are never technically rotated in; the kids call them "specials," and they're taken out for a brief period (when I have twenty minutes to fill before dinner) and then put back away for the next time.
On Fridays, the kids clean with me: I sweep and mop while the baby is taking her morning nap, then hand washcloths to the kids; they're happy "drying the floor" for twenty minutes. They are very good at folding the towels, rags, and blankets from the laundry. They also help me vacuum by moving things out of my way and entertaining the baby. So they're pretty busy along with me on Fridays.
Some other "little things" from my list:
--watching the street sweeper and garbage man go by (the highlight of their week, just about--not kidding! They love this! If only I could get the trashman to come to our house whenever the kids get cranky... )
--balloons
--bubbles
--looking at photos from when they were babies on the computer
--bean bag toss
--alphabet matching game
--paging through old magazines
--Simon Says (useful for when I'm washing dishes or something but still free to chat with them. I also call out animals for them to imitate)
--singing songs
--reciting their favorite books
--puppets
I try to fit in a couple of these things over the course of the week to add something different into their days. Sometimes I feel guilty for being such a homebody, but I figure that in another season in my life, I will be able to take them out more. For now, I'll feel I've done my job if I can just keep them happy here at home.
Sorry to go on and on! I am certainly no expert at this...I'm just taking it one day at a time. I'm right there in the trenches with you!
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Blessings,
Celeste
Joyous Lessons
Mommy to six: three boys (8, 4, newborn) and four girls (7, 5, 2, and 1)
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lovebeingamom
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| Posted: July 01 2009 at 11:55am | IP Logged
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Thanks so much Celeste for all your advice - it is so greatly appreciated.
Have you read the book Seasons of a Mother's Heart written by Sally Clarkson? Rebecca (8smallones) recommended it - see above. I am very interested to read it and see what it has to offer me.
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mary theresa
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| Posted: July 01 2009 at 2:36pm | IP Logged
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I really, really appreciate this thread.
I have a 3 year old and a 18 mo old and am 12 wks pregnant with my 3rd. Most days I just get so overwhelmed and I feel like I'll never get a handle on this mothering thing.
I am really interested to read the Sally Clarkson book as well. I definitely feel like I'm in an "off-season" right now. And it sure doesn't feel temporary after weeks and months go by where you are always just trying to get by, you know?
Thank you, thank you, everyone for sharing.
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Mary Theresa
mother to 3 little girls --March '06, Dec '07 and Jan '10
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happymama
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| Posted: July 01 2009 at 8:11pm | IP Logged
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It is interesting to me, the word in your original question: balance. Dh & I are perfectionists, which is an out-of-balance vision to begin with. I have 4 kiddos 6 & under, and there is no balance here. It's a battle I'm constantly fighting, to have peace amid the chaos. Really, there are 4 little people bursting with energy from sun-up to sun-down, wreaking havoc on my ideals of orderliness and simplicity.
I ditto all the good advice already given... limit the clutter, do what you can with a baby in a sling or backpack. I clean "as if company were coming" every Saturday. [funny how much I can get cleaned up when I know company is coming, but not for my own dh & kids!] Exercise is truly a seasonal thing with me, due to pregnancies. I have found that Montessori "practical life" presentations to my 2-4 yos helps them to stay focused and peaceful throughout the day. I expect the kids to help with a lot of little things like clearing dishes from the table, putting clean clothes away, etc.
Most importantly what I believe is that all the strength I have to do what I do each day comes from God alone. The days I don't begin with a morning offering are completly different from the days I do. I have written in my home, "My yoke is easy, and my burdens are light, because He is my strength." Picture a BALANCE beam - you stay stuck on the ground until God joins you in the fun on the other end.
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Maddie
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| Posted: July 03 2009 at 10:30pm | IP Logged
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I was left with my younger set recently, all my teens were busy, and I remembered one "trick" I used to do when I had only little guys. (I am pg with #9) I would always eat before they ate, that way I could focus on feeding them, serving them, and talking with them without being hungry myself. As they got older it helped eating before everyone else so I could also correct their manners without talking with my mouth full.
Cloistered with Infants You may enjoy this article.
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~Maddie~
Wife to my dh and Momma of 9 dear ones
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Nique
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| Posted: July 03 2009 at 10:49pm | IP Logged
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What a great article Maddie!
Thanks!
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I had always thought that once you grew up you could do anything you wanted - stay up all night or eat ice cream straight out of the container. ~Bill Bryson
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Finding a Balance - How do you do it???
