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DeAnn M
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| Posted: March 01 2009 at 11:22pm | IP Logged
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Hi There,
Our bedtime routine seems to be out of whack. We have 6 kids from 7 months to 10. My husband and I always seem to be exhausted, stressed and frustrated at bedtime. We manage to get in a decade of the rosary each night. Before, during and after seem a little crazy. I always tell my kids that I would prefer my last words of the day to them be, "Good night, sweetie, God Bless you." Rather than, (yelling) "Would you get back in bed and be quiet??!!" Sometimes I feel like I need a glass of wine just to make it through jammies and teeth brushing. (I'm kidding, although I have done that before) I would like to set the tone for a peaceful night's rest by having a smoother bed time routine.
Do you guys have a bedtime routine...esp those of you with little ones?
Is it realistic to institute a 15 minute period of silence before we pray the decade of the rosary?
I think I read in, "A Mother's Rule" that she staggers the children's bedtimes. Anyone do this, too?
Any thoughts?
Sweet Dreams,
DeAnn
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Maryan
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| Posted: March 02 2009 at 9:19am | IP Logged
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It differs a little when my dh is home, but in the winter when I'm putting the kids to bed, at 7 pm we:
- put on 'jamas.
- brush teeth/go potty
- read two stories on the large mattress on the floor in their bedroom (don't ask)
- 4 oldest boys get in bed, I nurse baby while we
- say the rosary (they're in bed, I'm rocking in the chair. They each say a decade to the best of their abilities -- we used to say the rosary in the living room. It didn't work with our little crowd).
- at the end of the rosary I sing two lullabies (Feed the Birds and Tooraloora)
- if anyone is still awake I put on a Jim Weiss CD for them OR I have a CD of some nuns singing if it's the two year old that is still awake.
We do this every night... when Daddy is home, he reads the stories and does some wrestling on the large mattress. It works really well for us, but our kids our close in age. :)
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Maryan
Mom to 6 boys & 1 girl: JP('01), B ('03), M('05), L('06), Ph ('08), M ('10), James born 5/1/12
A Lee in the Woudes
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anitamarie
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| Posted: March 02 2009 at 8:53pm | IP Logged
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We have always staggered bedtimes. It seems to help that everybody gets a little bit of time with Mom and/or Dad at the end of the day. Right now, we give the 5 and 2 1/2 yo a bath while the 8 yo and 11 yo finish their kitchen duties. Then 11 yo showers and 8 yo changes and washes up. (8 yo showers in the a.m.). The 5 yo goes down first about 7:30 because he needs it. He gets a story, usually with Mom and some snuggle time. Lately, we listen to a visualization story from Jim Weiss' Good Night or Sweet Dreams. Then Mom and Dad spend time with the 2 1/2 yo and 8 yo individually. They each then get a book and into bed by 8:00. The 11 yo then has time with one parent, usually Dad since he hasn't seen Dad all day. 11 yo goes to bed at 8:30. The 11 yo is very protective of that time with Dad. He even refers to it as "My time with Dad." Moving the 8 yo to morning shower also helped with ease of routine. My dh only travels about once a month now. That week is a little harder, but I do enlist the 8 and 11 yo with reading to siblings to keep everybody on track. I don't know if this helps, but that's what is working for us.
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teachingmom
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| Posted: March 02 2009 at 11:18pm | IP Logged
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Well, I just lost a long post answering your question to cyberspace. Suffice it to say that I do think that 15 minutes of silent prayer for young children is unrealistic. We have daily night prayer as a family, but we pray out loud and sing. Sometimes it includes either a rosary or Stations of the Cross. The younger kids have PJs on and teeth brushed before prayer, so that they go straight to bed after the peace and quiet of night prayers. That helps them to be ready for sleep. I think routine is key to help kids go to bed without complaint. And my secret weapon? We tend to be night owls, so our prayer time is sometime between 9 and 10pm.  I've never had kids 10 or under complain that they wanted to stay up later. They are totally ready to sleep when prayers are over. 
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SylviaB
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| Posted: March 03 2009 at 6:53am | IP Logged
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I just have two little ones, but we do have a routine. They take a bath and then we brush teeth.
They put on PJs and all four of us climb in my son's bed together.
We first do prayers and a decade of the rosary. I definitely don't think they would be silent for 15 minutes beforehand. Then then each pick out a picture story for Daddy to read to them. We used to do prayers last, but inevitably someone would be tired, grumpy, etc.... So, now we do it first.
Right now we are also doing the Jesus tree for Lent right before prayers.
After stories it's bed time. We tuck in my son and then I go and tuck in my daughter. She inevitably wants to do more prayers like the "Hail Mary" and "Glory Be" in her own bed. We normally do, it's nice to have time with just her.
I agree with Irene routine is key, and trying to get in bed on time! ;)
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Red Cardigan
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| Posted: March 03 2009 at 11:12am | IP Logged
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Well, my kids aren't "little" any more (youngest dd is ten) but one thing I decided to do a while ago was move any "longer" prayers *away* from bedtime.
Part of this is because my dh's schedule seldom allowed him to be home in time for a normal bedtime routine, and so when the girls were little it took all my focus and energy to get them through the tooth-brushing, jammies, bathtime etc. by myself without tacking on another lengthy prayer time.
Though I'm a night owl myself, I tend to find my energy dipping in between the dinner/clean-up hour and the girls' bedtime hour. If I had too many things we "had" to do before bed it just extended the whole process so much longer!
So we cut down the lengthy list of night prayers to just a few--a couple of regular prayers and a third or fourth one that changes with the seasons. Now that the girls are older they'll sometimes pray a rosary in bed anyway as they try to fall asleep; if we wanted to say a family rosary or the Divine Mercy Chaplet it would have to be done during the day, not just before bed.
What I was finding was that my insistence that we say a long list of prayers before bed did two things: one, make the girls drag out the "getting ready for prayers" that much longer, and two, make them get giggly/silly *after* the quiet prayers were over (at which time at least one of them would remember something she was supposed to do before prayers started and hadn't yet done).
For some people, the long quiet prayers before bed really do have a calming effect, though; I think this is one of those many areas where Danielle Bean's principle to do what works best for your family is key!
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: March 03 2009 at 9:42pm | IP Logged
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DeAnn, you might find some tips that would work for your family here. We love our bedtime routine  .
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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melanie
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| Posted: March 04 2009 at 1:09pm | IP Logged
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I'm with Red up there...we also moved longer prayers away from bedtime. Too much to handle at the end of the day. My dh is often at work still, and I need a very simple routine at bedtime. I don't even do little kids' baths at bedtime anymore.
After dinner we start getting everyone changed and brushed and all that good stuff. I often let my 12yo run that show if dh isn't home and I go upstairs with the baby and get her nursed and into bed around 7. Yes, she goes to bed just like that. I know, I'm lucky. No, they haven't all been so easy. :)
Then I come downstairs and do the whole "thing", you know how it goes....
..."Are you all ready for bed?"
..."Yes!"
..."Did you brush your teeth?"
..."No,,,I forgot."
..."Did you wash up?"
..."Um...no..."
..."So...what exactly did you do to get ready for bed again?"
I read aloud to the 4yo, and then to the 9yo, and my 12yo takes her shower during this time. Then we say prayers, quickies...Act of Contrition, Prayer to St. Michael, Guardian Angel Prayer...and I put the next two in bed around 8. My 12yo gets to stay up until 9:30.
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Melanie
homeschooling Maria (13yo), Kain (10yo), Jack (5yo), Tess (2yo), and our newest blessing, Henry Robert, born 4/23!
slightlycrunchycatholic.blogspot.com
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DeAnn M
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| Posted: March 04 2009 at 2:12pm | IP Logged
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Thanks for all of your responses, ladies. Great tips. Sometimes I forget that I can rely on my older one to help out with the littles. He's very responsible and loves to help out so I should really take advantage of that. My 2 y.o. sleeps in the same room with his big brothers so staggering bedtimes would be sort of a challenge right now.
For the last two nights I instituted a 15 minute quiet time before we said our last prayers of the evening. They all got jammies on and brushed teeth in silence and then read/looked at books for 10 minutes. It was amazing. They just quietly transitioned right into prayer time after the silent time. Even the two year old was quiet and looked at books. He's about as busy as they come so that was a real treat! The novelty may wear off, but I'll take what I can get for now. I think it may have helped me to slow down just as much as it helped the kids. Like someone mentioned on the other thread that Angie linked to, I am usually scrambling around trying to finish chores just before bed. During the last two quiet times I just sat and played with the baby. It was so relaxing...better than a glass of wine. 
Thanks again for your thoughts!
Blessings,
DeAnn
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Maryan
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| Posted: March 04 2009 at 5:55pm | IP Logged
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We don't have enough readers yet, DeAnn, to have them read themselves...so our story time helps set the mood before our rosary too. And it's true it makes things so relaxing and unscrambling.
Going up now to do it too!
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Maryan
Mom to 6 boys & 1 girl: JP('01), B ('03), M('05), L('06), Ph ('08), M ('10), James born 5/1/12
A Lee in the Woudes
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teachingmom
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| Posted: March 04 2009 at 11:02pm | IP Logged
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I think I misunderstood you DeAnn. I thought you were asking about a 15 minute period of silent prayer as a family before regular family night prayers. It sounds like the silence during bedtime prep and some time for silently reading or looking at picture books is a great way to lead into the quiet of night prayers.
Although, with 6 very talkative girls here, we rarely have silence.  My mom called today and heard so much background noise that she asked if we had company because it sounded like a party. No, it was just us. 
An example of life around here. It was 9:30 pm. Most of the girls were ready for bed, but a few were still upstairs or finishing late kitchen duty. Dh was playing fetch with the dog in the family room. I was on the sofa clipping nails for a few of the younger girls. My 2yo picks up a large plastic wiffle ball bat and uses it as a microphone and begins putting on what she calls a "show." She dances around and sings at the top of her lungs, "This is a bat . . . No, it's a SWORD! . . . but it's really a bat . . ." My ten year old, who was suffering from a slight headache this evening, turns to me and says, "I can't stand all this commotion." Poor thing!
The amazing thing is that they can transition into quiet prayer and head right to sleep immediately afterward. As Red Cardigan said, it's all in what works for your family, I guess.
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~Irene (Mom to 6 girls, ages 7-19)
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: How do you "Do" Bedtime?
