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Jenn in WY
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Any of you veteran moms simply feel overwhelmed at times? I am a mess this month. I am 26 weeks pregnant with our fourth. My oldest will be seven right before Christmas. We had amazingly poor luck with our decrepit van this past summer, and we are still paying for repairs. I can barely feed all of us the whole month as it is, and now there is this huge credit card bill. I just came back from a family funeral that I couldn't afford to fly to, but I felt a strong need to be there. The list goes on...
Utimately, though, I keep asking myself why I am trying to live this crazy homeschooling lifestyle especially when I am married to a church professional, and although we have housing provided for us, we still live at the poverty level. Wouldn't it be easier to just put the kids in school in go to work like the rest of America?
What keeps all of you going when you feel like this? And how do you continue to feel excited about a baby that you desperately want, but honestly can't afford? (The baby was conceived before the car trouble, thank God, or maybe we would have waited longer.)
And did I mention that my almost three-year-old can't seem to make it to the bathroom for a #2 without smearing it all over himself, the toilet and the floor? Doesn't the daily bath and sanitization ritual make daycare awfully tempting?
I love my kids, but I can't seem to do anything but cry or yell lately, and I am driving my husband crazy.
Thanks for listening.
Jenn in Wyoming
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MaryM
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Oh, Jenn, Jenn. Wish I could pop up north to see you and give you a hug!!! Cyberhugs - 
I bet everyone here feels overwhelmed at times - for many different reasons. We all have different challenges to face and crosses to bear. At times those can all seem to come at once and seem more than we can manage. You really have had lots going on the past 6 months. - And by the way, it sounds like congratulations are in order. I hadn't heard about the pregnancy, but that would explain why I haven't seen you at any events this fall.
At times like this I think only prayer and abandonment to Christ, uniting in His suffering can get us through. I like to pray to Our Lady of Sorrows when I'm feeling overwhelmed and in pain as a mother - she can understand the suffering and worry of a mother in a way no one else can.
You ask about why you would continue to live this lifestyle - only you can answer that. You made these life choices for some reason that you felt was important to your family. Revisit those reasons and remind yourself what benefits this has even through the struggles and the suffering. And you know that a change in lifestyle might mean a lessing of some challenges, but it is really just an exchange for others. There is no lifestyle in this world that doesn't bring it own struggles. There are many overwhelming aspects of living the "life of the rest of America."
My prayers are with you, Jenn!
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Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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kristina
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Dear Jenn,
First off, know that you are in my prayers right now. Being pregnant with financial and family stress is quite a bit to handle. One of my favorite Scriptures is from
1 Corinthians 10:13.
"No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it."
Jenn in WY wrote:
What keeps all of you going when you feel like this? |
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Well, for me it is simply remembering that we homeschool because it was placed upon our hearts.
Jenn in WY wrote:
Wouldn't it be easier to just put the kids in school in go to work like the rest of America?
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I have weighed that one so many ways. To name a few..
1. I would have the immeasurable stress of not knowing all of the "garbage" they would be exposed to.
2. The running around and scramble to get 7 people (six, in your case) out the door each morning.. NO THANK YOU!!
3. All of the housework, laundry, making lunches, etc.. get put to the end of the day. With that schedule, when is there familytime?
4. Unless you can earn a significant amount, it can actually cost more to go to work than stay home.
Jenn in WY wrote:
And did I mention that my almost three-year-old can't seem to make it to the bathroom for a #2 without smearing it all over himself, the toilet and the floor? Doesn't the daily bath and sanitization ritual make daycare awfully tempting?
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I congratulate you for having a pottytrained 2 year old boy? 
(what's that like?.. my 2nd,3rd and now 4th son REFUSED to use the potty until they are 3 1/2!).
I try to keep in mind that these days go by fast. They are but a blip on the screen of eternity. Messy potty times won't last forever. Encourage your son to let you do the clean up of his wiggly bottom and reward him when he goes and stays put until you prepare him to hop off the potty.
I can only commisserate with you. On the one hand our six year old insisted upon being cleaned up until very recently, while our five year old is also a wiggler and tries to tackle the job himself.. {which was cured with a chore of germ wiping the entire potty } and a three year old boy who presents us with a messy pull-up everyday while avoiding the potty at all costs! 
As far as daycare goes, I cannot imagine that the potty is immaculate all day long and your children would be exposed to all kinds of germs at a public potty. Statistics consistently show that children in daycare often have more sick days than stay-at-home children.
Jenn in WY wrote:
And how do you continue to feel excited about a baby that you desperately want, but honestly can't afford? (The baby was conceived before the car trouble, thank God, or maybe we would have waited longer.)
Jenn in Wyoming |
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Remember that this new baby is a gift from God, not created to simply be a financial burden. Trust that God will provide for your entire family. This child will not just multiply the love in your family, he or she will increase it exponentially! This child's life will impact everyone he or she encounters for God's purposes. God does not just randomly create people.. cling to Psalm 139: 13-16
You formed my inmost being; you knit me in my mother's womb. I praise you, so wonderfully you made me; wonderful are your works! My very self you knew; my bones were not hidden from you, When I was being made in secret, fashioned as in the depths of the earth. Your eyes foresaw my actions; in your book all are written down; my days were shaped, before one came to be.
Everything you have.. the roof over your head, the clothes on your back, the food on your table is all through the providence of our Lord. I encourage you to be thankful, and trust in God's abundant providence. I have discovered that we may not have what we thing we "want" but we do have what we "need." Offer your needs in prayer. As St. Paul reminds us in Philippians 4:6-7 "Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
When our first son was born and I gave up my job, we hit some very hard financial times. Although we never came out and asked for help, somehow God put it upon the heart of family members to bless us. My parents would grocery shop and deliver a load of groceries every week. I never made any requests for this, it was simply upon their hearts. I do not think they had any idea how much we truly needed the items they so kindly brought. Once my inlaws gave us an envelope of cash which was exactly what we needed to pay the bills that month. There is no way they could have known what we needed. This was not a usual thing for them to do. There is NO WAY my husband would have ever confided our woes to them. God truly provided through them.
It was so difficult to be humble and cheerfully and graciously accept the help. Someone wisely shared with me that when you allow others to bless you, they are actually the ones being blessed because they are given the opportunity to make sacrifices and give.
Jenn in WY wrote:
I love my kids, but I can't seem to do anything but cry or yell lately, and I am driving my husband crazy.
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I have those days, too. When they seem to be snowballing, sometimes a fresh start is what I need. Advent is the perfect time to prepare our hearts. As you prepare your heart and home for your new baby, prepare for your heart for the Infant Jesus as well. One of the most practical ways is through the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Nothing is better for beginning anew like a good cobwebsweeping of the soul.
After that, perhaps you can embrace this special time, lighten up on the homeschool lessons and focus on just being with and loving your Sweet Treasures. Read together, prepare for their new sibling together, delight in your children as your Heavenly Father delights in you!
Be assured of my prayers for you! Sending you a big
__________________
kristina
yesterthoughts
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ladybugs
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Dear Jenn,
I can really empathize with you. I'm sorry you're feeling this way.
All I can offer is try to look at the blessings and give thanks in all things. I must say, I'm no expert at it, but in our recent trials, when I did employ this methodology, it lightened my spirits and helped my mood and set a good precedent for the children.
Also, remember that you only have this moment that you are living. The future is not yet here so don't even worry about it. Take it moment by moment. You WILL make it through.
And God does provide. You already know that, I know but sometimes, I think at least for me, the negative feelings seem stronger than the cognitive awareness and it seems a battle. If you can, rest. Rest in a visit to the Blessed Sacrament, grab your rosary. It's amazing how much relaxation these two prayers will provide.
You're in our prayers. Hang in there! You will make it.
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Love and God Bless,
Maria P
My etsy store - all proceeds go to help my fencing daughters!
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kingvozzo
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Jenn, I'm not a veteran mom, but I can truly relate to feeling completely overwhelmed at times, wondering if homeschooling is truly best for my family, wouldn't it be better if I were working, etc, etc. At times like these (and I'm really just coming out of one, myself) I usually just pull back from all the academic stuff, let the kids be and think and pray about what God really wants from me. It helps me to be reminded. I've heard it suggested to keep a list of WHY we homeschool, but I haven't done that yet. It seems like it would be helpful during these dry spells.
My kids are in the same age rande as yours, my oldest was 7 in April (but I only have 3 so far). I would suggest taking this time when they are so young, and you're pregnant and overwhelmed to pull back from everthing that's not aboslutely neccessary and try to read good books, and maybe even a good video or two a day, judiciously used
You will most definitely be in my prayers. I know you will have peace soon.
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Noreen
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Mom to 4 great kids and 10 sweet ones in Our Lady's arms
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Rachel May
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Jenn,
One thing I love about this forum is that it's so easy to see that you are not alone.
I have a lot of the same feelings as you do about money, patience with the kids, homeschooling, and new babies. I did have a work experience this summer which made me feel like I was finally "contributing"; I nannied/homeschooled a famly of 6 kids while their mom went to class for diplomats' spouses. I did not have to buy clothes, food, or prepare anything for school. My hours were 9 to 4, and I took my kids with me and they were mostly cared for by the other kids. The pay was very good. Doesn't that sound great? After 3 weeks I was totally sick of the whole thing, I couldn't wait for it to be over, and I just wanted to be home with my kids. I didn't think it would turn out that way at all. Anyway, luckily I got pregnant which from the beginning I had said would have to end my work since my morning sickness is so bad. It was a helpful lesson for me.
Yesterday I was feeling low too, and as I was being sad, I was listening to the Lion ,the Witch, and the Wardrobe with my oldest 2. In the story when Edmund gives in to the temptation for Turkish Delight and being a Prince, he ends up cold and miserable walking in the snow and gets bread, water, and is tied up. The other kids have to tramp through the snow to what they think is certain death. They are weary and scared and cold also, but when they wake up, there is Father Christmas with food and gifts and Spring comes soon after.
I am always so caught up in the story at that point that I have never thought about how it relates to our own Christian journey. But it was a neat and helpful image for me to meditate on as I washed dishes and changed diapers.
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Rachel
Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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Sarah
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Many times I've wanted to post something nearly the same as how you feel?  Many times I've blamed all my problems on homeschooling. When I was pg with my 4th, my oldest was nearly 7 also--two years ago. Its hard. You have no help. No one can do a darn thing for themselves, right? You have the work of 10 people on your back and you can't get it all done. I live your life, too. But, I don't think putting kids in school will solve anything, just make your life more complicated in diiferent ways, as people above have said.
Please know that you are not alone, although you feel like it. Right before I read your post, I was buying training pants on-line as I felt that dread of the upcoming potty non-sense that will go on now with #5 for the next year. Potty training is stressful, even if that sounds dumb.
I had one that couldn't get the timing quite right and #2 ended up on the floor in front of the toilet! 
Poor guy, he tried!
Here's something that popped into my head recently when I was overwhelmed. I was knocked over and deeply saddened as I realized that one day I would look back and think that it wasn't that bad. . .I should of enjoyed it more. . .the kids were with me such a short time and I wasted it yelling. . .all they'd remember of homeschooling was a hag of a mother who was never happy. . .all this stuff that I fret about picking up and taking care of could vanish tomorrow, but the children are people that will BE forever. . .
I've been asking God, begging Him, to show me these types of things. . .to make me not care so much about things fleeting. Yesterday, when the house was an absolute wreck, we'd had about nothing done schoolish, I threw a table cloth on the table, made some tea, got out some nice teacups and we sipped some tea and watched snowflakes fall. . .and I told them there were no other people in the world I loved more . I have never done this before because I never felt like I had time. I'm cutting way back on what I'm asking of myself, realizing there's much more to school life than ABC.
Lean on St. Joseph because he knows the fear of trying to provide and feeling poor.
Keep reaching out for encouragement, don't lose hope, offer your suffering (easy to say, I know). Cut back on what's not super important right now to rejuvenate yourself. I know that "driving your husband nuts" thing. I've been there. I've realized its better to vent somewhere else, because they really can't take it.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I was crying just posting this to you!
__________________
Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
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Rachel May
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Sarah wrote:
| I was knocked over and deeply saddened as I realized that one day I would look back and think that it wasn't that bad. . .I should of enjoyed it more. . .the kids were with me such a short time and I wasted it yelling. . .all they'd remember of homeschooling was a hag of a mother who was never happy. . . |
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I decided to slow down and do more cuddling with the kids today. We read Old Befana. She's described as being very crabby and always sweeping. I said, "She sounds like me, huh?" One of the 6 year olds piped up and said, "No, Mommy, you don't sweep!" I laughed (and cried on the inside. Didn't they notice all the sweeping I'd done? )
On a more serious note and at the risk of getting creating a hullabaloo, I have had friends who have had circumstances where they chose to put their kids into school in the middle of the year adn have left them in for a few years. They had good reasons, and at the time it was really best for the whole family. I think it takes courage to be able to say, "I can't do this right now." They also are happy homeschooling again and the break helped everyone. Prayer is key to that decision, of course.
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Rachel
Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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Leonie
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Have you read "A Mom Just Like You" by Vicki Farris? Very honest and a good book about making it through difficult times, about why we don't have to do it all and about why homeschooling is good.
And - take a day off - a week off - there are many inexpensive fun things to do and you and the kids can be refreshed.
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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Sarah
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Rachel May wrote:
| I have had friends who have had circumstances where they chose to put their kids into school in the middle of the year and have left them in for a few years. They had good reasons, and at the time it was really best for the whole family. I think it takes courage to be able to say, "I can't do this right now." They also are happy homeschooling again and the break helped everyone. Prayer is key to that decision, of course. |
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I have a couples friends that have done this, too. Homeschooling may not be for everyone or at all times of your life. However, don't be hasty on this decision. Rachel's right. Seriously pray and as someone said above-revisit your reasons for homeschooling. Make sure depression hasn't set in---there are so many factors that can cause depression and it doesn't mean your nuts (lack of good sleep, not enough light (winter)or rest, a death, financial stress, etc.) If you think you are depressed-get help. Some meds are considered safe in pg and they do wonders. Also, realize that grief can cause irritabilty and anger. You mentioned a funeral. Maybe you need to throw yourself down on you pillow and cry (every once in a while I have one of these cathartic episodes  and I'm always better for it.)I don't mean to tell you what to do, just give ideas of what has helped me.
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Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
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Cheryl
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Hi Jenn,
I'm not a veteran mom, but I want to respond because, like you, I'm 25 weeks pregnant with our fourth and my oldest is turning 7 on Dec 11th. I've cried and yelled many times in the past few weeks. Actually, it's really yelling, then regretting it and crying later. We are not having financial troubles and my dd 3.5 just potty trained pretty smoothly 2 weeks ago, so I can certainly understand you feeling overwhelmed. I've been overwhelmed without the extra that you're dealing with. Others have said it, but I want to say it too, "You're not alone." I find it hard to have so many ideas of things I want to do and very little energy. Yesterday I felt wiped out by supper time. I've also been feeling like I'm on an emotional roller coaster. (It's got to be hormonal, I rarely cry when I'm not pregnant.) I go from happy and relaxed to sad and scared and overwhelmed all in a matter of hours. Sorry I don't have any answers for you. I can tell you what I think will help me - going to bed earlier, (which is so hard because I love that quiet time at night) praying more, letting things go for now, and trying not to beat myself up. By that I mean not being so hard on myself if I make mistakes.
Oh, and I wanted to add that my oldest ds potty trained 2 weeks after his 4th birthday and my second ds was just about 4.
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Cheryl
Wife to Bob ('97)
Mom to Matthew 13, Joseph 11, Sarah 10, Rachel 6, Hannah almost 4 and Mary 1
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Jenn in WY
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Thanks so much everyone for your kind words of support and encouragement. I truly appreciate the prayers. I feel much better knowing that I am not the only one who has ever felt this way!
I am pretty sure I am not depressed, just pregnant and suffering slightly from light deprivation. This time of year is difficult for me regardless of my personal circumstances. I always think it is due to something external like debt or returning fertility, but my dh keeps pointing out that I am always overtired and crabby in December and when the days begin to lengthen, I perk up again.
The potty training stories have been making me laugh. Ben started potty training at 25 months! Ten months later he is still working on it, but refuses to wear anything but "big-boy" underwear. I prefer the quick and clean methods of my other two children who potty trained much later, but who am I to discourage him. I haven't washed diapers since February, but I sure have washed a lot of other things! LOL!!! I am going to try candy for cleanliness. He loves candy, and we never have it!
It has also been nice to hear that I can take a break from school. We are already behind, and I have been feeling driven to catch-up, especially because I am worried about getting back at things after the baby arrives. I am so new at this that I don't have a sense yet of how to balance home and education. I don't have enough experience to feel confident that if I let things go, my children will still be gaining an education.
Thanks again for your thoughtful replies.
Jenn in Wyoming with dh Lincoln, Maria Sophia 98, Gerald Joseph 01, Benedict Roger 03 and either Micah or Johanna due March 6, 2005
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KC in TX
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This time last year I was pregnant with my 4th and sick all the time. My oldest had just turned 6 at the time. We didn't get much school done until about April. Then, the baby was born. On top of that my oldest was diagnosed with high fuctioning autism the day after I found out I was pregnant. I marched on solidly until a couple of months ago. At times I feel such despair and feel I can't provide enough for him, but then in the next second I realize he would never learn anything in a school. It's all very, very overwhelming.
When I was feeling sick, I just read as much as I could to my children. Some days we read a lot, other days we didn't even read one book. I let them all play wonderful things together and it was great to watch.
I don't have any advice, I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone in feeling that way.
__________________
KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
Mama to LB ('98)
Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
Jordan ('05)
And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
The Cabbage Patch
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Jenn in WY
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Hi Everyone! Things are going better here, even though I went on bedrest Friday. My blood pressure is not behaving. You can read all about it on the "We Pray to the Lord" Thread.
Now at least we will get a lot of school done!!!  Our parish and friends are bringing us meals, and people have promised to come and clean things periodically. I am sure that I will feel blue over the next several weeks, but right now I feel extremely blessed.
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Jenn
Wife to Lincoln since 97
Mom to Maria 98, Gerald 01, Benedict 03 and Micah 06
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Bridget
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Bed rest is rough! Thank goodness you have some support and meals! And you only have a couple of months. Then you will have that precious baby and you won't care at all. It will just be part of what you did to care for this baby. Part of this job of mothering.
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God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
Our Magnum Opus
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Jenn in WY
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Micah Andrew was born on 3/3/06. I am enjoying the many benefits of prolactin. We survived bedrest and had a great delivery.
Thank you for all of your input during the dark months when things were rough. It really helped.
__________________
Jenn
Wife to Lincoln since 97
Mom to Maria 98, Gerald 01, Benedict 03 and Micah 06
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Maddie
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Thanks be to God! Congratulations Jen and family! Welcome sweet Micah.
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~Maddie~
Wife to my dh and Momma of 9 dear ones
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kingvozzo
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Jenn, Congratulations, and God Bless you all!
Thanks for the update.
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Noreen
Wife to Ed
Mom to 4 great kids and 10 sweet ones in Our Lady's arms
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Leonie
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Hey, Jenn, CONGRATULATIONS!
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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amyable
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Congratulations!!
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of 
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Feeling Overwhelmed
