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Schoolrmacres
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| Posted: Dec 27 2008 at 8:53am | IP Logged
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My dd(9) and her cousin(8) were given cell phones by their cousin(21) who felt they should have them. I do not agree but that is another post. Now that dd has it and is so excited about it I am looking for rules and guidelines that we can enforce with regards to her useage of her cell phone. Thankfully it is a pay as you go and it has already been set that to buy more minutes you do extra jobs around the house to build up the account. Also we have made it clear that she gets no privacy,phone is used in the family room where dh and I can see what is being sent or done and to whom.
What am I missing?
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Darlene, wife to Shawn and mamma to Haleigh Elizabeth, our Gift from God through adoption.
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http://achampionfamily.blogspot.com/
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Martha
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we're mean, so take that into consideration 
I'd not allow anything other than phone conversation:
no texting, pictures, downloads, being exchanged... at least not at those young ages.
jmho.
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Martha
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SuzanneG
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My neighbor has girls your age, and she has the same rules as Martha. She also is militant about the "rudeness factor" of cell phones and uses it as "teaching moments" for cell-phone-etiquette. ie: How to answer a call. How to excuse yourself. Not interrupting current convos to take a call. Don't talk in front of others, etc.
There must be a purpose for the conversation....Idle chatter is NOT allowed.
She has the charger in a common area....not their bedroom.
The book Bringing Up Geeks is a good one to peruse/read to reinforce your ideas about all the crazy technology/communications that young children are exposed to. There are lots of good ideas about things to take into consideration when setting limits about this sort of thing.
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LisaR
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ds age 15 is just now getting a cell phone. I honestly can't imagine my younger kids having one yet, or how we would fit it into the budget. I'm glad that his school does not allow them, I'm also kind of frustrated/stubborn/old fashioned-or plain old to realize that cell phones are almost a necessity in this day and age to communicate.
lurking here to pick up any tips/hints.
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Mary Chris
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We also do not allow texting or internet.
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sewcrazy
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My older boys have them. We just let them get texting recently, as their friends kept texting them and we were getting billed on those, even though my kids told them we didn't have texting.
I am not a fan of the phones. My sons, like my dh, has horrid manners with the cell phone. My dh's is affixed to his ear continuously, and the boys are learning from him.  I do take them away when I feel they are infering with family comunication.
I am glad we set 13 as the minimum age, so I have a few more years until the next is old enough.
LeeAnn
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LisaR
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this might have to be moved to another area, but are any of you involved in homeschooling groups/co-ops? do you find cell phones to be a problem?
I am really offended at how out of control the use of I Pods/Cell Phones are in the homeschooling co-ops I'm in. I suggested the rule of no electronics, as is the case at my ds's Catholic High School, but the governing board said that that was the point: we were not a "school"
however, I still think that this is an issue worth fighting. any suggestions/experience?
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
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Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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Willa
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Martha wrote:
we're mean, so take that into consideration
I'd not allow anything other than phone conversation:
no texting, pictures, downloads, being exchanged... at least not at those young ages.
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I'm a bit soft, but I would feel exactly the same... the cell phone would be for particular occasions only, supervised carefully, and no TM or downloads until much older.
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Willa
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crusermom
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I make it clear that they are not THEIR cell phones. They are my cell phones that they are allowed to use for me to get a hold of them and for safety when driving, etc. Any abuses and the cell phones are to be turned into their rightful owner - me! We do allow texting for the two oldest for the reasons already mentioned. The phones are often swapped between sibs so they have probably told their friends that - we never have problems with anything inappropriate. They are not hooked up to the internet - that does not serve the purpose of the cell phone - safety and family communication.
Also no talking while driving. They must pull over to talk. If I caught or have report of a driver talking - the cell phone will be moved to the trunk. That way they have it for emergencies.
I don't really see the purpose of a child much younger than 14 needing a cell phone. They are usually with an adult if they are out. I do give my daughters a phone when they walk the dog and it is turned in as soon as they get home.
Also - you might want to make sure that texting is blocked on your young daughters phone. I had some very inappropriate pictures sent to me by some guy that were meant for his lady friend. He dialed the wrong number. Yikes. I have turned off the text messaging on my phone and don't let my younger ones receive any text messages.
I guess, after all this rambling, I see the cell as a tool not a toy. A very useful toy, but one that can also be very dangerous.
Mary
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SallyT
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I would set some kind of limit on how many minutes she can earn per month. My oldest daughter (almost 15) has a pay-as-you-go, and she's responsible for paying for and budgeting her use of minutes. I will occasionally buy her some time, but only if I just need her to have an operative phone so that I can communicate with her. If she were younger, I would set a MINUSCULE limit. Give her the smallest increment of minutes possible, and let that be it for the month. If she uses them up, too bad. In this way the phone can be a useful teaching tool -- not only for etiquette, but also for the concept of planning, budgeting, avoiding waste, etc. (at least, that was one of my rationales for letting my teenager have one . . .).
Sally
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juststartn
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Um....I'd not let her keep it, but that's me and my dd. I've got an 8yr old, she'll be 9 in March, and there is NO reason for her to have one. I mean, its not like she's involved in extra-curricular activities without me or DH there...
And honestly, I'd be giving said gift-giver a heads up that such gifts are not needed at your home, and while you appreciate the thought, you know better than she does what your dc "needs".
I've got some relatives who don't acknowledge boundaries, and I get harped on a bit because there are some things that we have chosen not to do/have in our home, but those are precisely *our* choices...
Rachel
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Schoolrmacres
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Thank you for the suggestions for the cell phone, I did let my family know when it was initially suggested that I did not want her to have one but my family is really good about not listening. As far as they are concerned I am already ruining her life by honmeschooling and even more so by Catholic homeschooling (they are Protestant). We are also modest in this house as well as minimul to no t.v.,video games and such as that.
We keep out dd so sheltered that the sun hurts her eyes when we do let her out,LOL.
Thanks again
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Darlene, wife to Shawn and mamma to Haleigh Elizabeth, our Gift from God through adoption.
Peace be with you
http://achampionfamily.blogspot.com/
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Martha
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yeah. truthfully, I'd not let mine keep it either.
that's just not a decision that someone outside the house gets to make for my kid(s).
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JodieLyn
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Well going by my nephews (who had many of the rules mentioned above especially the it's mom's phone that they get to use) the oldest nephew just turned 10.. I'd say.. let her carry it around all the time and it'll be ruined in a couple of months 
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stacykay
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Our boys get their cell phones when they turn 18. Since we do use private high school for the high school years, it would be so much easier for me, if they had a cell to check on practice schedules or other after-school activities.
They do feel like they are the only ones who don't have cell phones. When they go out, I have given them my phone to use, for emergencies or to call for pick up.
It may seem we are archaic, but it is more of a financial reason than anything. If we were to have a phone for each boy over 10, that would be four phones, plus dh's and my cell phones.
As it is, we do limit texting. And no talking while driving, let alone texting (I have actually seen drivers on the interstate, tooling along at 75+ miles, TEXTING!  Yikes!!!)
Sorry I'm not more helpful!
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
(dss Matt-20, Mike-18, Pete-13, Mark-10, Paul-7, and John-4)
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LisaR
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ds, 15 1/2, is on his 4th day with his first phone.
maybe I will change my mind, but it has sure made coordinating wrestling practice pick up/drop off and a shopping trip so much easier already!!
(but at the same time not really wishing he had had one sooner, kwim??)
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: cell phone rules/guidelines in your house
