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lambchopwife
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| Posted: Nov 29 2008 at 6:14am | IP Logged
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Hello,
My girlfriend asked me to post here looking for advice. Her 6yr. old son is being a major booger with school lately. Having fits about math, attitude problem, whines about school, etc. Her husband decided to put him in school on the 8th. She agrees with him because she has warned him about sending him to school before. I guess her question is what went wrong. She punished him for his bad behavior and he still wouldn't coroperate. She is feeling as if this is all of her fault. She still wants to homeschool him and so does hubby. I guess they are sending him to school as a punishment so that he can see how good he had it at home. Anyone have any advice for the transition from home to school?
Thanks a bunch!
Cheryl
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MrsM
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| Posted: Nov 29 2008 at 11:24am | IP Logged
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I guess my advice would be to continue homeschooling, and to work on the boy's heart issues. Sending him to school is unlikely to solve the problems they've been having. You said he's been having problems "lately." So is this is relatively new behavior? I'd recommend reading the book Transforming the Difficult Child. I have a difficult 6yods, and this book has been tremendously helpful. I pray that your friend is able to find a solution to allow her to continue homeschooling!
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Lynn in California
Homeschooling dd13, dd11, ds10, and ds8
Mom to Miracle Baby ds3
Mom to darling Elizabeth and Francis, held in Mary's arms and always in my heart
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lambchopwife
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| Posted: Nov 29 2008 at 6:47pm | IP Logged
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Lynn,
Thanks for your response. In regards to your question is this new, I would have to say yes. He started acting this way at the end of the last school year. I think he mostly has issues with his math. It's not that he can't do it, it's that he won't. It is a battle to do it. He is usually not a rude, aggressive child. He is just the oppisite. He is very sensitive and very affectionate. That is why this behavior is so puzzlling. I have sent my friend your reply to help.
God bless,
Cheryl
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: Nov 29 2008 at 7:33pm | IP Logged
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Cheryl, it might help to separate:
Math content (skills to be mastered)
Math readiness (developmental concerns)
Math approach (textbook, hands-on, real life, etc.)
Educational philosophy (school-at-home, child-led, cooperative model, learning style, teaching style, etc.)
Relationship concerns (discipline, cooperation, organization, temperament, etc.)
It sounds like somewhere there is a mismatch between some of the above variables. Perhaps the parents can be reassured that the child is young enough that they have time to regroup by taking a break from formal math while they focus on "teasing out" what works for this child from what doesn't. If they do choose to send him to school, I would encourage them to do so from a positive place...as a way to figure out what is at the heart of the difficulties.
Praying for your friend and her family.
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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chrisv664
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| Posted: Dec 01 2008 at 6:59am | IP Logged
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Speaking from the experience of someone who did put my children back in school, only to bring them home again  , I would say she should keep him home and work through this. Homeschooling,for me, is a constant evaluating and re-evaluating my own issues, approaches and self-discipline. So, even if they get through this trial (and they will), there will be more down the line. 
Oh, and I think that if I could offer your friend a bit of advice... I wouldn't have used the threat of sending him to school as "punishment"" because, I am sure we all know peopole who for one reason or another have had no choice but to send a child to school after homeschooling and I can imagine that it would be difficult if the child viewed it as a punishment ,rather than a difficult decision that the family had to make for circumstances out of their control. I try to never threaten punishments that are things I wouldn't actually be willing to carry out, or that punish me, as well as the child! 
Praying here, for wisdom for your friend!
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Chris
Loving Wife of Dan and Mom to Kate, Jessica, Ben,
Rebecca, Thomas and Hannah
Burning The Candle At Both Ends
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Friend Needs advice
