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SeaStar
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Celebrating without food... a huge challenge. My dd is on a very restrictive, low carb diet for medical reasons, and we just had her brother's birthday yesterday. I made her a special low carb "treat", if you can call it that, but still, during the party, her little eyes filled with big tears while watching the other kids eat cake and ice cream. She didn't say a word, but my heart was breaking, and I wound up taking her out of the room. I had a special present set aside for her, and that cheered her up, but it was hard, so hard.
Now we have more holidays coming up, and so many of the celebrations and feast days center around food, food, food.
I am looking for ideas for ways to celebrate without food. If suddenly you were told you could not have Mexican food on Dec. 12 or make cookies for St. Nicholas Day, what would you do? We are loaded up on crafts and books, and those help, but I'm just wondering if there are other ways to celebrate that I have not thought of...
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KackyK
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This is going to sound dumb...it does to me at this late hour, but I can't seem to answer it myself  .... What about drinks? I don't know her medical condition...but what about some sort of special drink? Something with lime or coconut on Dec. 12, some sort of ginger tea, or even just ginger ale (for gingerbread) on Dec. 6. Probably not going to cut it! All I could come up with! Oh and decorations too! Oh and activities that aren't too involved...Pinata with small toys on Dec. 12 and maybe make gingerbread (this is our tradition the gingerbread St.Nick cookies) men cards and deliver secretly to neighbors on the 6th.
Can you tell I can't think past your two dates?!
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SeaStar
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I really like the idea of making the gingerbread men cards. She could decorate those with glitter, beads, etc, and she would really like that.
She can have no sugar- drink options are limited, and I try hard to avoid the artificial sweeteners. I have and use Stevia, but she doesn't like it all that much and just prefers to drink water.
Maybe I need to search more blogs for more creative craft ideas (in my spare time  ).
We got through Halloween by playing candy store and buying back all her candy. She then used the money to buy herself a LIttle Pony at Target the next day.
Anyone have any special traditions that do not involve food?
Thanks
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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JennGM
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Melinda, I have no ideas. I felt the whole world was against me when we had our food allergy diagnosis. Everything is centered around food. While I was so angry, I did realize it is normal for it to be. Look at the Mass and the Eucharist.
I did try to find certain treats within his diet to provide when we had occasions, but at the beginning I want to just stay in a hole and hide.
I don't like to support the made in China stuff, but we would get our son a "treat" or toy...hot Wheels, a Thomas train, something little for the special celebrations. Over time he recognizes the traditions, and wants everyone else to eat cake and ice cream because "You can't have a birthday party without cake." But he can have sweets, so that's a difference here.
I found lots of suggestions at Kids with Food Allergies for alternate celebrations and treats.
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Michaela
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Instead of making cookies, use cookie cutters to cut out playdough or clay forms. (angels, we have a St. Nicholas cookie cutter, seasons...snowflakes, leaves, ect) If you'd like, paint the forms. You would still have the quality time with your dd, rolling out "dough"...everything but eating the finished product.
The Saint coloring sheets Matilda shares.
Decorate special candles that you will use for the holiday. When she's older you can make candles together.
For St. Nicholas' feast day your children can leave their shoes out for St. Nicholas to fill, but fill them with toys, books, or whatever your dd can have.
Donating old blankets, towels, or bags of pet food to the Humane Society for the Feast of St. Francis.
A special spot where the Saint-of-the-Day's holy card and a candle are placed.
My children enjoy making crafts, then we take them to our family, friends, and neighbors. Ding-Dong-Ditch is a HUGE hit here.
There really is no end to what you can do.
If you're struggling to come up with an idea for a specific holiday, post and I'm sure you will receive creative replies.
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JennGM
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Great ideas, Michaela! I was looking at the perspective of being with family and other gatherings and what do you bring or provide as an alternative to what everyone else has.
Our Lady of Guadalupe could be a pinata with different art supplies or toys inside instead of candy.
For St. Nicholas, you can come up loads of ideas from St. Nicholas Center. Put on a play, have a St. Nicholas come, lots of crafts and games...
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Michaela
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JennGM wrote:
| I was looking at the perspective of being with family and other gatherings and what do you bring or provide as an alternative to what everyone else has. |
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Ooops, you are right, Jenn. My response wasn't helpful with handling gatherings. That would need a completely different response...more like yours. I really need to read a bit more carefully! 
Blessings!
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Michaela
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JennGM
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Michaela wrote:
JennGM wrote:
| I was looking at the perspective of being with family and other gatherings and what do you bring or provide as an alternative to what everyone else has. |
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Ooops, you are right, Jenn. My response wasn't helpful with handling gatherings. That would need a completely different response...more like yours. I really need to read a bit more carefully!
Blessings! |
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Michaela, I'm just chuckling, because when I read your response I thought *I* need to read more carefully! I really liked how thoroughly you answered with suggestions. I know Melinda will need both kinds of ideas! It's a tough place to be, especially if a child HAS experienced the treats before.
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Taffy
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Melinda,
I know exactly what you mean. My oldest has been on many restrictive diets in the past and his current diet (gluten free, casein free, soy free, corn free) is still pretty restrictive. Believe it or not, though, it seems so much easier than the diet he was on before - the specific carb diet.
What exactly are the diet restrictions? I may have a few recipes that you might be able to try.
When I can't find a dietary substitute or didn't have a chance to prepare one, I try and give my son a different "treat" just like you did. And then I cry inside because I do feel bad for him. Life sure isn't fair sometimes. 
I do wish that life wasn't SO centered around food.
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Angi
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We have multiple food allergies. So we have experience with family and food.
First thing I would do is find one treat that your child likes. Whether it is food, a polly pocket, mini play dough, littlest pet shot. Anything small and inexpensive. Or find something she wants to collect, rocks, stamps, whatever. Have some of these on hands when everyone else sits down to snack, give her snack to her (even a mundane one if that is all she has), then give her the treat on the same plate.
So, rather than choc pie that everyone else is having, my girls would get a Yummy Earth lollipop and a polly pocket.
HTH
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SeaStar
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Thank you- these are all *great* suggestions and have given my brain a jump start.
My dd is restricted to 10 g of carbohydrates a day- so low carb cooking is what we do. In addition, she cannot have soy. I cook a lot of bacon. Finding creative ways to feed a 4 yo on only ten g carbs total a day is a whole different challenge...
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Martha
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Well it's a lot fo work, but I'd avoid going to any gathering and instead HAVE gatherings at my home. That way, I can control the good served.
As for what I'd serve...
I'd make it less about food and more about being festive.
IOW, I'd just cut the foods not allowed rather than sweating up alternatives and go for making the spread festive. dig out the fancy dishes and china, serve on the nicest platters, drink out of wine glasses, candles, cloth napkins, decorated placemat/table clothe - the whole 9 yards.
And I'd reduce the number of food commitments to reduce the stress. Which really we do during the holidays anyways to reduce expenses and stress. I'd rather have just 2 or 3 big events with complete festive grand style than be running ragged to lots of events and trying to figure out how to compensate at all of them.
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I like those thoughts, Martha. Also hosting gives you the power to choose the time...so you could make it mid-afternoon, so no food expected. For my son's birthday parties, I serve to everyone what he can eat.
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SeaStar
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JennGM wrote:
| I like those thoughts, Martha. Also hosting gives you the power to choose the time...so you could make it mid-afternoon, so no food expected. For my son's birthday parties, I serve to everyone what he can eat. |
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I normally do that, also- but the one thing my ds wanted for his own birthday more than anything was a "non-diet" cake. And since it was his birthday, I got him one. He eats enough low carb food with a good attitude already. My dd has moved on- she got over it in ten minutes while I am still mourning the whole thing. Let that be a lesson to me.
OTOH- at my local Books A Million there was a big bargain bin filled up with Tomie de Paola books- Legend of the Poinsettia, etc. PLus nice Christmas sticker books and other neat books (like Too Many Tamales) that were all marked $1-$3. I was able to stock up with Advent treats.
I don't know if they are doing it at all stores, but if you have one close by it might be worth a look.
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JennGM
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SeaStar wrote:
JennGM wrote:
| I like those thoughts, Martha. Also hosting gives you the power to choose the time...so you could make it mid-afternoon, so no food expected. For my son's birthday parties, I serve to everyone what he can eat. |
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I normally do that, also- but the one thing my ds wanted for his own birthday more than anything was a "non-diet" cake. And since it was his birthday, I got him one. He eats enough low carb food with a good attitude already. My dd has moved on- she got over it in ten minutes while I am still mourning the whole thing. Let that be a lesson to me.
OTOH- at my local Books A Million there was a big bargain bin filled up with Tomie de Paola books- Legend of the Poinsettia, etc. PLus nice Christmas sticker books and other neat books (like Too Many Tamales) that were all marked $1-$3. I was able to stock up with Advent treats.
I don't know if they are doing it at all stores, but if you have one close by it might be worth a look. |
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What great finds!! I don't have a Books-A-Million close by...probably a good thing.
Is this the Body Ecology Diet? I have a friend that is doing that with her family. I'd be happy to ask her for suggestions....
A friend of mine uses Oriental Trading Company catalog for inspiration, and makes up her own kits and crafts like the ones they have.
Does your daughter like crafting and needlework? I'd totally foster that. Klutz books with the kits like the [ur;=http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1570548706/familyfoodfor-20/]Crochet[/url] (which has some really nice cotton yarn, BTW), or http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1579652417/familyfood for-20/">Kids Knitting and ">Kids Crochet. Foster a needlework habit and then new projects or lovely yarns, new hooks or needles, etc. would be great to give. I had so much fun picking out yarns for my niece to help her learn crochet...graduating from finger crochet to the next step. And now I'm teaching my son.
BTW, the aforementioned ">Kids Crochet has instructions on how to finger crochet, and then goes on with those steps. MarilynW's daughter recommended the book and I quite agree!
Then there's art supplies, new notebooks, post-it pades, pencils...
And then Dover Publications. Sign up for the newsletter to get all the specials.
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Angie Mc
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Tough one, Melinda. Without time to read all the replies, I'll just add something that helped me as an adult when I was off wheat, soy, and some other food restrictions for a year. In addition to substituting foods (which I know you are doing) I focused on heightening my other senses besides "taste." Decorations are great for the eyes, as are movies and books. Music, discussion, read alouds, singing, and word games are great for the ears. Candles and essential oils are wonderful for smell. Crafts and personal care are great for touch (hair brushing, back massages, hugs.) Dancing, playing games, and exercise are great for overall well being. For me, the more I focused on the other senses, the more fulfilled I felt on special occasions. Praying for you and your family.
Love,
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JennGM
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Melinda, I also had another thought. Since the Advent and Christmas seasons have so many little and big celebrations throughout, why not work on one big project or gift with each occasion is an addition to it? I guess in my mind I was thinking of something simple like a Nativity set. Start with the stable or something and then each celebration, add a piece. It doesn't need to be expensive, but it's something to gradually add and look forward to.
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MElinda, I don't know how low carb this is, but have you tried Agave Nectar? I know a number of ladies on my PCOS boards have tried that. I've never done so, so I don't know the amounts, etc, for sure.
I'm terribly sorry you all are having to deal with this...
((HUGS)) for your wee one.
Rachel
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Wow, this is a tough one. Lots of interesting suggestions so far!
I can think of a couple possibilities, though I don't know if they work:
If dd can have carrots or other raw veggies, maybe put out "reindeer snacks" instead of cookies, and leave some "extra" for St. Nick's reindeer?
For Dec. 12, if dd can have chicken, maybe some grilled chicken, green pepper/onion/other veggie kabobs, (like fajitas without the tortillas) with perhaps some homemade low-carb salsa for dipping? And maybe some fresh lime slices (very thin) added to her water?
In place of hot chocolate or apple cider, some herbal teas like peppermint? (This might be a good time for a tiny bit of the artificial sweetner, but if she likes the taste without it so much the better). A special Christmas mug or "tea for one" set that's all hers might make this more fun.
In place of candy canes on the Christmas tree, make some paper canes and write a "secret message" on the back. DD can have fun pulling one off each day for messages like "one free hug from mommy!" or "you may pick a short video to watch!" or "let's play a board game--Daddy too!" etc.
These are things the whole family could do together, which might make things a little easier for her.
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SeaStar
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I picked up a copy of Christmas Crafts from Around the World today and found several great ideas.
One I know we will do is make pillowcases. In Australia, the kids leave pillow cases at the ends of their beds on Christmas Eve to be filled with treats. I have tons of Christmas fabric, and the kids love to watch the sewing machine, so we can make special pillow cases to use during the Christmas season. They can pick their own special fabric.
Also, we can try our hand at making our own pinata for Dec 12. The kids love, love, love pinatas- it will be messy and fun to try to make our own.
There is even a spider craft in there from the Ukraine. Ds will love that!
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Celebrating without food
