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ladycarobe
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| Posted: Sept 29 2008 at 8:10am | IP Logged
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Hi ladies,
my 2yo dd is really resisting her naps lately, so I'm afraid she will soon no longer nap  . I have heard some of you mention 'quiet time' for children who no longer nap. I really like that idea  , as I also have a newborn and *I* really need some quiet time.
I don't realy know how to start implementing 'quiet time'. Can someone explain the particulars to me? Do you require your children to stay in bed? in their room? Can they play?
My 4-soon-to-be-5yo dd is used to my undivided atttention during her sisters naps, so I need to sort of sell it to her  . We have a family bed and she is not used to playing in her own bedroom (shared with 2yo, although they never sleep there). If I simply send her there she will feel totally abandoned.
And for my 2yo...the only way to keep her in the bedroom will be to chain her to the bed  .
I was thinking of keeping them in the livingroom with me, putting on an audiobook and requiring them to play quietly, while I try to rest while holding the baby (who is only quiet when she is in my arms)...I'm probably totally unrealistic here . How do you keep them from playing loudly like they do all day..thus making 'quiet time' just a regular part of the day and not 'quiet' at all?
I could really use some advice from you experienced mothers.
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best wishes,
Ladycarobe.
mom to dd6 , dd4  and dd2 and pregnant.
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: Sept 29 2008 at 9:56am | IP Logged
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Well, my children are the same ages. My 2 year old will still nap, though, but the way it works for us is this:
Afternoon naptime starts out storytime. I begin with picture books that the two year old likes and progress through the stack to the longer ones or chapter books, and he drifts off as the books get longer. If I need a nap, too, (as I did at the end of the pregnancy), we stop sooner, but my 4 year old was expected to look at books or play quietly on his own while the rest of us napped. We worked up to this, but now my four year old will look quietly at books for some time on his own when I tell him.
It might be harder to enforce with two awake, but I have found that for us reading aloud is an effective transition to "quiet" and looking at books on their own.
ETA:We have a family bed, too, but we recently transitioned the 4yo to a trundle under the bed. Generally, though, he will look quietly at books in the room with me, but he also likes to look at books on the daybed windowseat in the back bedroom that overlooks the yard. He will sometimes look at books and watch birds and squirrels during quiet time, too, by choice.
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Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
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MrsM
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| Posted: Sept 29 2008 at 10:33am | IP Logged
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When we transition to quiet time, the newest "non napper" plays in his/her room. We use a baby gate (obviously, the room is baby proofed as well  ). Usually, a 2yo can handle playing alone for about an hour. I have in the past made a "Mama tape" for them to listen to, and they always love it. On the tape I put things like our address and phone number, I sing songs, I teach them their prayers and things like the fruits of the Holy Spirit. Daddy will also record things, like special stories, etc.
Since we've always done quiet time, it's made it easier. I imagine your 5yo will need the idea presented in a very positive, upbeat way to make it appealing to her. Maybe let her use special art supplies, or read special books that are only for quiet time? And if you decide to make a Mama tape for the 2yo, you definitely want to make a "big girl" Mama tape for the 5yo.
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Mom to darling Elizabeth and Francis, held in Mary's arms and always in my heart
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Servant2theKing
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| Posted: Sept 29 2008 at 10:44am | IP Logged
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We had "siestas". They always took place in our master bedroom, with younger children next to Mama on our king size bed, older children in established spots on blankets or sleeping bags on the floor (bean bags might have been great for that purpose!). Those who were unable to sleep were allowed quiet reading, gentle sounding audio books or lullaby tapes, coloring, or playing with soft toys, and were trained that they must be totally quiet for the sake of those who were sleeping. Whispering all instructions in preparation for quiet times definitely helps set the tone!
It also helps if privileges non-sleepers are allowed during quiet times are saved exclusively for such moments...otherwise a child may not be as content with something that is overused during non-rest times. You might also engage your older child by letting them know they will enjoy a special privilege after the quiet time if they have been cooperative in honoring the need for quiet during such times, such as a special-read-aloud, afternoon snack, etc.
We also started using signals for being quiet when our children were babies, such as a finger to the lips, a soft shhhh, or a hand gesture that represented lowering one's voice.
If you practice such habits faithfully, and train your children from a very young age, they will easily accept this special reprieve as part of their daily routine.
BTW, we had a lock at the top of our bedroom door so littler ones couldn't wander off if Mama was actually able to catch a few moments of precious sleep. If your living room is your only alternative, you might consider one of those play yards with eight sides and allow your 2 and 4 yos to rest inside that safe, quiet zone while you rest with the baby. If you use it only for the quiet times they should be content in their own cozy little haven, especially if they can feather their own little nest with pillows and blankets...perhaps some reserved for those times alone.
Giving the items you use for your quiet times titles that relate to their use for that purpose can enhance your childrens' engagement in the theme...let's get our; "hushabye blanket", "ni-nite nest", "siesta songs", sleepy-time books, etc. We used to make up songs or rhymes, which really helped a lot. "We'll all have fun when siesta's done" comes to mind. (This is actually borrowed from a family favorite, "We'll have fun when the work is done.")
Familiar routine can help a child feel content and secure. Now that our children are much older I miss siestas...they were a sweet, gentle part of our early family days! May you and your children enjoy similar sweet, memorable times together.
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SusanJ
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A special spot and a special toy/activity is probably a good way to go--especially for your older one. My 4yo is very easy, fortunately, but I knew a family with several kids who all had a quiet-time every day. Each kid had a special spot somewhere in the house and special activities that only came out right then--I think the mom kept the rest time in mind when considering gifts at birthdays and Christmas. Kids might go for a special beanbag chair or something.
Good luck. I am so grateful that I so far still have the option to nap most days.
Susan
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mary theresa
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| Posted: Sept 29 2008 at 3:29pm | IP Logged
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My 2.5 yo is resisting naps some days too and I can "feel" her phasing them out. I have been wondering what I will do -- I feel like my life will be over!! I really needed to read this thread -- thank you all.
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Mary Theresa
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Mattie
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I have a 5 yodd, 4 yodd, 2 1/2 yods and a 6 months old...
We have quiet time everyday. The girls split between our bedroom and theirs or the livingroom if baby is sleeping. The rule is you can sleep or read, and Mom doe snot want to hear a thing. ds still naps most days, otherwise he stays in his room with the gate on. I think I might incorporate the books on tape for the one who stays in our bedroom (pretty boring in there!)
We tried quiet play and it did not work because they would not get any rest and the rest of the day would worse for it!
We started with half an hour and went to an hour with 2 minutes added every week. They never noticed anything! I set the timer and when the timer beeps they know they can come down and I know I haven't forgotten and that it is time for me to put my work away
It works great, even if there are a few complains here and there.
Oh, and we start nap/quiet time with a chapter book: Farm Boy at the moment... So they know what is coming next...
i hope this helps!
Mattie
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melanie
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We have reading and rest time every day as well. We use a baby gate to keep the 3yo in place. He can climb it. It took some time of returning him to his room to train him to stay there for the hour, but my 12yo's bedroom is right across the hall and she is great for this. My 8yo and 3yo share a room, so the 3yo gets the bedroom for quiet time and the 8yo gets the school room. The baby and I go upstairs to nap sometimes, other times I will use it for computer time.
The 8yo and 12yo have timers and are supposed to read for 30 minutes, then they can play quietly for 30 minutes if they want to stop reading. My 12yo will often listen to audiobooks during the other 30 minutes while she colors or something. The 3yo has a small box of toys on the top of his closet shelf that is only for this time. (grab bags of cheapie kids meal toys from the thrift store are great for this...novelty!) I also put on music for the 3yo, usually CatChat. Anyway, my kids are ok with it. They wouldn't cry if I stopped doing it, but I *love* this time of the day! And they don't know any different as we have been doing this since my oldest was 6yo.
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ladycarobe
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| Posted: Oct 06 2008 at 12:25am | IP Logged
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Thank you, ladies, for your examples.
Reading how you are having quiet time at your house, gave me a lot of inpsiration.
We have had quiet time for four days now and it is going very well  . I'm very pleased with it.
I keep them all with me in the bedroom, read a chapter from our current read aloud and then put on an audiobook. I got a Pippi Longstocking audiobook from the library, my dd4yo LOVES Pippi, so she is very willing to do quiet time now. I just have to keep her supplied with nice audiobooks . I read or take a little nap myself.
To my amazement the 2yo is falling asleep very well, she is no longer fighting her nap now she knows that we are right beside her and she is not missing any fun.
Thanks!
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best wishes,
Ladycarobe.
mom to dd6 , dd4 and dd2 and pregnant.
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anniemm
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I'm so glad it's going well for you! My kids have all napped up until recently when my 4 year old (!) gave them up. My 2 year old still naps, so I send them in their bedroom at naptime together. The 4 y/o is required to lay down and rest in her bed until her sister goes to sleep (they have bunk beds). Once the 2 y/o is sleeping, the 4 y/o can have some books in bed for half an hour or so. Meanwhile, my 14 mo. old is napping in her own bed. After a while, I let my oldest get up and play quietly while I do whatever I'm doing. Sometimes I'll give her 10-15 min on Starfall.com, which is super exciting to her because the children are never allowed to touch the computer!
I never nap, but those days might come to a quick end now that I am pregnant again and the first trimester just makes me sooo tired. In that case, I might have the 4 year old hang out with me in my bed!
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Andrea
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: quiet time question
