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Vanna
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| Posted: Sept 24 2008 at 10:59am | IP Logged
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girl who is flirting with him. He doesn't even realize it. He is totally clueless. LOL
She is in the orchestra with him and almost every day he comes home and says something like, "Geesh, Sarah kept asking me if her lip gloss looked good." or something similiar. One day it was her hair, one day it was her make-up, etc etc etc.
I asked him what he said about the lip gloss and he said, "I told her I guess it looked ok, if you liked sparkly wet stuff on your mouth."
LOL LOL LOL Seriously. He's about as smooth as his dad. 
Anyway, I've seen this girl and she is totally infatuated with my son. She will literally run across Walmart to say hi to him if she sees him. So my question is, should I let him know that she probably likes him and that is why she is doing all this crazy stuff? He thinks that she is really crazy...he even said, "Does she think I'm some weirdo who likes make-up?" LOL
What would you do?
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Lisbet
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Honestly? I think I would keep him away from this girl! Really I think 12 is far to young for this kind of thing.
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RamFam
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Lisbet wrote:
| Honestly? I think I would keep him away from this girl! Really I think 12 is far to young for this kind of thing. |
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I was thinking the same thing! I'm so glad I have a few years before facing this. I would always be so appalled that people would ask my daughter upon coming home from PRESCHOOL if she had any boyfriends!!!
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folklaur
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I think 12 is too young, too, but not abnormal, either.
Since they are in orchestra together, you can't really "keep her away", can you? Unless you plan on pulling him out of orchestra. And if your son is a handsome one, then you will also have to be sure that he isn't around any groups of girls at all, because there will be others.
If it was me, and my son, I would probably let on that she likes him, just so he knows. (because I have a clueless DH too, and my DH STILL didn't know even in college and beyond when someone was flirting with him. And sometimes it is at least good to be aware of those things.)
But, as usual, I am sure my opinion will be in the severe minority around here. 
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MrsM
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I wouldn't introduce the idea to him, since he hasn't figured it out despite her obvious attempts. It sounds like he isn't ready, which at 12 years old makes sense.
My llyod is also not aware of boy-girl things, and IMO it's one of the blessings of hsing that they can develop at an appropriate pace and not be rushed.
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JodieLyn
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I think I'll chime in with Laura
Perhaps you should tell him.. and also point out that it's not a good thing and give him some ideas for keeping her at arm's length nicely. What those are.. I'm not sure. But I'm thinking it might be nicer both for him and the girl(s) if he has a bit of a clue and can refuse to participate and let the girl(s) know that he doesn't want to participate. Might make it easier on him in the long run to be able to do something to get the girls to back off.
*sigh* I just mentioned to my dh last night that our daughter, at 11, with friends that are older (and also younger) than her, will need us to be addressing some of this stuff before long.
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Vanna
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Oh! I totally agree that 12 is too young. I hope I didn't give the impression that I wanted to encourage this...no, not at all.
I just thought maybe he should know that the girl likes him since he's thinking that she thinks he's into make-up. LOL
I worked at a middle school before I started staying home with the kids (4 years ago). We had five 7th grade girls asking about pregnancy tests. Talk about depressing. I struggle with wanting him to remain innocent and oblivious to all of this and wanting him to at least understand what's happening in our community. Sigh. I'm afraid there is no right answer.
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Michaela
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cactus mouse wrote:
I think 12 is too young, too, but not abnormal, either.
Since they are in orchestra together, you can't really "keep her away", can you? Unless you plan on pulling him out of orchestra. And if your son is a handsome one, then you will also have to be sure that he isn't around any groups of girls at all, because there will be others.
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I'm glad you chimed in, Laura.
I also have a 12yo, who I think is too young for this, but I need to remember that unless I'm locking him in the house until he's older....I better have an idea of how to deal with these type of situations.
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Angi
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I would also tell home so he knows what to look for and give him some ideas how to avoid it.
My dd1 is now homeschooled. Last year she went to public school for kindy. I had to tell her that she is not allowed to kiss or be kissed by anyone other than family until she is married (a girl friend of hers is kissy), and no hugs from boys. She had a boy hug her after school everyday, I told him that he could give her a high 5. It worked fine.
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crusermom
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It is no wonder. We don't do tv - but I was at the peds office and the Disney channel was on. It was all these shows about teenagers and boy/girl stuff. Or being rock stars. Whatever happened to Bugs Bunny?
Depends on the kid. I might be attempted to ignore it. Bringing it to his attention could make him embarrassed. Maybe it would make him flattered and more interested in it. Who knows.
Mary
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stefoodie
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Unless the flirting gets into more dangerous ground (e.g., asking if he'd like to be her boyfriend or inviting him on a date) or she dresses immodestly, I wouldn't give ds more info than he needs right now. I *love* the innocence in kids and would prefer to keep them that way until it's absolutely necessary to say more. With dd it wasn't necessary to go into lots of detail until she was about 15. She's 17 now and understands so much, but we took our time. Just make sure you keep those communication lines open so you don't miss any "clues".
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Barbara C.
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I think I would be tempted to discuss it with him, so that he can maybe gently disillusion the girl. If she is that into him, she might misinterpret something he says or does in his clueless state and before you know it she thinks they're a couple.
You could also consider saying something to the girl's mom. If it were my daughter, I would want someone to tell me. Her mom might be able to diffuse the situation without making your son any the wiser.
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