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mavmama
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| Posted: Aug 20 2008 at 3:45pm | IP Logged
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Let's just say this has not been one of my stellar mothering days. So- after you've said things you don't really mean, and after you've said you are sorry for saying them, what else can be done to fix the damage done?
I remember being hurt by my mother when she was angry. She didn't apologize (or even acknowledge the problem)and I want to do better than that. Can truly being sorry and then being better repair the hurt? Since I didn't have that model, I don't know the answer.
Of course, I will get to confession ASAP, and have prayed for help and healing (for us all). I guess I'm just needing some reassurance that I haven't scarred them for life. Then again, maybe I have.
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Liz
Blessed by 4 wonders
dd11, dd911, ds9, ds8
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Aug 20 2008 at 4:25pm | IP Logged
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Liz,
We all make mistakes and lose our tempers. I definitely do! When this happens, I sit my children down, give a simple explanation of why things went the way they did (with "I" statements, which state how I feel/felt and what I did), an equally simple apology, and a promise to try to do better. It does help - and it's way, way better than pretending that nothing ever happened.
I think it's wonderful, too, to let your children know that going to confession helps you so much. You don't have to share details, of course, but you're setting a great example when you tell them you want to get to confession as soon as possible.
We're all human...don't be too hard on yourself, okay?
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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10 Bright Stars
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| Posted: Aug 20 2008 at 4:32pm | IP Logged
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Liz,
Maybe just try to be "your best" for the rest of the day. Extra cuddles and kisses, a bed time story and I wouldn't dwell on anything if you already said you are sorry. That would probably confuse them more. Just be loving from here on out would be my advice. We all have moments when we lose it and regret it. I was just stressing the other day about the spiritual life. There seems to be so much going on with life, raising little ones, school etc. that I said outloud after I was impatient with one of the kids, "And on top of everything else, NOW I have to worry about going to hell too!" Isn't that funny? I had been reading "Death, Judgement, Heaven and Hell" and was scareing myself to death. The other night a show came on late at night on EWTN about hell and then I was convinced God was trying to "tell me something". Maybe He is, but I thought it was funny that I said that outloud over the kitchen sink as if I didn't have to worry about that before. Anyway, maybe confusing you. YOU are human. We all make mistakes. I often confess being impatient with the kids. You just have to live RIGHT NOW as best you can. The past is in the past and the future isn't here yet. Just do your best RIGHT NOW. 
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Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
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William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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mavmama
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| Posted: Aug 20 2008 at 10:05pm | IP Logged
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The girls are preparing to receive their First Holy Eucharist on Aug. 30th. Late this afternoon it occurred to me that we may be under attack. Is it too "out there" to think that perhaps the evil one is trying to undermine us by causing all this havoc in our family?
It sure feels like something is against us today.
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Liz
Blessed by 4 wonders
dd11, dd911, ds9, ds8
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Aug 20 2008 at 10:24pm | IP Logged
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Nope. Sounds like you are on the right track...St. Michael the Archangel,defend us in battle...
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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TheresaS
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| Posted: Aug 21 2008 at 12:40pm | IP Logged
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mavmama wrote:
| Is it too "out there" to think that perhaps the evil one is trying to undermine us by causing all this havoc in our family? |
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No it's not. We had this recently when our second son made his FHC too, we had a roller coaster of a ride - ugh. On the up side St. Micheal has become a real favourite amongst the children. 
When I blow it like that (and I do) I always appologise. I explain to my older ones, but I don't want to confuse the little ones.
God Bless
Theresa
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: Aug 21 2008 at 12:41pm | IP Logged
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Liz, whenever we feel like we are under some sort of spiritual attack or oppression we look around at what's going on in our family, and sure enough, it usually coincides with something really good. For instance, my dh has made a concerted effort to "be present" to the kids more when he is home. He is also listening to Catholic CD's in the car instead of the radio, and he has started saying his daily rosary again. Along with this, we are getting ready to start another year of homeschooling which has born incredibly good spiritual fruit for our family. Talk about attack! Someone is not happy. We must remember that Jesus already won the battle though. We just say our rosaries with more reverence, make the sign of the cross more often, sprinkle the holy water and say the prayer to St. Michael. I think denying that the the Devil will cause problems is exactly what he wants us to do. Recognizing it, doing what we can to come against it, and claiming the victory of Jesus is what we can and should do. Then we move on and don't give the Devil too much credit!
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mavmama
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| Posted: Aug 21 2008 at 9:41pm | IP Logged
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Becky Parker wrote:
Liz, whenever we feel like we are under some sort of spiritual attack or oppression we look around at what's going on in our family, and sure enough, it usually coincides with something really good.
I think denying that the the Devil will cause problems is exactly what he wants us to do. Recognizing it, doing what we can to come against it, and claiming the victory of Jesus is what we can and should do. Then we move on and don't give the Devil too much credit! |
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So true right now. The day I blew it was the first day of the second half of a 54 day rosary I have been praying with the intention that I can be a better mother. Immediatly I thought, "Well, see, it's not working." I fall so easily into the trap of seeing things as "working or not working", instead of trusting that it's all under control ( not MY control) and that everything is for my good if I but trust and have faith. Last night it was a heavy and not so pleasant conversation with dh about very old stuff. St. Michael, defend us!
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Liz
Blessed by 4 wonders
dd11, dd911, ds9, ds8
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: How do you fix it after you've blown it?
