Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Subject Topic: Questions re: natural child spacing Post ReplyPost New Topic
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Leocea
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Posted: Feb 05 2008 at 9:31pm | IP Logged Quote Leocea

I am wondering if I could get some advice. :-)
My dh and I have been married for 15 1/2 years, and have four children. I am going to be 35 in June.
We have always spaced our children with birth control of various kinds. It took me 6-7 months, at the longest, to conceive, and twice it took two weeks. I always waited until they were at least 3 years old, though, and not nursing much. This was prior to our conversion in February 2006. :-) After much prayer, we decided to let God control our family size. I conceived and then lost the baby at 6.5 weeks. I got pregnant again within a month, and had my youngest, Mary Catherine who will be 2(!) in March.
I am still nursing her, and have had 13 or 14 cycles. I am not temping, but I do observe fertile signs. We are fairly active in our attempts, so I don't think we have missed the right day *every* month, lol. (TMI, sorry!)
My question is, is there anything I can do to increase my odds of conceiving?
This is all about my *own* plans, of course. I see myself with 7-8 children eventually, and this picture looks good to me. I am just starting to count the years, and realize that if they all come 3-4 years apart, I may not have as many as I once thought.
This time is not ALL bad, of course. I have enjoyed my current baby, and my dh and I have had some great talks about adoption. Adoption has always been on my heart, and my dh had always been very opposed. Now, he has brought it up several times.
I also had high blood pressure with my last pregnancy, and have NOT lost the weight I need to lose before I am pregnant again. I had been thinking that God was giving me a chance to get my stuff together, and that I blew it!

I know that everyone has a different scenario, I am just looking for some support.
It seems that many of my like-minded friends are pregnant a lot more often than I am. I am not unhappy for them, but I have this dream of a big family, and we are willing now!
I know that being open to life means being open to God saying no, too.
It seems funny to say, please tell me I'll have another baby one day, lol. I must be more bothered by it than I was thinking.

In Christ,

Leocea

P.S. At the conference, I won a St. Gerard medal, and have worn it every day since. I was thinking that it was a sign, when I won it!


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stacykay
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Posted: Feb 06 2008 at 7:06am | IP Logged Quote stacykay

I don't have any pearls of wisdom, but can share that my dss are fairly spaced out. I nursed with all, and only while nursing ds#5 did I ever get pregnant while nursing. I didn't nurse as a means of spacing, it just happened that my dss loved to nurse! I have many friends who get pregnant easily while nursing. I just haven't been one of those. And now, I haven't nursed since ds#6 turned 1, he will be 4 in June, and no pregnancy in sight. I am going to be...shhhh, 45 , in March.

As for the cycles, I did have "signs" of returned fertility while nursing the older boys, but my temps (which I did for only a short time) showed I really wasn't fertile. They went up and down, but the peaks were really not high enough. I was fortunate to have a great nfp ob who could show me with one glance at my chart what my body was doing (or not doing.)

The only thing I can offer is prayer.

God Bless,
Stacy in MI   
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Leocea
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Posted: Feb 06 2008 at 8:54pm | IP Logged Quote Leocea

Thank you Stacy! The prayers are better than anything else!
I am not sure what I was looking for, just to know that I am not the only one in this situation, I guess. :-)
Being open to life is new to us, and the emotions are new, too.

In Christ,

Leocea
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JodieLyn
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Posted: Feb 06 2008 at 11:04pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

Well as you can tell from my signature line I haven't been there recently.

But it took us a LONG time to get pregnant with our first.

It was decidedly an odd feeling.. since I didn't convert until I was pregnant with our second.

so.. we'd been under the whole if you slip up at all with bc you'll get pregnant and you have to be quite vigilant about it... and then we didnt' get pregnant... and we didnt' get pregnant... really a bizarre feeling.. when you've just come from the mindset that any slip would EQUAL pregnancy.

The only suggestion I would have is to to chart your temps for a bit and see if something shows up that way that you might wish to do something about (for instance very low temps might indicate a thyroid issue which can cause fertility problems) Not that you have to chart and use that information constantly, but just do a month or two to see if there is a problem that you can pinpoint.

Something else very simple is to be sure you're taking some good vitamins (I take prenatals as long as I'm pregnant OR nursing) so that you're not shorting yourself something there.

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Martha
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Posted: Feb 07 2008 at 8:14am | IP Logged Quote Martha

It took my over a year to conceive our first.
Then they came at a pretty decent clip thereafter!
Now our youngest is nearly her 2nd birthday, a birthday no child of mine has ever reached without a baby sibling in the house - until now. one would think I'd enjoy the extended "break" for once, esp considering how hard the hg is, but no... we'd dearly love to have another. we're all rather sad.

As long as you are eating well, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and having relations when the signs look prime, there's not much more you can do to increase the chances. I would go to the ob just to make sure everything is in working order (homrones, pelvic, ect..).

We sure do cherish our little Bridget a bit tighter these days though. After all, she could be our last! I've noticed her siblings seem to be doing the same thing. She gets away with anythng with them. And they latch on to any baby that comes in the room like they've never seen one before too.

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ann@home
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Posted: Feb 08 2008 at 1:09pm | IP Logged Quote ann@home

If you want to really target your fertile days I think temping is the best way to do that. And this way you'd get a better idea of forseeing the target time since they say to "be active" the day before you ovulate.
The "signs" are important too but can be deceiving sometimes.
www.fertilityfriend.com is a free on-line chart if you like that type of thing. I found it helpful when trying to conceive our 3rd child.

Best wishes!

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cathochick
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Posted: Feb 11 2008 at 6:08pm | IP Logged Quote cathochick

Temping will only tell you that ovulation has already occurred, mucus tells you that ovulation is coming.

I'd recommend keeping a complete chart of temps and mucus to see if you're hitting the truly fertile time, if the mucus could be improved and if the luteal phase (the time after ovulation) is long enough to allow for implantation.

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Lisbet
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Posted: Feb 11 2008 at 6:54pm | IP Logged Quote Lisbet

I've not been through what you are describing, it's always been quite opposite for me actually, but, truly, I would say to anyone, on either side of the coin, to relax, enjoy your 'now' family, 'enjoy' your husband whenever the mood strikes rather when the mucus strikes (sorry, that sounds grosser than I intended! ) and give it all to God.

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