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Bridget
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When I was in the hospital after having Maria the nurses were pretty interested in our family size. One of them asked me why homeschoolers seem to have larger families .
I told her I hadn't seen stats to back it up but homeschooling families do seem to have more. I said that I thought it was because the focus is on the home and family instead of the children going in different directions with school activities and friends. In homeschooling families siblings are usually good friends and often learn as a group.
This atmosphere at home probably makes it easier to welcome more children.
Do you think this is accurate? Anyone know of a survey or study that would support this?
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Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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dhbrug
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In think homeschoolers get to know their children better and enjoy their company more. When parents of one or two children say "Two was enough!", homeschoolers generally answer "Enough for what?".
When we homeschool, we do not just do the academics. We learn together as a family and each child is seen for the treasure they are.
I haven't seen studies, but all the Catholic homeschooling families I have seen are open to life not just in a theoretical sense, but truly enjoy family life where children are an integral part.
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dw Lana 89, dd 91, ds 93, ds 96, ds 98, dd 01, dd 04, ds 07
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Laura
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Yes, home schoolers do typically have larger families and the "real world" takes notice. For the past couple of pregnancies and births that I have had the first question a doctor or nurse asks me is: Do you homeschool? Thankfully, when I say yes they usually smile and compliment the home school movement.
They have also taken notice of the fact that not only are our families larger, but that we seem to get along better.
Like me, I am sure that others have commented on how well your children treat one another. Inside I often laugh as we certainly do have our moments, but in general they are right! Our older ones help take care of our younger ones and they talk, work and play together. This blows people away. Isn't that a sad statement of how things are?
Another thing maybe some of you have taken notice of if you are the only homeschooling family in your neighborhood....all the neighborhood kids flock to our house! My husband does not always appreciate this as it can get pretty crazy around here, but I tell him that I am glad our kids are here at home.
Our children truly are our treasures as David stated above and we are truly blessed whether we have one or twelve!
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Laura
wife to Ken and mom to 8 blessings with #9 due July 26,2009
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teachingmyown
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I would question though, if it homeschooling that is the common factor or our Faith (and that of the Protestant homeschoolers) that explains both the large families and homeschooling.
If you were to look at the family size of homeschoolers I think that you would probably find that those of us who homeschool primarily for religious reasons are more open to life. Others who homeschool for other reasons, at least those that I have met, have only a couple of kids. I have met people who homeschool who think that it is unadvisable to have a large family if you homeschool, because then you cannot possibly "get it all done".
One complaint that is leveled every year about the NACHE conference is that there is not childcare or activities, when the large Protestant conferences offer such things. But the majority of those Protestant families have a small number of children.
My point is that I think that the large families are a sign of our Faith and that of some of our Protestant peers that is responsible for the family size. But it is that same openness and love of life that then leads us to want to commit everything we have to those lives and that is why we homeschool.
That being said, society certainly has learned to connect large families with homeschooling. Of course, the next question after "Do you homeschool?" is "Are you Catholic?" 
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Molly
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dhbrug
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Good Point Molly.
Our local "non-denominational" Christian homeschooling group here only has a few larger families (4+ children).
The common thread in the larger families is a combination of homeschooling and true openness to life. Typically that means Catholic. The other two Catholic homeschooling families here have 4+ children. I think homeschooling is more of a symptom of being open to life and taking seriously our duty in raising them in the faith.
We have not encountered the child care "problem" at conferences in Australia as these are designed for the whole family, with Dads and Mums getting involved.
Our finding derived from all the homeschooling families we have met is that the family is homeschooling, 4 or more children and Catholic or Christian there is so much in common we will get along well.
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http://bruggietales.blogspot.com
dw Lana 89, dd 91, ds 93, ds 96, ds 98, dd 01, dd 04, ds 07
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Martha
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Yes, most christian home schooling families are larger than most. I think a good part of it though is simply that they have a tendancy to have better marriages. Whenever someone says, "OH I could NEVER have more than the 1 or 2 I already have!" I always tell them I do not do it alone. There's a trust in our home that many can't imagine having been raised in broken homes or having gone through divorce. They can't imagine being okay being so dependent on another, even if it's the other parent of their children. Home schooling by and large is made up of solid couples who are okay with their roles in the family, rather than burdened with an unwanted chore.
Martha
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Marybeth
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Well, we don't have a large family...just one ds we adopted in 2000. What I love about the larger homeschooling families are their willingness to play and incorporate other kids into their lives so easily. My ds is shy by nature, but we have never encountered a mean homeschooler in the couple years we have been in our group. The kids willing engage my ds and are patient for him to respond and join in the group activities.
I love the homeschooling Moms b/c with larger families they have seen it all-behavior, messes, sick kids, etc. They don't tend to get as flustered. Plus, I love how we can discuss stuff besides kids. I love my ds (waited many years for him to come into our lives) but don't want to talk kids nonstop. The Moms are so willing to discuss other ideas, current events, the Church, etc.
In my local Moms group, they talk unceasingly about preschools, sleep habits, clothes, favorite kid tv shows....I just want to say....what about us? How are we Moms doing today?
I just learn so much from the larger families. These Moms in my group have become very dear to me.
Just my 2 cents.
Marybeth
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Willa
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I know that when my kids were in Catholic school (up to grades 2, K and pre-K and I also had a toddler) I found it SO hard to juggle everything. It was hard even to deal with the 4 kids I already had. There's so much involved in parenting a kid who is going to school, especially a small Catholic school where they rely a lot on parent involvement and volunteer work (you get that in league sports too, but you can choose your commitments and there's not so much involved day in day out).
The money involved in sending a child to a good school also makes it difficult to consider having a large family. I met nurses in San Francisco who told me they would love to have another child but just couldn't afford it. THey were financially stressed and pretty much forced to have 2 incomes just because of the two or three kids they already had in private school.
I don't know as much about public school but from my childrens' exposure to league sports I imagine that even "free" public schools bring lots of incidental expenses and certainly a drain on one's time. If my kids were in ps up here I'd have a college student, 2 high schoolers, 1 middle schooler, 1 grade schooler, 1 special needs pre-Ker and 1 toddler. The amount of work I'd have to do to nurture them all in those circumstances would be absolutely immense.
So I think there are two things going on:
1, the type of family that homeschools is more likely to like kids and enjoy them and WANT to have a houseful, and
2, homeschooling makes it easier and more do-able emotionally and financially in this day and age to have more than 1.7 kids or whatever the statistical average is nowadays
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Willa
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MEBarrett
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This is only my second year of homescooling so my children were in school for a time. Ryan, because of his autism, attended public school and Katie attended Catholic school. Erin did as well for Pre-k.
I think it would be difficult to have a large family (even though we were) with children in school because of the expense and time commitments. The public school did a fine job with Ryan in that they had a great deal of expertise that I did not. He was getting speech therapy and OT and PT that really helped him a great deal. Ryan was non-verbal until he was almost four and I don't know that I would have had the expertise to help with that. He went to a special ed private school for two years to ready him for kindergarten and I have to tell you it made a world of difference. It gave me the confidence to bring him home because the biggest obstacle was already overcome.
The problems with having a large family and doing school.
The biggest was the bus. Catholic and public school the bus is the seventh circle of hell. From a driver who keeps the kids quiet in the morning by listening to Howard Stern on the radio (nice language and questions come home) on the way to Catholic school. To a bully on the bus who had unlimited access to the internet and would share his printed out porn (public school).
Number two biggest problem. THe four o'clock crazies. Now there are a lot of people who would probably handle this better than I did but in my house this was death of all pleasantness. Ryan, in third grade, would come home with a minimum of two hours of homework. Katie in first would only have an hour. The baby was so fussy at this time, soccer practice or dance class had to be fit in as well as getting a meal on the table. From four until six my hosue was a stressful, chaotic nightmare. Every child you add to that mix makes the chaos worse.
Number three, expense. Here in NY Catholic school tution is getting exhorbitant. There is no tution for public school but there is a rare day that goes by that a check for something isn't required to go back to school in the backpack.
Number four, volunteer requirements. Huge in the Catholic school. Not as bad in public but you are also subject to the lobbying from the PTA and teachers unions when election time rolls around. the teachers union wields great power in NY because public school parents are afraid to vote against them and rock the boat with the teachers.
Is this long enough yet?
Having a large family might be daunting under these circumstances. It was for me. My priority was more babies so out of school the kids came.
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Mary Ellen
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Erin
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dhbrug wrote:
Our local "non-denominational" Christian homeschooling group here only has a few larger families (4+ children).
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Here in our town most of our support group is Protestant Christian (only two Catholic families) And I would say our average is much higher than that. Most families have at least five and one has seven. (One Catholic family has ten and the other is me!)
I find my Christian friends are very open to life and very anti contraception. It is lonely for them actually because many are the lone voice in their Church (then again so are we, although older people support us-those in their seventies)
One friend gets really annoyed if people ask 'are you Catholic'  She feels Catholics don't have the monopoly on large families and following God's teaching.
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Bridget
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I think more and more Protestants in the homeschooling world are embracing the Biblical concepts of openess to life, children are always and only a blessing in the Bible. The good example of families like this one are going a long way towards encouraging others to be generous with God. I would love to find web sites of large Catholic families on the web. The internet is a powerful tool!
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Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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teachingmyown
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People think I am crazy when I say that I think it is easier to homeschool with all of these children rather than sending them off to school. But, honestly, I can't imagine getting them all together, lunches, hair, shoes, etc. every morning and then dealing with the tiredness and homework every evening.
I know large families who do this, so I know it can be done, just not by someone like me. I have to institute rules like no lunch in your pajamas and breakfast is not served at 11:50 am, ten minutes before lunch! (For some reason, my children feel very strongly that they must eat "breakfast food" before eating lunch, no matter how close to lunch it is. ) Yeah, we are way too relaxed for that school thing!
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Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
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KToste
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Molly,
I can totally relate to your post! My oldest is a night person and not into getting up before 10am (if I'm lucky) and the school bus at 6:45am would be totally out of the question. We have 5 children and all my non-homeschooling friends are 'amazed' that I have them all at home all day. I, in turn, are amazed that they can get their children UP and out of the house before 8am and deal with 2-4 hours of homework after school. My oldest did 1st grade in PS and it was a nightmare for her to decompress from 4-6pm and then try to get hw done after that and get her into bed in order for her to get up, eat and get on the bus before 8am. At the time I only had one in K and a newborn. HSing is definately easier for me with all these children. Yes, messier, but the children have to learn home ec sometime! 
Karen, dh Frank and 5 Blessing at home with me ALL the time!
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Kelly
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teachingmyown wrote:
People think I am crazy when I say that I think it is easier to homeschool with all of these children rather than sending them off to school. But, honestly, I can't imagine getting them all together, lunches, hair, shoes, etc. every morning and then dealing with the tiredness and homework every evening.
I know large families who do this, so I know it can be done, just not by someone like me. I have to institute rules like no lunch in your pajamas and breakfast is not served at 11:50 am, ten minutes before lunch! (For some reason, my children feel very strongly that they must eat "breakfast food" before eating lunch, no matter how close to lunch it is. ) Yeah, we are way too relaxed for that school thing! |
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Oh, I couldn't agree more! I always say that homeschooling is for lazy people (like me...) Even though we all know the stress and effort of homeschooling can be immense, the stress and effort of getting all the kiddies off to school, parent-teacher organizations, school involvement etc etc etc makes this lazy bum's back ache just thinking about it! Maybe it's because it's all to other people's specs and timelines--and what a loathsome thought that is---, but I'm with you on this one. That being said, when people ask me about the inevitable question of "socialization" and homeschooling, I have to admit that my kids have a great social life, but *I* have no social life  Maybe that's the tradeoff!
On the subject of homeschooler's having larger family, this VERY day I was picking up fruit and veggies at a nearby fruitstand, buying peaches by the basket, boxes of tomatoes for pasta sauce and so on. Just out of the blue, the vendor asked me if we homeschooled! And I only had one child with me! When I asked him how he knew, he just looked wise and said, "I can always tell". Hmmm...do we smell or something? Look especially dishelved? Well, I was wearing riding clothes, so maybe the smelly part applies...
Kelly in FL
Kelly in FL
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Do HS'ers have larger families?
