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LisaR
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| Posted: Sept 25 2007 at 8:18am | IP Logged
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Hi, I had been warned this might happen, but it is getting tiring and I am not sure what to do!!
Oldest ds, 14, is really blossoming around 10-11pm at night- and even later!! He is going to Catholic High School ,and after all the other kids are asleep, and homework is done, he likes to chat about his day, sports, etc. I am so thrilled that he wants to tell us everything!! and that he seems to be at his happiest at this time, but then getting up and going in the early morning with littles and having ANY time alone to myself or alone with dh is totally gone!!
Gone are the days when the house was quiet at 8pm, and dh and I would have a few hours to get things done, have a in house date night, etc.
Any suggestions??
DS is doing great himself setting his own alarm and getting up plenty early for school (we only live 2 1/2 miles away so that helps)
It is me that can't keep up this pace, but I hate to lose out on this time.
Have you been there, done that??
What works? do I need to take an afternoon nap 
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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MicheleQ
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| Posted: Sept 25 2007 at 11:39am | IP Logged
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LisaR wrote:
Gone are the days when the house was quiet at 8pm, and dh and I would have a few hours to get things done, have a in house date night, etc.
Any suggestions?? |
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You're right Lisa - gone are the days! 
My advice is get used to it, roll with it, set limits (bed by midnight) and realize that eventually they will all be grown and gone and you will have quiet in the evenings again. At least that's what I keep telling myself. (just kidding!)
I tried for a time with my oldest two to change this but I see now that it's really quite natural and the time they want to spend talking is invaluable. It has really helped our relationship in the older years.
Look at it this way; they keep you up at night when they are babies and again when they are teenagers. Cycle of life. Smile and have another cup of coffee. 
Oh and yes on the nap - afternoon naps are a wonderful thing!
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Michele Quigley
wife to my prince charming and mom of 10 in Lancaster County, PA USA
http://michelequigley.com
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folklaur
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| Posted: Sept 25 2007 at 11:40am | IP Logged
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Well, I can tell you that my oldest dd17, is a night owl, like me.
I really hated losing that time at night too, when all was quiet, dh & I could spend some time together, etc. I don't take naps well ( I wake feeling horrible) so that isn't an option for me.
But now....now this same child is going to be 18 in a few weeks...and plans to leave for college many states away in what is really just a few months....10 to be exact.
So - looking back - did I sometimes "resent" it when I felt she was taking "my time?" Well, yeah, I kinda did. Am I glad I still spent the time with her? Yes, because soon she will be gone, and I wouldn't want to have missed that special time of bonding that we shared. This is just another stage, (like night feedings of babies/toddlers, I guess) that will be over soon. Remember those sweet moments in a quiet house while you nursed a tiny one? And how precious they are in your mind? These moments with your teen - when they will talk and share - are like that - they are precious moments - and will be gone all too soon.
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LisaR
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| Posted: Sept 25 2007 at 11:42am | IP Logged
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["My advice is get used to it, roll with it, set limits (bed by midnight) and realize that eventually they will all be grown and gone and you will have quiet in the evenings again. At least that's what I keep telling myself. (just kidding!)"
yes, it is actually fairly enjoyable to visit with this semi-adult in the quiet of the evening. Dh and I are just marvelling at this big kid we have now!! I would hate to squelch this- just feel like I am paying for it in the a.m. 
Mom might just need to take a quiet time herself every afternoon, and...dh and I might have to get more creative about our time as well.
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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MicheleQ
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| Posted: Sept 25 2007 at 11:51am | IP Logged
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cactus mouse wrote:
| I don't take naps well ( I wake feeling horrible) so that isn't an option for me. |
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Laura,
I read somewhere that for a nap to be effective and not leave you groggy you need to sleep for no more than 20 minutes or no less than 90 minutes. I have found this to be true. Sometimes 20 min. is all I need and sometimes I need that hour and a half. But if I get 45 min. or so I usually feel pretty groggy the rest of the day.
Of course this may not at all be helpful but I thought I'd throw it out there.
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Michele Quigley
wife to my prince charming and mom of 10 in Lancaster County, PA USA
http://michelequigley.com
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LisaR
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| Posted: Sept 25 2007 at 12:03pm | IP Logged
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yes, I set the timer for about 25-30 min. If I'm going to fall asleep all the way, it takes me about 5 min anyway, and I figure I end up with 20min. But mentally, just putting my feet up on the bed can make me feel more rested...
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: Sept 25 2007 at 12:18pm | IP Logged
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I am dealing with this and a 10 year old!! Thanks for putting it all in perspective ladies--though I have a little longer to get through than Lisa He truly doesn't need more sleep and with homeschooling I let him sleep in til 9am. With his little sister at me all day the only time we spend together is me making him do schoolwork and this just balances it all out....
Anne
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: Sept 25 2007 at 1:24pm | IP Logged
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My oldest son does this and still manages to get up at 6 AM to be at work by 6:30 AM.
He's usually working in the shop though but seems to want to have long conversation with me late at night. We're both usually up, so it's good timing because dh has to go to bed to get up for work also. But then he'll go back to the shop and I usually have to tell him to put up the tools so the neighborhood can sleep.
He turns 20 this Saturday, thus leaving the teenage years behind. 
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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SallyT
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| Posted: Oct 11 2007 at 8:29pm | IP Logged
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I love this topic -- my almost-14yo is the same way (actually she kind of always has been). Often I'm so tired when she comes bouncing in wanting to chat, but both my husband and I do really enjoy the time alone with her. She does a lot for us around the house -- right now she's putting the little kids in the tub, voluntarily, which is why I have time to sit down! -- and I figure that our being available to listen and talk to her is our deposit into the joint account that is our relationship with each other.
Sally
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Teens Up Late at Night??
