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Lisbet
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| Posted: Sept 20 2007 at 12:42pm | IP Logged
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Or, rather, men.
Yesterday I was at the grocery store with just the baby, snug in the sling. The cashier asked me how the other children were with the new baby. (I am a regular there!) The bag boy (a grown man!) asked me how many children I had now and I responded with a smile, "9".
He then says "WOW! Your husband must be one happy man!!" I get a bit puzzled and say "Yes, he is, but why do you say that?" To which he says "Well you obviously put out alot." 
How's that for inappropriate???
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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kingvozzo
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That's just icky. I think I would have been compelled to say something to the manager... 
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Noreen
Wife to Ed
Mom to 4 great kids and 10 sweet ones in Our Lady's arms
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teachingmyown
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Yeah, that would warrant a complaint. Except, then you have the embarrassment of repeating his comment.
That's about the rudest comment I have heard! 
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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Sarah
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That is disgusting. He deserves to be reprimanded.
I once had a dirty old man put his hand on my back when I was pg and say, " I know what you've been doing!"
Yuck. . . weirdos.
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Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
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Elizabeth
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Seven moths after my last miscarriage, I went to confession on what would have been my baby's due date. I told the priest how desperately I still wanted a baby. He replied, "Seven kids and you're still trying? Your poor husband. Why don't you leave the poor guy alone?"
Molly, you're right--when people say things that are so rude, particularly in a situation where they are professionally inappropriate, we should complain. But I didn't--because I would have had to repeat the whole thing.In hindsight, I guess I should have said something.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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teachingmyown
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Elizabeth,
That is so hurtful that it is just unbelievable! Comments are bad enough from rude strangers. But to have a priest dismiss your feelings and be so cruel, that is heartbreaking. I can't imagine he was even trying to be funny. Just downright mean.
What has happened to the beauty and sacredness of the marital act, and the desire for the fruits of that union? Why is it something to be smirked at and mocked, even by a priest in the confessional? It is so sad.
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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Lisbet
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I considered saying something, but I was pretty dumbfounded. I had a hard enough time repeating it to my husband. He said he might say something. (good grief we spend enough money in this store! LOL!) I will add that this man is a tad, um, 'off'. But I don't think that excuses his remark.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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joann10
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I know that my husband would be marching right in there and giving them a piece of his mind.
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KackyK
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Some people are really so oblivious to what they are saying.
How many times have we all been asked...by total strangers and even relatives (note I didn't say friends, since we all seem to attract each other, we don't say these sorts of things to each other :-)..."so are you going to try for any more?" I think that one is embarassing...especially with kiddos in earshot. I feel like saying, "and what are you doing tonight with your spouse" but ofcourse I don't because that would be RUDE! They are the same type of question. Very frustrating.
And like Elizabeth, I too had a priest in confession (face to face nonetheless) say something off about family size but slightly different...he started, while I was confessing, to start up a conversation unrelated to what I was confessing...like "oh so you have a lot of children, how many"...then he moved to (mind you I'm sitting there waiting to continue with my confession) "what does your husband do for a living? Must be a good job to afford all of those children. Do you have a big house?" What is that??
I told a good friend of mine about this and she asked where the priest was from, (I was visiting a different parish here in NoVA because my cousin was being confirmed and I was her sponsor)...when I told her he was a priest in DC, and I think in fact from Georgetown U...she said...well there ya go!
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KackyK
Mom to 8 - 3 dd, 5ds & 4 babes in heaven
Beginning With the Assumption
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Lisa R
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Oh my goodness. I don't even know what to say. That's so RUDE! And yes, my dh would be over there in a minute!
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God Bless!
Lisa, married to my best friend, Ray and loving my blessings Joshua (17)and Jacob(15), Hannah(7) and Rachel (5)!Holy Family Academy
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doris
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That's such an astonishingly ignorant remark! (As well as being incredibly rude and inappropriate.) Does this guy think that all those people with small families aren't having s*x??
As for the remark in the confessional, well, that is horrendous. That priest's bishop really should know about it. He is probably saying similar things to lots of people, some of whom may not know to just ignore him...
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Home educating in London, UK with dd (2000) ds (2002), dd (2004), ds (2008) and dd (2011).
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Red Cardigan
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Do call the store manager and complain. Some things very definitely cross the line, and the manager should be informed.
I've only got three children, but since they're close in age I had a checker at a grocery store be particularly rude to me once; I called the manager, who was horrified and promised to talk to the employee.
I know we should be charitable, but I've always wished I would have actually said these things on a few occasions:
To the "Boy are your hands full" comment: Well, they never feel full to me without my .38!
To the "Better you than me!" comment: I couldn't agree more!
To the "Are you going to try for a boy?" comment: No, my artificial ovaries can only produce girls--and how insensitive of you to remind me of the fact.
To the "Haven't you figured it out yet?" comment: You mean, eventual demographic domination? Oh, wait, my bad; that's a secret.
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Erin
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Lisa
I would certainly ring the manager and just tactfully'suggest that they need to do some instore training of appropriate behaviour and conversation when on the job.  We need to start 'educating the community'.
Red Cardigan wrote:
To the "Haven't you figured it out yet?" comment:
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Well I finally had my 'say' yesterday. I had an telemarketing call for a holiday resort. Before he started his spiel I broke in,
"Well how many is this holiday for?"
the salesman replies, '4' well I told him that ruled us out as we were a family of nine. He returned that they could cater for us we would have to take two packages, for the price of two of course. I told him when they decided to cater for large families as we were an untapped market I would be interested and in fact to call me back and I would help him market his 'package' as I had many friends with families the size of mine or more. I finally tipped him over the edge,
"you have SEVEN children and all your friends do too??, Don't you all know what causes it?"
I rejoin, "We most certainly do " Well that certainly stopped him  he got off the phone very quickly at that point.
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Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
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KC in TX
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Erin, that's awesome!
Elizabeth and Lisa, how horrible. I'm so sorry for both of you to have to go through something like that. Sheesh!
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KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
Mama to LB ('98)
Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
Jordan ('05)
And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
The Cabbage Patch
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Elizabeth
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KackyK wrote:
I told a good friend of mine about this and she asked where the priest was from, (I was visiting a different parish here in NoVA because my cousin was being confirmed and I was her sponsor)...when I told her he was a priest in DC, and I think in fact from Georgetown U...she said...well there ya go!
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Nope. This guy is alive and well in Arlington. it's just one of those things, I'm afraid. The Church is perfect. The people in it are not.
The clergy is not always above the anti-large family sentiment. And I've learned that there are priests, who, like the bag boys, really benefit from the witness of solid Catholic families who don't pick and choose which teachings to embrace.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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LisaR
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these reasons are why I don't "do" the large family dialogues when my kids are present. If someone asks me about my family size (rather small, I think ) I don't do the witty comebacks. I always change it to another question. Example said to Lisa: "Wow, your dh must be a very happy man!" my reply "yes he is, do you have kids?" response "yeah, I have two" my response "that's great, kids are fun most of the time, and they grow up so quickly!- thanks for bagging the groceries- come along kids!"
I HATE HATE HATE the "don't you know what causes that?" and other quips.
I will even totally change the subject if I have to . But I never want my kids to feel like they are a freak show.
If I were to reply with a witty comeback, somehow I feel as if I am in defensive mode, or in a way giving in to the idea that yes, we are abnormal. I like to act as if whether you have 10 kids or 2, kids are great, aren't they? and it totally changes the tone.
so sorry for all of the bad experiences!
Praying for that Priest especially, he must be a very sad person.
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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marianne
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LisaR wrote:
these reasons are why I don't "do" the large family dialogues when my kids are present. If someone asks me about my family size (rather small, I think ) I don't do the witty comebacks. I always change it to another question. Example said to Lisa: "Wow, your dh must be a very happy man!" my reply "yes he is, do you have kids?" response "yeah, I have two" my response "that's great, kids are fun most of the time, and they grow up so quickly!- thanks for bagging the groceries- come along kids!"
I HATE HATE HATE the "don't you know what causes that?" and other quips.
I will even totally change the subject if I have to . But I never want my kids to feel like they are a freak show.
If I were to reply with a witty comeback, somehow I feel as if I am in defensive mode, or in a way giving in to the idea that yes, we are abnormal. I like to act as if whether you have 10 kids or 2, kids are great, aren't they? and it totally changes the tone.
so sorry for all of the bad experiences!
Praying for that Priest especially, he must be a very sad person.
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Very wise, Lisa!
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JEJE
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Red Cardigan wrote:
To the "Haven't you figured it out yet?" comment: You mean, eventual demographic domination? Oh, wait, my bad; that's a secret. |
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Seriously though, I am so sorry you had to put up with that bagger. I would have been very uncomfortable. Thank goodness your other children weren't there!
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Jenica - Blessed mom of:
 - 11  - 8 - 5  - 1
Remembering Leo born into heaven 7/06
The Rosemary Farm
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juststartn
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Red Cardigan wrote:
To the "Haven't you figured it out yet?" comment: You mean, eventual demographic domination? Oh, wait, my bad; that's a secret.
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We refer to it as the "H----- World Domination Plan" (DH is one of 13....).
Of course, thanks be to God, it appears that DH has become reconciled with the stance of the Church on the openness to life (can I just say it made me "cry for happy" as my dd calls it, when I read that email??). So maybe we will help things along a bit more (most of his sibs married late and as such simply didn't have the opportunity for dc...or couldn't conceive/carry...its very sad....
Rachel
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Married DH 4/1/95
Lily 3/11/00
Helena(Layna) 5/23/02
Sophia 4/19/04
John 5/7/07
David 5/7/07
Ava Maria, in the arms of Jesus, 9/5/08
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CAgirl4God
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oh my!! that is so inappropriate.
but aside from that....if you have nine kids, technically you may have only p*-**t nine times... that is NOT that much imho LOL.
wonder what that guys marriage looks like if he thinks nine times is alot. LOL
my favorite...."we are trying to out number the rude people. so far we are doing a great job don't you think??"
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Jamie, married to John
JC, Nugget, Christina & Judy
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: GRRR...Bags Boys
