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doris
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There's an exhibition on in February next year that I would love the dc to go to (Tutankhamen -- sp??). But it's two weeks after the baby's due, so I'm certainly not going to be dragging three children + newborn up to London on the Underground.
I mentioned this to dh, who totally floored me by saying, 'Well, when are you going to be back to normal?' I was a bit taken aback but realised that the comment sprang from his general concern about how I'm going to cope with home ed and a newborn (given that our babies are what I used to think of as high maintenance -- never liking to be put down -- and now try to think of as a healthy and normal!)
I don't expect to be lying in bed for weeks on end, but neither do I envisage chasing around for at least a month. What about you?
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mellyrose
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My new pediatrician recommends staying as close to home as possible for at least the first month, preferably 2.
I definitely seriously limited my time outside the house for the first month or so. For me, though, it was important to establish a good breastfeeding routine for me and the babe and that was easiest in my own home.
I did send my boys to zoo camp 2 weeks after L's expected due date, but that only meant I had to go pick them up each afternoon for a week. Even now at 4 months, our outings are much longer than in the past because I stop to nurse as necessary.
If it was a really cool exhibit (AND I had help to wrangle the older kids), I would probably plan to go. I wouldn't go if I didn't have extra help most likely.
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MarilynW
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I am at 7 weeks pp and would definitely not be able to take all my kids on the metro into the city. I am still way too tired (and I am usually the type A sort) - I will go to the beach next week for a couple of days - but dh is driving. I am not lying around in bed - but I am trying to not put too much on myself - I know when I have 
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teachingmyown
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There is a big difference between coping at home and hitting the town with kids and a newborn! Other than Mass, I don't leave the house for at least two weeks, and then it is only the necessary things like kids' activities.
My mom comes and stays for about a week and she is a stickler for the old way of doing things. The new mother doesn't drive, go up stairs or really do much of anything for the first couple of weeks.
It isn't healthy for a newborn to be out in public places either. So, you can use that as an excuse! 
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folklaur
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Oh, dear. 2 weeks? I know I would never be able to do it. I mean, at 2 weeks pp I am happy to actually get out of pajamas each day - and don't always manage that...  But I do recover slowly (as each time I have been violently sick for the previous 9 months...and this last time I had complications that kept me in bed for weeks after...so maybe I am not a good judge?
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MaryM
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My midwives stress not going out for two weeks - generally in bed as much as possible and taking it easy. Then still minimal activity and making sure to not overexert self for 6 weeks minimally. With my first two babies I thought I was supermom and wanted to show the world how "normal" it was to jump right back into everything. With the last two and midwife care I realize the great wisdom in a real babymoon and being cared for by others during that time.
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Lisbet
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I have alot to say about this very subject, but very little time right now. I promise to come back to this later today when things are more settled.
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Angel
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Well,I'm almost at 2 weeks right now, recovering from a C-section, and am feeling the effects of even doing a little too much.
I do try to take the first 6 weeks easy, even if I'm not lying in bed, and we don't get the baby out anywhere until 3 or 4 weeks. As far as excursions go... even if I was feeling better, at 2 weeks my babies are usually nursing very, very frequently, which would make it hard to take everyone on a complicated trip.
--Angela
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J.Anne
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16 months. That's when I start feeling better about life.
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MarieC
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J.Anne wrote:
| 16 months. That's when I start feeling better about life. |
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This cracked me up!
Seriously though...I usually get pretty much back to my normal stuff quickly. BUT...I don't know that this is the best thing to do....I bleed forever!
My 3rd child was born in February and the ped. and dh had me really concerned about exposing her to flu/RSV. The winter b/f her birth was a horrible year for both and dh was working clinically at the time and saw lots of sick babies. We stayed home almost completely for 6 weeks (except for Sunday Mass) and in hindsight it was wonderful.
I've had five easy deliveries and I think I'm probably kind of prideful in my ability to bounce back. While I can be up, out and about, I don't know that I should.
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Lisbet
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That's just it Marie! While we may 'feel' that we could be up and about, is that really the best thing??
Yesterday was our first day out, (besides Sunday mass) I actually ran into Marie and a few of her darling children at Target! :) Dh had all the other children out of town at a parade. Mark and I went shopping. Physically, I feel wonderful!!!! BUT, We stepped out into that store, the sights, smells, noise, heat, etc... It was all so glaringly harsh!! I REALLY didn't feel comfortable being out, why oh why did I take baby and myself out of our serene nest into the big noisey world?
Before he left yesterday, I mentioned to my husband that I was begining to feel like the 'outcast' family member. He looked almost sad and disappointed at me when he replied "Wow, I was hoping that you felt protected and peaceful." After I went out shopping, I totally got what he ment!
I think we are made to feel like we should just bounce right back into our 'normal' life, but the truth is with each new soul in our family we have to really look at what is 'normal' and important. These first few postpartum weeks are so precious and fleeting. They really should be treasured and cherished rather than rushed! :)
I hope this made an once of sense, my brain has been stepping out on me alot lately!
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Nina Murphy
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I totally agree with Laura and Jennifer! (And seriously, I've hemorraghed 2 wks. postpartum getting up and trying to get out, so I'm always a little cautious.)
I do not feel "back" til 3 months postpartum and certainly not BALANCED until about 1 year.  But that's just moi. You may be amazing!
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MarieC
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Lisbet wrote:
| Yesterday was our first day out, (besides Sunday mass) I actually ran into Marie and a few of her darling children at Target! :) |
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We were so thrilled to see you! And for all those who've just seen the pictures of Mark....he's even cuter and more precious up close!
The children who weren't with me were pretty bummed...said their sister was "gloating" about it!
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MaryMary
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I always find that I WISH I could stay cocooned with my new babe for a month or so, but I do much better MENTALLY if I slowly start back into my routines as soon as I can (and by routines I mean everything except cooking dinner...I will accept meals made for me until my babies are 18 years old thankyouverymuch!) Now, don't get me wrong going out alone with all of the children is NOT something I would attempt for a couple of months, but I get the "blues" badly if I don't start into some semblance of a normal routine as soon after birth as I feel strong enough. I really don't do well with change, and even though a new baby is the very best kind of change, I get very weepy and depressed if I'm lying around in my p.j's all day. I am also a very visual person, so seeing a lot of mess around me "messes" with my brain and adds to my feeling overwhelmed. I also feel A LOT of guilt, guilt that my hubby is doing so much more, guilt that my friends who have bigger families than I are making meals for me, guilt for my mother's incessant help, guilt for not being there for the older children. I feel better not being served. I feel better when I do. And as much as I try to convince others to be so gentle with themselves for as long as they need after birth...I have a hard time following my own advice.
Anyway, all of this to say, dear Elizabeth, do be kind to yourself and do only as much as you feel ready, WHEN you feel ready!
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SusanJ
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You probably get the point by now--but I would say staying as quiet as possible for at least two weeks. My midwife wanted me to have full-time help (mostly in the person of my husband) for two full weeks post-partum. Then it was definitely a good six weeks before I felt anything like "normal" after that.
A friend from West Africa just had a baby here and when I suggested she take it easy for six weeks she looked at me, horrified. Her mother came to town for a three-month stay and my friend had no intention of doing much of anything until then (this was her first baby).
The more you rest, the faster you will recover. It is so worth it to take the time at the beginning. Can your midwife or doctor put resting instructions in writing for your husband? My dh really needs that kind of concrete reminder.
Susan
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hylabrook1
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My OB has told me to spend the first week home as if I were "sick in bed". For the next week I can go up/down stairs one trip per day (down in the morning and spend the day on the main floor; up for bed at night). No driving until the baby is 3 weeks old. I know that sounds very specific and maybe to some it sounds "dictatorial", but that is never his outlook. I think that when you tell someone who feels newly lightened of the weight of baby in utero to "take it easy", she may interpret that in many ways, some of which could be detrimental. Usually, by the 3 week mark I am reasonably able to be up and about, but that is only when liberally interspersing rest breaks. If I have gotten too antsy staying home, dh has taken me for a ride. After about a month, I have pretty steadily felt stronger and more able to think (for me "pregnancy brain" has been very mild compared to "post-partum brain" ).
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Nancy
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Joelle
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I'm with Nina, no major trips (especially w/o hubby or other significant help) for the first few months and I truly don't feel "normal" until close to a year (and for the past few pregnancies, praise God, I have been pregnant again by then, so "normal" doesn't last long  ).
I like being out & about, but there is such wisdom here and those first few weeks are truly fleeting... If you miss this, will it matter a whole lot when you are chasing a lovely, rambunctious toddler around and wondering what happened to your snuggly newborn? If it wouldn't, I'd stay home and cuddle!!
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wifemommy
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I take it hiking with dh at 5 days post partum with baby in a sling and 5 other kids in tow and then out to dinner at Applebees with the whole crew doesn't count as "rest" It was our anniversay and a beautiful fall day!! I am horrible about staying in once the weather is nice. Maybe I'll do better next time.... Annie
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Angie Mc
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Personally, I prefer to stay home as much as possible with babies and really try to protect this precious time. At about 6 weeks I'm feeling ready to be fully active outside of the home BUT my body isn't actually ever ready. With JP I went to a Dback game at 6 weeks (wish I had a dollar for every Dback fan who said anything like "Good job starting them young!") and remember having a great time...except for when I had to walk back to the van...that's when I ran out of steam. I'm sure this all varies widely from woman to woman based on individual needs and strengths. I like to remind myself and other woman that it is OK to stay home with children for any reason, any time, especially babies because there tends to be more cultural pressure to go and do in general. So if you want to stay home, stay home. If you want to go out, be prudent. Anytime bleeding increases or begins again after having stopped, stop. Have someone who knows you well to be an outside reality gauge about how you are doing. Bring help. OK...gotta go!
Love,
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vmalott
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There is a big difference in getting back to "normal" in the home and getting back into going out into the world. I find it much easier to be cocooned in our home atmosphere with winter babies. We've had two winter babies out of six, and this seventh is expected in January. Lovely that we will have all the best excuse in the world to stay shut in for another couple of months!
BUT, little by little we all will need to adapt to the new soul in our home, adjusting our routines to fit his needs and personality. Home education will be lighter, taking on an even more relaxed rhythm. Housework will need to be delegated among the children so that mom won't go nuts in her postpartum state, where she has all the time in the world to sit and look at all the stuff on the floor, dishes in the sink, laundry piled in the laundry room, etc.,etc.
I've been blessed with very straightforward births and easy recoveries, which makes it very tempting to try to appear as normal as soon as possible after the birth. A bit of pride going on there, I think. But really, for going out in the world, it's nice to wait several weeks, and then, really only doing those things that I absolutely have to do.
Valerie
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: When are you 'up and about' post-partum?
