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kathleenmom
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| Posted: Sept 02 2007 at 8:00pm | IP Logged
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Our two year old is doing a LOT of hurting recently. He is scratching his older siblings, and scratching, hair pulling and biting the baby. Sigh.
He really is a sweet little guy. I'm just at my wits end. He is getting as much of me as there is to give and that's all I can say. There are a lot of fires to put out at my house these days. I give him as much attention as I am physically able to. I do not allow myself to get pulled away by the computer or other such things during the day. However, the sheer logistics of caring for, feeding and cleaning up after all of these little bodies during the day probably leaves me less time for him than is optimal. We also have some other major behavioral probelms with one of his siblings which I believe is contributory. I may post about that separately.....however, my question is - what do you do when there is constant, unrelenting acting out?
I don't put the baby down if I can help it. I try to keep him busy and next to me as much as I can, but that isn't fool proof. Right now, when he hurts someone, we all lavish attention on the victim and he spends a couple of minutes in the pack-n-play.
Any other suggestions. I'm so tired, I'm sure my brain isn't working and I'm missing something obvious.
Kathleen
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Bridget
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| Posted: Sept 03 2007 at 6:46am | IP Logged
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Thats one of the hardest parts about raising children: You might be doing everything right, but you don't see results right away. So you have to keep plugging along in training your child to be, not only a reasonable human being, but a saint. And it looks like he will spend the rest of his life in some form of the pack and play. Not very promising.
But he won't. He'll get through this. My guess is that it's partly jealousy of the baby and it's partly a desperate need for action, and excitement. Any at all, even if it's negative.
My three, almost 4 year old, is just now gaining some self control, judgement and the language to cope with what he needs. But between about one and a half to three, there was no peace unless that boy was sleeping.
Keep doing what your doing. Swift discipline when his behavior is bad and much love, positive attention and interesting activities to prevent trouble.
Don't view him as your bad kid and don't feel like your doing a bad job. This is just where he is in his growth right now and you, the mom, must matter-of-factly, patiently train him out of it. You WILL get past this hurdle. It probably won't be fast but it will happen.
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Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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kathleenmom
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| Posted: Sept 03 2007 at 7:21am | IP Logged
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Bridget,
God bless you. That was just what I needed to hear. I'm not a "newbie". I've done "2" before. Sometimes when down in the trenches it is difficult to keep your perspective.
Fondly,
Kathleen
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Martha
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ah.. time for the "shunning" as I call it. 
The minute they do it, they get their hand spanked, then they have to stay at my feet for a long time, at least to them. I tell him very honestly that he can't play with the big kids until he can be nice like a big kid. If they don't stay at my feet, they have to sit in bed.
Now, I also recommend taking the older kids aside and explaining that if they try to include him when he is being nice, he won't get frustrated so easily. MOST of the time, this behavior is simply done out of desperate frustration with their limited ability to communicate that they want to be involved int he play.
My 3 yr old has taken to screaming at the top of his lungs AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! and then throwing whatever is in his hands at the time. 
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Leonie
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Bridget wrote:
| Don't view him as your bad kid and don't feel like your doing a bad job. This is just where he is in his growth right now and you, the mom, must matter-of-factly, patiently train him out of it. You WILL get past this hurdle. It probably won't be fast but it will happen. |
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Great advice, Bridget.
I don't have any littlies any more  but one of my catch phrases, even now when things seem bleak with one child and his behaviour, is "This, too, shall pass." Just keep on keeping on, doing the right thing. Try not to get too emotional about the issue and eventually the child moves on, behaviourally speaking. 
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Bridget
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| Posted: Sept 04 2007 at 5:44am | IP Logged
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kathleenmom wrote:
Sometimes when down in the trenches it is difficult to keep your perspective.
Fondly,
Kathleen |
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And that is why we moms need each other!
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Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Hurting siblings
