Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Subject Topic: worried about your highschooler? Post ReplyPost New Topic
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monalisa
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Posted: Aug 07 2007 at 6:29pm | IP Logged Quote monalisa

Dear all ladies here iwht unscholled highschoolers:

I thought I'd share a story about myself with you all. I think you will appreciate it. I've been reading the archives and enjoying the discussions about all y'alls highschoolers and your worries about college and their futures. Can I say something? I love my family, but I would give my eye-teeth to have had any one of you for my own mother...

All my life I was considered an excellent student. I was an A+ reader, A- math student. Read the whole library before 6th grade. I always had adults telling me I'd do great things. But you know what? Every dream I ever had got scoffed or squashed at home by my callous father or my well-meaning but controlling mom.

My interests were art, ballet, art, and art. I worked 2 jobs to pay for ballet lessons at a prestigious school where all the other girls' moms cared more about dance than their daughters. My mom occasionally bought a pair of pointe shoes, but she thought dance- what a waste of my mind- didn't I want to help people? I'm actually proud of my 14yo self defending art tyo my mom back then!!! I read 100's of pages of books per day, though little of what was required in English (college prep school) because a lot of it was dark, depressing junk. Turn of the Screw? Ya, that's just what a tortured, unsure 16 yo mind needs. McTeague, Heart of Darkness? Why, when you could be reading, say, Quo Vadis? But I became more and more depressed between the ages of 12 and 15. I got into baD stuff, skipped a lot of cleasses- and guess what? I was still getting straight A's, aceing the SAT, and getting 32's and 34's on my ACT. Bloody brilliant, I was. Schiolarships from any college to which I applied. Full rides. The world was open to me.

I wanterd to enter a convent and told my mom when I was a junior in hs. She attacked me, screamed at me, forbade me. I thought about going against her wishes, but at 17, I just didn't have the guts. I still needed her approval.

Guess what I did? I decided to go to art school. I ended up moving in with my boyfriend as I didn't have enough money in the big city of Chicago. I was suicidal. After 2 years, I had another major conversion and entered a convent anyway. I spent my junior year of college in a little convent, wrestling demon after demon after demon and coming to terms with my broken life. Then, I had to admit with my superiors that religious life was not my vocation. I left and met my husband soon after. I was 21. I finished school and we got married.   I quit my job and started having babies. Now I'm 26 and have 2 little ones, and I'm looking forward to our hs journey together. Togther. As a family.

What the heck is my point? The point is, you ladies are doing such an amazing job with your children. Just reading about your hs's makes me so excited for your kids. And for mine. I have a lot of natural ability, but my family life really (tried to) squashed me. You all have inspiring homes, as imperfect as they are. I really think children who grew up in the kinds of homes I see on your blogs and posts- they have the soul skills and the inner reserves to draw upon- they will rise to the occasions that they must. I personally would rather my kids learn a trade at 16 and try it on for size before college, to see if they want college, than see college as the golden calf. Although I will ensure that they can pass those pesky tests...

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lapazfarm
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Posted: Aug 07 2007 at 6:59pm | IP Logged Quote lapazfarm

What an inspiring, thought-provoking story! Thank you for sharing that fascinating perspective. I agree that if we do not nurture the spirit, then all else is in vain.

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Leonie
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Posted: Aug 08 2007 at 6:04pm | IP Logged Quote Leonie

monalisa wrote:
The point is, you ladies are doing such an amazing job with your children. Just reading about your hs's makes me so excited for your kids. And for mine. I have a lot of natural ability, but my family life really (tried to) squashed me. You all have inspiring homes, as imperfect as they are. I really think children who grew up in the kinds of homes I see on your blogs and posts- they have the soul skills and the inner reserves to draw upon- they will rise to the occasions that they must.


Thank you for sharing your story! And for your encouragement.

I am prompted to remember this post by an unschooling father.

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