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Maryan Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 02 2007
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Posted: April 26 2007 at 10:08am | IP Logged
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driving me nuts!
When we leave the house, he changes his mind about which shoes to wear umpteen times (and I think -- do I have a daughter???) The practical side of me says: this is ridiculous! Put on one pair of shoes and that's it. So when this occurs, I firmly say: "No, we are leaving. You need to keep your shoes on." And if he gets upset at my no -- I put in the corner/crib until he stops whining (which also delays getting out the door!)
But then...he sometimes he wants to put shoes on just for fun inside the house (and I understand this is just a toddler repetitive activity... and while this also drives me nuts because I have to help him put on all those shoes -- I'm okay with this because I know he's "playing" with shoes.) So I let him do that.
But... I wonder if I'm sending mixed messages!! I really feel it is not optional to change our shoes before leaving -- it's hard enough to get out the door with four ages five and under, and the potty training, and the surprise diaper changes, etc. I can't add a shoe delay to the whole process!!
So I feel silly asking this: but what would you do? Will he "get" that trying on shoes in the house is playing and when we go to leave -- it's one pair of shoes and that's it???
__________________ Maryan
Mom to 6 boys & 1 girl: JP('01), B ('03), M('05), L('06), Ph ('08), M ('10), James born 5/1/12
A Lee in the Woudes
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Maryan Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 02 2007
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Posted: April 26 2007 at 10:10am | IP Logged
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I should add that he's on the early side of two and is at that easily frustrated stage because his vocabulary hasn't caught up with all of his desires IYKWIM.
__________________ Maryan
Mom to 6 boys & 1 girl: JP('01), B ('03), M('05), L('06), Ph ('08), M ('10), James born 5/1/12
A Lee in the Woudes
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mom2mpr Forum All-Star
Joined: May 16 2006 Location: N/A
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Posted: April 26 2007 at 10:54am | IP Logged
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We went through this with dd and ended up packing a bag of shoes to take with us Also, sometimes she left the house barefoot with a few pairs in tow to choose on the way to our destination. It was a battle I chose not to fight and tried to find ways to just get get out of the house Now she is four and I give her a 10 minute warning, and sometimes have big brother go with her, and she has that time to pick and put on shoes. We still leave barefoot sometimes. We leave with rubber frog boots and a fancy dress, crocs and dress, it makes life interesting and I am trying to smile and enjoy this phase
(though it drives dh absolutely crazy )
Good luck!
Anne
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Meredith Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 08 2005 Location: N/A
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Posted: April 26 2007 at 1:36pm | IP Logged
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Do we have the same son For some reason, shoes, boots, sandals, anything that he can put on his little feet are a big highlight in his day! Therefore, I try not to be too concerned about WHAT shoes he's wearing as long as if we're going to Mass they are appropriate for church. That said, we still have struggles!
Maybe try not to make a big deal out of it, I don't think you're sending mixed messages, but maybe let him have a little more control and if he changes them or ends up with NO shoes on, then perhaps he has to go with that decision, as in he won't be able to walk around because he doesn't have them on???
This probably doesn't help much, but please know you're NOT alone in the 2 yo old jungle!!
Praying for you both
__________________ Meredith
Mom of 4 Sweeties
Sweetness and Light
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Sarah Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 17 2005 Location: N/A
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Posted: April 26 2007 at 6:45pm | IP Logged
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The only thing here that can stop a tantrum or help ds 20 months change gears is to put on his shoes. He wants everyone elses shoes. Poor dd3 was attacked recently when ds wanted her Easter shoes.
Hang in there. I think this age is darling but really hard at the same time. They cannot be reasoned with!
Would he go for a bag packed with shoes as mentioned above and just be happy carrying it? Or would he want to perpetually try them on, which wouldn't work in public.
Another idea is to "lose" all pairs but one. Ds has only one pair. But would your son remember and keep asking or just switch to wearing someone elses?
I think it will pass. Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!
If it makes you feel better ds whines/screams inconsolably if we try to use the bathroom or play the piano.
__________________ Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
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Angie Mc Board Moderator
Joined: Jan 31 2005 Location: Arizona
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Posted: April 26 2007 at 8:19pm | IP Logged
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Maryan, I'm with you sister! Just last week I stood in the parking lot of Little League as my 23 mos. old son refused to put his socks and shoes on to go watch brother play ball. Not wearing shoes is not an option because of all the stuff on the ground. Oh my. In most instances I'm fine with giving him the option to wear his shoes or not, but at Little League, I have to say, "We are at Little League. As soon as you put your shoes on, we can go play."
Or how about buying shoes at the department store? He freaks out when I try to fit shoes on him...but he won't leave easily because he LOVES trying on all the other shoes...the fancier and bigger, the better .
OK, so I have been absolutely no help at all...but the next time I'm engaged in a shoe stand-off with little man, I'll think of you all .
Love,
__________________ Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
About Me
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