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KellyJ
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| Posted: March 17 2007 at 10:33am | IP Logged
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Erin wrote this in the "15 Children" thread:
Erin wrote:
An acquaintance of mine (in her 30s)is the youngest of nineteen children; she is from Ireland. I asked her just recently about family logistics. They lived in an average size house and I believe several children in bedrooms and I think some even shared beds.
What makes me really sad is that she has chosen to only have two and most of her siblings have chosen the same. Not judging her but it makes you stop and wonder what will our dc do? Off topic, sorry 
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What WILL happen?
I'm sure the responses will vary, not only for those who come from families of many, but also for those who come from families with just one or two children.
In our family, we see all of it. My dad had a much larger family than the one he came from. My mom's siblings had much fewer children than the large family she came from (Mom didn't have as many children as my Grandmother, but more than any of my aunts and uncles).
In my husband's large family, most of the married siblings have large families and are continuing to grow them with God. At least a couple of them are loving open to children in spite of poverty (my maternal grandparents were too). The ones who are not yet married and are looking toward marriage want large families too.
I realize that there are factors that we can control, such as our disposition to our children, the quality (and, to a certain degree, the quantity) of attention we give them, our personal example in general, etc. However, I also recognize there are also things that we have less, or even no, control over, such as income, cost of living matters (i.e., afforable housing), and the God-given free will of our children.
I suppose as relates to this concern, I think we need to be faithful to God and to our families; provide a good and joyful example; teach them right--including discussing the blessing of children, openness to life, and the proper views and treatment of possessions, "privileges" (i.e., fancy vacations), and money; and above all, praying and trusting in God.
I am sure others have a lot more and better to share on what to think of and how to deal with this concern. So, please, do share! 
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KellyJ
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chicken lady
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| Posted: March 17 2007 at 12:51pm | IP Logged
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I am one of 10, and sad to say the only one practicing the faith. My opinion is often the faith is not properly taught, and accepting of suffering is shunned. We live in a society where Health and wealth are seen as God's blessing on the righteous, and suffering and poverty are signs that you MUST be doing something wrong. I have witnessed this first hand over the past year, well intended people repel from suffering, if they cannot "fix" the problem they run. C.S. Lewis talks of this in A Grief Observed. I recently had a very close friend off mine admit this to me, she is a very solid Catholic, and she confessed to wanting to stay away from me because she hated the pain and suffering.
Sorry if this seems off topic, I hope I am explaining my point, that people who are poorly instructed in the faith, are terrified of suffering. Those of us who studied theology, and strive for faith are afraid. I am afraid, I have just had more of an oppotunity to have light shown on the problem.
So I believe that all the good women on this board will not have the same problems as my siblings, and this friend you refer to, as you are all teaching the faith.
Having a large family, actually having even 1 child opens your heart to such profound pain, and suffering. You are saying yes to God's will, and that is very frightening. Love is always a risk. Children are a rich deep blessing, and this reamins true in life and death.
So I understand why people are afraid to have more children, I understand yet, I hold firm to the church, and the example of Our Blessed Mother, who can possibly know more suffering than Mary!
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Ruth
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| Posted: March 17 2007 at 1:02pm | IP Logged
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That's beautiful, Molly 
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Ruth
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: March 17 2007 at 1:45pm | IP Logged
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Molly, that's what I see too.. My MIL's family was large and the faith practised but it's very obvious that mostly they were not TAUGHT the faith.. my MIL easily follows what society says.. as do most of her siblings.. they were never given the reasons to their faith and so the faith is weak in most of them.. if present at all  my dh is the one out of 3 practising Catholicism.. and I'm not sure if it wasn't for the fact that I converted if he would have continued.. not because of *me* though it helps supporting each other.. but because he joined me in learning about the faith. And that makes a HUGE difference.
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All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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Bridget
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| Posted: March 17 2007 at 2:46pm | IP Logged
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I know quite a few large families on their second and third generations of large families. The common thread seems to be a willingness to suffer with joy. In spite of poverty, health issues and the usual crazy struggles of a large family, the parents had great joy in their kids and a great and deep love for Christ's CHurch. Their example showed that obedience and joy overcame many obstacles and were the path to happiness.
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Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: What will our children do?
