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stefoodie
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| Posted: March 09 2007 at 6:19pm | IP Logged
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Hi all, I've been thinking about this a lot lately and most especially today, and I'm hoping someone could put it in proper perspective for me.
When our loved ones are suffering, should we be praying that they be relieved/spared/healed, knowing that any suffering they go through, they're getting closer to God and being purified and perfected and that this is their opportunity to unite their pain with Christ's cross? I know that we ask, like Jesus' prayer at Gethsemane, for our Lord to take the cup of suffering from him, but in the end that we accept and rejoice in His will being done... but is it selfish to ask that they be healed from the suffering because we don't like to see them suffer? Or maybe we should just be asking for God's grace on them that they will continue to bear their suffering well....
And how do we support our loved ones? I know it's in serving them and making sure they have what they need and that they're as comfortable as we can make them, but in terms of what we say/do, etc.
This may be a stupid question, but I'm going to ask anyway -- how cheerful should we be? Is it more helpful to the sufferer to see us suffering along with him, or should we try to cheer him up by being upbeat as much as we can? I can see how one's spirits can be lifted by either approach, but at the same time can also be brought down depending on how THEY see their suffering.
My dh is going through a lot, and he has always been a great sufferer, hardly ever complains, just takes it and takes it and takes it. Sometimes I don't know how to help him best, except through prayer.
There are several of you here whose loved ones are going through so much, or you're going through a lot yourself, so I'd appreciate your thoughts when you have the chance.... thanks.
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stef
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aussieannie
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| Posted: March 09 2007 at 6:33pm | IP Logged
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This is a great topic to contemplate in Lent Stef! I am sorry to hear your dh is suffering, my father was like that too, suffered greatly in silence - great sanctity is to be found in it and I am sure it shortens significantly someone's purgatory, esepcially if there is a beautiful resignation to God's will.
I thought I would add this link Stef, Salvific Dolores an Apostolic Letter written by Pope John Paul II, (The Christian Meaning of Human Suffering)
I think that we are very blessed to be Catholics for suffering is one of the greatest human mysteries and the perfect answers are to be found in the Catholic understanding of suffering. This culture is extrememly allergic and lives in mortal fear of it and there is alot of false understanding of it and it's meaning in other faiths etc.
Fr Corapi is very knowlegable on this subject, it was his main thesis in his study.
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aussieannie
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| Posted: March 09 2007 at 6:38pm | IP Logged
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Found a link to Fr Corapi's talks on suffering.
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stefoodie
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| Posted: March 10 2007 at 6:14am | IP Logged
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Thank you, Anne! I'm printing out Salvific Dolores to read and meditate on today...
I neglected to mention that one CD I've been listening to is Jeff Cavins' on suffering that came free with the wines. It has taught me a lot, and I'm looking forward to learning more from Fr. Corapi.
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stef
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aussieannie
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| Posted: March 10 2007 at 6:36am | IP Logged
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Stef, I'm curious now....what wines? ....I can just picture it, instead of drowing our sorrows we can understand it better!  
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Elizabeth
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Stef,
I highly recommend Making Sense out of Suffering. I'm pressed for time today but I'll try to get back here soon to give you a synopsis. In the meantime, I'm praying for you and your dear husband.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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MaryM
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aussieannie wrote:
| Stef, I'm curious now....what wines? ....I can just picture it, instead of drowing our sorrows we can understand it better! |
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That is a funny picture.
There is a virtual wine tastinghappening with some 4 Real members. One of the wines that was decided on for the tasting (BOGO Rosso) was one that came with the free Jeff Cavins CD when you placed an order.
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stefoodie
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| Posted: March 10 2007 at 1:18pm | IP Logged
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LOL
Forgive me for posting while still half-asleep this morning. I should have anticipated the response that would get!!
Elizabeth, I've put it in my shopping cart for my next Amazon order. Thank you for the recommendation.
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stef
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: March 10 2007 at 11:39pm | IP Logged
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Me too, and Mary Ann R. would say, "Me three."
I also think that you are on to something...trying to meet the person where they are at and really tuning into what they need at the moment. It really is an art...a dance...to know how to respond in a way that is comforting to those who are suffering. It is hard for me to keep my own stuff out of it and really be for the other person.
I feel comfortable asking for suffering to be completely relieved. It shows compassion and helps me to deal with the suffering. It also shows in my hope for and belief in miracles. As long as I ultimately trust God and His will and know that suffering is purposeful, then I'm on the right track. Tough work, though.
Stef, I'm sure that you are doing great under difficult circumstances. You can be so very cheerful and be such a good listener and you love your dh so. Hang in there friend  .
Love,
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Question about suffering
