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myheaven1967
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What kind of Catholic parish do you attend? I know there are different ways to express our faith. What type of worship and traditions do you find lead you to a deeper connection with God and the people of your community?
Also, do you find sacramentals such as blessed salt helpful? How do you include Catholic traditions in your personal and family life?
I want to cover my head, and there is only one other mom in my Parish that does so.
So I am just wondering what other families do.
Hope it is ok to ask.
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Jill: Wife to Kurt, mother to 1 dd and 4 ds
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3ringcircus
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I'm Roman Catholic too. There are a few women in my parents' church who cover their heads. My Mom likes to wear a hat. Not sure about blessing salt. I heard of that for the first time on this forum.
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Christine
Mom to my circus of boys: G-1/06, D-1/04, S-4/10
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stacykay
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I am also Roman Catholic. We have a few ladies in our church who wear head coverings (usually the lacy veils, but a couple also wear hats.) My mother-in-law is Roman Catholic and always wears a hat. She doesn't go to our church, but one nearer her house. She wears her hat when she visits other churches for baptisms, weddings, etc. I have two friends who are also Roman Catholic who wear head coverings, too. There is also one Roman Catholic church in our diocese (Detroit) where is seems more women than not wear head coverings.
Overall, I think folks consider it a matter of personal choice and don't think one way or another about those who do or don't wear head coverings.
I'd like to have salt blessed, also, but I have also heard that not every priest will do it. My girlfriend and I are waiting for a priest who had been transferred away, but is now returning, to bless our bags for us! 
In Christ,
Stacy in MI
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Angie Mc
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Jill, I think I can help you out here.
You might want to rephrase your question as not to unintentionally disrespect anyone, something more like this...
Quote:
What kind of Catholic parish do you attend? I know there are different ways to express our faith. What type of worship and traditions do you find lead you to a deeper connection with God and the people of your community? Do you veil?
Also, do you find sacramentals such as blessed salt helpful? How do you include Catholic traditions in your personal and family life? |
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So, yes it is just fine to ask all sorts of questions here in order to gain good information, support and encouragement for the growth of your soul and the well being of your family. We wouldn't want anyone to misunderstand that attending a local Roman Catholic parish is somehow "less deep" than a different church. The Church is true because of Christ, not because of particular little traditions upheld. The Mass is valid because of the Eucharist, not because of how individuals choose to express their piety.
Also, we must take extra care to respect all holy priests. There may be a very good reason why a particular priest chooses not to participate in a particular tradition. If you don't see eye to eye with your priest about these matters, no worries. You can choose to discuss the matter with him, thereby building a relationship upon which you can learn from each other. Or you can simply and discreetly get your salt blessed by another priest, for example.
So to answer your question, I attend my local Roman Catholic parish and love it. I've attended for nine years, since moving here, and I can't say enough about how much I have grown spiritually by attending. While the style and little traditions celebrated may not be my personal preference, I love being among my neighbors and building relationships that help me to get outside of myself. I also accept personal responsibility for and the challenge of growing in holiness by not allowing certain things to get under my skin! It has taken nine years for me to really settle into myself in a way that I can trust...to learn how to focus on the most important aspects of parish life; the sacraments and loving my neighbors. Simple, but not always easy  .
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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myheaven1967
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Thank you Angie. I was very unsure how to word that, you did a much better job and I just amended my original post. Thank you!
I had no intentions of offending. I just didn't know how to word it.
I truly loved what you said here:
" I love being among my neighbors and building relationships that help me to get outside of myself. I also accept personal responsibility for and the challenge of growing in holiness by not allowing certain things to get under my skin!"
This is part of why I want to stay where I am!
Yes, there are certain people that get under my skin, and I feel like I need to get through and past that! And love them as Our Lord loves them. Not just what I see that they are displaying outwardly. This also goes for our Priest. And I DO like our Priest. I feel he has a lot to offer our little parish. I guess I also feel like I am a pest to him. I must go to him at least once a week with something to bless! I think we were both perplexed by my asking to have the salt blessed. And maybe I even made him wonder enough to want to know. And maybe I did not. I am a returning parishioner to this parish so have only been attending since September. He is new since I returned. He is a very kind man. And his homilies are wonderful and always make me think!
I hope I did not offend anyone.
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Jill: Wife to Kurt, mother to 1 dd and 4 ds
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CrunchyMom
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Well. blessing salt is a Roman Catholic sacramental, but it is somewhat out of fashion, so not all Roman Catholic priests do it. Covering one's head is the same. So regarding these particular pious practices, it isn't really a matter of what rite you belong to.
There are traditional Roman Catholic communities that use the extraordinary form of the mass, and you will generally find more people who have devotions to these older practices, but there are ordinary diocesan priests who will bless salt, and some congregations of the ordinary form will have a greater number of parioners who choose to practice more of the older pious traditions like head covering, too.
The rite has more to do with the liturgy itself. The most common rite other than Roman that you are likely to find is the Byzantine, though there are a number of Maronite churches as well. I think there are something like 17 different rites that are still in communion with Rome. I wouldn't say that any one of them is "deeper" than the other, but you are more likely to find variance among the different parishes using the ordinary form of the Roman mass. Though, since the Byzantine rite has always been in the vernacular, you might find different ethnic churches using it. For instance, the Byzantine parish in our diocese is Ukranian and offers the mass of St. John Chrysostom in both Ukranian and English. The extraordinary form of the Roman mass is always in Latin, but some parishes offer the ordinary form in Latin rather than the vernacular.
This is a tricky topic since so much comes down to difference in tastes. Traditionally, the Catholic church has promoted church membership based on where one lives, but with so much variance, more people now choose their parish based on what they like rather than where they live. It may feel as though it is denominational in the same way Protestant churches are divided, but it isn't.
In discussing this topic, I do think it is important to avoid adjectives like "more" "deeper" " not enough." I sympathize with some of your desires, and our family regularly (though not exclusively) attends the extraordinary form of the mass offered in our diocese, but for instance, some women at the EF don't cover their heads while other friends who attend the OF do. It is a personal preference, not a sign of deeper devotion, though a desire for deeper devotion may be your personal motivation in pursuing it. You may be able to find a parish community and priest that is more sympathetic to your choices, but maybe not. There is not a simple way to choose the "blessed salt and head-covering" parish, at least not in a universal way.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
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[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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CrunchyMom
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Sorry, I cross posted with Angie. She said it much more clearly. 
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
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[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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Angie Mc
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Jill, no worries! The 4Real board has a history of giving benefit of the doubt, understanding that it is truly difficult to write words that express our thoughts, feelings, and intentions well! I appreciate everyone here who tries And thanks for giving me benefit of the doubt 
And speaking of "getting under skin", part of my growth has been to see that *I* must try not to get under the skin of others!!! Like you, I try not to be a pest  but that takes time and experience to figure out!
Love,
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Angie Mc
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Angie Mc
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CrunchyMom wrote:
| Sorry, I cross posted with Angie. She said it much more clearly. |
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I appreciate that your answer is more thorough and includes helpful details . Y'all know I'm not good with the details! 
Love,
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Angie Mc
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JennGM
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Just to be super-technical, "Roman Catholic" is actually a pejorative term originally pegged by Protestants. We are Latin Rite Catholics, as compared to Eastern Rite or Byzantine Rite or Orthodox Catholics.
And the term "Roman Catholic" or "Latin Rite Catholics" actually cover both the Ordinary Form and Extraordinary Forms of the Mass, as they are not a different "rite".
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CrunchyMom
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JennGM wrote:
Just to be super-technical, "Roman Catholic" is actually a pejorative term originally pegged by Protestants. We are Latin Rite Catholics, as compared to Eastern Rite or Byzantine Rite or Orthodox Catholics.
And the term "Roman Catholic" or "Latin Rite Catholics" actually cover both the Ordinary Form and Extraordinary Forms of the Mass, as they are not a different "rite". |
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I did not realize Roman Catholic was originally pejorative! Crazy how many churches use it in their own descriptions!
Sorry I was not clear about the OF and EF being the same rite.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
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[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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myheaven1967
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Thank you for understanding!
I guess, yes what I really want, yearn for, NEED, is a deeper connection to Christ. And no amount of outward signs are going to do that. Skirt/pants, short hair/long, etc. If my home was naked with the exception of people and the love of Christ permeated from us with bare walls, than we would succeed in some closeness to Christ.If he just emanated love from our hearts. That is what it is really all about isn't it?
Thank you for opening my eyes! I needed this post more than you will ever know!
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JennGM
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CrunchyMom wrote:
JennGM wrote:
Just to be super-technical, "Roman Catholic" is actually a pejorative term originally pegged by Protestants. We are Latin Rite Catholics, as compared to Eastern Rite or Byzantine Rite or Orthodox Catholics.
And the term "Roman Catholic" or "Latin Rite Catholics" actually cover both the Ordinary Form and Extraordinary Forms of the Mass, as they are not a different "rite". |
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I did not realize Roman Catholic was originally pejorative! Crazy how many churches use it in their own descriptions!
Sorry I was not clear about the OF and EF being the same rite. |
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My apologies, Lindsay. My second point about the EF and OF was just clarification on my own, not directed at you or any post above. I just was doing my usual expounding.
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Jennifer G. Miller
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Angie Mc
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Jenn, when did parishes start to identity themselves as Roman Catholic? For example, my parish self-identifies itself as "St. George Roman Catholic Parish" in all of it's public records.
Love,
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Angie Mc
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Angie Mc
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myheaven1967 wrote:
Thank you for understanding!
I guess, yes what I really want, yearn for, NEED, is a deeper connection to Christ. And no amount of outward signs are going to do that. Skirt/pants, short hair/long, etc. If my home was naked with the exception of people and the love of Christ permeated from us with bare walls, than we would succeed in some closeness to Christ.If he just emanated love from our hearts. That is what it is really all about isn't it?
Thank you for opening my eyes! I needed this post more than you will ever know! |
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We need each other more than we know!
Love,
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Angie Mc
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JennGM
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Angie Mc wrote:
Jenn, when did parishes start to identity themselves as Roman Catholic? For example, my parish self-identifies itself as "St. George Roman Catholic Parish" in all of it's public records.
Love, |
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I don't know. Our parish is the same way....I'm just saying it's technically incorrect.  Just to confuse everyone!
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SallyT
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We're converts from Anglicanism, attend our local parish, and love it. If there were an Anglican-Use/Ordinariate parish available, I would be very drawn to that because of my background, but really I'm very happy simply to have jumped into the stream of what for lack of a better term I'm non-pejoratively going call call "plain ol' Catholicism."
And one of the things I love about "plain ol' Catholicism" is that it is full of things to *do,* and *touch,* and *experience,* as a way of drawing closer to God -- I may not always feel "close" to God, or even *feel like* being "close" to God, but in those times there are still things I can *do* that will, objectively, pull me into greater communion with Him.
The first of these, of course, is the Holy Eucharist. My husband and I, as part of preparing for our 25th-anniversary renewal of vows (which isn't for another 18 months, but you just can't start too early!), have made a little Rule of Life for ourselves and our marriage, and part of our Rule is to receive Christ in the Sacrament together as often as we can -- every day if possible, with or without our children. There is no better way to draw near to God than to have Him enter us, Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity -- and you can do that at any Mass, anywhere, regardless of liturgical style, architecture, music, or priestly persona. Jesus is Jesus, and if you want to love Him more, that's the first and foremost thing to do.
A regular Holy Hour/ie Eucharistic Adoration is a good thing to do, too. We're blessed in that our parish has a weekly parish Holy Hour (though it would be nice if we had a perpetual Adoration chapel . . . ).
Another part of our Rule of Life is to pray at least some part of the Divine Office, ie the Liturgy of the Hours, together every day. There is a lot of grace imparted in the practice of praying with the Church -- in entering into this form of prayer, you enter into the very life of the Trinity. So the introduction to the breviary says, and that to me is the most exciting reason to pray this way.
We have also held an Enthronement of the Sacred Heart in our home. Having an area of the home dedicated to Him -- in our case, it's the wall above our fireplace mantel in the living room, so you see it right when you come in the front door -- means having a place to gather for prayer, not to mention a constant reminder of who lives and reigns in that house. Friends of ours have reported actual miracles related to the presence of the Sacred Heart; while we haven't had any miracles that we know of, I do believe that He is at work in our family in ever-expanding ways. The Enthronement itself was a lot of fun -- we had had a parish mission devoted to that very thing, so many families began doing it and inviting each other to their Enthronements. Even now from time to time people still have their Sacred Heart and Immaculate Heart images blessed at the end of Mass, and it's good to see the practice continue to thrive, long after the initial burst of enthusiasm inspired by the mission.
Otherwise -- well, because I don't ever trust my feelings to tell me whether I'm close to God or not, I continue to concentrate on things to do: maintain a couple of little shrines to Our Lady in the house, wear blessed medals, pray the Rosary (though I admit to being undisciplined about this -- I gravitate a lot more towards the LOTH), try to do some spiritual reading, though for me this most often takes the form of novels about the spiritual life, like Rumer Godden's In This House of Brede. I concentrate on praying with my children, reading about saints with them, talking about the faith with them, doing what I can to foster a love in them for Christ and His Church. I find that often my own lessons work on me as well.
I sometimes cover my head, though lately I most often don't, because the veil drives me crazy, especially in choir at Sunday Mass. My other female choir members do cover, as do a number of women in the congregation, but as far as I know -- and I make it a point to try to be ignorant here -- it's not a measure of who's more pious than whom. We have an EF Mass twice weekly as our daily Mass, and my family and I attend those Masses and love them, but we also love the OF. The point is that we *go* as often as we can.
Anyway, those are my thoughts. It's all a daily process, step by halting step, towards holiness and heaven. God is holding out His grace all the time; it's my job to seek it out and take it from Him, every minute of every day. And I'm grateful for all the ways that He makes these opportunities concrete, visible, tangible, do-able -- He doesn't have to, but that He does is a real gift to limited, physical, attention-deficit me.
Sally
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myheaven1967
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Sally you are in inspiration!
I am currently at the end of doing my Devotion the Immaculate Heart of Mary. I keep a little area for her, we try to always have some fresh flowers there at this time of year. The kids loving finding just the right flowers... I do the Litany of the Hour in the morning but I need to work on the rest of the day, as I do it alone. I get up early and say prayers and make use of that rosary that had been sitting for quite some time....
When I am finished with this Devotion I have been eyeing up the Enthronement. But it was too much on my plate at once.
I have a friend (in real life) that has always went to a Church that only uses the Latin Mass. She very much frowns upon the changes from the 60's. When we get talking I get to second guessing myself. I am also very judgmental of myself. Did I do enough? Etc. I have tattoos from the past, that I am not happy about, most are fine, for me, but one in particular is not.  And I have no money at this time to fix that. So, I am very unhappy with my past and I suppose am trying to cover those sins by submerging myself and trying to be perfect, in the eyes of God. But I think in all honesty I am trying to be perfect in my own eyes, as Jesus has already forgiven me those sins.
More inner work to do.
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JennGM
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Sally has some great points. So much of going deeper with Christ is not about the externals. The sacramentals and other practices are ways to remind and draw you closer to Christ and His Mother, but truly the Mass and the sacraments are the most important.
I don't know if I recommended them to you before, but some great books that really are short and sweet but pack a punch on building your spiritual life are the ones by Jacques Philippe. I can't recommend his writings enough -- they are perfect for any stage of the spiritual life.
The presence of God is something so key (I struggle with it daily). I love little short writings like The Way that give a small thought to meditate on while you're working around the house. I keep my book in the kitchen and snatch a passage or two. You can also read it online here.
My husband loves to say so much of the arguments within faithful Catholics are "Form over Substance". Unless your parish is heretical or the Mass is not valid, as Catholics Jesus is the same in the Mass no matter where we go. We don't attend Mass for the homily -- we attend to worship Christ and to receive Him. It's always nice when the music is to our liking and we get a great sermon, but it's not necessary to our faith!
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Erica Sanchez
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Jill,
We attend a parish that only offers the EF and is staffed by the priests of the Fraternity of St. Peter. We have only been attending for about three years and still attend Masses all around the diocese for various events and try to maintain contact with our previous parish, Mission San Diego de Alcala, by volunteering at the annual fiesta, etc.
At our new parish, I have had conversations with a few people like the friend you mention. At first, it greatly bothered me and I didn't know how to quite respond. Now if I encounter someone like that, I just stay positive and if appropriate share about the good and holy and beautiful things from our old parish and others we know about. I think some people who have maybe only attended the EF just don't know or only know about or have experienced some of the less than good and holy things which I have experience myself, but I choose in that moment to stay positive. I don't let it bother me and I don't second guess our choice to attend this parish because of a few people that have feelings different than mine.
I have found that I am less judgmental the older I get. :) A young man we sponsored a few years back has a few tattoos. Most of us have lots of baggage and the results of poor choices that can't be seen on the outside. Take comfort in that.
I am kind of terrible at prayer and devotions and such, so shouldn't offer much advice here. I think a good idea, though, is to start one thing and do it until it becomes a part of your day. Start with something easier like saying the Angelus at noon or the Divine Mercy Chaplet at 3:00 p.m. I need to take my own advice. :)
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Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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Topic: what kind of Church
