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Barb.b
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| Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 8:51am | IP Logged
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So, the flu season this year is scary. . . seems every day I read in news about more deaths. SOOOOO - I am not going to shake peoples hands at Mass. Now - I plan to simply smile, nod and say peace be with you, without extending my hand. If they extend theirs - I guess they just eventually realize no handshake is coming. Anyone else not hand shaking and if not, how do you avoid it. Also, am trying to make my kids comfortable not hand shaking. I think for kids its harder because there is an adult trying to shake your hands and it is harder for them to avoid. But I am going to be adamant they DON"T shake hands.
Barb
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organiclilac
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One thing that has helped me when we are battling a cold or the people near us obviously are is to give my kids biiiiiig hugs. Then the kids are occupied, and I can just nod and say peace be with you over their heads to those around us while my arms are full. 
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: Jan 11 2013 at 9:28am | IP Logged
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When flu season has hit in the past, at our Mass, the priest has actually encouraged people not to shake hands but to simply smile, make eye contact, and say peace be with you.
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Becky
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Pilgrim
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Another idea that I gained from seeing a lady who normally went to the Extraordinary Form, she would kneel down before the handshake of peace, as she was used to kneeling at that time during the Mass. I think it was at the Lamb of God, (I haven't been to an Ordinary form in quite a while). Anyway, when I tried this during a time when I was worried about catching sicknesses going around, it worked rather well. People just see you kneeling, and take it as you're praying, not that you're being "anti-social".  I noticed with that lady, that people would just see her kneeling in prayer, and would turn to find someone else to give the handshake of peace to.
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Angi
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| Posted: Jan 12 2013 at 7:48am | IP Logged
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We keep our hands folded prayer style and just say Peace.
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insegnante
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| Posted: Jan 12 2013 at 4:03pm | IP Logged
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This is one reason I prefer attending the parish at which we are registered (and have been for over 10 years) over the parish in which we live -- I get many more looks of non-understanding (not meaning anger, just really not getting when my hand is coming) at the geographical parish. You probably don't want to go to another parish even temporarily just to change this situation, though (if that would even make the difference in your case)!
We have 4 kids although I'm usually only inside the main body of the church with my 10-year-old and 4-year-old while my husband is in the foyer with the others. I just try to make my time with them. We also currently sit mostly in pews which are at the front of their "section" and don't usually have anyone else in the pew with us, so if we don't turn around rarely does anyone seek out our hands.
I'm not as "germophobic" as I used to be, but there are times I strongly prefer not to shake hands for reasons of avoiding illness.
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Theresa
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CatholicMommy
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| Posted: Jan 16 2013 at 10:27pm | IP Logged
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We've done similar to ideas above. Sitting way up front tends to minimize the number of people around you anyway (fewer germs that way too!); just don't turn around. And keep your hands folded together in a gesture of prayer. It helps to make the point by actually saying "The peace of Christ be with you." You're offering something "extra" in place of the handshake, thus making the other person feel a lot more comfortable.
The church we attended in when we lived in Minnesota, I was SO nervous starting there - Ordinary Form of the Mass - I am the only one with a head covering - sitting way up front... well, the lady who sat nearest us? She ALWAYS bowed her head during the sign of the peace. Clearly praying. Only once did we both acknowledge to each other that we weren't doing the "hand-shaking" part.
Another lady I one met was immuno-compromised, so also kept her head bent in prayer.
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Elena
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Doesn't hurt to keep some Purell in your purse for the ride home from church either! 
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: Jan 23 2013 at 9:36pm | IP Logged
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Elena wrote:
| Doesn't hurt to keep some Purell in your purse for the ride home from church either! |
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I now feel comfortable cleaning my hands right before receiving Communion. I just found this foaming hand sanitizer that is unscented, quiet, & takes only one pump. No spilling, spray sound, or scent helps with discretion.
Love,
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Maggie
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| Posted: Jan 23 2013 at 9:39pm | IP Logged
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I'm not a huge fan of shaking hands at Mass, but I do have an interesting perspective on it.
Back in college, I stopped going to Mass for a period of time.
During my first year of college, I experienced some pretty severe cruelty from my roommate and initial group of friends. I was ostracized and half way across the country...in Boston...which was about as foreign to me as China.
I became very depressed.
In the depths of my depression, I was so desperate to talk to anyone...and to be touched...to be acknowledged...
It occurred to me that if I went to Mass, someone would HAVE to touch me...someone would HAVE TO shake my hand and say peace, whether they wanted to or not (it never occurred to me that someone might not shake my hand).
And so I went to Mass. I didn't go to receive the Body of Our Lord. I didn't know enough about Him yet.
I went to just be touched and acknowledged by another person.
And at the hand shake of peace, I teared up immensely and fought to suppress my tears. Someone actually shook my hand, looked me in the eyes, smiled, and said peace.
I lived on that hand shake for a week.
And then I went back the next week, hoping for the same hand shake.
And then...I kept going back.
Now, though I am so not touchy-feely at all, I always try to set aside my concerns about germs (yes, we have had the middle of the night RSV ER visit with an infant), or anything else I am concerned about regarding the sometimes awkward hand shake.
I look people in the eye, smile, and give a warm handshake.
Because you never know what a simple handshake can do.
For me, it brought me back to the Church.
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: Jan 23 2013 at 10:28pm | IP Logged
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Oh Maggie, what a dear, dear, love story  Thanks for sharing!
Love,
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Angie Mc
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Mimip
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| Posted: Jan 24 2013 at 6:48am | IP Logged
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Oh my, what a powerful story about touch.
Thank you for being open about it.
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JennGM
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Mimip wrote:
Oh my, what a powerful story about touch.
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I will never thinking about the sign of peace the same way again. Thank you for being so open.
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Jennifer G. Miller
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MaryM
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Yes, that is an incredibly powerful story, Maggie
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: avoiding hand shaking at mass
