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kingvozzo
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| Posted: Aug 27 2012 at 10:25am | IP Logged
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Any recommendations for a bright, thoughtful, sensitive 8 y.o (9 in September) who says he doesn't believe in God? He didn't go up to Communion yesterday; when I asked him if he refrained because he thinks he doesn't believe, he said yes. I asked him if he wanted to ask Fr. how he should handle receiving when he's struggling with doubt, and he said yes.
when he asked Fr. "Is it ok to receive communion if you don't believe in God but you want to believe?" I was SO relieved that he said he wanted to believe! Fr. of course assured him it was okay as long as he wanted to believe.
He seems a bit on the young side for this type of issue...he's never been a big "participant" in prayers and Mass. He's a wiggle-worm, and finds it difficult to sit still during Mass, and I think that's always been a bit of a turn-off.
His 2 patrons are John the Baptist & Maximilian Kolbe, 2 wonderful martyrs, s o I have been begging their aid, as well as our Blessed Mother.
Prayers are much appreciated. Any practical, concrete tips for me? I'm going to step up our 'study" of the saints...living the liturgical year and following "Catholic Mosaic."
I'm also making sure we get to Confession about 1x month. I've been assuring him that doubt and struggle is okay, and very common, but I'd love to hear some experiences from momma's who've been there with younger kids.
Thanks, ladies!
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Noreen
Wife to Ed
Mom to 4 great kids and 10 sweet ones in Our Lady's arms
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kristinannie
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| Posted: Aug 27 2012 at 12:40pm | IP Logged
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My kids are smaller so I haven't dealt with this yet, but have you asked him what is it that he has trouble believing? There might be one aspect of God that he has trouble accepting. Maybe our advice would be better if we knew why he didn't believe.
I also think he sounds very bright. He might just need a little space to come to this understanding on his own. Maybe you could read stories about saints who didn't believe or saints who had huge conversion experiences. i.e. St Paul, St Augustine (and you could be his St. Monica since it is her feast day  ), St Edith Stein, etc.
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John Paul 8.5
Meredith Rose 7
Dominic Michael 4.5
Katherine Elizabeth 8 months
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JennGM
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I love Stories to Learn By by Father John Koenig, OOP from Daughters of St. Paul. There are great stories that help a child "see" truth about God.
And the stories by Father Brennan (Angel Food stories) are another area to read.
Both help nurture thoughtfulness and thinking on their own.
I think this questions can arise for several reasons:
1) This often happens if there is one parent who is not a Catholic, particularly the father.
2) The child might take all the religious talk as too much for him. He starts feeling spoon fed and not allowed to "walk" on his own. He wants to explore and find answers on his own. This is where "strewing" and indirect stories would be good.
3) Sometimes words might fail to express what he's feeling, so it might just be some small aspects he's trying to sort out. At this stage there is a lot of discovering and testing the physical, and to not being able to "test" the physical and see God is hard.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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RyaneM
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I second Jenn's recommendation of the Angel Food Stories. We have been doing one story each day with our morning basket and my 7 yr. has really enjoyed them. They are gentle but like Jenn mention really nurture that thoughtfulness.
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Ryane in NY 
Mama to ds (3/05), ds(1/09) and dd (4/10)
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hmbress
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My oldest (9) also started expressing doubts about the Eucharist from time to time at age 8. He doesn't have trouble believing in the Incarnation, or the Resurrection, just the Eucharist being Jesus.
I actually haven't been overly concerned, in fact I find it to be a good thing in a way. How many children grow up Catholic (or any religion for that matter) then fall away as soon as they go off to college because they've never had the opportunity to internalize the faith, to make it their own, to choose it for themselves? I think it's great that he's comfortable enough to express these doubts. And really, it IS pretty unbelievable, isn't it, that God would humble himself like that?
Strewing good inspiring saint stories is a great idea. Recently, as I was running out of shelving for our school books (I am a used book sale junkie!!) in the learning room, I moved all the religion picture and chapter books up to the boys' room. They are now naturally reading these on their own before bed and sometimes when they wake up as well. And it's amazing - both of them, in the space of only about 2 weeks, have exhibited remarkably improved behavior! It's as if some of their long-standing character defects have melted away overnight! My oldest is all of a sudden saying "Yes, Mom" when I ask him to do something, and doing it cheerfully instead of complaining and grumbling every single time. And he is being more prayerful at daily Mass as well. The youngest (6), just this morning, told me he's trying to be just like Mary, as he responded to my impatient tone of voice with gentleness by giving me a hug to make me feel better and saying he was praying for me! We have a book called "Just Like Mary" that he has apparently been reading.
Hmmm, maybe I should follow their lead and get back to my former habit of starting and ending my days with spiritual reading ...
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Heather Rose (ds13, ds10)
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: 8 y.o doesn't believe in God :-(
