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Kathryn
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| Posted: Sept 16 2010 at 7:28am | IP Logged
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I know there are a few past topics on this but wondered opinions about our particular situation. For our first 3, my husband's parents are the godparents. They do attend Mass and are much more faithful than they were even when we married and even when our first was born 11 1/2 years ago. My only "problem" I suppose it their lack of...ummm...doing anything special in that role. I mean, they're grandparents and godparents and our kids are #s 11, 12 and 13 for them. They're also godparents to several other grandchildren but all those children and grandchildren no longer are practicing Catholics. I think they try so hard to be "fair" to everyone, so they don't do anything special for anyone and are very hands-off grandparents in general. I would really like much more involvement from godparents and they are really are only adult choice. Seems sad considering my DH is youngest of 7 and the other 6 are all fallen away from the church.
Sooo...my question is whether to just have them be godparents to this baby #4 OR even consider our somewhat mature 11 1/2 year old DD and our somewhat immature 10 yo DS?!
Thanks,
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Kathryn in TX
(dd 16, ds 15, dd 8, dd 5)
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JennGM
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Everyone has their own views on what role the godparent should play for their family. For us, the role is minor because in most ways we are covering the bases for their religious upbringing. There are little ways where the child feels special or has a special bond with his godparent, and vice versa (the godparent remembers to pray and give special attention, not necessarily gifts, but with words and actions to remind the child of the bond).
Anyway, unless your diocese has a younger age or your parish priest makes the exception, the Code of Canon Law stipulates 16 years old to be a godparent:
Quote:
Can. 872 In so far as possible, a person being baptized is to be assigned a sponsor. In the case of an adult baptism, the sponsor's role is to assist the person in Christian initiation. In the case of an infant baptism, the role is together with the parents to present the child for baptism, and to help it to live a Christian life befitting the baptized and faithfully to fulfill the duties inherent in baptism.
Can. 873 One sponsor, male or female, is sufficient; but there may be two, one of each sex.
Can. 874 ß1 To be admitted to undertake the office of sponsor, a person must:
1ƒ be appointed by the candidate for baptism, or by the parents or whoever stands in their place, or failing these, by the parish priest or the minister; to be appointed the person must be suitable for this role and have the intention of fulfilling it;
2ƒ be not less than sixteen years of age, unless a different age has been stipulated by the diocesan Bishop, or unless the parish priest or the minister considers that there is a just reason for an exception to be made;
3ƒ be a catholic who has been confirmed and has received the blessed Eucharist, and who lives a life of faith which befits the role to be undertaken;
4ƒ not labor under a canonical penalty, whether imposed or declared;
5ƒ not be either the father or the mother of the person to be baptized.
ß2 A baptized person who belongs to a non-Catholic ecclesial community may be admitted only in company with a catholic sponsor, and then simply as a witness to the baptism. |
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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Kathryn
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JennGM wrote:
| Everyone has their own views on what role the godparent should play for their family. For us, the role is minor because in most ways we are covering the bases for their religious upbringing. |
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Yes, there's obviously a difference between expectations (from me mainly) and the role they play as godparents specifically. Although we, as the parents, are invested 100% in their religious upbringing, I think having other Catholic influences is how to maintain children staying IN the church once they are old enough to decide. Being a convert from Protestantism, I guess I see how easily it is to "leave" a religion when there aren't strong (family) ties. Even from our Baptism classes, they strongly encourage choosing godparents that will be available to help in our role in raising strong Catholic children.
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Kathryn in TX
(dd 16, ds 15, dd 8, dd 5)
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JennGM
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| Posted: Sept 16 2010 at 11:45am | IP Logged
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Kathryn wrote:
JennGM wrote:
| Everyone has their own views on what role the godparent should play for their family. For us, the role is minor because in most ways we are covering the bases for their religious upbringing. |
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Yes, there's obviously a difference between expectations (from me mainly) and the role they play as godparents specifically. Although we, as the parents, are invested 100% in their religious upbringing, I think having other Catholic influences is how to maintain children staying IN the church once they are old enough to decide. Being a convert from Protestantism, I guess I see how easily it is to "leave" a religion when there aren't strong (family) ties. Even from our Baptism classes, they strongly encourage choosing godparents that will be available to help in our role in raising strong Catholic children. |
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I should have said that we pick godparents first thinking if we die, they will resume our role as religious providers for our children. So if that's already established, the day-to-day influence of a godparent in minimal. There is one godparent that wasn't really evaluated in that manner, only that he was "family" and there was an obligation, and we strongly regret that situation. But the other godparent is so strong, we don't have to worry.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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Paula in MN
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Here's a question, based on Canon 874. What if you find out after the fact that the person chosen to be a Godparent was never confirmed? I don't think you have your child baptized again. Do you seek out a new Godparent?
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 Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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JennGM
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Paula in MN wrote:
| Here's a question, based on Canon 874. What if you find out after the fact that the person chosen to be a Godparent was never confirmed? I don't think you have your child baptized again. Do you seek out a new Godparent? |
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Paula, do you have more than one godparent? Does one fulfill all the obligations?
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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allegiance_mom
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In order to be a Godparent, a person has to obtain a letter from their parish priest stating that they are in fact a confirmed and practicing Catholic in good standing at their home parish. I can't imaging a situation where a godparent was never confirmed, because they would not be able to obtain that letter. The last line of 874 allows for a non-Catholic "Christian witness" as long as the other godparent is Catholic. Maybe that was the case?
Do you have any Catholic friends? Often homeschoolers might meet suitable couples for godparenting in a Catholic homeschool support group.
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Allegiance Mom in NY
Wife 17 years
Mom to two boys, 14 and 8, and one pre-born babe in Heaven (Jan 2010)
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JodieLyn
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I was just thinking we're in the reverse of our situation 13 years ago.. we actually have 4 couples here at our Parish who we'd be comfortable asking them to be godparents. And all in all.. we've found it much better to ask someone local (of course that doesn't mean we or they stay local) who's active in the church, to be godparents than looking for anyone with any family connection.
Paula - you can't get a new godparent if the first set falls through for some reason.. but your child will have a chance to pick a sponser for Confirmation, and it may be that godparents to others of your children might take on some of the role or someone else in your parish might take an interest in that child.
I take comfort in perhaps that connection will work "backwards" and the child's prayers for their godparents will help get the situation turned right side up.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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ekbell
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allegiance_mom wrote:
| In order to be a Godparent, a person has to obtain a letter from their parish priest stating that they are in fact a confirmed and practicing Catholic in good standing at their home parish. |
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This isn't actually true in every parish.
I've had babies baptized in four parishes (three dioceses) in Canada and have found that the amount of confirmation required for godparents varied widely. (at one parish they didn't even bother to tell me about Confirmation requirements for godparents although it might have been in the pamphlet).
None of the parishes actually asked for letters, although our current parish priest might have asked if the godparents weren't involved members of the parish.
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Choosing Godparents
