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MrsM
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| Posted: Aug 25 2010 at 9:33pm | IP Logged
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My very good friend of many years believes that she is having supernatural experiences relating to the BVM and Medjugorje. Seeing auras surrounding statues, smelling roses, hearing voices, the BVM appearing during prayers, etc. She spoke to me at length today, sharing this with me because she thought I would understand, but I didn't know what I should say. I did ask her what her dh thought about everything, and she told me that he didn't know because she hadn't told him. Her exact words were, "He's not advanced enough."  Honestly, I am crying. We live on different sides of the world, and only see each other every few years, but we've always considered ourselves best friends. I'm so worried, and I don't know if I should discuss my concerns with her. She is sure that she and I are on the same page, and I'm afraid to tell her that I am skeptical of Medjugorje. I don't want her to feel like she can't talk to me, or that I think she's lying (I don't, btw), especially when I know she's been going to daily Mass and praying the full Rosary every day, and feels so close to God. It's mainly the comment about her dh that has me concerned.
I hope someone here can give me some good advice.
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Lynn in California
Homeschooling dd13, dd11, ds10, and ds8
Mom to Miracle Baby ds3
Mom to darling Elizabeth and Francis, held in Mary's arms and always in my heart
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Aug 25 2010 at 9:51pm | IP Logged
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Lynn, my best advice is to encourage her to talk to her spiritual director if she has one, and to find one if she does not. A good spiritual director can help her on so many levels and can explain the theology and the Church's teaching behind Marian apparitions in a way she would probably respect.
I am sure she is close to God through her devotions, as you describe them. If she is seeing the Blessed Mother, she needs spiritual direction (not because her visions are bad - far from it - but because this is the appropriate path).
If she has no one who could direct her spiritually at home, I hope someone here can suggest a spiritual director for her.
I will pray for her, and for you, as she begins her search.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Teachin'Mine2
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I certainly can't say whether what your friend is experiencing is real or not. But I can tell you that there is so much misinformation out there about Medjugorje. It's a shame because the Blessed Mother is appearing there and has beautiful messages to help us to grow closer to her Son. She speaks of peace and prayer, of conversion and confession, of praying for those who do not believe in God, of receiving Holy Eucharist, of praying the rosary daily with our families, of praying for our youth, of reading Holy Scriptures. All of her messages - every single one of them in the past 29 years - have been in accord with the teachings of the Catholic Church, have no doctrinal errors, and have been leading countless people to conversion and vocations.
I agree that she should pray for guidance on getting a Spiritual Director. I've not heard of others hearing the Blessed Mother speaking to them, but certainly have heard of numerous accounts of the scent of roses and other signal graces. A SD will help her to discern. It's just unusual how she said that he's not advanced enough, because the Blessed Mother appearing or speaking to someone has nothing to do with them or their level of spirituality. Ivan talks about how early on in the apparitions he asked the Blessed Mother why he was chosen and she replied that she doesn't always choose the best. He laughs about how he never asked the question again. 
On the 25th of the month, the Blessed Mother gives a message for everyone through Marija, one of the six visionaries. Today's message:
Dear children! With great joy, also today, I desire to call you anew: pray, pray, pray. May this time be a time of personal prayer for you. During the day, find a place where you will pray joyfully in a recollected way. I love you and bless you all. Thank you for having responded to my call.
These messages are so beautiful. We are living in a time of great grace.
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mom of one 13yo dd
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cathhomeschool
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| Posted: Aug 25 2010 at 11:41pm | IP Logged
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Lynn, I would also encourage her to seek spiritual direction and would be concerned about the husband comment as well.
Praying for the Holy Spirit to guide all involved!
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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MrsM
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| Posted: Aug 26 2010 at 12:28am | IP Logged
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Thank you all. I should have included that she does indeed have a spiritual director. He is the one who recommended that she be very careful with whom she shared her experiences. I gather from her that he believes they are genuine. I did not specifically ask her if he told her not to tell her dh.
By advanced, I think she means that her dh is not in the same place as she is spiritually. He is a faithful, practicing Catholic, but he works in a scientific field and I don't think he has patience for these things.
To add a little more, she has always been sensitive to the spiritual world. For example, many years ago when she was hearing unusual knocking sounds in her apartment, she attributed it to the souls in purgatory reminding her to pray for them. I think that is so sweet, and really shows her heart, but back then I just wondered if it wasn't only pipes banging or something.
Ugh. I don't know. Lately all of our conversations have been about rosaries turning gold and the like, with an assumption on her part that I feel the same way about these things as she does. But when she told me today about her visions and everything else, I didn't know what to say. Which is why I asked what her dh thought about it. I'm disturbed that she's sharing with me what she wouldn't tell him, and what it might mean. It seems to fit with my concern that she might be being deceived by the evil one.
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Lynn in California
Homeschooling dd13, dd11, ds10, and ds8
Mom to Miracle Baby ds3
Mom to darling Elizabeth and Francis, held in Mary's arms and always in my heart
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MaryM
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As has been suggested by several people already, encouragement to seek spiritual direction is helpful, so it's good she has one. I think this is such a sensitive topic and beyond our expertise as individuals to address. I feel for you - this is a very tough situation.
In regards to Medjugorje, the Vatican in March 2010 announced the formation of a commission to investigate the reported Marian apparitions at Medjugorje. Since Medjugorje has been a source of both enthusiasm and divisions among Catholics since 1981, until there is an official pronouncement, it is the recommendation of the board to keep discussion of Marian apparitions to those which have been formally approved.
FYI, EWTN has a summary of Church teaching on private revelation/apparitions which hopefully is helpful.
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Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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JodieLyn
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Lynn, you might try using lots of *I* sentences when talking to her.. tell her how if it was you that you'd feel uncomfortable and worried about it being evil.. so it's a good thing it's not you... just ways to bring up your concerns without naysaying HER feelings and impressions.
I'd be less concerned with the SD advising less sharing than if the visions themselves were telling her not to share.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Angie Mc
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Lynn, you are such a good friend to be a safe place for her. I know how it feels to be deeply concerned for a friend.
I've been in a similar situation (not apparition related) when I was "the one" safe place for a friend. Eventually, I had to tell her that I felt too much responsibility, having been given so much private information about very serious matter that had to do with her safety. I asked her to find another resource (which in your case, your friend has her spiritual director and hopefully her husband) and I asked if we could continue our friendship by discussing other matters outside of this topic.
There are limits to friendships. Praise God that there aren't limits to our love and care for friends. Our prayers, especially to St. Michael, can help us through times of troubles.
I'm praying for you both.
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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Teachin'Mine2
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The commission headed by Cardinal Ruini won't be making any declaration about the apparitions as they are ongoing. Apparitions have to end to get formal declaration from the Church as far as their authenticity. Until then, they will remain neither approved nor condemned. But in keeping with the forum rules, I won't discuss this further, but many are thinking that international shrine status will be granted. 
As far as your concerns that your friend's experiences may be coming from the evil one, that is always a possibility. Many have tested apparitions in the past with holy water and have asked the Blessed Mother to praise God. Both of these are good ways to help to know the origin, and if it is the Blessed Mother, she will certainly understand. But her Spiritual Director should really be guiding her on all of this. I'm still not getting why she wouldn't share any of this with her husband.
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MrsM
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| Posted: Aug 27 2010 at 9:35am | IP Logged
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Thank you all for your thoughtful words of advice. I will be thinking about everything you've written, and praying about it. Your prayers for my dear friend are so appreciated!
Can I just say that this board is precious me? Bless you! 
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Lynn in California
Homeschooling dd13, dd11, ds10, and ds8
Mom to Miracle Baby ds3
Mom to darling Elizabeth and Francis, held in Mary's arms and always in my heart
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Supernatural Experiences?
