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MamaFence
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| Posted: June 11 2010 at 9:47pm | IP Logged
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Lately, my girls (5 and nearly 4) are very reluctant to sit still--much less fold hands--and be respectful and prayerful during our prayer time. It's so frustrating to me! How can I model and help teach them how not only to act, but that prayer is a wonderful time to connect with God?
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Gina, mother to 4
DD 7yr (11.04)
DD 5yr (6.06)
DS 3yr (6.08)
DS 2yr (11.09)
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: June 12 2010 at 6:28pm | IP Logged
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My advice would be to keep their prayer time--the time in which they are expected to actively participate-- short and sweet, even if yours goes on longer.
Figure out how long you think they can keep respectful (even if it's only for one Hail Mary) and require only that much of them. This way you can praise them for their good behavior, and then send them on their way while you finish up. Invite them to stay longer if they wish, but don't require it. Gradually as they mature and respond to your praise you can ask a bit more of them.
The idea is to keep prayer time positive for them so they come to see it as pleasurable and not a tiresome burden. Heap on the praise for good behavior (ex: "Oh, Mary must be smiling at you for saying that Hail Mary so beautifully!") and discuss improper behavior at a separate time, suggesting improvements little steps at a time, modeling for them all the while.
Hope that helps.
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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herdingkittens
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| Posted: June 13 2010 at 10:15pm | IP Logged
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That can be challenging at those ages. I remember my husband and I feeling exhausted after our family night prayers sometimes when they were 4 or 5 and under. SO, you are not alone! 
Here's a couple things that worked for us:
-Have them lead the prayer. For our family night prayers, we pray a decade, offering personal intentions, and do a litany of saints. Usually we each take turns with each Hail Mary and they can offer their intentions and call upon their favorite Saints. SOmetimes, we will have one child lead the whole decade or one of them when we pray the whole rosary. They love being able to lead.
-My husband purchased a sweet little painting of a young Mary kneeling in prayer and put it in the girls' room. We would tell our then 3 year old, "Let's see if we can look just like Mary when we pray!" She really gave it her all. 
-Even if you have a certain prayer you do each night, maybe they could each pick a favorite closing prayer and pray that, so that they feel more involved.
I don't know if any of that will help, as we are still in training!! ha ha! But that is the little I have found helpful! 
Peace!
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guitarnan
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| Posted: June 13 2010 at 10:21pm | IP Logged
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Light a candle. Somehow candlelight inspires good behavior in younger children, because it's special and beautiful. Perhaps your well-behaved children (for that one Hail Mary - I concur with Theresa on this!) could take turns blowing out the candle if they've been respectful during their (short) prayer time.
(Side note - eating by candlelight greatly improves table manners, too!)
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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MamaFence
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| Posted: June 14 2010 at 7:32am | IP Logged
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oh wonderful ideas! Thank you so much. Maybe it is time for a shake-up of our prayer. Right now it's been two guardian angel prayers, another memorized prayer, and then things we're thankful for and asking for.
Unfortunately we're in the middle of a gigantic move across the country, so I think candle-light will have to wait until we're maybe at my in-laws' house for a few weeks...but I really like that idea.
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tm2boys
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| Posted: June 14 2010 at 10:10am | IP Logged
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My boys have those little battery operated tea lights in their prayer boxes. I am sometimes amazed at how long they will sit on their beds looking at prayer cards to the soft glow of a tea light. Meditating on holy images is a beautiful form of prayer for both the young and old.
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Nique
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| Posted: June 14 2010 at 11:22am | IP Logged
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Good thread and posts! Thanks everybody!!
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I had always thought that once you grew up you could do anything you wanted - stay up all night or eat ice cream straight out of the container. ~Bill Bryson
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MamaFence
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| Posted: June 14 2010 at 2:42pm | IP Logged
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oh, the battery tea lights sound fantastic!
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ALmom
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| Posted: June 14 2010 at 3:38pm | IP Logged
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tm2boys:
Love the tea light idea (where did you get it and what does it look like?). I think it would really be a help to even my older boys but especially my littlest guy. Ditto the whole idea of keeping it short.
We are relookinga at our prayer time in the house and trying to rebalance family prayer and individual prayer. My oldest were beginning to hate family prayer because of how undisciplined we all our and how each of us would drag it out with our own foibles (too much stuff from me, others dawdling and making the rest of us wait, etc) so it isn't a difficulty just for the littlest folks. In addition to keeping it short - we found routine to be important.
Routine seems to be another key. One mom described things as punctuating their day with appointments with the Lord and they take very seriously any lateness here.
So we are trying to agree upon gathering times that respect the oldest children's need not to be forever interrupted while keeping things brief for the sake of all. Many times throughout the day at natural pauses seem to be the key for us.
I think having some quiet, alone time built into the day with access to beautiful pictures and such is important. My olders do well with private prayer - but my youngest still needs to be guided and I need to be disciplined.
So far we are looking at morning prayer with short scripture reading, angelus at noon, divine mercy at 4 (it is traditionally prayed at 3 in honor of the passion but that time just will not work for us, so we are shifting it somewhat but plan to hold ourselves accountable for being on time), scripture reading/spiritual reading with dinner and then rosary with act of contrition and St. Joseph prayer at night.
My oldest will carve out their own private time but I asked them to give me some idea or post some means so I don't interrupt their time with the Lord to ask them to do stuff for me (since they all find a time that works for them, I haven't always known exactly when it was. My youngest, I was trying to think how to encourage him - and the tea light with beautiful meditative pictures and my example ought to help. Thanks for bringing this up.
Janet
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MamaFence
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| Posted: June 15 2010 at 7:55am | IP Logged
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Janet- Great idea on pausing throughout the day to pray. I keep wanting to create a quiet time in the afternoon for all of us, and I think when I get that done, it'll be a good time to have them look at pictures. Maybe let them color pictures of saints?
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Maggie
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| Posted: June 15 2010 at 7:59am | IP Logged
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Ah--yes...the preschool crowd. :)
I have a 5yo and almost 3yo.
I very much try to encourage them to pray in all that they do...but not necessarily formally...in fact, more often informal.
Like...
In the mornings, we go say "good morning" to Jesus and Mother Mary and I ask the children to ask Jesus to help them with something today.
During the day, if they almost trip or fall...or almost break something...and it is "saved" we always say "thank you" to Jesus and our guardian angels. A lot.
If they are fighting or hitting, we take the opportunity to ask Mother Mary to pray for them to stop hitting, etc.
They also ask one of their miscarried siblings to pray for them (they don't know about the other two). It is adorable when they do this. My 3yo does almost every night.
And singing...
And...when we play...ie: paper dolls...they go to Mass. A lot.
We do a pretty lengthy Mass...which, Mommy sometimes does not have patience for. But it is a good teaching tool.
So...there can be prayer in all things...even play.
And then the formal stuff follows as well...but knowing that their attention spans are limited...we rarely do a full rosary with them...but they will do a full rosary at Children's Adoration every week...
Just look for the little opportunities for prayer... :)
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Wife to dh (12 years) Mama to dd (10) ds (8), dd (1), ds (nb) and to Philip Mary (5/26/09), Lucy Joy (12/6/09), and Margaret Mary (3/6/10) who entered Heaven before we had a chance to hold them.
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MamaFence
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| Posted: June 15 2010 at 9:37am | IP Logged
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Maggie--what awesome ideas!! Thank you for your advice, too. I will remember it and start trying those informal all-day-long prayer moments. :D
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dakotamidnight
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| Posted: June 15 2010 at 12:02pm | IP Logged
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I've found that for my DD {almost 4}, adding in a prayer at a time at bedtime works well. I started a few months back with "May your Guardian Angel Watch Over you", and we've now added in the Sign of the Cross and a Hail Mary, in addition to asking her Guardian Angel to help her be good {Big issue with her right now}.
She does watch her rosary video {Best of Little Children} and will spontaneously start singing the rosary from it.
When we start school with her this fall we'll add in a single decade of the rosary every day, probably either mid-morning or around lunch. She is NOT a morning person, so I've not tried then. I am trying to find a good catholic children's CD or DVD even that I can put on in the morning as she gets things put to music very well.
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: How to encourage prayerfulness?
