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mom2mpr
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| Posted: April 09 2010 at 7:18am | IP Logged
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I am going to wait a little longer, talk to my spiritual director and pastor, but I am thinking dd may not be ready for FHC next year.
She is 7. An immature 7. Really shy. Late bloomer, I am sure. Not reading. Has some emotional issues and jealousy of big brother--and I admit I would feel the same. She is smart-but stubborn.
Most every time I approach her to learn something she balks. She will not participate in mass at all. No sign of the cross, blessing with holy water,singing, prayers, sign of peace...nada. She knows the prayers and will say at home, if she wants.
I am torn with putting her in PSR next year for some socialization-but realize she will be there with the ps kids and not the sweet kids from our parish school that she see's in Little Flowers once a month. I am also thinking if she is in PSR she will have to answer to someone besides me and be more successful. Yes, I am a homeschool mom failure with this child 
I am wondering if anyone out there has delayed FHC and for what reasons.
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Anne, married to dh 16 years!, ds,(97), Little One (02), and dd (02).
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Barbara C.
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| Posted: April 09 2010 at 12:24pm | IP Logged
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I considered delaying FHE with my oldest daughter (turned 7 in November). She was constantly (and sometimes still does) saying that she wasn't sure she believed in God. And while I knew she understood the Eucharist intellectually, I'm not sure even now that she understands what a precious gift that it is. Perhaps that's relatively normal at this age.
During Advent I went to confession and mentioned that I had three kids. As I was leaving Father asked me if one of my kids would be coming in next. I explained my dilemma, and he told me to go ahead and let her make her FHE. So, she'll be receiving in June. And the preparation has gone way better than I expected.
She still whines about going to Church. She is still stubborn about participating. She's most likely to annoy her sisters during Mass. But she did well with her First Confession, and I'm hoping the Eucharistic graces really help things. 
My oldest child is also my most difficult child. There are temperament issues that we struggle with on a regular basis. Plus, she's carried some religious baggage from before God finally dragged my husband into the Church last year.
She doesn't necessarily remember all her prayers, or like I said, participate fully, but I think she has a really good understanding of the really important concepts. There have been many times when my Baptist MIL has said that my daughter has discussed the teachings of the Church matter-of-factly even though she was fighting me tooth and nail the whole time I tried to impart them to her.
Is PSA your parish's RE class? We homeschool religious education because I don't want my daughter thinking of her faith as just another class, school subject, or social activity. And most RE programs have the same flaws as regular school--like emphasis on the textbook answers rather than real understanding.
Just like with anything else, if I thought she was incapable of understanding (in this case, the meaning and reverence for the Eucharist) I would delay. If it is a matter of being too stubborn for instruction, I would chalk it up as a disciplinary issue that needs to be settled.
Many prayers as you make this decision. I was so there just a few months ago. I would definitely discuss it with a priest or spiritual adviser.
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Barbara
Mom to "spirited" dd(9), "spunky" dd (6), "sincere" dd (3), "sweet" dd (2), and baby girl #5 born 8/1/12!!
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JennGM
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| Posted: April 09 2010 at 2:30pm | IP Logged
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I agree with Barbara that you should ask spiritual advice about delaying.
But I do think of St. Bernadette, who couldn't learn her catechism to make her First Communion. St. John Vianney couldn't keep his Latin straight and barely was ordained.
In the Eastern rite infants receive the Eucharist and Confirmation simultaneously with Baptism.
I find it very helpful to go back and read Quam Singulari by Pope St. Pius X which adjusted the age for First Communion.
It is short and easy reading, but helps understand the view that delaying too long on the idea that they don't understand is denying the graces. Only a few things need to be understood before receiving Communion. I'm posting the list of things obligated by his encyclical:
Pius X wrote:
1. The age of discretion, both for Confession and for Holy Communion, is the time when a child begins to reason, that is about the seventh year, more or less. From that time on begins the obligation of fulfilling the precept of both Confession and Communion.
2. A full and perfect knowledge of Christian doctrine is not necessary either for First Confession or for First Communion. Afterwards, however, the child will be obliged to learn gradually the entire Catechism according to his ability.
3. The knowledge of religion which is required in a child in order to be properly prepared to receive First Communion is such that he will understand according to his capacity those Mysteries of faith which are necessary as a means of salvation (necessitate medii) and that he can distinguish between the Bread of the Eucharist and ordinary, material bread, and thus he may receive Holy Communion with a devotion becoming his years.
4. The obligation of the precept of Confession and Communion which binds the child particularly affects those who have him in charge, namely, parents, confessor, teachers and the pastor. It belongs to the father, or the person taking his place, and to the confessor, according to the Roman Catechism, to admit a child to his First Communion.
5. The pastor should announce and hold a General Communion of the children once a year or more often, and he should on these occasions admit not only the First Communicants but also others who have already approached the Holy Table with the above-mentioned consent of their parents or confessor. Some days of instruction and preparation should be previously given to both classes of children.
6. Those who have charge of the children should zealously see to it that after their First Communion these children frequently approach the Holy Table, even daily if possible, as Jesus Christ and Mother Church desire, and let this be done with a devotion becoming their age. They must also bear in mind that very grave duty which obliged them to have the children attend the public Catechism classes; if this is not done, then they must supply religious instruction in some other way.
7. The custom of not admitting children to Confession or of not giving them absolution when they have already attained the use of reason must be entirely abandoned. The Ordinary shall see to it that this condition ceases absolutely, and he may, if necessary, use legal measures accordingly.
8. The practice of not administering the Viaticum and Extreme Unction to children who have attained the use of reason, and of burying them with the rite used for infants is a most intolerable abuse. The Ordinary should take very severe measures against those who do not give up the practice. |
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Now of course, delaying a year isn't the same thing as Pius X is referring to. BUT, I am NOT in the school that the child has to have full comprehension and understanding before receiving the sacraments. I think the devil works overtime to fight against receiving Holy Communion and Penance and Confirmation. I truly believe once the child receives the graces of the sacrament help him/her work on these very things you are struggling with.
I'm so happy Confirmation is starting at younger ages. I think it's with the sacrament that we are armed to be soldiers of Christ. There is so much at this age to combat against the world. The graces are needed!
I guess what I'm saying is sometimes we're putting the cart before the horse. The true understanding might not come until after the graces fill their souls.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: April 09 2010 at 2:37pm | IP Logged
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Beautiful post Jenn. It was what I was trying to "grasp" (pregnant brain you know) to say.. that the graces recieved may be what you need to fight the things that we may feel should hold you back.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Erin
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| Posted: April 09 2010 at 3:51pm | IP Logged
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I seriously considered delaying with one of my children in particular, actually with each child I have always worried if they are spiritually mature enough. And each time I have noticed a spiritual growth after FHC, I now know it is the graces they receive from the reception of the Eucharist. I no longer worry. That's my experience, I'll pray for you. 
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Erin
Faith Filled Days
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Delay FHC?
