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Sarah M
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Here in the Seattle archdiocese, children prepare to receive the Sacraments of Reconciliation & First Eucharist in 2nd grade, and then the Sacrament of Confirmation in 10th grade.
We are moving in the spring, however, and I've noticed on every parish website that I've visited in that diocese, that they celebrate Sacraments of First Eucharist & Confirmation in 2nd grade, and then First Reconciliation in 4th grade.
I'm so confused. Shouldn't children be participating in Reconciliation before they receive the Eucharist??
Is this normal? I'm a convert and am not very knowledgeable about these kinds of things. Can anyone shed some light on this for me?
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stellamaris
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I can't imagine the children not receiving First Reconciliation before First Communion. Part of preparing for Communion is confession, and what if they should seriously sin before 4th grade? I wonder if the idea behind this is that children under that grade can't sin, but this doesn't really correlate with the tradition of the Church which pretty much sets the age of reason (that is, when a person knows enough to sin and know it) at around 7 years old. I would think it would be a very negative thing for a child to receive communion if they felt they had sinned seriously...it would blunt their tender consciences. Confirmation is usually later, but historically it could be at a younger age. Every bishop sets these sacraments slightly differently, but this sounds very different!
I don't know if it would work for you, but when we moved to Delaware, we arranged for our son to receive First Holy Communion in Virginia next year. I was not happy with the CCD material in Delaware and didn't want him participating in the classes, but they also don't allow home preparation. Having him receive the sacraments in our old diocese will work well for us.
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Caroline
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JodieLyn
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Well as far as confirmation.. don't the Byzantine churches (in communion with Rome) give baptism, communion and comfirmation all at the same time when they're infants? That would worry me less than not recieving First Reconciliation until they were 9 or 10 when the Church says that the age of reason is about 7.
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Michaela
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I haven't researched the letters listed here, however Women for Faith & Family has an article on First Holy Communion and Penance.
Here is the first paragraph of the article A Letter from the Vatican: First Penance must precede First Communion
Children must receive the Sacrament of Penance before they receive their First Communion, according to a letter sent to the world's bishops by the Vatican Congregations for the Sacraments and Divine Worship and for the Clergy. In the letter, dated March 31, 1977 but released May 19, 1977 the congregations say that in spite of a 1973 declaration on this matter, it is apparent that "dissension and doubts" still exist in some parts of the church regarding the order in which children are to receive these sacraments.
Maybe you could prepare your children for the Sacrament of Confession on your own. Talk to the priest at the new parish (why the parish does it that way -- you prefer Penance then Communion....)
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Michaela
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Barbara C.
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My parish did FHE in 2nd grade and Confession in 4th grade when I was a kid. (Confirmation was in 8th.)
Let me put it this way, I would fight tooth and nail from letting them do that with my kids. Personally, I think it denies the connection between Confession and the Eucharist, making Confession seem superfluous. (What's the point of Confession if you don't realize that you need to be in a state of grace before receiving Communion? At least in a child's view.)
The last time I was "forced" to go to confession was in 8th grade. I did not go to confession again until 2008. I honestly didn't understand the point or the necessity of it. Don't even get me started on how bungled sacramental education was in my Catholic school...
As for the early confirmation, many would argue that sooner is better than later. It's much better than it being treated as "rite of passage into adulthood" or "graduation".
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melanie
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Gosh, I've never heard of this! 
I know the age of confirmation can differ...I think some rites are even confirmed as infants. But I've never heard of not receiving confession before communion, what a shame.
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Melanie
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Sarah M
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The fact that Confirmation is celebrated in 2nd grade does not bother me-- it's the First Eucharist without Reconciliation that concerns me. And it concerns me a lot.
Thanks for the links, Michaela. I think I may call Catholic Answers and see if they can give me some more "backing" so that when I approach the parish I have a good stack of documents behind me. I guess my preference, in this kind of situation, would be to prepare my children at home to make a first confession, and have them do that before they receive First Eucharist in 2nd grade. But I would need the blessing of the Priest to do that, right?
I just hate to be brand new to the diocese and already raising concerns and asking for special allowances.
I did some more online searching and found one parish within the diocese that recently moved toward Reconciliation before First Communion in an effort "to comply with the Universal law of the Church." It is possible (but certainly not preferred-- my dh does not like the idea of traveling to a parish outside of one's boundaries) that we could travel to this parish if necessary.
Hmmmm.... just dinking around some more, I found this statement on the diocese website:
Without prejudice to the responsibility of the parents to determine the readiness of their child to prepare for the sacraments (Guidelines 1 and 2), the preparation program for First Penance is to be offered apart from and prior to the program for First Communion.
So perhaps it won't be difficult to request that my children receive the sacrament of First Penance before Communion.
So then of course the question arises... why is it the norm in so many parishes to go against these sacramental policies?
Ay.
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LisaR
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wow, I did not realize that any Diocese did this craziness anymore! Praying for your family.
can you find a Catholic homeschool support group in that area and solicit advice there?
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MaryM
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This does not surprise me. It was a common practice in many areas about 25 years ago to delay reconciliation until 4th grade - after 1st communion. There are still parishes that consider themselves "progressive" that have continued to do so, basically in disobedience to the Church. So unfortunately some families still face this though much less frequently than in the past.
Since I knew the diocese you were speaking of I wasn't surprised there would be parishes there doing this. I also went to the diocese site and found the policy document for the diocese, which I see you have already found, too. I think that is very clear what the official stated policy is for the diocese and that does support your request. I honestly think you probably should not have a problem approaching the parish - and you shouldn't need more than the policy of the diocese.
I would just make the request, indicate that the request is in keeping with the diocese policy of the preparation for first Penance to be offered prior to the program for First Communion. The parish has no leg to stand on to not comply, so I am hopeful they would give you the go ahead. If not then it would be appropriate to contact the office that oversees sacramental preparation - I'm guessing Evangelization Office, since ours is under that office (but it could be education). But you can check for sure. Indicate that you have talked with your parish pastor with a desire to have your child prepare for and receive the sacrament of penance prior to first communion preparation and reception but have had difficulty with that being honored and ask for assistance in working with your parish.
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I just hate to be brand new to the diocese and already raising concerns and asking for special allowances.
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You aren't asking for special allowances, you are only requesting what is canonically correct and is indicated in their own diocese policy handbook. And it doesn't matter that you are new to the diocese.
And fyi, reconciliation is not a sacrament of record and there isn't anything to stop you from preparing your children and presenting them for the sacrament. You don't need permission (and again reading the document from your soon to be diocese it specifically indicates parents role in determining readiness of child to receive this sacrament).
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| So then of course the question arises... why is it the norm in so many parishes to go against these sacramental policies? |
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Who knows for sure. The parishes that do so will give a variety of reasons for this action. For some it is a conscious agenda, for others its a lack of proper formation. Regardless it is disobedience.
My prayers are with you that this is resolved easily and it is a non-issue. I am praying for the diocese, too - as this is where my son is going to college and where he will be living when he graduates this spring and I worry about that. (The bishop has reached mandatory retirement age this year - so fingers are crossed here  ).
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stacykay
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Hi Sarah,
I don't have any factual info for you, just anecdotal. Not growing up Catholic, either, I just assumed that the proper order was Baptism, Confession, Holy Communion, etc....
When our oldest was in second grade, the parish we were in did it in that order. Then we switched parishes and found that the new parish (same Detroit diocese) did it with Confession in 4th. We simply prepared ds ourselves and took him to confession with us, he told the priest it was his first, and that was fine.
Since #2 ds, that parish made the change to confession before FHC.
I am not sure if our former Archbishop had sent out a letter requesting the conformity with Rome, but it seems that the few churches I was aware of who did it reversed have now changed, too.
Confirmation seems early. I am not familiar enough with church history, to know if this used to be done, and if so, why. The parish we now attend has it in 8th grade. The other parish we like to attend has a two-year somewhat intensive program (I would love to be able to go!) with confirmation in 8th or 9th grades.
Always more to learn!!!
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
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Matilda
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It is my understanding that the pastor is the one who can decide for the parish or individual parishioners. Our pastor, wonderful pastor that he is, decided that he preferred the children understand and participate in Holy Communion and Confession as two separate and distinct sacraments. He has them make their first confession about 6 months PRIOR to their First Holy Communion and asks that they come back at least a few times before making their FHC. We love him!!! He also reminds parents that neither of these first sacraments is a recorded sacrament. Meaning that when your child requests the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony or Holy Orders, they will need documented proof of Baptism only, not FHC or FC.
Now Confirmation is different in our diocese than most places. It happens in the 4th grade. In fact, that reminds me that I have one to prepare for next year! The previous bishop in our diocese lowered the age of Confirmation to the 4th grade because so many children were making their FHC and not coming back for Confirmation. Also, he thought that children needed the graces of that sacrament (and all the sacraments they could get) before reaching those difficult teenage years. I couldn't agree more! My generation grew up thinking that Confirmation was like a rite of passage into adulthood or a Catholic bar mitzvah. But I have never found any information from the Church that confirms that.
THE CATECHISM OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH:
SEE (§§1285-1321)
1302 It is evident from its celbration that the effect of the sacrament of Confirmation is the speical outpouring of the Holy Spirit as once granted to the apostles on the day of Pentecost.
1303 From this fact, Confirmation brings an increase and deepening of baptismal grace:
* it roots us more deeply in the divine filiation which makes us cry, "Abba! Father!"; (Rms 8:15)
* it unites us more firmly to Christ;
* it increases the gifts of the Holy Spirit in us;
* it renders our bond with the Church more perfect;
* it gives us a special strength of the Holy Spirit to spread and defend the faith by word and action as true witnesses of Christ, to confess the name of Christ boldly, and never to be ashamed of the Cross.
Recall then that you have received the spiritual seal, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of right judgement and courage, the spirit of knowledge and reverence, the spirit of holy fear in God's presence. Guard what you have received. God the Father has marked you with His sign; Christ the Lord has confirmed you and has placed His pledge, the Spirit, in your hearts. (Saint Ambrose)
Sort of funny side note:
Husband just reminded me that in Acts 10: 44-49, the Holy Spirit descended upon the unbaptized Gentiles. St. Peter saw this and said, "Woah! Let's get those people baptized!" 
In God's words:
44
While Peter was still speaking these things, the holy Spirit fell upon all who were listening to the word.
45
The circumcised believers who had accompanied Peter were astounded that the gift of the holy Spirit should have been poured out on the Gentiles also,
46
for they could hear them speaking in tongues and glorifying God. Then Peter responded,
47
"Can anyone withhold the water for baptizing these people, who have received the holy Spirit even as we have?"
48
He ordered them to be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ.
49
Then they invited him to stay for a few days.
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Charlotte (Matilda)
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Barbara C.
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That's interesting about FHE and First Reconciliation not having to be recorded, considering we have a$50 administrative fee at our parish.
I still have to meet with the DRE to get all the details, but I think the kids might have to pass some sort of written test before they can go to confession. I know they have to for FHE.
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Barbara
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ekbell
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stacykay wrote:
Hi Sarah,
Confirmation seems early. I am not familiar enough with church history, to know if this used to be done, and if so, why. The parish we now attend has it in 8th grade. The other parish we like to attend has a two-year somewhat intensive program (I would love to be able to go!) with confirmation in 8th or 9th grades.
Always more to learn!!!
God Bless,
Stacy in MI |
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In the early church baptism and confirmation were done together by a bishop.
It became more difficult for the bishop to baptize and confirm everyone once there were a substantial number of the faithful. The Eastern and Western churches developed different but equally valid customs to deal with it.
In the eastern churches the bishop delegates confirmation to the priest, so that baptism and confirmation are still done together, normally during infancy. (see CCC 1312)
In the western church confirmation is normally done by the bishop some time after the age of discretion rather then delegated to a priest. (see CCC 1307 & 1313)
[I expect that the ages would normally have varied widely depending on how often a bishop was able to visit the parish]
However the catechism points out that confirmation may be validly given to any baptized Catholic and indeed should be given to baptized children in danger of death regardless of age. (see CCC 1314)
Given this quote from the Catholic Encyclopedia
On the other hand, its reception is obligatory (necessitate præcepti) "for all those who are able to understand and fulfill the Commandments of God and of the Church. This is especially true of those who suffer persecution on account of their religion or are exposed to grievous temptations against faith or are in danger of death. The more serious the danger so much greater is the need of protecting oneself". (Conc. Plen. Balt. II, n. 250.) and the temptations and trials present in our society I feel strongly that confirmation is best done before adolescence whenever possible.
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JodieLyn
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Here the Bishop can only come every other year.. so our kids are confirmed EITHER in 6th or 7th grade.. just depends how it falls for when the Bishop comes. My oldest was in 6th grade.. my oldest son will be in 7th grade, and my next two the older will be in 7th and the younger in 6th adn be confirmed at the same time. 
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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Topic: ? about Sacramental age
