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Bookswithtea
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Warning:  This is one of those, "I wasn't raised Catholic and have no clue" questions...
I'm wondering...do you feel weird when the priest always knows its you? Is there wisdom in confessing to your local priest in spite of the lack of anonymity, or is this one of those things where its truly preference and there's nothing wrong with heading to the next nearest Catholic church for confession?
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~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
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folklaur
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i think i will PM you my opinion on this
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LLMom
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I go to the same person for the most part. I do this because I need spiritual direction and it helps if the priest knows you and your situations. I know at times, it can be embarrassing to confess certain sins, but they have heard it all. 
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Gloria JMJ
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I agree with Lisa. My priest always knows that it's me and it helps when I need to explain things, he already knows where I'm coming from and can tailor his advise to fit. I once confessed to a priest that didn't know me and found I had to explain so much and didn't feel that he understood me  .
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guitarnan
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A very dear pastor once told me that one of the gifts the Good Lord gives to His priests is that they truly don't remember details of individual confessions. I've since heard other priests say the same thing, that God helps them keep the seal of the confessional without having to bear a huge emotional burden.
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Bookswithtea
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Hmmmmmmmmm...So maybe there is some wisdom in going to someone who knows me? I always feel silly going behind the screen when he saw my entire family in line on the way into the Reconciliation room and we were the only ones there . The truth is I get distracted/nervous when I go face to face. I will stumble over my words and forget things I wanted to say.
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~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
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Bridget
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I have a friend who goes behind the screen but begins his confession with "Father this is ..." it gets any awkwardness out of the way.
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Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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stellamaris
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Dear Books, our Lord is so gracious to us and He does desire to make confession as easy as possible. If it is easier for you to stay behind the screen, do that. If it is less stressful for you to go to a priest who doesn't know you, do that. If it is more convenient to go to a familiar priest confessor, then do that. Always meditate on how easy our dear Lord makes it for us to repent and be absolved, and yet how painfully hard it was for Him to provide this washing away of our sins...even suffering for us the excruciating agony of the Cross. I find when I place my (very ) slight discomfort next to His great Passion, confession becomes much less difficult to bear.
Turn your eyes to Christ, not to your own anxiety.
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Caroline
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greengables
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I, too, confess behind the screen. I have always found it much easier. I still laugh when I ponder about my first realization that the priest knew who I was! He responded about me having a large family. I now laugh at my surprise for we were one of the only large families in that parish and like Books, Father saw our entire family on his way in to the Reconciliation room.
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ALmom
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One thing I find is that whomever you pick as your confessor, it makes sense not to priest hop - there is a temptation to go to someone else when it is the gizillionth time you've confessed the very same thing. There is a certain consistency that both keeps you humble and aware of the need to have a real purpose of ammendment - and make some real efforts after confession. It also means that the priest does sort of get to know you, even if he does forget what you are confessing.
I'm thinking of making a regular appointment just to make sure I actually make it in - the lines are long at our parish, so it is pretty difficult to actually get in sometimes. My children prefer to pretend to be anonymous, so we've respected that and just get in line. (Oh, and sometimes we might let a few individuals go in ahead of us here and there to mix up the line a bit  - but honestly I really don't think the priest is paying that much attention and I've noticed that at communal pennance services where some of the priests have to hear confessions in the aisles and other face to face places - many will intentionally have their head turned. They don't want to remember who you are just as you don't want them to. After all, they cannot even act differently or in any way adjust based on what they hear in confession.
I think one of the most humbling things ever was when I saw Fr. Hardon go into the confessional to one of the priests at EWTN - I noticed cause I happened to be in line for that confessional and he left his prayer book in there by mistake and I got to return it to him.  I thought, gee, confessing to the priest cannot be nearly as difficult as priests confessing to their collegues.
I don't think it really matters whether it is your parish priest or some other priest that you can go to regularly - whomever you chose with whom you are comfortable going. God is wonderfully good and he has set things up to make it easy for us to be reconciled. Whomever you go to, pray for him regularly.
Oh, and I hear repeatedly the same thing about not remembering. I knew one priest with an unbelievable memory for names, a very brilliant man - he knew every parishioner by name (and their children) in a very, very large parish. I was surprised when he commented that no matter what his memory might be in other things, in terms of confession, he had almost instant, and completely total amnesia.
Janet
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Bookswithtea
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I'm really appreciating all your responses, both here and by pm.  I am learning a lot about what works, and it is becoming clear to me that this is a very individual thing.
Thank you! 
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Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
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Bridget
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ALmom wrote:
I think one of the most humbling things ever was when I saw Fr. Hardon go into the confessional to one of the priests at EWTN - I noticed cause I happened to be in line for that confessional and he left his prayer book in there by mistake and I got to return it to him. I thought, gee, confessing to the priest cannot be nearly as difficult as priests confessing to their collegues.
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Not to hijack, but can you imagine being the priest, sitting there hearing confessions, when you hear Fr. Hardon's voice and distinct manner of speaking on the other side of your screen??!! Talk about having to detach yourself...
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florasita
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we have priests who work in the prisons etc. at our parish so they have certainly heard it all . I never ever feel bad or wierd or shy to confess it is the most wonderful sacrament ever from communion that is .
I was not an official catholic either until 2000 and my confession was long ! I debated which priest to go to . Do I go to our priest who will marry us ? who knows our family etc. am I to feel ashamed and hide ? we had 7 visiting priets I could have gone to any of them I prayed . I discerned and no He told me I am to trust in the sacrament . The role of the priest is to represent Him . Not to judge me etc. So I needed to trust Jesus no matter what the reaction of the priest I shall be forgiven if I am truely sorrowful , own my sin and do my penance etc. So I went to the prist . He did judge me and treat me differently afterwards . He is a human being and my confession my sacrament of reconcilliation was excatly as it should be and always is freeing utter freedom . This is what He gives us if we receive His forgiveness . That is our role if we do not accept His gift of forgiveness openly no strings attached then we continue to carry that sin around and are not dealing with it . In the beginning of my formation I was required to have a regular confessor and so I prayed on that . He sent me the most wonderful humble priest I know he is retied oblate over 80yrs old . He is so kind and gentle etc. Everyone goes to him and trusts him which is big in our community because of the abuse aboriginal people have suffered .
Do not be afraid of this sacrament . Remember it is Him whom you are accepting forgivness from . He already knows our sin . He just is so pleased when we take the steps to aknowledge it and take responsibility etc.
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stellamaris
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florasita wrote:
| He did judge me and treat me differently afterwards . |
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Maybe this was a typo? As missing "not"? Priests are required not to act in any way on whatever they hear in confession, including changing their behavior toward you.
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Caroline
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Bookswithtea
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I just wanted to clarify, its not that I am afraid of confession, or nervous to speak honestly, or anything like that. Confession is one of those gifts that really spoke to me as a former evangelical. Its one of the many things I love about being Catholic.
I was trying to express that it feels silly to me to go behind the screen when he knows its me already (because its my entire family lined up and he passes us on the way into the reconciliation room). But at the same time, I tend to focus more on God when I go behind the screen. I was wondering if maybe going somewhere where its more anonymous would be better. But after reading here and praying on it, I've decided that there is wisdom in going to someone regularly. Maybe there are others who also go behind the screen even though Father knows who they are? Maybe its not that uncommon?
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Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
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stellamaris
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Bookswithtea wrote:
| Maybe there are others who also go behind the screen even though Father knows who they are? Maybe its not that uncommon? |
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Absolutely! I know that our parish priest knows exactly who I am even when I am behind the screen, but I am most comfortable kneeling there than sitting in a chair. So I don't think it is uncommon at all for a penitent to confess behind the screen even if they know the priest well (and he knows them).
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Caroline
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florasita
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 Caroline there was not a typo one doing what is supposed to be required and doing it are two different things . All I can do is control my responce not to judge etc. have acceptance people are people , not to go in with expectation or assumtion other than the Truth that Our Lord's forgiveness is real and True . It is up to me to accept this . In the end this priest is a man with the same behaviours as any other human being . I cannot judge him or fault him merely pray maybe he will learn from the expereince . See me as a change , my conversion may help him . If I can change my behaviour maybe he can too he was sent off to study cannon law and is now in a place I think he can serve His people much better .
dear books I am glad you are not afraid
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stellamaris
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florasita wrote:
| Caroline there was not a typo one doing what is supposed to be required and doing it are two different things . All I can do is control my responce not to judge etc. have acceptance people are people , not to go in with expectation or assumtion other than the Truth that Our Lord's forgiveness is real and True . |
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Oh, no, I am so sorry this was true! God bless you for your great charity! How hard that must have been for you, and I am so sad that it happened to you. However, you are right that God is merciful and God expects us to be merciful, too...not always easy, but the fruit of your kindness will be fully seen in Heaven.
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Caroline
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melanie
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It depends on what I have to confess...
I *always* go behind the screen. I was raised going to confession that way, and anything else feels distracting and weird to me. I feel like I"m more honest and forthright behind the screen. Going face to face puts the priest more *there* to me, does that make sense? Just my preference though.
Funny story, I used to live in a very small town for a time, and the priest knew me well. My oldest was a toddler then, and I would go to confession behind the screen, and she would toddle aroudn the confessional, hehe. He'd be like, "Oh, hi Maria!" and I'd still insist on kneeling there behind the screen. Silly, huh?
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Amanda
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I hope I'm not taking this thread off-topic, but I'm wondering: how creative are your confessors with penance? I've only ever been to two priests (one only once, as it was a big penance service in a neighboring parish), and my regular one only ever tells me to tell God I'm sorry and ask him to help me do better.
I was not raised Catholic and sit face-to-face with the priest, although I must admit my eyes are lowered a lot of the time! I've confessed really embarrassing things, too. My husband (who is a cradle Catholic) was too embarrassed to go to Confession in our parish because he knew the priest would know who he was, even behind the screen. I finally got him to go to one of those big Reconciliation services and was so relieved--before that, I don't think he'd been since I'd known him!
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