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MommyD
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| Posted: Nov 16 2009 at 10:26am | IP Logged
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My youngest is 1 month old today. We haven't scheduled her baptism yet (usually it is done by now) because we can't decide on Godparents. We've already used all of the Catholic relatives and we hate to ask them again because they all live at least 8 hours away and we don't want to make them feel like they have to travel here (most likely they wouldn't anyway and then we'd just have to find people to stand in for them). And, honestly, I don't feel like having a house full of guests for a weekend. We had house guests for the ENTIRE month of October (long story) and I'm still burnt out. I just want to have her baptised and move on.
What is the age limit on Godparents? Could my 8 and 7 year olds do it? Do we have to have Godparents? I know that sounds terrible but they really don't do anything (I know what they are supposed to do but the reality is that all they do is stand up there at the baptism)?
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Michaela
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| Posted: Nov 16 2009 at 10:39am | IP Logged
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Wow! Your questions are so timely. I'm searching right now in the archives and online to find out more info on Godparents.
No, your 7 and 8 yr olds cannot be Godparents. I was hoping my 13yo could be for our little one. The Godparent must be 16.
ETA: the more I find out about the qualificaitons and DISqualifications to be a Godparent I wonder if there is really anyone out there who qualified (not on the 4Real boards   ).
love you all -- you're such a special group of ladies!
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Nov 16 2009 at 10:41am | IP Logged
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Ask your parish for someone local who might be willing..
To be a godparent you have to recieved confirmation (I think) and then I think there's still an age limit of 16ish.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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mathmama
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| Posted: Nov 16 2009 at 10:47am | IP Logged
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My priest has always encourages people to look in the pews for Godparents. Are there any Godly families in your parish? Even if you aren't close with them, perhaps this is an opportunity to make some new holy friends.
After each of our children have been Baptized I have thought "well, there is no one else for us to choose as Godparents", but then before our next one was born God put new Godly people into our lives to choose.
Beth
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lapazfarm
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The only requirement our priest had was that they had to be a confirmed, practicing Catholic. Non-Catholics could not be God-parents, but could be what is called a "Christian witness". One God-parent should be Catholic,though.
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
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SusanMc
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I second the notion of looking the pews. Because our families aren't practicing Catholics and we recently moved here, we ended up asking folks that we knew only casually to be godparents for each of our sons. In both cases it has brought our families somewhat closer together although we are still not BEST BEST BEST friends. But I KNOW these folks pray for their godsons and they see them each week in church and are happy to hug and kiss them. Thats more than most folks I know got from their godparents.
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Maddie
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| Posted: Nov 16 2009 at 11:23am | IP Logged
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We have some dear friends who are our "go to" godparents for at least 3 of my children, they don't mind being asked as she understands how important it is to have good practicing Catholics as godparents. They live 400 miles away so we've had proxies the last two times.
Maybe a 4 Real mom here would work?!
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~Maddie~
Wife to my dh and Momma of 9 dear ones
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Taffy
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All four of my children have the same godparent.  She's a very good family friend, still single (hopefully not for long), and a solidly practicing Catholic. And she's already said that she'd be happy to be a godparent to any more blessings we might have.
Our three youngest only have her for a godparent. My oldest has her and an uncle who has since left the faith  .
We joke that our children's godmother may never have her own biological children but she's going to be a "mom of many" anyway.
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Susan
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Nov 16 2009 at 11:50am | IP Logged
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Why not consider a grandparent-aged couple from your parish? I have seen this work out wonderfully - it's like your child gets a third set of grandparents...and for older people whose grandchildren live far away, it's a blessing to have a little one to love right in their home parish.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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happymama
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| Posted: Nov 16 2009 at 11:55am | IP Logged
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i don't mind having proxies stand in, just ask a local friend couple to do it. definitely you don't need to be hosting more company right now! Baptism is supposed to be a joyful celebration...
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DominaCaeli
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| Posted: Nov 16 2009 at 12:48pm | IP Logged
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Taffy wrote:
| All four of my children have the same godparent. |
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Our children do too--my mother-in-law. She is local, has a flexible work schedule (we usually do it on a weekday after the morning Mass since we like to have it done asap), and is a devout woman. I too don't like the drama and stress of baptismal parties and godparent choices and all that. The sacrament is what is important. Would one of the priests at your parish do it? Could you use a proxy, like the other ladies suggested? And remember, you only have to come up with one person--two are not required.
Praying for you to find a good solution so that you can get that sweet baby's soul cleansed as soon as possible! 
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Blessings,
Celeste
Joyous Lessons
Mommy to six: three boys (8, 4, newborn) and four girls (7, 5, 2, and 1)
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Olivia
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Our parish priest asked my husband and I to be God parents for a baby of a couple who were new to the parish coming from abroad so they had no family or catholic friends in the country. We accepted willingly. Only met our God daughter and parents on the baptism day. Never seen them since even though we've tried contacting them. However even though we may never meet again in this life we pray for her daily - at least one Hail Mary.
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juststartn
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We're in a similar situation, should we be blessed again. We made some pretty...well, marginal, choices, for our first three. The boys, we managed to get some GREAT godparents. Wish we lived closer, but the military moves us all...sigh.
#1 had a single godparent--one of my SILs, who has left the faith...
#2 has another SIL, and her husband--marginal, poorly catechized Catholics...
#3 has a BIL and his wife--we call him a Ca-Lutheran. She's Lutheran
#4&5 have the rockin'est godparents.
#6...well, wee Ave Maria hadn't had any chosen. We baptized her wee body anyway...
I suspect if we are blessed with #7 (please, God!), we will either choose the same family, or another family from our old parish in NC, whom we are still close to...
I wish we knew some priests or religious. Somehow, I think that they might take their role of godparent more seriously than your average layperson does/would...
I know I'd be willing to be one for a 4Realer, if I was close enough and they were in need of me/us...lol.
Rachel
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RA's Mom
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For future reference, can priests be god-fathers? I would have liked to ask one who helped me in my formation but assumed I couldn't because of his other responsibilities. I really wanted my little boy to have a strong male role model (in addition to his dad) but with none handy we fell back on his devout great-aunt. I pray, pray that he'll find the right person by confirmation time.
Also, if you go with the proxies or someone you don't know well, you could celebrate the baptism with them later, on the anniversary, a saint's day or at your convenience.
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Olivia
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I was also wondering about the rules about priests and religious being God parents. We asked a priest religious but he said they are not allowed. I think it depends on the rules of the particular order. Not sure about diocesan priests.
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Mimip
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Our youngest has a priest for a godfather. He is a diocesan priest and according to him, it really depends on the rules of the orders and of the diocese.
He is from Mexico and it is very common there to be godfathers but we have a priest here that says no because he doesn't feel he could be a godfather to one and then say no to another family. Its just personal preference for him.
I know a good friend who is a Franciscan Friar and he is godfather to his two nieces but it was before he took final vows so I don't know what would happen now 
As to the baptism question, we have a couple of unique godparents: the priest mentioned above, who is like a very dear uncle to our family and I asked my mom's best friend to be our first son's godmother. After praying my whole pregnancy about it, I felt very strongly that he have someone that prayed for him more than anything. She has been such a wonderful presence in his life. She is much older than the typical godmother, more like a grandmother, but she really makes a point to make him feel special. I am so glad that we chose her.
Whatever you decide, remember that you tried your best to chose good people and leave the rest in God's hands!
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In Christ,
Mimi
Wife of 16 years to Tom, Mom of DD'00, DD'02, '04(in heaven) DS'05, DS'08 and DS '12
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tissuebox
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I second, third, and fourth the idea of looking to church family.
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Baptism issues
