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MarilynW
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We usually baptize at 2 weeks. For Anna we are doing it at less than a week because the next date available would be July. We really like to baptize early - and I see it as more of a family occasion rather than huge social thing. I am second guessing myself because I am getting a lot of criticism for baptizing so early with not much notice for people.
Is there any Church recommendation for baptizing early? When I was born, I was baptized the same day and so were all my siblings - my mother did not make it to all the baptisms.
Should the baptism be a social event?
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Carole N.
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Marilyn, for my oldest ds and my dd, I waited about five weeks so that godparents/near family members could attend...and it did not happen. I was deeply disappointed, but I did make the effort. These baptisms were very small and involved a very small reception afterwards in my home. It was very personal experience for me.
For my adopted ds, we baptised him as soon as his adoption was final and the priest could fit it in his schedule. The godparents lived in town and many of our friends came. It was a very big social event for that reason (he was also five years at the time). We had a Mexican dinner in the parish hall with everyone attending. People brought gifts and food and everyone had a good time. I think that our ds needed that to make him feel part of the group.
I don't really have much advice, except to say that I would baptize my child as soon as I possibly could (which is what I did with all my children). You could always have cake at your home afterwards for those who participate in the baptism and your family. I guess it is important to remember that this sacrament should be received as soon as possible. And if it happens to turn into a social event, then that is great.
ETA: Whatever you decide, remember to take pictures! 
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JodieLyn
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Well we normally try and set it up before baby is born.. and since I have a wide variance of when baby is generally born in relation to my due date.. babies tend to be about 2-5 weeks old.
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MarilynW
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Thanks Carole.
The only big social occasion we have had has been for the twins - because they were only 31 weekers we had to wait for the baptism for about 3 months - and we did have a big party as so many people had prayed and helped.
I guess I see it as mainly religious - for many of my extended family the big party after is the main deal - not so for me. I have to say that even at 6 weeks a big party would be tough for me.
I am getting criticism because I only gave people 2 weeks notice - and that was with a caveat that Anna would be born healthy and not need NICU time.
I don't know why we always want to baptize asap - just something we do. I wonder what the church teaching is. I know many of the saints were baptized right away.
We are having cake and tea after a 2pm baptism.
On another note - I wish I could have all Anna's wonderful "cyber godmothers" from all over the US, Australia, Wales, England etc etc - that would relaly make it special!!
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JodieLyn
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It's in the catechism I think.. It's somewhere in the.. soon is best but some delay is ok.. but not to put it off for too long.. I don't think it's as strident in the as soon as possible as it used to be
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JodieLyn
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OK found it..
THE SACRAMENT OF BAPTISM
Quote:
| 1250 Born with a fallen human nature and tainted by original sin, children also have need of the new birth in Baptism to be freed from the power of darkness and brought into the realm of the freedom of the children of God, to which all men are called.50 The sheer gratuitousness of the grace of salvation is particularly manifest in infant Baptism. The Church and the parents would deny a child the priceless grace of becoming a child of God were they not to confer Baptism shortly after birth.51 |
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MarilynW
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Thank you Jodie!
I think it is partly me too - I just like to have the religious ceremony soon. I usually don't feel over social till about 5 months pospartum!!
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D. Marie
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I found this in Fr. Leo Trese's The Faith Explained:
"For parents, this means that they should not unduly delay the Baptism of their newborn child. Parents who unnecessarily delay or neglect the Baptism of their child become guilty of grave sin."
I was told by a priest back with my first that to delay the baptism by 3 weeks was neglectful, and here I was trying to recover from a c-section and travelling an hour to Mass. My greatest fear is that too many parents assume their children will live long lives without harm. You never know when your baby will come down suddenly ill, or be involved in a car accident, SIDS. I would suggest being baptized as soon as possible, then throwing a party some other time in honor of the baptism when it can be done.
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Mimip
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We baptize as soon as possible. My girls were 2 weeks (DD1)and 8 eight days(dd2) and my boys were each 6 weeks. I really like them baptized soon.
My first son we waited for his godfather to come from out of town but I found it too long. I wanted to baptize my second son sooner but we were able to have a private Mass of first communion for my daughter and were able to baptize my son at the same mass since his godfather was the celebrant. It was VERY special for them to share that day and now my other daughter is wondering if we'll have a baby in time for her first communion next year  (nothing yet)
Oh and we do throw a party afterwards with my family helping to run it. If I did not have family take over there is NO WAY we would have a party 
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We also baptize within days or a week or so after the baby's birth. For my last baby, I had the baptism date set up, but I went about 2 weeks overdue and had to reschedule. Father thought it was pretty funny that the baby missed her own baptism date.
For me, I want my babies in a state of grace, ASAP. I want their soul filled with God's life and I would be willing to even miss the baptism if I wasn't able to attend and baptizing would be delayed. The party's are nice, but they are not the priority for our family.
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Red Cardigan
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This is an interesting thread.
I also liked to do "early," and always did within one month to six weeks (at the longest). Would have loved even earlier but it takes time to get on the parish schedule etc., but at least I never had any of the problems I've heard about from others.
The area where I live has some disturbing trends at the parish level that make it harder and harder for parents to baptize early.
One is the mandatory pre-baptism class requirement. Some parishes won't exempt parents from attending these classes even if they already have many dc; and in some places you have to take the class AFTER the baby is born and you're not "allowed" to bring the baby!!
Another is that some parishes refuse to do any baptisms *at all* during Lent--if your baby is born on Ash Wednesday, you're out of luck until after Easter (and then with the Easter schedule and first communions etc. you may be waiting a long, long time to get scheduled for a baptism).
I really appreciate the quote from the Catechism--now I know what to tell parents who run into these situations--that they should take this passage from the Catechism straight to their pastors!
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aussieannie
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We always baptize early, ranging from 2 days to 2 weeks at the latest. Usually during that early period I'm fighting a kidney/bladder or mastitis, or both! Last time I was battling a heart virus so it was dh and children, my mother and sister, (godparents lived in another state and we had my son and mother stand in as proxy) straight after a 7am morning mass, I just made it through barely, there was no way I could do more. For these reasons it is never a big social event as much as we would like it, we just feel baptising them as soon as possible is more important.
Maddie wrote:
| For my last baby, I had the baptism date set up, but I went about 2 weeks overdue and had to reschedule. Father thought it was pretty funny that the baby missed her own baptism date. |
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Maddie, we've done the same thing, book the baptism in before the birth and then sweated over baby arriving because I tend to go over, Father thought it funny, "What, booking the baptism and no baby yet??" That baptism was 4 days after the birth.
Red Cardigan wrote:
| Another is that some parishes refuse to do any baptisms *at all* during Lent--if your baby is born on Ash Wednesday, you're out of luck until after Easter (and then with the Easter schedule and first communions etc. you may be waiting a long, long time to get scheduled for a baptism). |
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Red, we see this problem and trend in Australia too, and it is crazy to deny people baptisms in lent when they have no problems marrying people during that period nowadays, when it was always traditional (for good reason) to not marry within the lenten period.
I suppose I've never worried about baptising really early because when I read the lives of the saints, so many were baptised on the day of their birth or the day afterward, to me, it seems the more traditional thing up until recent times.
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We baptize as quickly as possible as well...I just want those graces for my child.
I am certain beyond the shadow of a doubt that God used the graces given to me in the Sacrament of Baptism as an infant to gently and persistently lead me home throughout my life. The Sacrament of Baptism given to me in 1971 was the last and only sacrament I received until one glorious and grace filled Easter Vigil evening in 1995. I have been so grateful for the Sacrament of Baptism my entire life. Throughout my childhood - without formation, access to the Sacraments, and no Mass attendance  - I always knew in my heart and always told people I was Catholic. I didn't understand how I knew...I just did. It was the grace of God. God took care of working out all the other details. My point? I'm living proof of the goodness and generosity of Our Lord through this Sacrament and I want my babies to have access to those graces as soon as possible!
I call the priest from the hospital to make arrangements and during high-crisis pregnancies we make arrangements for the priest to be at the hospital. Our babies have been baptized between 4 days and 3 weeks old (I was feeling really antsy at waiting the three weeks, but it was our first, and we were forced to wait for the Baptism class first ...we learned after that!)
The focus is rejoicing over the graces given at the Sacrament of Baptism, and the goodness of Our Lord! With our last baby, I arranged to use a room at our parish for the reception. Our good friends were so kind - each offered to bring a tray of food to share! I just walked over with a grace-filled infant and smiled.
I enjoy preserving and protecting the intimacy of my home for a little while after the baby is born. This isn't necessary, and not everyone feels this way!!!! But, there is an afterglow after a baby is born. And, I'm a little protective of it. It is such an overwhelmingly grace-filled time - there are graces from the Sacrament of Baptism...and I feel graces so abundantly through the Sacrament of Marriage. My husband is so gentle and protective, so kind and nurturing both to me and the baby. There is a great desire and much grace is given to help introduce and ease the new little person into the family dynamics. It is all so precious to me. I cherish and soak up every single moment of it and keep it all as intimate, quiet, and protected as possible. I can't say for how long...I just know.
 to you as you sort this out, Marilyn...and know that we're there in spirit! God bless, Anna Grace on her Baptism day!
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JennGM
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For my first baby, I did in 3 weeks because I wanted a certain priest. I ended up with mastitis and big set backs. I want to be there for my baby's baptisms, so I did wait longer, since I know I have to have a c/s. Then I couldn't get an open date with Nicholas, so it was much longer than I wanted.
I keep the entertaining simple, but it's a family affair, with family traveling from all over, so I have to entertain.
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trish
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Longest we've waited was 4 months waiting for Godparents. I thought that day would never come! Shortest was 1 day old. Usually 1-2 weeks. That's long enough for me. (slight worrier)
Sounds like you have a lovely time planned anyway. Blessings to little Anna on her Baptism day!!
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MarilynW
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Thank you all so much for your replies.
I think Maddie and Jen really expressed my feelings about the graces - I just could not explain it. Just like Jen these graces have got me through the years when I was not close to the Church as I should have been.
I think I am just feeling tired today - and we get so much criticism anyway for being homeschoolers, open to life etc - the quick baptism is seen as another "weird thing"!! When one has a very sore chest (Dolly Parton day!), cannot really sit down, and brutal after pains it is kind of hard not to react to criticism. Pains apart though - I really want Anna to be baptised tomorrow - all the children are so excited and Steve is doing everything to make sure I stay in bed and rest up (he has all 5 older children at the pool right now)
Like Jen - I am very protective of a quiet home environment for a few months postpartum. My dh takes a few weeks of work and we have a very "en famille" time.
I really appreciate your prayers for energy and joy tomorrow.
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aussieannie
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Marilyn I am sure your day tomorrow for Anna will be BEAUTIFUL!
I think that it is a fabulous day to baptised on with a beautiful, Marian feast day, it certainly would have been the day I would have chosen without a doubt.
You will have my special prayers for the day!
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I like the early Baptism - focusing on the graces received. I did NOT make it into a social thing for my son's baptism.
His First Holy Communion will be a huge party - and probably something biggish will happen for Confirmation. I really feel like the social things should be about the child and a baby just doesn't remember.
With that said, my family had a huge party after my baptism (I was baptized at 8 months old) - for which I am grateful when I look back, but that has more to do with not really being raised Catholic and coming back of my own accord in high school. Oh... the graces of baptism! They stuck with me throughout childhood and wouldn't let me go away completely!
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We usually baptize within 2 weeks, also. Parents and godparents are usually coming or have come to see the baby by then, anyway. They are the only ones we really want to be there, although it is nice for other close friends and family to come as well; but we only do simple cake/punch/ice-cream and not a big meal.
Our only exception (so far) was for our 3rd baby, whose due date was less than 3 weeks before the Easter Vigil. We scheduled for that date and planned on family coming for Easter, but he was born more than a week early, so he was unbaptized for a month - and we kept/carried a bottle of Holy Water with him the whole time.
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DominaCaeli
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Both of my daughters were baptized at four days old, the day after we came home from the hospital. Our parish does baptisms on Sunday afternoons, but in both cases, we made arrangements to have it done privately on a weekday so that we wouldn't have to wait all the way until the next weekend. We took the baptismal class way in advance and then just called the office to make an appointment as soon as I delivered (they were expecting our call). Our priests have always been very accommodating. We adopted our son, so he was baptized the week we brought him home. I can't imagine waiting longer than that.
I definitely don't see the baptism as a social event. Our children all have one godparent, my mother-in-law, and at our youngest daughter's baptism, she was the only one present besides the five of us and the priest. We only give people a day's notice, and it's usually on a weekday morning, so I'm not surprised that people can't attend. But delaying the sacrament would be stressful for me and my husband, and I don't want to take any chances when it comes to my child's salvation. And besides, a private baptism can be very lovely and is much less work for the new mommy.
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: How soon do have your baby baptism?
