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MacBeth
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Probably at the beach...
Joined: Jan 27 2005
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| Posted: Dec 09 2005 at 11:55am | IP Logged
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You know, it's that time of year. Publishers' lists swell with so-called "books" about Christmas, and stores stock them in quantity. Sadly, our well-intentioned relatives flock to the in-store display shelves, so lively and brightly decorated, and buy the prettiest books there, totally unaware of the twaddle lurking inside. Even the library holiday cart is twaddl-i-fied beyond recognition (note to self: ask librarian to put books aside for us).
So, what to do? Great Aunt L. hasn't seen the kids in 7 years, thinks the kids are still all 8 and under, and buys board books about elves and lollipops. Grampa has forsworn reading because the television is so compelling, and so does not look at the books beyond the cover. He does not even take the time to read the extensive e-mail you wrote with the excellent book-list that took days of weeding through shelves of twaddle to compile. Or, worse, he sees the word "Dickens" on the colorfully illustrated cover of a very thin bargain book, and he buys it, thinking he is doing the right thing (bless his heart!). Or maybe your brother thinks that A Scooby-Doo Christmas is just the thing for his nephew; and what girl, he reasons, would not love Barbie's Best Christmas Ever (with read-along cassette)?
I'm sure we all have our ways of detecting twaddle (the "one page" test is a time-honored way), but how do we deal with it when it arrives, brightly packaged, into the arms of our eager readers? Here are a few tips:
Number one, of course, is ALWAYS accept a gift graciously. This may take some work, especially if your young people have taste  . Honest appreciation of "the thought" is imperative.
Secondly, gently prepare the kids for the potentially twaddley gift. If they are old enough to detect twaddle, help them to understand the reason Great Aunt L. sends such stuff.
Thirdly, if the children are too young to detect twaddle, and it is not spiritually harmful twaddle, let them keep it for a while.
Now comes the next question. You have Christmas twaddle in your house...what do you do with it? This has troubled CM folks for years. Can you, as a Catholic CM homeschooler, give away these books to unsuspecting parents via the library books sale, leave them around with Bookcrossings tags, or give them to charities for underprivileged children? Isn't that just a means of perpetuating the nightmare of Twaddledom? Yes, indeed, the dilemma is real. But there it is, in your house, where you don't want your kids thinking these are the only books fit to read. Here's my solution: Decorate with books. When Advent comes along, and it's time to build up the anticipation of our Savior's birth, we pull out the lush greenery, the blessed candles, the sacred music, and the books. The books we read are in lovely baskets, tied up with ribbons, and left out for easy access (Christmas Strewing, eh, Lissa?). The often-more-colorful twaddle is set up on the top of the piano, on bookshelves and tables, hung from banisters with golden ribbons (one does not mind drilling a hole in a twaddley board book), and covering other appropriate surfaces. The advantages of decorating with twaddle are many. The books are always red and green for easy color coordination.  They are almost always slim, but they stand up well, and usually stay where they are put. They do not drop needles (big one, there  ), and they don't make noise. Kittens don't play with them, get tangled in them, or drag them about the house. They don't leave shattered bits of glass for fleshy little feet to painfully gather. Oh, and twaddle doesn't need to be turned off before you go to bed. When the Christmas season is over, you can pack them back into boxes until the next year...they don't go bad  . Ah! Twaddle!
Blessed Advent, All!
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God Bless!
MacBeth in NY
Don's wife since '88; "Mom" to the Fab 4
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MaryM
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| Posted: Dec 09 2005 at 12:07pm | IP Logged
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Thanks for the laugh, MacBeth.
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Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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JSchaaf
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| Posted: Dec 09 2005 at 12:56pm | IP Logged
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Yes, but then another Catholic CM'er comes over and wonders why all the twaddle on display? Is this what these people really read??? 
Jennifer
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Cheryl
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| Posted: Dec 09 2005 at 2:25pm | IP Logged
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That was a riot, MacBeth. I would have to hide mine, then make the decision to give it to charity or put it in paper trash. I have one little boy in particular who would be begging to take the Scooby-Doo (or any movie character) decoration down to read over and over.
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Cheryl
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Mom to Matthew 13, Joseph 11, Sarah 10, Rachel 6, Hannah almost 4 and Mary 1
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Meredith
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| Posted: Dec 09 2005 at 3:00pm | IP Logged
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What a hoot !! I never would have thought of this! MacBeth, you never cease to amaze me, thanks for a good ROFLOL!
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Meredith
Mom of 4 Sweeties
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Cheryl
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| Posted: Dec 09 2005 at 3:15pm | IP Logged
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That was a riot, MacBeth. I would have to hide mine, then make the decision to give it to charity or put it in paper trash. I have one little boy in particular who would be begging to take the Scooby-Doo (or any movie character) decoration down to read over and over.
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Cheryl
Wife to Bob ('97)
Mom to Matthew 13, Joseph 11, Sarah 10, Rachel 6, Hannah almost 4 and Mary 1
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momwise
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| Posted: Dec 10 2005 at 12:04am | IP Logged
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3 words for you MacBeth: Altered Board Books
What made me laugh even more after I read your idea was that our relatives think books are too boring to give the kids for Christmas . Guess I should be relieved  .
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Gwen...wife for 30 years, mom of 7, grandma of 3.....
"If you want equal justice for all and true freedom and lasting peace, then America, defend life." JPII
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Christmas twaddle: detect...and accept
