4Real Forums: Home altar vs. visiting dc (kinda long)

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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Topic: Home altar vs. visiting dc (kinda long)

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K&Rs Mom
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Joined: April 14 2008
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Posted: Dec 13 2008 at 9:39am \| IP Logged

We're finally getting a home altar put together - it's the top of a double-wide file cabinet, so well within kid-reach. Right now it has our Advent wreath, a ceramic statue/music-box of Mary & Jesus, a glass-jar candle and a paper "manger" with cotton for the dc's good deeds. My girls know what "breakable" means, and what they're allowed to touch or not. The problem is their friends, who pretty much assume that anything within kid-reach is fair game. The two families we mostly have over are both like this - their houses are pretty much all plastic. So I've been avoiding my two closest local friends because I don't know how to manage this. The altar is in our "parlor" which is also where the dc's dress-up box and large bookshelf are, so all the kids are used to playing in there and closing the door when company comes would take away about half the space they usually use. K suggested covering it with a big box, but I'm really not willing to go that route, plus the box would probably get knocked off taking everything with it. Talking to the moms is doable, but I don't want to criticize their parenting, plus I still wouldn't be really confident that our altar is safe. I've thought about taking all the dc in there when they arrive to show them this new addition and explain that it's not to touch, but neither family is Catholic so might not understand, plus I still wouldn't be entirely comfortable that they would remember and follow that rule.

I don't want "stuff" to come between us and our friends; OTOH I don't want to put at risk the statue that was my grandma's, nor do I want to hide our altar when company comes. Any advice? Sorry for the rambling!

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Aubrey
Mom to K (7.5yo) & R (5yo)

JennGM
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Posted: Dec 13 2008 at 9:56am \| IP Logged

Audrey, I have similar problems. Our altar pieces are tucked away in drawers and ds has strict instructions that it is not a toy.

But I admit to just taking or hiding away materials or toys that I think are breakable, hard-to-replace, etc. before company comes. I can think of no other way.

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Jennifer G. Miller
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Erin
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Posted: Dec 13 2008 at 1:09pm \| IP Logged

K&Rs Mom wrote:

Talking to the moms is doable, but I don't want to criticize their parenting,

Aubrey
It is all in how you say things. Children learn that there are different rules in different houses. I remember when my first was little she had to learn that when we visited one friend there was to be NO eating in the loungeroom. Difficult concept for her to get (2yrs) as at home we lived in a three room house so lounge was right next to the table. But it was good to learn that there are certain rules at different places, they are all totally comfortable with this now.

On a practical note, I would remove most of the items to start with, take the children in, explain the rules gently, put some awe into your voice explaining a little what it is about, and see how they behave. I would put up Grandma's statue though.

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Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians

JodieLyn
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Posted: Dec 13 2008 at 1:35pm \| IP Logged

I have a friend who's favorite phrase for situations like these is..

"the rule here is..."

Then it's not about what anyone does at home but about what you do in your house.

And there's lots of such rules.. at the grocery store or the library etc.. so it's just adding your place as another one with particular rules.

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Jodie, wife to Dave
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All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott

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