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Bookswithtea
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Posted: Nov 21 2008 at 4:44pm | IP Logged Quote Bookswithtea

with very littles? Am I crazy to be thinking about this? We would be attending with a 15 yr old, a 12 yr old, a 9 yr old, a 6 yr old, a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old. The church is about 25 minutes from home. Are there tricks to make this work?

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Posted: Nov 21 2008 at 6:42pm | IP Logged Quote LisaR

we've always done it.
give the littles a nap at about 7pm or so. lay out their clothes by the door. wake them up (literally) 10 min or so before leaving.
toss in a box of graham crackers/few water bottles in the car for them to have (if they need a snack) in the car on the way.
get dressed , comb hair, get in car (they might be crabby, sleep in car) and then they are good!
bring smallish sized Christmas books that you have saved (not brought out with your other advent stuff earlier in the season).
it CAN work and it is great once you go!!
lower your expectations, enjoy the Holy Night!
oh, and bring your camera- you'll want your first Christmas photo of 2008 to be in the church up by the beautifully decorated altar/creche scene!!

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Posted: Nov 21 2008 at 8:06pm | IP Logged Quote RamFam

Bookswithtea wrote:
Am I crazy to be thinking about this? We would be attending with a 15 yr old, a 12 yr old, a 9 yr old, a 6 yr old, a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old.


Am I crazier? We haven't been in two years, but I'd really like to. We have three 3 years and under. Is it ok if they sleep through it? Or should just one of us go? I'd love to make it to the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, but the acoustics are so wonderful. I've seen Elizabeth and her babies there in the past while I sat at home and watched on EWTN. I'd really like to have the courage and talk my husband into it. What do you think?

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Posted: Nov 21 2008 at 8:10pm | IP Logged Quote LisaR

maybe it is because I am a convert, but I'm all about the bells, and smells of these special high Liturgies.
go for it!! if they sleep, they sleep, if they are awake, they are awake either happy or sad but it is so worth it!

just think, soon we can start another thread about Easter Vigil Mass

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Posted: Nov 21 2008 at 8:13pm | IP Logged Quote RamFam

LisaR wrote:
just think, soon we can start another thread about Easter Vigil Mass


That's pushing it a little...

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Posted: Nov 21 2008 at 8:24pm | IP Logged Quote JennGM

RamFam wrote:
LisaR wrote:
just think, soon we can start another thread about Easter Vigil Mass


That's pushing it a little...


Haha, I think just the opposite. While the midnight Christmas Mass is beautiful, it doesn't have the unique characteristics as the Easter Vigil. No other day of the year will have that Liturgy. We endure the long haul of the Easter Vigil because it's just not Easter if I can't attend the Vigil.

Midnight Mass for Christmas is harder, because it's more crowded. People come early to listen to the carols (and then some leave before Mass begins). My children get overstimulated and will not fall asleep when events are happening around them, and throwing in the anticipation of Christmas.... It doesn't help being stuck way in the back that they can't see, as we usually sit up front. I'm not sure what we're doing this year.

My parents went separately until the youngest ones were older, like 3 or 4. But dh and I like to go together as a family.

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Posted: Nov 21 2008 at 8:59pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

I really think it depends on your children. Mine, when it's time to sleep, they go to sleep. I usually have more problems figuring out how to get everyone back out to the car than anything. And since we have the large choice of Midnight Mass (or a late evening vigil, not both) or 9am Christmas Morning... well.. it would be much much harder with my children to go in the morning.

Oh and our Church isn't crowded. Contrarywise in fact, we get two Masses in town for Christmas when we typically have only one mass on Sunday (no vigil).

But we really like the Midnight Mass, because our kids are tempted to being night owls anyway.. so most of them would easily be up past 11pm anyway. This way we come home, they're tired, and we get to bed just as late as we would otherwise. And then they can sleep in a bit in the morning (not long but a bit because of going to bed so much later) and we have a nice relaxed Christmas morning at home, plus we have my family here and it works much nicer since they're not Catholic.

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Posted: Nov 21 2008 at 9:36pm | IP Logged Quote juststartn

We aren't doing midnight Mass. DH has to work both Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day, 330p-1130p, so we won't be able to do it this year. And honestly, the idea of going with the twins is...ugly. And dd#3 is NOT the kind of child you wake up in the middle of the night and expect her to behave...nuh-uh. No way jose.

But with DH's work schedule the way that it is, well, there's just no way, even if we were interested...

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Posted: Nov 22 2008 at 7:09am | IP Logged Quote Bookswithtea

Lisa, I'm with you on Vigil. We have always done Easter Vigil, ever since being confirmed at Vigil after a year of RCIA. Maybe it is a convert thing. We have had kids fall asleep on the pews...its never been that much of a problem. But somehow, the 7pm to 10:30ish pm window is less overwhelming to me than the midnight mass scenario. Here's my situation...

Dh has to work on Christmas Day. On Christmas Eve we are supposed to be going to one relative's home from around 11-4 and then the other side from around 4:30 to 8ish. We'll be home by 9pm. That means getting kids to bed at 9:30 and then getting back up at 11. But if we don't, our time in front of the tree will be very short as a family before dh goes to work if we go to Mass on Christmas Day (we usually go to a late afternoon Children's Mass). I'm stumped for how to make it all work this year....

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Posted: Nov 22 2008 at 8:10am | IP Logged Quote Sarah

Midnight Mass isn't for us while we have littles. I used feel really inadequate that I couldn't pull it off. However, I've come to terms that it has to do with the temperment of the mother and the children God has given them. I'm a melancholic low energy person and my kids are high energy and intense like their choleric father.

While this may sound lame, I get masitis very easily without sleep not to mention everything falls on me because I have no extended family and a husband who is a doctor and hardly ever home. I always exhausted and feel overextended. I need to safeguard our family times to prevent burnout. Midnight Mass would wipe me out!

Perhaps, however DH could take the older boys and when my children are grown I plan on going too.

Sorry I didn't mean to sound like a whiner, just wanted to give another perspective.

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Posted: Nov 22 2008 at 9:14am | IP Logged Quote LisaR

We were "broken in" to midnight Mass our first year here - dh had just taken a job with the Diocese and we did not know our way around the Cathedral (where we've always chosen to go for Christmas/Easter) well.
oldest ds, only about 5 at the time, started vomiting before Mass began, and we ran him down the hallway which we thought led to the bathroom, only to have him literally vomit at the feet of the Bishop in the entryway to the Sacristy .
What a way for dh to wish Merry Christmas to his boss!!
So we always tell ourselves- "yeah, we made it through vomit-free"! after the Mass.
makes everything else seem quite manageable.!

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Posted: Nov 22 2008 at 9:35am | IP Logged Quote LisaR

Sarah wrote:


Sorry I didn't mean to sound like a whiner, just wanted to give another perspective.

this is what I love about being Catholic though- there is a Mass time to fit everyone's needs! Isn't it great that our worship for Christmas is not limited to one "candlelight service" Christmas Eve (or worse, the Sunday closeset to Christmas) like many Protestant Churches I attended growing up?
Up until a few years ago, I was so excited about this that for Christmas and Easter, we attended the vigil and the day of.
Just because we could!!
Oh, and living 1500+ miles away from any family on either side (and literally 1/4 mi away from our home parish) meant we had all the time in the world to create our own traditions...

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Posted: Nov 22 2008 at 9:37am | IP Logged Quote LisaR

Bookswithtea wrote:


Dh has to work on Christmas Day. On Christmas Eve we are supposed to be going to one relative's home from around 11-4 and then the other side from around 4:30 to 8ish. We'll be home by 9pm. That means getting kids to bed at 9:30 and then getting back up at 11. But if we don't, our time in front of the tree will be very short as a family before dh goes to work if we go to Mass on Christmas Day (we usually go to a late afternoon Children's Mass). I'm stumped for how to make it all work this year....


oh this sounds brutal. I'll pray for you!

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Posted: Nov 22 2008 at 10:10am | IP Logged Quote Bookswithtea

Sarah wrote:
Midnight Mass isn't for us while we have littles. I used feel really inadequate that I couldn't pull it off. However, I've come to terms that it has to do with the temperment of the mother and the children God has given them. I'm a melancholic low energy person and my kids are high energy and intense like their choleric father.

While this may sound lame, I get masitis very easily without sleep not to mention everything falls on me because I have no extended family and a husband who is a doctor and hardly ever home. I always exhausted and feel overextended. I need to safeguard our family times to prevent burnout. Midnight Mass would wipe me out!

Perhaps, however DH could take the older boys and when my children are grown I plan on going too.

Sorry I didn't mean to sound like a whiner, just wanted to give another perspective.


Sarah, I totally understand. I am not the high energy person I used to be, and I have some health issues that get out of control when I get overextended, too. Thank you for the reminder to safeguard health, as well. I sometimes think I can do more than I can...

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Posted: Nov 22 2008 at 10:12am | IP Logged Quote Bookswithtea

LisaR wrote:
[QUOTE=Bookswithtea]

oh this sounds brutal. I'll pray for you!


Thanks, Lisa. Right now, I am knocking around the idea of telling both sets of relatives that they will see us for a little less time so that we can hit the 4pm Children's Mass in between their two houses. The Christmas Day mass is 10am (only one offered) and I think that one might be harder to make than the 4pm. Sigh...Holidays are harder to accomodate when dh's have jobs that don't break for the holidays.

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Posted: Nov 22 2008 at 10:14am | IP Logged Quote JennGM

Sarah, I'm similar to you. I get worn down easily. I was trying to remember what we did last year, and oh yeah, I was recovering from a c-section and didn't make it to any Mass!

Many times I have to weigh on whether is the midnight Mass (or other option) merely for my enjoyment? Will I be paying later? Will my kids suffer from my irritability from being worn down, and will they be too tired and grumpy for the next day.

It's hard, and it's humbling to have to accept our weaknesses. I've missed many an opportunity but know I made the right decision.

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Posted: Nov 22 2008 at 10:52am | IP Logged Quote LisaD

We don't go to midnight Mass, because my two older children sing in the choir on Christmas morning. It would be too much for them at this age to go to midnight Mass and bring the kids back to church 8 hours later for Christmas morning Mass. I do like to keep the whining to a minimum on Christmas Fortunately, our church has a beautiful Christmas Eve Mass at 4:00 p.m. that we've attended as a family since we've had children.



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Posted: Nov 22 2008 at 11:31am | IP Logged Quote Martha

my dh is not catholic and refuses to attend a midnight mass.

but I make it "work" for us. I leave the non-nursing itty ones at home in their bed asleep and take the rest. It gives dh a chance to do some last minute "santa" things without kids around too. We love midnight mass and the kids look forward to it every year.

this year, I doubt we'll be at midnight mass as I'm due to have a baby the 23rd of Dec. and don't imagine either risking a frantic midnight drive home while in labor or popping out of bed fresh from a delivery, but we'll be watching Rome's celebration on the telly while setting out santa gifts. That or it'll be background noise to the delivery! Can't wait for christmas this year!

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Posted: Nov 22 2008 at 11:51am | IP Logged Quote donnalynn

What we have done for the past two years and I think we will do it again this year - is I bring the two older girls (age 12 and 14) to Midnight Mass and the next morning they stay home and make a nice Christmas breakfast while dh and I take the boys (age 6 and 9) to our 9:30am.
I can't see taking my boys to the Midnight Mass - maybe someday.

We have been really happy with this arrangement though - coming home to a nice Christmas breakfast has been wonderful!


The one Christmas Mass I will not attend is our 4:00pm Vigil - it is a mob scene.

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Posted: Nov 22 2008 at 12:27pm | IP Logged Quote Sarah

JennGM wrote:


It's hard, and it's humbling to have to accept our weaknesses. I've missed many an opportunity but know I made the right decision.


It is humbling. You are so right. Especially when you see families that appear in the same boat as you are and the mother seems so successful and capable, able to attend midnight mass and do it all:travel, entertain, etc, all within the same holiday.Then you look at yourself and you think you are a loser and wonder what's wrong with yourself.

I've very much struggled with this in the past, especially if you attend a Latin Mass parish which would offer no Christmas Eve liturgy other than midnight and Christmas Day. It is a very good post conciliar change to make more liturgies.

I am now at peace that it is the right decision for me and my littles to attend on Christmas Day.

Anyway, I don't mean to hijack this thread because it is about successfully making it happen and not about feeling stupid that you cannot do it.Sorry for the tangent.

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