Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Michaela
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Posted: July 30 2008 at 10:31am | IP Logged Quote Michaela

It's been three years since I responded to what I knew was the prompting of Our Lord and started my journey in the Catholic church.

I'm at a point that I need some suggestions from everyone farther along.

I usually feel like an outsider because there is still so much that I just don't understand. So much to learn...to read...and honestly sometimes feeling like a foreigner because I still haven't picked up on all the language.

I'm skimming the top and would like to take a deep breath and dive deeper, but I don't know how!

Anyone willing to share what my next step should be?
I already read the Bible, the catechism, and attend Mass. Of course, I plan to continue all of them.

...but, I still feel like there's something missing or Our Lord is asking more, but I can't figure it out.




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JennGM
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Posted: July 30 2008 at 12:30pm | IP Logged Quote JennGM

Michaela,

It's so beautiful that you are still trying to go deeper. The longing for more is the whispering in your soul, and it's so great you're listening! For me it's such a struggle to keep on plugging along and not become lukewarm. I just want to bounce a few ideas out there, but just be assured I'M IN THE SAME BOAT! I'm not saying I know it all, nor do I know the answers to your questions.

I see your post being two-pronged. You want to deepen your faith, but you also want to know more. Just having lots of knowledge about the Faith doesn't necessarily bring us closer to God. It's what you do with the knowledge.

I'm reading a fantastic (and short, which is good for me!) book Deep Conversion, Deep Prayer by Thomas Dubay. It's really, really good. It's really trying to get at the heart of why so few people have a deep conversion. There are lots of people who turn from atheism or mortal sin to go back to God and the Catholic Faith, but fewer make that deeper conversion and commitment of turning away from deliberate venial sins and really work for the path of sanctity.

Living the Faith, the daily spiritual things is an area to work on. I love the Handbook of Prayers, which has a Spiritual Game Plan -- some minimal suggestions of Daily Catholic Living. My former spiritual director also summed it up similarlySeven Daily Habits of Apostolic Living, kind of a Steven Covey approach.

But of course Faith isn't about check the box approach. My mother has such a deep knowledge of the Faith, and it really happened when she decided to just read when about when she had baby #4 (of 7). Besides daily spiritual reading to nourish her soul, she also read the Church documents, papal encyclicals.

The encyclicals and apostolic letters are a good way to get your feet wet. Don't think you have to read them all, just maybe start with Pope Benedict, then maybe themes, like JPII's writings on the family, women, the eucharist. Read all the various documents on the rosary...

Another suggestion is following the Office of Readings. You don't necessarily have to pray the Liturgy of the Hours and Office of Readings, but just reading the daily readings provides a great glimpse into the treasure of the Church fathers and doctors.

Just take it slowly, don't overwhelm yourself or get discouraged, and keep listening and responding to that still, small voice.

I'll pray for you, if you pray for me.

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Helen
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Posted: July 30 2008 at 2:33pm | IP Logged Quote Helen

Michaela,
I learned so much about our Faith with the daily Rosary. At first, I substituted the Nicene Creed for the Apostle's creed and really mulled over the tenets of our Faith. Using a Bible to help with the meditation on the mysteries was helpful. (There are Scriptural Rosary booklets around -- maybe even an online source?)

Teachings about Our Lady and her apparitions were also very helpful.

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Paula in MN
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Posted: July 30 2008 at 3:26pm | IP Logged Quote Paula in MN

Michaela wrote:
I usually feel like an outsider because there is still so much that I just don't understand. So much to learn...to read...and honestly sometimes feeling like a foreigner because I still haven't picked up on all the language. I'm skimming the top and would like to take a deep breath and dive deeper, but I don't know how!


Michaela, I am a "cradle" Catholic, and I feel the same way. You are not alone! Jenn and Helen have some great suggestions. I'll pray for you!

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Posted: July 30 2008 at 3:34pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

It's not religious or "deep" but sometimes books.. even fictional books about how people CAN live as Catholics is so helpful.. it let's you get past what might be just the surface of seeing people at Church and see how they might be living away from Church... it's the example I didn't grow up with to see, that is hard to get close enough to people in real life as adults to see.

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Posted: July 31 2008 at 8:42am | IP Logged Quote Elena

Michaela, if you could find a source for the saint of the day, either online or at the bookstore, that would help you keep track of the feasts and memorials. Remembering those every year with the universal church will make you really feel "part" of it! Plus they are fascinating stories and I think you will really enjoy "meeting" all of these holy men and women of God!

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Michaela
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Posted: Aug 01 2008 at 8:42am | IP Logged Quote Michaela

Thank you ladies for your help.

Jenn, I've ordered the book, Deep Conversion, Deep Prayer....and printed the 7 Daily Habits. Finding time to actually read it is what took me so long to come back to thank everyone. Busy week. Yes, I will absolutely keep you in my prayers!

It's interesting, Helen, that one of the 7 Daily Habits is the rosary, as you suggested. I really really like the idea of meditating, delving deeper into the Nicene Creed. My main focus for a long time was just to get it memorized for Mass!

I read so much, but without ever having to use it (a purpose) some information seems to fade.

Paula, it's good to hear that I'm not alone.

Jodie, I think you hit the nail on the head.
I have never had a real life example...I'm inspired by everyone here...I soak up EWTN...but no real life example of living as a Catholic. I think that is where my questions come in. What is it that I'm trying or expecting to see? Can you actually SEE a deep conversion in someone who isn't a priest or nun?

I'm different than I was before knowing Jesus Christ (I was told He wasn't even real) and before becoming a Catholic.

Elena...that's where I have to delve deeper. I read about the saints, know saint-of-the-day, and celebrate the liturgical year (as I've been taught from all the wonderful ladies here and their blogs) however I think its been more at the level for my children (read alouds) then actually finding the time to read an adult version of the saints. IYKWIM.

Sorry for the long rambling response. It's early...and I tend to ramble.

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Posted: Aug 01 2008 at 1:07pm | IP Logged Quote SusanJ

You've gotten lots of good suggestions--none of which I follow as well as I'd like, either!

I would suggest spiritual reading as a daily habit if you can find the time. The book Jen recommended sounds great and I think I'll look at that myself. I'm often doing spiritual reading while nursing a baby, keeping half an eye on kids, or tired and in bed at night. I used to try to really challenge myself by reading tough stuff. I finally just pulled out various live of saints that we had and found it a much better reading level for my current state in life and very encouraging.

I love St. Therese--I've read her Story of a Soul many times and I always find more in it. I'm reading her collected letters now and its really wonderful.

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Posted: Aug 02 2008 at 6:07am | IP Logged Quote amethyst

Michaela wrote:
however I think its been more at the level for my children (read alouds) then actually finding the time to read an adult version of the saints. IYKWIM.


Hi Michaela!
I'm a convert of 3 years and I'm still learning the language too. I LOVE our Church! I love that the well of learning, loving and understanding can never run dry because our faith is so rich, so deep - we just have to want to drink of it and follow each rabbit trail as it presents itself, not being afraid to ask questions along the way.
I read all the Vision books to get to know the saints, and I give them to my teens too. My kids were 12 and 13 when we joined the church and I realised I had a lot of catching up to do before they left home, so I started with the simpler explanations and teachings - books most people would give their elementary kids - so they could get a skeleton of understanding, something they could flesh out later as they matured in the faith. This is exactly what is happening now! Last week they studied and discussed the messages Pope Benedict gave at World Youth Day - I give them meatier things now because the basics are mostly covered.
For myself I covered as much as I could as simply as I could for about 4 years (my first book about Catholicism was the Catechism and I read it cover to cover) gaining understanding of why we do what we do/say what we say/ believe what we believe, before heading into the wonderful writings of saints like St Therese of Lisieux, St Louis de Montfort, St Teresa of Avila, Pope John Paul, to name a few.
The Rosary each day is
my anchor Daily meditating on the mysteries drives my heart to Christ more than ANYTHING else.
This forum is a place of welcome and education to all Catholics, especially converts like you and me. I'm sure that there will always be someone here to answer your questions and help you along the journey - me included if I can.
One thing I found great was making friends with some older people in my parish; they mostly have deep knowledge and LOVE for our faith and are more than happy to help me with any questions along the way...and if I need an answer quickly I ring Erin   
It was she I rang to ask "what is the first collection for at church??", and "what do I say at Confession?"...she doesn't laugh at me, she tells me with such delight! (Thank you for your years of nurturing me, Erin!)
The fact that you desire to go deeper with your faith is why you will...God hears your heart and I'm sure He'll make a way for you to learn what you need to.
In the meantime I'm praying for you, sister!

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