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glinNC
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I realize that receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation is best done regularly, such as monthly. But if none of the 10 Commandments are broken, no mortal sins to confess, and venial sins are forgotten/overlooked, what would one "confess" in the confessional?
Of course, we're all sinners and *need* to receive the Sacrament regularly, but how would one get the most out of this Sacrament if there's not much to say ... and the priest doesn't talk to you ... just listens as sins are rattled off?
Thanks in advance,
glinNC
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graciefaith
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I'd like to know as well. Our parish priest is the exact same way. He doesnt say anything. He's always encouraging everyone to come to confession on a regular basis b/c he's the easiest priest to confess to.
I try and go once or twice a month but normally i dont have any mortal sins to confess so i just confess any venial sins. I like going on a regular basis. Even if i think i havent done anything serious, i always could have without knowing or remembering.
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Maddie
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Well, you are receiving the grace of the sacrament which will help you grow in holiness and maybe make you more aware of your venial sins. Can you find a spiritual director that you could go to on a monthly basis that may give you more feedback and direction?
One dear priest I knew once told me when I couldn't think of any sins: "Well, if you still can't think of one sin after reading over the examination of conscience then we'll start your canonization process immediately."
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Michaela
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glinNC wrote:
| But if none of the 10 Commandments are broken, no mortal sins to confess, and venial sins are forgotten/overlooked, what would one "confess" in the confessional? |
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I'm unsure if this specifically answers your question, but CCC 1458 "strongly recommends" regular confession of venial sins.
What about frequent confession when there is no grave sin?
glinNC wrote:
| and the priest doesn't talk to you ... just listens as sins are rattled off? |
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As Maddie suggested, could you find a spiritual director or even make an appt with your priest so he has the time to give you feedback?
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Michaela
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glinNC
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Maddie wrote:
One dear priest I knew once told me when I couldn't think of any sins: "Well, if you still can't think of one sin after reading over the examination of conscience then we'll start your canonization process immediately." |
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As we are all called to be saints, and I'd love to be one, too,  , I am the first to admit that I'm NOT!  My impatience with children tend to be the regular item on the list of "rattling" when I go in monthly. It seems that *that's* all that ever comes to mind ... maybe because it's the majority of my life?
I will have to pray about finding a spiritual director. Thanks.
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graciefaith
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Now that we'll be moving back to the states, I could try and find a spiritual director as well. Great idea! TIA!!
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graciefaith
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Thank you, Micheala, for that link.
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Aggie gal
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It's always been my understanding that the confessional is not designed as the place for counseling/spiritual direction, so to speak. Sometimes I find that consoling, other times not so much.
It's been my experience that going to confession on a regular basis (which unfortunately has not always been the case  ) has indeed made me much more aware of venial sins. We always do a family examination of conscience at the end of the day and that has been helpful to bring things to mind too.
As an aside,recently I have been blessed to see the sacrament thru the eyes of two of my boys who are about to make their FHC this weekend. What a blessing this has been! Both of them have jumped at the chance to go to weekly Confession. They come out positively BEAMING each week after leaving, chatting with much excitement about how clean their souls are and how the SUPER vitamin of grace will help them to be better this week. They absolutely LOVE going to confession.
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Aggie gal
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| Posted: April 28 2008 at 8:14am | IP Logged
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graciefaith wrote:
| I'd like to know as well. Our parish priest is the exact same way. He doesnt say anything. He's always encouraging everyone to come to confession on a regular basis b/c he's the easiest priest to confess to. |
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We had a priest that said the exact same thing when we were stationed at Offut in NE. His initials are MR. I wonder if this is the same priest!
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Amy
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graciefaith
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Amy,
Those are his initials!! I'll pm you and tell you his name. Well, he is a military priest so i wouldnt be surprised if he's the one you're talking about.
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KackyK
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When I read the examination of conscience lists that are out there, I see how I do break the commandments, venially. No I don't actually "kill" someone, but I break/hurt/damage their soul even in my own mind, when I make a judgment about that person.
Our priests are quiet too. The one priest who use to be at our old parish, who would "talk" to me about it, really would just pick out one something I talked about and he'd give a little advice with a new way to think about it or something. Can't hold up the line!
But I get the most from the sacrament by just going, receiving absolution and sanctifying grace! Huge gift! To me it's like wondering, well if the priest's homily isn't very good (and we all know how that is right?) then I'm not getting all I can out of Mass. But the point of Mass is receiving Jesus and sanctifying grace (the homily is bonus :-) just like you could say any spiritual direction received in the confessional is bonus).
This is all how I look at it and may not sound right to others...which I know! So I hope I didn't sound too preachy
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Barbara C.
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glinNC questions remind me of my experiences with confession in grade school. They made us go to confession twice a year, but they never did an examination of conscience with us before hand. They would basically just tell us to think if we had broken any of the 10 Commandments. But with the short-term memory issues of children and lack of guidance in examining our conscience, I think half of us lied to the priest just because we had to have something to say (we really couldn't remember doing anything big recently). Probably all he heard all day was "I lied" or "I dishonored my mother and father" with no specifics. It really left a bad taste in my mouth, and confession kind of became a joke to everybody.
Meanwhile, when I think about some of the stuff we were doing in the pews while we waited our turn...that's what we should have been confessing...lots and lots of blasphemy. Just another sad story about the lapse of Catholic education in Catholic schools.... 
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Aggie gal
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Barbara C. wrote:
| glinNC questions remind me of my experiences with confession in grade school. They made us go to confession twice a year, but they never did an examination of conscience with us before hand. They would basically just tell us to think if we had broken any of the 10 Commandments. But with the short-term memory issues of children and lack of guidance in examining our conscience, I think half of us lied to the priest just because we had to have something to say (we really couldn't remember doing anything big recently). Probably all he heard all day was "I lied" or "I dishonored my mother and father" with no specifics. It really left a bad taste in my mouth, and confession kind of became a joke to everybody. |
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Ditto that! I remember time after time feeling like I had to make something up to tell the priest or just say the standard, "I lied. I dishonored my parents. I was mean to my brother". I had little to no understanding of the sacrament of confession at all. That is why my it warms my heart so to see my boys truly embrace it and love it. It's amazing to me. I didn't have that feeling (and sometimes still don't  ) until adulthood. What a rich and wonderful faith we have!
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Matilda
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KackyK wrote:
| When I read the examination of conscience lists that are out there, I see how I do break the commandments, venially. No I don't actually "kill" someone, but I break/hurt/damage their soul even in my own mind, when I make a judgment about that person. |
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I agree. I use to think confession was unnecessary until I stumbled upon a wonderful examination of conscience put out by the Fathers of Mercy. I now believe the right examination of conscience can take confession to a whole new level!!!
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Matilda
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By "unnecessary" I mean that I thought Confession wasn't really for venial sins because they weren't a big deal. I hope I am making sense.
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Charlotte (Matilda)
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glinNC
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Aggie gal wrote:
Barbara C. wrote:
| glinNC questions remind me of my experiences with confession in grade school. They made us go to confession twice a year, but they never did an examination of conscience with us before hand. They would basically just tell us to think if we had broken any of the 10 Commandments. But with the short-term memory issues of children and lack of guidance in examining our conscience, I think half of us lied to the priest just because we had to have something to say (we really couldn't remember doing anything big recently). Probably all he heard all day was "I lied" or "I dishonored my mother and father" with no specifics. It really left a bad taste in my mouth, and confession kind of became a joke to everybody. |
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Ditto that! I remember time after time feeling like I had to make something up to tell the priest or just say the standard, "I lied. I dishonored my parents. I was mean to my brother". I had little to no understanding of the sacrament of confession at all. That is why my it warms my heart so to see my boys truly embrace it and love it. It's amazing to me. I didn't have that feeling (and sometimes still don't ) until adulthood. What a rich and wonderful faith we have! |
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I am preparing my younger two for the Sacrament, and I wonder if you could share what you have learned and done with your boys to bring them to the point of such joy over the Sacrament. Of course, I know the slate is clean, but I must still be in the frame of mind from my old CCD days! The "standard stuff" is what the New St. Joseph First Communion Catechism teaches ... listing simple things (Ch. 9, pg. 43) I'd sure like some guidance to make it more meaningful and joyful!
Thanks!
glinNC
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KackyK
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This is a game I have played with my boys. We make a shield and we put the word grace on it.
Then we ball up a bunch of papesr (or you could use wiffle balls, or some sort of 'light' balls). These are sins.
We go over how when you leave confession you now have a brand new shield of grace...smooth and clean. It's there to help you through temptations of sin. So then I and the boys step back from each other. I begin throwing "sins" at them and they have to try to shield themselves with the shield of grace. I'd say...you sneak food from the pantry, then throw the ball...I'd say, you lied about doing your chores, then throw another ball. The boys generally shield the balls...but...it definitely dents the shield. So then we practice going to confession again, sometimes some of those balls got through, sometimes it was hard to shield against the temptations. Then they come out with another clean shield. Hurray!
And I do have to admit, this is not my original idea, comes from a very good IRL friend who is a very popular 2nd grade CCD teacher too!
Oh...plus we always get a treat after confession, usually just a stop at the 7-11 on the way home for a candy or something. It's a way to acknowledge and celebrate their clean souls!
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graciefaith
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What a great game Kacky! That's something i can do with them now, even though they're not old enough for confession or FHC. They understand why dh and I go to confession but i think this would be more on their level. Thanks for passing along the great idea!
I cant wait til we can all go to confession as a family. I plan to make it a special time and have some kind of treat afterwards too.
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glinNC
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KackyK wrote:
This is a game I have played with my boys. We make a shield and we put the word grace on it.
Then we ball up a bunch of papesr (or you could use wiffle balls, or some sort of 'light' balls). These are sins.
We go over how when you leave confession you now have a brand new shield of grace...smooth and clean. It's there to help you through temptations of sin. So then I and the boys step back from each other. I begin throwing "sins" at them and they have to try to shield themselves with the shield of grace. I'd say...you sneak food from the pantry, then throw the ball...I'd say, you lied about doing your chores, then throw another ball. The boys generally shield the balls...but...it definitely dents the shield. So then we practice going to confession again, sometimes some of those balls got through, sometimes it was hard to shield against the temptations. Then they come out with another clean shield. Hurray!
And I do have to admit, this is not my original idea, comes from a very good IRL friend who is a very popular 2nd grade CCD teacher too!
Oh...plus we always get a treat after confession, usually just a stop at the 7-11 on the way home for a candy or something. It's a way to acknowledge and celebrate their clean souls!
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That is an AWESOME lesson! Thank you for sharing with us! I can't wait to implement it! 
God bless!
glinNC
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Sparrow
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Maddie wrote:
One dear priest I knew once told me when I couldn't think of any sins: "Well, if you still can't think of one sin after reading over the examination of conscience then we'll start your canonization process immediately." |
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I always feel like I don't have anything to confess, then go over a trifold pamphlet we have (primer for confession) that lists the 10 commandments and sins that can be attributed to them, and I realize I have a lot!
Our parish priest is like that, though, doesn't say much. The priest at the school dd1 currently attends (we're starting hsing this next school year) is really wonderful, I try to go to him if I can. He gives a lot of feedback and is very insightful.
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Going to Confession
