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donnalynn
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| Posted: Nov 01 2007 at 1:49pm | IP Logged
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When our family came back to the church I prepared my daughters (age 8 and 10 at the time) for their FHC and they received at the Easter Vigil Mass that year. It was beautiful. It was a very special time but we did not have a huge party or anything.
Later that year I attended the FHC Mass for the second graders (I was in the Choir) I was..well..shocked...there was a lot of talking, a lot of photo snapping, children waving...it just didn't seem like the joyous but sacred event I had pictured. At one point someone actually nudged the cantor out of the way to get a better picture.
Last year - I had a bit of hope as the FHCs were spread out through the whole month of May and held during the Sunday Masses - there were a few difficulties but over all I was thrilled and it seemed a much better way. But now this year ds will be receiving and they have gone back to the separate Saturday Mass for everyone together.
Do I just go with the flow? Do I ask for ds to receive during a simpler weekday Mass? I know there were quite a few people who were upset by the way it went last year - they were upset that there wasn't the *one* special day.
Are there ways to help the FHC Mass be more reverent? Or any ideas on how to help it be more reverent for your child in the midst of chaos?
We had the first parent meeting for sacramental prep on Monday and I am just so sad about it all.
Any thoughts would be helpful to clarify my own concerns at this point. I'd also like to hear how your own parish goes about this.
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donnalynn
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dollylima
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It really is a shame that in this age of Reality TV, everything is considered a photo op.
If the tone of the group FHC is the only aspect that bothered you, and you are otherwise okay with your child receiving the sacrament with the group, perhaps you could contact someone in the religious education department and respectfully voice your concerns, framing it in terms of the potential beauty of this moment in the childrens' lives and how it would be a shame to distract them from that moment with talking, waving and picture-taking. You could then suggest that the parents be asked to come to a meeting or acknowledge a letter stating the expected tone of the event, and why it is so important to their child that they enter the moment respectfully. The letter or announcement could indicate that there will be ample picture-taking opportunity after the mass has ended.
Perhaps if you initiate, it will once again become a part of the parish culture to show reverence on this important day.
It seems to me you would be doing all those children a service by bringing this concern into the light.
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MarieC
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donnalynn wrote:
Do I ask for ds to receive during a simpler weekday Mass?
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That's what I would do. If being there for the group event is important he could still attend. Very few would know it was not his FIRST HC. That's what happened when I was a child. We were paired up with one other child and each weekend Mass for a number of weeks has First Communicants two by two. Then one Sunday in May everyone showed up and it was more of the photo op day.
My oldest received with a group and while it was probably as reverent as a group event gets we've decided that our 2nd dd will receive with just one other child (a close friend).
donnalynn wrote:
| Are there ways to help the FHC Mass be more reverent? Or any ideas on how to help it be more reverent for your child in the midst of chaos? |
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Try to be in the front pew so any distractions are behind you and not in view. Is the irreverent behavior occurring during Mass or in the time following Mass?
donnalynn wrote:
We had the first parent meeting for sacramental prep on Monday and I am just so sad about it all.
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I will pray for you...this sounds like a very difficult time for you.
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Marie
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vmalott
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We've been in two different parishes that have both had the group FHC event. One parish held it during regular Sunday Mass, but oddly, this was the one where it felt like the big photo-op, carnival atmosphere. To me, it felt like they were trying to get the kids through as quickly as possible.
Our new parish had some guidelines set down for parents to try to enhance the reverance of the day, which was a day held separately for FHC. NO photos in church. Please no talking before Mass (in honor of the Blessed Sacrament)., etc. I think it helped some, but, well, it was still pretty loud before Mass began. However, during the time when the children actually received Our Lord, it was lovely...it was paced so that each child was able to take his or her time, receive with reverance, etc.
This parish also has an optional date, for homeschool families and others who may not be able to make it to the date for the bigger group. I've head that this is even more special, so we'll probably go w/this date in the future.
I would lean towards asking for a date separate from the big crowd...that it doesn't need to be a big to-do. Are there any other homeschooling families who may want to join you in this effort?
Valerie
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crusermom
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Hi - In one parish, the DRC told the parents - absolutely no photos during the Mass. She explained why and despite a few grumbles, people complied. To curb all the preMass talking, the Associate Pastor came out onto the alter and led a Rosary. A beautiful lead into to such a special Mass. Just some ideas.
Mary
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stacykay
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The two parishes we have attended have each done it differently.
The first has a school, so they have it all together, on a Saturday. But the tone of it has a lot to do with the individual priest. With the first HO our, at the time, new priest celebrated, it really was a free-for-all. Loud, Adults! yakking away, people jockeying for position for the best photos, and people arriving an hour early and "saving" entire pews.
After that eye-popping experience, he instituted some new rules. No photos. They contracted with a video person who filmed the whole Mass from a discrete spot. No Talking. Our dear priest actually came to the altar before Mass began and told people that they were in the presence of Jesus, reminded them what we were celebrating and told them to be quiet and respectful. And no pew-saving. He was quite strict about these rules. And it made for a wonderful First Holy Communion Mass.
At our present church, they have the children making FHC assigned to different Masses throughout Jan. and Feb. In May, they have the big Mass (which we skip.) Although it is a little less zooey with the separate Masses, we still can have up to 3 or 4 receiving at any single Mass, and people (usually grandparents) jumping into the aisles with cameras or videorecorders. I also don't care for the children being taken by the priest to say the "Our Father" on the altar. Aside from that, it works out ok.
So, I think the priest can really set the tone, if he wants to, but some just let the religious education directors run it, and that can be a potential problem.
(I can't even talk about our 17yods's Confirmation without getting upset.)
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
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donnalynn
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Thank you all - I am going to speak with the DRE and we do have a new priest this year so it would be the perfect time to set some guidelines - especially since last year was different.
Part of my reservation is that I did get permission to prepare ds at home (thank goodness - but that's another thread!) so I am leary about rocking the boat too much. But the DRE already knows some of my concerns as we already had a discussion about this in general this past summer. We are on good terms so I think I could bring this up appropriatley.
And I have to say that it is the *adults* who seemed to forget that they were in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament.
At the meeting a big part of the presentation was the catechists explaining how they give stickers for each time the children went to Sunday Mass - when they got five stickers they got a prize. The catechists expressed their hope that children would ask their parents to bring them to Mass! I just don't know how to deal with the apathy among so many - certainly not everyone - but something must be seriously amiss when they are trying these kinds of ploys to get children to Mass! What to do?
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JenniferS
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We are not allowed to take photos at our parish. Our priest has two parish members that stand out of the way at the front, and they take pictures of each first communicant receiving with his/her parents. The parish gives each First Communicant their pics as a gift. Afterwards(after Mass), if the parents want, the kids can have their pics taken by a professional photographer, and the parents can go wild with their own cameras. Our priest was very concerned about respect for the Eucharist during the reception of the Sacrament, and this has really made it all a very special and holy day.
Jen
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: FHC
