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Tina P.
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| Posted: April 25 2007 at 12:26pm | IP Logged
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I feel as though I'm fighting a losing battle. I'm trying only to get my kids to mass once per week and then slowly to add days. I like to go to mass in the evenings because then it doesn't cut into my school day. We've tried the morning and the kids just try to slack off the rest of the day. But my husband doesn't want to go because the baby's behavior in church stresses him out too much. I explained that we could go without him, but he also doesn't want us to go during dinner. I wrote him a letter, which I edited and put here. I hope that doesn't sound like hen-pecking. I don't know what else to do because I feel as though I'd distance myself from our Lord by not going, but I'm not obeying my husband's wishes by going. Does that make sense?
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Tina, wife to one and mom to 9 + 3 in heaven
Mary's Muse
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Jeanne
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| Posted: April 25 2007 at 3:30pm | IP Logged
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Tina,
Right now we do attend daily mass, but there have been different seasons in our lives where we havn't been able to(illness, weather, birth of babies--this will happen again in about 3 months for us!.
We live in a very Catholic area and have many choices for daily mass. We usually choose 8am, but if that doesn't work there are different churches with 10:00 11:30, noon-all within 15 min. of us.
I see daily mass as part of our school day, not taking away from it. Our day always seems to go better when we do go to mass, it has just become part of our routine. My children have learned good Church behavior because of this. A very holy priest asked me years ago when I was having a hard time motivating my kids to go to daily mass--Would I think of letting my kids not clean their room just because they complained about it?
My youngest is 3 and oldest is 14--it is definetly easier now having older kids to help with the younger ones.
Going to daily mass is wonderful and I highly encourage it, but don't beat yourself up if it is not working for your family right now. Dinner time is hard, during lent we went to an evening mass on Wed., I did not enjoy that as much-the little ones had a harder time sitting still. I wouldn't let it cause a rift between you and your husband.
The desire is on your heart, I would ask God to open up the opportunity for you to attend.
I will pray for you.
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Jeanne
mom to 9 (21,19,17,15,12,10,6,4,8 months
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
P hi li ppians 4:13
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aussieannie
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| Posted: April 25 2007 at 3:35pm | IP Logged
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Tina, we go to Daily Mass and I find that on days we don't go, life is never as smoother, or maybe it is a case of 'I handle the rocky bits better!'  It is routine and part of our lives - if we don't go we STILL wake up at 5.30am.....  (So there is no such thing as a sleep in) We were on camp all last week and Mass was scheduled for 9am, very late for us - but we all woke a 5.20am and everyone in the camp still blissfully asleep and with us frantically trying to work out what to do with the crying 2 year old who wants to get out of the unit.. 
I personally think that if your husband is not happy with the evening mass for all, then it is better to work out ways to make the morning mass work? What problems are you facing in particular when you return? Can you have the lessons laid out for each child before you go, so that you can walk through the door and just continue? I think that if you could have a couple of weeks establishing a new routine around this morning mass, the children might settle down...
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Spiritual Motherhood for Priests
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KellyJ
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| Posted: April 26 2007 at 6:37am | IP Logged
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Hi Tina,
We're daily Mass folks too. I'd sure like my husband's help with the younger ones, but he needs to get to work; so, we go separately -- he goes to Mass on his way into work, and we go to a morning Mass near our house.
Do you have one lighter school day each week? If so, maybe you can start with that day as your weekly morning Mass day. I know some families do that, or just go on First Fridays.
Going to daily Mass amidst homeschooling requires discipline. The children need to be accountable for the use of their time, and we moms need to stay on track too. If you are able to get to Mass every day, a rhythm and routine ought to come with it. You will likely still need to get some children back on track regularly, but a regular routine should eventually work better than going irregularly.
As for the evening Mass option, I think you should take it to prayer, asking God to work things out if He really wants you and your family at the evening Mass. In the meantime, I'd stick with trying to incorporate the morning Mass into the homeschool schedule.
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KellyJ
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Daily Mass attenders ... help?
