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JSchaaf
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| Posted: April 21 2007 at 10:57pm | IP Logged
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Is it "gossip" to write your honest feelings about people and their actions down in a completely private place where no one else will ever see those words? It makes me feel better to vent on paper and I hope that by writing some things down I can go back later and see if things have changed in this relationship, what I did to deal with it before, etc. Any advice is eagerly anticipated!
Jennifer
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Willa
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| Posted: April 22 2007 at 10:49am | IP Logged
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The essence of gossip is public and unnecessary spreading of negative information. So I wouldn't think it could be called gossip. Even if someone accidentally found it and read it, your INTENTION was privacy so you weren't trying to share and spread negative things.
Whether it is some other kind of fault would depend on intentions, I imagine -- whether it is a tool to get you to heaven or not. In your case, it sounds like you are doing it for a constructive purpose. It is good to keep evaluating though and make sure it continues to be a helpful thing (at least, this is the advice that the saints give about things that are not bad in themselves).
The only other thing I can think of is the possibility that someone might accidentally find the place where you'd written the things down. That might be embarrassing and hurtful if they were concerned in the writings. I keep a private blog where I'm the only one who can access it. I can easily delete posts I don't need anymore, and I could delete the whole thing at the push of a button if I decided it was not helpful any more. (It's not really a blog about other people but it's about issues that I don't really think are of interest to anyone but me and I am communicating only for myself, so they might be misunderstood).
A few years back, I went back through my handwritten journals and tossed almost all of them because I thought that if I should die unexpectedly I would not want my dh and children reading them. They were honest and not particularly venomous, but I was afraid that they might present a picture of my interior self that was no longer true, and therefore be misleading and a bit uncomfortable for them to read. If I ever start a handwritten journal again I will make it more factual and open so it can serve as a legacy for the family, but right now my public blog serves as a sort of journal. The private blog is because sometimes I really DO need to thrash things out in written form -- which sounds like what you are doing.
Just some things that come to mind... my daughter and I were just talking about the purpose of diary-writing the other day. So I have been thinking about it.
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Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
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helene
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| Posted: April 22 2007 at 2:58pm | IP Logged
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This is just my opinion but I think its very unwise. If its of a gossipy nature and its about people, don't write it down. Don't even give consent to it in your thoughts.
If its NOT negative and has some true constructive purpose (like home organization, curriculum decisions, time and family management, something like Willa was talking about)then great.
I'm not a diary fan, I guess, unless its all positive and glorifies God. My mother once told me that once you give your thoughts the form of a written word you lose control over it. So be very careful what you write down, even in a personal letter.....for your own protection if nothing else!
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Theresa
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| Posted: April 22 2007 at 3:27pm | IP Logged
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It would depend on the manner in which you write it.
Writing it to a certain extent and asking the Lord to help you love this person would be different than venting it all out and leaving it there. We are to take captive all thoughts to the obedience of Christ. What are your thoughts about this person? Check that first.
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insegnante
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| Posted: April 22 2007 at 3:36pm | IP Logged
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It's not gossip. I think you can write for yourself some things you would not say to others with a reasonable expectation of privacy, while remembering that after you die people close to you may read it, or being aware if someone less trustworthy may be in a position to go through your things before then.
It depends what you mean by "honest feelings" and "venting" though. Keeping in mind that it's not as reliably private as your own unwritten thoughts, I would think a journal would be governed by the same rules as consciously allowed thoughts. E.g., you wouldn't embrace thoughts like, "Ugh, I can't believe how shallow, selfish and stupid so-and-so is. Serves her right if she's miserable and her kids turn out rotten" (though those thoughts may pop into your head unwanted!) but you might reflect on the lessons the person's life teaches you, examining yourself for the qualities you so dislike in her, whether there is some way you are being led to help this person with the problems you're so aware she has, how you can give your kids a different influence from what may have helped shape her into how she is, etc.
It can be easy to cover uncharitable thoughts and speech with a veneer of concern and "what can we learn from this," though. (Speaking from experience.)
Theresa
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Gossip
