Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Cay Gibson
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Posted: July 22 2008 at 3:26pm | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

Annie and I just got home from the dance studio and the first thing I saw after popping the lasagna into the oven for supper was Vanna's plea concerning her son's viola lessons. She was asking about his practicing but she did mention the cost of his lessons as well and...since I just sat down with the dance teacher over the cost of dance for two little girls...it was fertile ground for me to think (aloud) about what this is actually costing us.

If I just had Chelsea in it the cost wouldn't be anything, but Annie's stands connected at the hip. This year both girls want to take ballet, tap and jazz. Well, actually Annie wants tap, jazz, and lyrical but Ms. Hillary told her that lyrical would have to wait until she's older.

Their teacher (whom they've been with from the start) has opened her own studio this year. She's a little more expensive than our old school.

And there are new tap shoes which will be needed.

I'm dreading the start of all this. Even more I'm dreading speaking to dh about the expense. Last year we did 3 days of dance. Dh said this year (due to gas) their classes would have to be condensed. The teacher was willing to do whatever she can to condense the classes on the same days.

Everything is so expensive.

* * * * *

What are your standards for discerning and deciding what to take and what to pay for?

Do you have a checklist that helps your decision-making? Can you share it?

How much do the children decide?

How much input does your husband give?

How much are you willing to spend per child/per activity?

Do you provide these lessons as a means toward a future goal? or just for extra curricular activities? or as a social activity?

How do you pick between teachers, studio, coaches, etc.?

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Posted: July 22 2008 at 3:31pm | IP Logged Quote MacBeth

That's a loaded question, Cay !

I'm going to sit back and read, as I am sure we pay way more than folks in other parts of the country, except other major cities. I was looking at Vanna's costs, and the lesson price is low, but the rental price is much higher than I pay. It would definitely be cheaper to buy a viola, and trade it in as the child grows...

But really, I'm going to read replies...

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Cay Gibson
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Posted: July 22 2008 at 3:34pm | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

MacBeth wrote:
I am sure we pay way more than folks in other parts of the country, except other major cities.


Ah, the difference in costs throughout America. That will be very interesting to find out.

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Posted: July 22 2008 at 3:59pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

At the moment all we do is sports.. I've found the kids just do so much better when they're active.. so a couple of the things that we look at are how active do the kids stay while doing this thing and is it something one or both of us are enthusiastic about.

At this point our kids do swimming and soccer and lacrosse.. soccer is the lowest time commitment.. it's parks and rec and is scheduled so that the kids only have 2 days a week and those days are Mon-Thurs for all the teams. So while *I* may end up running around 4 days a week.. the kids each only have 2 days either Mon/Wed or Tues/Thurs and then the times tend to overlap so it's only a couple hours max. each of those days.

Lacrosse involved a lot because it's a club and my dh plays and is getting the training for being a referee.. and I've been learning both the boys game (all that's played here.. so the girls play that too) and learning the women's game so that someone will know how to play it if we get enough girls to be able to start that.. at the moment we need the kids as condensed as possible to get a team together.. we're looking at potentially 4 levels for next year.. varsity, jv, 7th/8th grade and 4-6th grade... I tend to work with the 4-6th grade.. but we even stretch that.. my 1st and 2nd graders were playing with them last year.. and this year I'll have K, 2, 3, 5, 6 graders playing (ugh more gear to buy) I've also looked into soft lacrosse for the youngest kids and how we might be able to set up a local group for that (like a parks and rec league)..

Swim team again is a club type organization and the parents are the ones that run it.. so.. if you're a parent you help out.. this year I've been feeling like so much dead weight.. with a baby born in the middle of the season it's not like I could volunteer to do any of the jobs...

oh yeah there is no "picking between" here.. we're lucky to have one organization to do the activity through.

I don't care for any of the dance offered here that I've seen.. too sexualized in my opinion.. and I've noticed most people around here give it up once the girls get a bit bigger.. like it's not such a problem up to about age 8-10 but once the girls start developing.. they stop doing dance. At least one family from our Church stopped because of the costumes.

My dh doesn't care for baseball at all.. and it and football are the bigger sports here.. but I don't see the kids getting near the activity that the sports we've chosen to do get.. and it's just not worth it to us to try and be enthusiastic about something we're not.

The only sports I've played since 5th grade (one and only stint of vollyball) have been pick up games at group picnics or the like. I've literally been learning all these sports from scratch.. oh swimming I did know a bit more about because I did swim when I was little.. swim lessons.. with a group that apparently from what my mom told me was very competetive.. they'd approach parents to get kids with talent to do more training for various things including the olympics. And I was good at it.. and it's showing up in my children.

I think we'd also consider something like martial arts if any were available here.

I guess I'm not much help.. we just don't have many options. The kids would love music lessons.. and we can find those.. but at this point it's one more thing and I just can't manage it.. and I don't feel like it's a good choice overall for our family to trade an active sport for music.. plus the fact that we're very limited in what we can get lessons for and very limited in space for having musical instruments around.. and even more limited in space that is safe from exploring toddlers.

As far as the cost.. we tend to set aside money for these things when we have larger chunks of money.. my dh works at a job that generates a lot of overtime in the summer so early fall is usually a good time to set aside money for lacrosse and tax return is usually a good time to set aside money for swimming (soccer isn't really all that expensive.. no extra equipment to buy and just a flat fee of like $20 for the 6 weeks.. all volunteer coaches and such).. I guess if we had a more even handed income we'd have to plan to set aside a certain amount from every paycheck.. it really works much nicer to spread out the cost rather than trying to come up with a lump sum out of a normal months salary.

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Posted: July 22 2008 at 5:29pm | IP Logged Quote PDyer

My son swims (winter and summer), plays baseball (spring - summer), participates in Boy Scouts and plays violin (both year round).

My daughter swims (winter and summer), plays soccer, (opposite ballet), dances early ballet (opposite soccer) and plays violin (both year round).

Our sports activities are offered through the local YMCA, city parks and recreation department and county-wide arts center. Our parish sponsors the Boy Scout troop. The violin lessons are given free by a lady who goes to our church and has been teaching her kids and her kids friends for years. While we have a lot of activities available to us, we don't have multiple sources for activities in a reasonable distance.

Cay Gibson wrote:
What are your standards for discerning and deciding what to take and what to pay for?


Our kids have to show STRONG interest, work ethic and willingness to prepare themselves to go without complaint. And the activity cannot require me to be in two places at once during my husband's tax season.

We took on a new swimming activity last winter. My son started swimming with a private coach (college student) last winter. We offered the opportunity to him (he's not the kind of kid to ask) because of his love of the sport and a less-than-optimal swim team coaching situation. The relationship continued after winter swim season ended because of (1) the relationship he developed with the coach; (2) his future aspirations for the sport and (3) the coach has been a positive role model to Matthew beyond being a good swimmer. When the college student comes back in August we'll start up again.

Cay Gibson wrote:
Do you have a checklist that helps your decision-making? Can you share it?


No, sorry.

Cay Gibson wrote:
How much do the children decide?


To the extent they show interest and we don't have a conflict I'm willing to try new activities. Right now I think we have a manageable set of activities such that if my daughter (more than likely) wants to try something new she's going to have to drop an existing activity.

Cay Gibson wrote:
How much input does your husband give?


I'm primarily responsible for the day-to-day operations of kid activities, so I do most of the decision making unless we're taking on something new and big. Seeing the private swim coach would qualify as new and big, and we had a detailed discussion about it (Dad, Mom and boy). Other than that he has veto power. ETA of course he is a great fan and serves on the parent's board for swimming as well.

Cay Gibson wrote:
How much are you willing to spend per child/per activity?


I haven't mentally capped costs, so I can't answer that question meaningfully. But we also haven't spent all *that much on activities. Madeline is a beginning ballet child, so there's not much there yet.

ETA I checked Quicken year to date. I believe activities here are very reasonably priced com[ared to larger but still not NY/Washington/Chicago sized cities.

We spent the most dollars on swimming, but the per kid cost is the same as Boy Scouts. Boy Scouts expenses included the uniform, the books, equipment, that won't be recurring expenses. Ballet was next most expensive. We paid almost $200 (for one ten-week session and the membership to the arts center) so far this year. We'll just have to pay the session fees in the fall since the membership is paid. Soccer and baseball were under $50 each.

I forgot to say we own my son's violin (bought last year) and we borrow my daughter's. We own an eighth as well but we're going to keep it until she grows into a full-size instrument and then we'll trade it in. I paid $25/month when we were renting.

Cay Gibson wrote:
Do you provide these lessons as a means toward a future goal? or just for extra curricular activities? or as a social activity?


Swimming is a means to a future goal for my son. He really wants to swim in college, and we're told it's quite possible he could. Baseball was Matthew's first love, which is now waning in favor of swimming. Boy Scouts is for life skills and because the scoutmaster is a wonderful, wonderful example and the boys in the troop are great. Violin is for exposure to beauty and because I wish I had persevered with music as a child. My daughter's activities are extracurricular and social.

Posting...this got really, really long. ETA I'll stop now...

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Posted: July 22 2008 at 5:45pm | IP Logged Quote stefoodie

Ours have changed through the years. Bottom line, if the talent is there and we have the time and the $$ to afford it, we let the kids pursue whatever they want to pursue. Martial arts, violin, piano, dance, gymnastics, etc.

Now with costs of basic stuff skyrocketing, we're thinking twice. I told the kids this fall we'll do our best, but no promises. They might end up just staying home until we move to Italy next year. Which means giving up dance, voice lessons, and swimming for ~2 years -- in previous years I would have worried about their "future" in these areas if there is indeed a future to pursue seriously, but we really have had to look at how we're spending our money and much as I hate to admit it, these things are further down the list as far as getting them to heaven, so they'll be one of the first to go if need be.

Quote:
Do you have a checklist that helps your decision-making?


Usually it's

1. Is the interest there? Does the child want to do this? We usually wait for the child to express interest. Or if we find something that we think they might like, we offer, but go by their first reaction and don't push.
2. Is the talent there? Usually this means at least a few classes if #1 is satisfied. And usually they themselves can tell if the class is a good fit for their skills or not.
3. Is the money there?
4. What's the time commitment? This is a biggie for me but not for dh. I'm the one who complains when I feel something takes too much time away from family -- but dh's solution to this usually is we just need to go and support each other as much as we can -- e.g., even though I don't take martial arts, to be there as often as possible with the kids and not stay home to clean house, etc.

Recently #3 has become most important. Talent and interest, I know from experience, will remain if it's meant to be -- I still play piano and compose songs on occasion (though rusty) 18 years after I had my last lesson. I wish we didn't have to make the sacrifice but at the same time I'm thankful for whatever opportunities we've been able to afford for the kids so far. He will continue to provide what He knows we need :)

Quote:
How much input does your husband give?

The husband supports whatever the kids and I decide is worth it. And then he's always their biggest cheerleader.

Edited to add: He's had more input with the kids when it comes to more physical stuff: martial arts, swimming, sports, scouting, etc. I have more input when it comes to developing musical or artistic abilities...

Quote:
How much are you willing to spend per child/per activity?


Depends. Dance wasn't too bad last year $450 plus extra for performances, etc. Voice lessons $130+/month + more if we want extras or longer lessons. Martial arts was $300+/month for the whole family (4 people) plus uniforms and tournaments. Violin was $60+/month. Basketball was $60 or so for the 1-week clinic, more in the fall if they want to do more. If I had the money and they had the interest I wouldn't put a cap at all on spending. But that's not the case.

Edited to add: those classes weren't all taken at the same time!!   Martial arts were until last year, violin also... voice lessons don't start 'til Sept.

Quote:
Do you provide these lessons as a means toward a future goal? or just for extra curricular activities? or as a social activity?


So that the kids can explore and develop their God-given talents and "be the best person they can be" -- I think I've heard that saying too many times: Most people only use 10% of their God-given gifts. If it turns into a career then so be it, but if it just results in a hobby or a well-rounded personality, that's okay too.

Quote:
How do you pick between teachers, studio, coaches, etc.?


I usually ask for recommendations from fellow homeschoolers/parents, go there myself (or hubby does, as with the martial arts and basketball) and interview the teachers/coaches and let the student(s) talk to them as well, determine how comfortable they are, etc.

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Posted: July 22 2008 at 6:55pm | IP Logged Quote guitarnan

Great thread.

My son's activities center around Boy Scouts. I did splurge on a Philmont trek this year, knowing it is a life-changing experience. He needs this challenge...like many teens, he is kind of lazy and prefers not to challenge himself.

Both of my children do archery but that's not too expensive and they use county-provided equipment.

My daughter would do any activity in the area...right now she takes piano lessons, is a Girl Scout and is a competitive Irish step dancer. I just shelled out literally hundreds of dollars for her (required) competition dress. I don't mind because 1) she shows talent, enthusiasm and huge drive; 2) it is excellent exercise; 3) the dance school and the girls who attend it are, for the most part, wonderful; and 4) she has huge energy levels and dancing really has helped her channel her energy into useful pathways.

We do worry about cost (I save all year around for these expenses, so when new hard shoes or other expensive items are needed, I have the money), but I also have to worry about managing the driving schedule. My dh just can't help.

This fact has the effect of keeping activities to an affordable and manageable level, most of the time. I have not, so far, had to say no to a competition entry fee or camping fee.

Having said that, I have told the children that I can't 1) manage baseball or soccer AND archery and 2) I can't drive all over the known universe every day - Fridays in particular are kept activity-free. The entire family's interests have to be kept in mind. I love my children and want to foster their talents, but I don't think we have to bankrupt ourselves or give up our happy family dinners to do so.

So...my dd, who has a lovely voice, sings in the (free) children's choir and doesn't take voice lessons. That can wait until later, IMHO. My artistic son will take photography at the community college, not at an expensive arts center. We try to look for ways encourage their gifts to grow, but not the most expensive ways.

One thing both children would like to do is spend time abroad (I was an exchange student, so I get this), but we still have to figure out a way to do this that is affordable and educational. The last thing I want is for my son to head off to Europe and hang out with his friends playing Guild Wars, KWIM?

I think parents have a responsibility to show children that resources are limited and that we must all plan ahead and save and sacrifice if we want to do special activities. I don't feel obligated to eat beans all week so my daughter can have the world's most expensive and beautiful solo dance costume (when that day arrives...). She knows she has to buy a used dress, at a reasonable price.

Real life works this way. No one's entitled to all fun, all the time. I can't read books and play guitar all day, nor can I travel every month or take Italian classes - I have to educate my children. I hope that the process of trying different activities and making choices helps my children to become good adult decision-makers.

I love this thread...so many great thoughts....

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Posted: July 22 2008 at 7:12pm | IP Logged Quote SuzanneG

I have SO enjoyed reading everyone's responses. My girls are all very young still and we basically have done nothing 'organized' until this summer.....they took swimming lessons, which they were BEGGING me for.

So, right now....that's my gauge...they have to be begging.

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Posted: July 22 2008 at 7:12pm | IP Logged Quote Tina

My 3 dds get to do one "paid" activity a year. My husband thinks that since we never had all these activities when we were kids, that our children don't need all this either. I partly see his point, but still think there are wonderful things for the children to participate in that probably weren't as accessible when we were young.

So we negotiated, and that's how we came up with the one paid activity per year. My dd12 does theatre, my dd9 does karate and my dd6 does ballet. We basically talk to them about it every summer to make sure the commitment is there for another year before we sign anything. My husband doesn't give much input unless there's a price increase.   

We chose these places partly due to cost. The ballet is through a local community center and is very reasonable. The karate is the most reasonable around and very close to our house. Both karate and ballet have excellent teachers. And the Theatre is the only local one I'm aware of.

I haven't really thought about the future with these activities. If dd6 continues ballet in her teens, that's wonderful, but I'm more concerned about the benefits it gives her now (self-confidence, fitness, listening skills, etc.). The karate for dd9 works well for fitness, self-confidence and self-defense. And the theatre has given dd12 experience in standing up in front of adults and auditioning. She has also worked "behind the scenes" and is given tasks by the adults and that teaches her responsibility.

We don't do these for social reasons at all (although they have made some friends). Since we are paying, we want them to focus on the lesson or class. But they have homeschool clubs they can socialize in, along with playdates.

I also couldn't imagine doing any more than this, because we have to "school" sometime and I like being at home . And in addition to these things, we are part of a co-op, dd9 has swim lessons, and dd6 has speech class.

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Posted: July 22 2008 at 10:18pm | IP Logged Quote TracyQ

Hi Cay! I hear ya!

What are your standards for discerning and deciding what to take and what to pay for?

We try to create a balance between activities that are organized and being home and having time to be *creative.* We feel it's really important to create that balance, because it's easy not to. Many of their interests and talents have come from their resourcefulness because they've had time to create without being in all organized activities.

Do you have a checklist that helps your decision-making? Can you share it?

No checklist, but again, the balance. We evaluate each opportunity that comes up and make sure the scale is not tipping for each child, AND for the family as a whole. And we have to take into consideration that we're a one car family, so that makes a huge difference, but sometimes, it also helps us to keep that balance, because we can't be in two places at the same time if we only have one car!

How much do the children decide?

They get to help decide much more because they're all teenagers now. But we make the decision together for the good of the family.

How much input does your husband give?

We decide together, all of us for the most part. If it affects me more (like daytime when he is at work), I get more input into the decision.

How much are you willing to spend per child/per activity?

It depends on the activity, the length of the activity (how many weeks, etc.), and what the goals are in doing it, etc. Also, whether we can afford it or not. Some things now the kids can't do if they can't pay for it themselves. So often, they decide they don't want to do it if they have to pay. It's amazing what perspective on money they get when it's their own money that's being spent!    

Do you provide these lessons as a means toward a future goal? or just for extra curricular activities? or as a social activity?

All of the above.

How do you pick between teachers, studio, coaches, etc.?

Pray, try to think of the child, and their personality, and their needs, and be sure they will be able to work well with the instructor, etc. Sometimes you don't have choices, and there are lessons learned if you get a coach for instance that isn't great. But God always works it out. And disappointments are lessons to be learned too in life, so sometimes that happens too.

Our kids...........

Jake (out of high school now), but he's in a christian men's fast pitch softball league this summer. That's his only organized activity. He plays basketball most weeks at church with his dad.

Zach- 11th grade next year... no organized activities in summer. Fall is flag football with the homeschool league, and all year will be instrument ensemble with homeschool support group. He's also in our adult choir (as part of school, not his choice). Plays basketball with brother and father some weeks.

Sarah- 8th grade next year...nothing organized this summer, but this coming school year she'll have guitar lessons weekly, instrument ensemble with homeschool group, Scottish Country Dance with homeschool group weekly (her very favorite activity), Socratic Discussion group every other Friday, and Homeschool Co-op every other Friday. She's also in our adult choir (as part of school, not her choice).

Sarah is our most active, but she's a girl, and needs more social activity, so we're OK with that. She is also our only girl, and the youngest, so she also needs more social activity because of that as well.

We pay for guitar lessons weekly ($10.00 ish, though we'll give her $12.00 this coming year), homeschool ensemble is about $225.00 for the school year (three sessons, $75.00 each), and Scottish Country Dance is about $150.00 per year (3 sessions of $50.00 each). Weekly basketball is $3.00 each person who plays, and that goes to charity mostly anyway.And homeschool co-op is $50.00 for the year (a bargain). So all in all, we try to create a balance between finding activities that cost a reasonable amount of money, and opportunities that are free. ALL activities have to be toward some type of goal, even if it's social, physical activity, or whatever.

There are SO many reasonable and free opportunities out there. Sometimes bartering is a way too you can try to be able to get services too. Pray for what you need, and you'll find MULTITUDES of them come your way!

Love,
Tracy




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Posted: July 22 2008 at 11:05pm | IP Logged Quote JenniferS

We've just been discerning this. Our four oldest have taken violin lessons for the past two years(the oldest two longer still). They are all interested, but oldes dd and youngest(of the four) ds are probably the most "talented." However, the lessons are in another town(gas money) and, due to our straining budget, cost prohibitive. There is a teacher here in town, but she charges more, and woudl probably only take oldest dd. We really love our instructor in the next town over. He is so good with all of the kids. We've really struggled over this.

Oldest dd also takes piano lessons, from my old piano teacher(our church oragnist, and she is 82). She just lives doen the road, and she didn't want to charge us anything, but we insisted on something, so she charges a very small fee. The boys aren't remotely interested in the piano yet, and I really don't want to inflict these disinterested guys on her.

The boys will probably play soccer this fall, but we are blessed in that are recreation department charges a very small fee for sports($10 per child). I know my siblings that live elsewhere pay a lot more than that.

I guess for us the very first thing we look at is: Can we squeeze it from our budget? (I guess that actually comes after a child has shown interest--most of the time.) Then we look at our schedule: Do we have time? ANd somewhere in there we weigh whether we will benefit from the activity or not.   

We have decided that whether or not we can afford lessons(which we cannot right now) the kids will continue to play the violin. In fact a friend just bought the kids the music for Lord of the Rings and told them to learn it because she wants a recital. We'll see about that. I do think the kids can do some on their own for now, so that when finances do allow, we can get back into lessons without losing too much skill, if any.

Oh...and dh weighs in on the final answer, but I am the one that has to do the budget and try to find a way to squeeze the money out. Dh wants nothing to do with the budget. I could go without groceries for a couple of months to pay for the lessons, but we'd get awfully hungry, I think.

Jen
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Posted: July 23 2008 at 3:59am | IP Logged Quote Kathryn UK

Cay, I'm pretty much where you are, but a few classes ahead . Both my older two dance. Rachel takes ballet (3 classes a week), modern (somewhere between lyrical and jazz), tap and jazz; Hannah takes modern, tap and jazz and is restarting ballet next term after an 18 month gap.

The total cost of classes for both of them for next term is just under £500 ($1000), and we have three terms in a year. Rachel's tap shoes cost £50, and pointe shoes £35. Fortunately her feet seem to have stopped growing and her pointe shoes have outlasted all her friends . Last term I paid £115 for exam fees, and on top of that there were extra exam classes. Overall, I think dance costs us around £2000 ($4000) a year. At least we don't have to add in driving costs as the dance school is only 10 minutes walk away. We also decided against letting the girls dance competitively, partly because of the expense and partly because of the time commitment it would require.

Both girls do dance for fun and fitness. Rachel has talent and would be capable of getting a place at dance college. For a while she wanted to train as a dance teacher, but has now decided she just wants to dance as a hobby.

Another plus is that university entry in the UK uses a points system. Mostly the points come from the results of academic exams taken at age 18, but advanced grade music and dance exams also score points. Rachel is now only one grade below the vocational exams that earn UCAS points, so is reaching the stage where dance will have real value on her c.v. when it comes to university applications (if she wants to go that route).

Financially there are times when it is a strain. At one point we took money out of the girls own savings accounts to pay the dance fees, feeling we might as well apply it for their benefit now. Overall, we give dance a high priority because it works for our family ... the girls have a shared interest, they get plenty of exercise, and have made some good friends through the dance school. Now I have a 2yo who wants to do dance like her big sisters. Eek!

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Posted: July 28 2008 at 4:03pm | IP Logged Quote onemoretracy

This is such a great thread. I hope more people will comment.

My oldest 4 did swim team this summer and loved it. It was about 300.00 for all 3 and it was about a 6 week program. They had practice one hour every day and a swim meet once a week. Since that has ended, we have not participated in any activities the rest of the summer. The fall activity season is coming up and I am in the process of discerning what we can do.

It is looking like piano for the two oldest for sure. They can walk to their class (!)
Jake(10) and Ryan(8) will be doing ConQuest (A catholic boys club) this fall once a week. Ryan will also do flag football. It is one day a week with practice and a game the same afternoon. Jake will probably do karate. Luke(6) is playing soccer at our parish and Laine(6) will have a beginning gymnastics class. She has never had any dance or gym before and my mom gave this class to her for a Christmas present!

I have mixed emotions about how much we are doing and how much we will continue to do. Ryan is very athletic and talented and is awesome at whatever sport he tries. He really seems to have a particular love for football though. He is begging to do the full on tackle football, but mama isn't ready for that yet! Jake doesn't really love any particular sport, but he likes the camraderie of swim team even though he isn't the best or fastest. My DH is hoping karate will give him some physical confidence which we both feel he needs. Luke is very athletic too and seems to love soccer. He is still young so we'll keep it to fall and maybe spring parish soccer this year. I think Laine will love gym. Now, Mary Clare is 3 and people are asking me all the time when we are going to put her in a gym class (she is amazingly flexible!) but Hello? she was only 3 last month!

I want the kids to physical confidence and fun, but I do wonder about how much to commit our time and money to what I feel are basically extras. ConQuest is for virtue and leadership skill building and I like the other families involved and I do see and positive benefit on my boys character. Piano lessons are an extra, but hopefully they help foster a love of beauty and add to the general well roundedness I want for my kids. I know sports are beneficial as well, but I feel they are soooooo over-emphasized, at least in my area. I guess I feel activities in general are really pushed. I don't want to cut all sports out or anything, I just want my family to be balanced.

I mean the odds of my kids being 'pros' at a sport are pretty slim. Even a sports college scholarship is just so rare and I tend to feel if we are going to shoot for a scholarship of some sort we should keep the main emphasis on academics. If we can get into extra activities without sacrificing the more important things like family relationships, academics thier faith life....great. However, when we begin to feel a strain I tell ya, those activities are going to be the first things cut!

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