Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Subject Topic: The struggles of 8-9 year old boys. Post ReplyPost New Topic
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knowloveserve
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Posted: June 02 2011 at 12:57pm | IP Logged Quote knowloveserve

I've read a lot of threads on here about how we ought to relax with young boys and reading and writing.   And I do for the most part. My first three children are boys and they're all developing their academics at their own pace.

All LOVE to read; this gives me great consolation when I'm tempted to worry. My nearly 5 year old is happy leafing through books by himself and "reading" things like "Brown Bear, Brown Bear". He writes basic letters if they are modeled for him; we use the free handwriting worksheets often. He is eager to "do school" and will be starting the precursor books for ETC next fall.

My 6 year old taught himself to read this year. He's the best reader of the boys. He has an intuitive sense of sounding out letters and can get pretty near the correct spelling of words without seeing them.

Then there's my son who'll be 9 in early September (those wierd fall birthdays that put a child on the cusp of two grade levels). This past year, he's done a blend of 2nd and 3rd grade work. He's pretty much at a 3rd grade level in all things except writing. He can read fairly well, he guesses a lot at words but I either just calmly correct him or have him pause and sound it out. I'm not worried about his reading skills because I know he loves to read and being a boy, my expectations need to be patiently drawn out.

His writing concerns me. I'd say he's at a less than 2nd grade level. He did many lessons in PLL this year but hated anything that wasn't oral... so frankly I avoided or severely truncated most lessons which involved a pencil. He can't spell at all. I think he struggles with the abstract picture of the word in his brain. He can read fairly complex words fine, but he can't even spell four letter words unless he's asking for affirmation (in an exasperated voice) after every. single. letter.

His handwriting is terrible-ish. He CAN write well, like when he's doing a Handwriting w/out Tears page, but anything outside of that book looks horrid and his formation is all out the window. I was thinking of introducing cursive next year, but he probably could benefit from MORE basic handwriting.

Then I wonder if I should have spelling be another "subject"... I mean, we LEAN very slightly toward an unschooly home but the struggle and hate he has with writing really concerns me. I maybe am feeling pressured from others' accomplishments that my son really OUGHT to be able to spell much better than he can.

I thought about investing in Bravewriter... love what I hear about the program. But it sounds like it really is geared toward creative writing? I wonder if I'd be jumping the gun if my son has no confidence to even write "Let us pray" without throwing a ten-minute fit about it. His mechanics are a big hang-up for him and I think that's a big part of why he doesn't like to write... much less do any creative writing. He tends to like to do things that he knows he's good at. The idea of him writing 3 sentences out of his out thoughts would be laughable if it weren't so sad.

Finally, this is probably a struggle for me to accept because I was a very early reader/writer and have records of full poems I wrote by age 5. I know and firmly believe that each child is different and has a different learning style... but it's really hard to not let my frustration show when he's not grasping concepts that I "feel" like he should know by now.

*I guess I'm just looking for encouragement/advice/information...

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kristinannie
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Posted: June 02 2011 at 1:19pm | IP Logged Quote kristinannie

I do think that boys are more difficult to deal with in this area (and my oldest boy is only 5 so take this for what it is worth). If he is having trouble with spelling, I highly recommend AAS. It teaches why things are spelled. You could easily start with level 2 and move up pretty quickly.

My DS5 hated handwriting. I was using CHC handwriting and it was a disaster. I switched to Zaner Bloser and now he loves it. I have heard a lot of great things about HWOT though! It is supposed to be the last ditch effort for people.

I was having a similar problem with teaching reading to DS5. I realized it was a confidence thing. I had to use some bribery (M&M's and a treasure box filled with inexpensive toys were my friend). Once he started getting some confidence, just reading for itself started to be enough. I also promised him a party when we get through the first level of readers. That has really gotten him excited to read.

Anyway, I am obviously new to this so my advice might be ridiculous! Do know that I am praying for you so that God will grant you the grace to know how to handle the situation. When it comes to our kids, I truly think that God will lead you to the right choices. Trust yourself!!!! God bless!

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JodieLyn
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Posted: June 02 2011 at 1:32pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

hmmm could he need to develop more strength in his hands, fine motor control? Maybe backing up and doing things that aren't writing but develop fine motor skills.. would help him when writing.

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ekbell
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Posted: June 02 2011 at 3:36pm | IP Logged Quote ekbell

My family has a history of dysgraphia (extraordinary difficulties with writing- in severe cases writing by hand can be quite painful- the wikapedia entry gives a good example of the type and possible severity of pain)and primary advice is to separate out the different writing tasks as much as possible as many sufferers find it impossible to think and physically write at the same time.

So copywork for handwriting (very short amounts at first), either oral work(spelling bee!) or letter tiles for spelling, oral grammar (plus proofreading practice later on), oral composition (into tape recorder or dictation to mom)plus early introduction to typing and usingword processors (many people with dysgraphia find typing much easier and editing is a lot more tolerable on a word processor).

In many cases the child will be able to merge the various writing tasks together once they mastered them separately, they simply need a bit of extra time and practice, other children may continue to need a bit of extra accomendation t(for example one of my brothers was given a laptop and extra time for written exams in college)
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Erin
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Posted: June 02 2011 at 4:41pm | IP Logged Quote Erin

Ellie

I can't really speak for your child, he could be well different to mine but I can only share my own experience.

With my older two boys I thought, "They are boys, it will come later" and I let them off 'the hook' often. Well I'm afraid it didn't come later naturally and even now at 16 and 14 they are having to do remedial handwriting and spelling.

With boy no. 3,nearly 12, I've done things differently. I've been stricter regards handwriting and his is quite neat, truthfully he has a natural neater hand but I have been more insistent. His spelling has a looong way to go, I think he truly has trouble 'hearing' vowels (his older siblings did too) but I'm being very consistent with his dictation. I love this program and am seeing excellent progress with all my children. Works for us. btw ds12 was a much later reader than my others, wasn't reading independently till 9, not reading for pleasure till 10/11.

I've just started insisting on written narrations. (I wouldn't do that before 10) Still I'm having higher expectation earlier than I did first time around.

I was/am unschooly but I really regret not being 'schooly' about the basics. I was with maths, why not with Language Arts??

Just my story, not necessarily yours.

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annabelle125
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Posted: June 13 2011 at 2:27pm | IP Logged Quote annabelle125

I have a 9 year old ds, who will be 10 in August. I could have pretty much written your post. He is a terrible speller--although when he was in school he tested well because he's a good memorizer, then he promptly forgot.

He also is a lefty with fine motor issues so his printing is pretty bad, but getting better. His cursive is well lets just say we stick to printing and oral work...I am going to check into dysgraphia-- this is the 2nd time in the past 3 days someone has mentioned it..

Anyway, I will be starting All about Spelling Level 1 with him this year and going from there. I have heard very good things about AAS and it is not too costly.
As for writing, practice makes...better?

Blessings,

Anne

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stacykay
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Posted: Sept 20 2011 at 11:48am | IP Logged Quote stacykay

Bringing this back up, as I am having problems with my 9yods (10 in Nov.) and his handwriting. He is still struggling to do just a first year cursive handwriting book. Everyday is tears. He doesn't understand why we have to write in cursive.

I know I need to switch writing programs (the one I have is the fancier Zaner/Bloser style.) I would love any recommendations (is the Handwriting without Tears really tear-free?) Any fine-motor skill activities that you have seen help? Anything? Help!


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Mackfam
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Posted: Sept 20 2011 at 12:58pm | IP Logged Quote Mackfam

Stacy,
My older son really struggled with fine motor skills....and cursive writing.

A few things really helped him:

** These metal insets presentations. I know - you're saying, "What?????" But, give it a chance. First, you don't have to get a set of metal insets (although they're nice). You can use a good sized puzzle piece instead - most of us have those Melissa and Doug wooden puzzles with a little wooden peg on the top. Any of those would work just fine for this exercise. The point is that the child needs *some kind of simple shape to hold and use*. This exercise REALLY, REALLY helps with fine motor skills, and to a certain extent will remediate a lot. The child can be creative with color, and usually will jump at the chance to do this in exchange for handwriting time. My oldest dd really wanted to improve her penmanship a few years ago and I suggested this exercise for her to start with. She was amazed at the difference she saw! This exercise was a tremendous help to my oldest son that struggles with fine motor skills!

** I usually recommend Startwrite for handwriting pages. The thing that makes this program unique is that you can build as short or as long a handwriting exercise page as you want. Want to build a cursive page that lets him practice writing his name in cursive? You can do that. He already has a distaste for penmanship exercises - how about at least making the selection fun for him to write? Choose a line from something he really loves reading, or a poem he's memorizing, or a law of physics, or football/baseball/sports stats!!! The point is that it will be interesting to him. There are many font selections to choose from; we settled on simple, straightforward New American Cursive. You can tell the program to print guide lines, or dotted lines, or just print the selection without any guide lines so that the child has something to look at and reference. It's very workable and I found it HUGELY helpful to be able to enter specifically interesting stuff for my new cursive writer.

** I have also used, and do quite enjoy, the Memoria Press copybooks. I like their selections, and I also like the choices in themes in their copybooks. If you need something already chosen for you in terms of copybook practice, these are a nice option.

** Themed copywork pages. You'll have to scroll through a good bit to find a copywork download in the font type you want, but I found some great options at Currclick, and the themes work toward that interest level that helps the child want to put the pencil to the paper. There are just oodles of subjects for which copybooks have already been created. I downloaded a football copybook from Happy Scribe, and unfortunately I can't link you directly because it looks like they're doing some work on their copybooks, but I like Happy Scribe a lot, too.

*************************************

Thinking back to the last two years of working with my son, who will be 11 in a month, and his struggles with writing and fine motor skills. Here are a couple of the strategies I adopted to help him:

** REALLY, really short lessons. I only asked for about 5 minutes of work time.

** Alternating days of handwriting/penmanship and practice developing fine motor skills with the insets activity.

** Penmanship practice using copywork on topics and themes which REALLY appealed to my son.

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Posted: Sept 20 2011 at 1:14pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

Startwrite also has the ability to change the size of teh fonts.. so you can use the exact same font but a bit bigger so that it's easier to learn with less fine motor control.

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stacykay
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Posted: Sept 20 2011 at 4:01pm | IP Logged Quote stacykay

Thank you, thank you, Jen! 9yods is number 5 in our "line-up," and the first four boys never had this struggle. I know he'll love the "coloring" instead of handwriting.    

I'm glad to know about the changeable fonts, Jodie. I can use it for the older and younger brothers, too.

I'm off to check out your other links and to map out a plan of "gentle" attack on his handwriting.


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Stacy in MI
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