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dolorsofmary
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| Posted: March 26 2011 at 10:04am | IP Logged
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I am doing little saints preschool program at home with my little 5.5 yo who will be 6 in August. I plan on starting MODG K with my son in the fall. I have been reading him copious books to him since he was 3 months old and going to the library every week of his life practically. so what is the problem? He does not want to read. Well I guess I might be able to solve the problem with the cost of the $300.00 sing spell read write program. I hope to avoid the cost though becuase my husband is out of work presently! I have teach your child the read in 100 easy lessons which my son does not like. I have printed the very 1st 2 lessons of alphaphonics off the web and he doesn't like them. I have tried just having him read a few simple words here andthere as I read to him and he does not like that either. I have tried the 'morning message' where I write on a white board 'Hello .... today is .... Today we will be doing ....' or whatever and have him circle the letters and words he knows and have him pronounce the letters and words he knows (he does very well at this but he gets bored with it. The only word he will admit to knowing his name. My husband says he is lazy. I don't know what to do. I don't want him to fall behind.
Some say he'll get it - let him be. Others say there is a magic age around 5 yos and after that learning to read is harder. I don't want my son to miss out.
Please give me some guidance. Thank you!
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: March 26 2011 at 10:17am | IP Logged
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I'm in the "when they are ready to get it, it i s a million times easier" camp. We watched a lot of Letter Factory and Talking Words Factory at that age, and my oldest was finally ready around 6 - 6 1/2. I think my next two will be closer to five when they are ready, but it is very common for boys to be later at reading and not uncommon for that later to be closer to nine, even for some girls.
You might read the book Better Late Than Early. It could help alleviate some of those fears. It is a challenge not to fret, especially a first time homeschooling mom. It's hard to know whether it just isn't time or you are "doing something wrong." But, really, I would not push a young child who isn't ready to learn. You will both be frustrated! There is no magical age for ANY milestone. Yes, developmental milestones exist, but as with crawling, walking, eating solids, teething, whatever, there are as many varieties of how and when it will occur as there are children!
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
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[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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guitarnan
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| Posted: March 26 2011 at 10:22am | IP Logged
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While it's true that children learn to read at different ages, you might want to think about several things. First, is he under pressure to read from you and your dh? I haven't used the materials you mention, but I know they're pretty gentle in their approach. What I'm wondering is how you and dh react to your son when he doesn't read with/for you. (In front of him, I mean - I'm assuming you're discussing your concerns together when he's asleep or out of the room.) He's young enough so you can ease up a bit if you decide he's reacting to pressure by refusing to read.
Second, I wonder whether you've used some video resources (Sesame Street, Read Between the Lions) - many of which you can find at your public library - to add a bit of fun to the learning process. Read Between the Lions is cute, but it is also very educational.
If your son is pronouncing letters and words he knows, that's a good sign. Have you explained to him that sometimes learning to do a useful and fun thing, like reading, does involve some "boring" parts? Not all learning is fun, but everyone needs to learn to read, write and do math regardless.
Children do learn at different ages; my dd learned to read at a much earlier age than did my ds.
I am sure other members will have some great ideas for you, too - and they probably won't cost $300.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Barbara C.
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| Posted: March 26 2011 at 11:14am | IP Logged
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The studies show that most kids learn to read between the ages of 4 and 9 with 6 being the average age. Of course, you have to determine what constitutes reading ability. At what point would you consider him a reader? Readers are actually broken down into four categories Emergent, Early, Transitional, and Fluent. So you may need to think what your expectations are for his age.
You aren't very clear about where he is at. For instance, does he know his letter sounds? Can he read three-letter words with an short "a" sound (cat, hat)? And is he incapable or will he just not try? Will he not try because he is scared of failure or because he's just slightly passive aggressive and doesn't want to give you the satisfaction? Could his temperament be playing a part in this?
Also is he writing anything at all? Can he write his name? Does he try to write anything out phonetically? My girls learned a lot just by trying to caption their pictures.
I currently have a five and half year old. She will be six in October. Due to her late birthday she wouldn't be in kindergarten in public school until this fall. She can currently read most three letter words. She looks through books and tries to decode the words. She also likes to do multi-digit addition and subtraction problems in her head.
Now before you get discouraged let me tell you a few things about her. She has always been good about playing by herself. She has lots of focus, and she has always enjoyed looking for the underlying patterns of how things work. She also has a "can-do" spirit and is not afraid of making mistakes. I never did any formal work with her unless she asked until three months ago. She just watched preschool shows, played computer games, and absorbed things from her environment. I believe her temperament has played the biggest role in her learning.
My older daughter however is a bundle of energy. She does 500 hand-stands a day in our living room. When she was in kindergarten, after 15 minutes of formal work she would start to emotionally meltdown; she can only focus on one thing for so long. She knew her letter sounds by age four and wanted to learn how to read...until she discovered that it actually required some effort. She also does not do well with "failure" as she perceives it. We tried 100 Easy Lessons and Bob books, but it was torture for both of us. She just wasn't ready, so I backed off a bit. I kept formal lessons very light, integrated more active approaches, and eventually she took off a few months after she turned six.
But she is still not a big reader of books. She will read magazines and tons of stuff on the internet, but she thinks books are too passive. She also doesn't like very much fiction. (This is all very much like her father.)
I know that with your first one there is a lot of pressure to get them reading. It is the first "proof" that validates homeschooling in a lot of people's minds, including our own. So, again you may need to look at your expectations. The whole point of homeschooling is that you can give your child extra time to learn certain skills if they need it.
Secondly, I would find more active and interactive ways for him to learn. For instance, Starfall has full reading curriculum for free that involves lots of fun games and songs. He might learn better by using the computer. Shows like the Leapfrog videos and SuperWhy are great.
With my pre-K five-year-old we did the Explode the Code "Get Ready" books just to go over phonics sounds again. They are only six dollars a piece.
Now we are using home-made reading worksheets that my older one enjoyed: Each page is divided into six sections with a three-letter word in each section. The child reads the word and draws a picture in the section. They build decoding skills and reading vocabulary. I've got three levels of packets put together on Excel that I would be happy to share if you are interested.
In the end, though, teaching your child to read is a lot like potty-training. It just will not go well if you try to push them too early. When they are ready it will click. And by the time they are 13, no one will know if they were potty-trained at 18 months or 4 years or if they started reading at age 4 or age 9. 
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Barbara
Mom to "spirited" dd(9), "spunky" dd (6), "sincere" dd (3), "sweet" dd (2), and baby girl #5 born 8/1/12!!
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: March 26 2011 at 11:24am | IP Logged
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Well Barbara and Nancy covered developmental things rather well.
I just wanted to give an example of one of my sons. Not with reading. But how sometimes they feel such a need to focus on one area of development that others slide along "behind" until they get to the point where that one becomes important.
At 2.5 yrs my son could say a lot of sounds but he only had a vocabulary of a handful of words. Anyone might have said "he's behind" but he was NOT interested in learning to talk, he was focused very heavily on large motor skills.. he was riding a 2 wheeled scooter (and I do mean riding it.. coasting between pushes etc not just hopping along with the scooter in tow). Within a relatively short time he was satisfied with his skills and he started adding words to his vocabulary quite rapidly. But if I had kept at him to be learning words he would have spent a lot of time fighting me to go and do what he felt a need to do vs what I wanted him to do.. and really would not only have not added words but would also not have had the time to develop the other skills that were his focus.
School is iffy for some boys at that age. They need to move and explore and learn about things by exploring and be "rowdy boys". And spending so much time confined to reading may be frustrating him.
Children that age are rarely "lazy" they simply have a different agenda from the adults around them.
You might want to come over to the discussion on "Boys Should Be Boys" just for fun and because boys are different from girls and it leaves most of us moms a bit mystified
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All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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dolorsofmary
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| Posted: March 26 2011 at 11:59am | IP Logged
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Thank you all for your great suggestions. My son can read 3 little words with the short 'a' sound. He can write his name with a backwards 's'. He is just starting to want to draw and color, mostly things like robots and stuff, not flowers and trees, etc. I guess I am expecting too much but this is my one and only and I guess I will make mistakes like that. My son seems to have the temperament of Barbara C.'s older daughter. If something involves work he doesn't like it. He has tons of energy. I have been trying hard to emphasize reading to him and de-emphasize tv and computer even if it involves learning to read. But your encouragement might change my mind. He likes challenges but when things get tough I hear him say 'I quit!' and i try at times to encourage him to keep on so he can see how his perseverance helped out. I have read the book better late than early and also boys should be boys and a charlotte mason book, I forget the title.
My dh & I feel that our ds might be trying to weasel out of stuff. It seems that ds wants 'carrots' instead of working for the sake of working. We know that he is only 5.5 yrs old but well with an only we have used 'carrots' and 'sticks' quite a bit. we are trying a new love and logic way now that is more based on relationship instead of carrots and sticks.
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Mackfam
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| Posted: March 26 2011 at 12:19pm | IP Logged
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Just jumping in to encourage patience, gentleness and to say that your son WILL learn to read...on his own timeline!
Do NOT feel pressured to purchase Sing, Spell, Read, Write. While a fine program, it is not necessary. Discerning a purchase of this size is one thing, but I really want to caution you (from experience  ) not to make a reactionary purchase...ESPECIALLY a $300 one! I'd like to provide you with some ideas for tools that could be very inexpensive!
The good news is you are already doing the important things -- reading aloud a lot.
The following are just suggestions from what has worked here in our home - please feel free to take them or leave them:
For getting starting and prepping the foundation:
:: Keep reading to him. Don't ask him to sound anything out while you read. If he volunteers to do so - fine - otherwise, just let this be what it is - read aloud time with no pressure.
:: Start where he is. As Barbara pointed out, identifying his current skill level is the best starting place.
:: SHORT lessons - you want his full attention, but only ask for it for a very short time. When I say short...I mean really short at first. I'd start at 5 minutes. When you start getting the first whiff that he might be bored or done (but BEFORE he makes that obvious) --> STOP! Lesson over. Big smile. Done working on that for the day. If he can stretch to 10 min, fine, but keep lessons short with the goal of having his attention for however long he can offer it.
:: Slide in some instruction under the radar.  I think we all universally recommend the Leap Frog DVD's. 
This is what we do for simple instruction at the beginning:
:: I print very simple words onto cardstock with my computer using the CENTURY GOTHIC font. (this font makes the a, j, g and q look normal and match most early reader print.)
:: I make the consonants blue and the vowels red.
:: I highlight any new blends we might be working on (like th, sh) in purple.
:: I print in a large font (64 pt) and them cut them to form little word cards.
:: I recently have found that we really enjoy backing our word cards with magnetic tape (like this...only I found mine at either Walmart or Staples. These come in all widths and sizes with adhesive backing. Just cut to fit). Jenny (Graceandchaos) mentioned doing this with their words on one thread and I loved the idea! So the hat tip goes to her, and it works so well!!!
:: I print several little word cards from the current skill level (whether it's just learning the sounds of the vowels, short vowels and single consonants, sight words, words with blends).
:: I put all the words on one side of our fridge (you could do this on a magnetized dry erase board too.)
:: Each day, I ask my 6 yo to pick out 3 words and move them to the front of the fridge. I identify whether the word is a rule-breaker/sight word (putting it to one side) or a word we can sound out (moving it to the other side).
:: I point to the word, say the word, or sound out the word. My son repeats. We're done.
:: The next day, I ask him to read the 3 words. If he can't, I follow the same process...and we're done.
:: When he can read the 3 words, I ask him to pick out 3 more, and the process repeats.
:: We review the previously learned words.
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If the printer option doesn't work for you, you can certainly hand write with markers on card stock.
Consider printing the entire alphabet out and cutting the letters apart individually. Print several sets. Use a small fishing tackle box (the transparent ones with little dividers) to organize the alphabet. With your pre-printed/pre-made word cards on a table (like cat, sat, hat), allow him to choose the correct letters to *build* his words. Again, no pressure - short lesson, but of course, he can return to this whenever he likes. Eventually, he could be building simple sentences.
The reason I like working with the movable alphabet (whether homemade, printed for purchase, or wooden) is that it doesn't overly stretch a young writer, whose writing skill/ability may not be moving at the same pace as their reading ability once it takes off. PLUS >>>> boys (especially!) really LOVE just the simple act of mechanically manipulating letters with their hands.
**********************************************
Goodness, I hope you feel encouraged to let your little fella just continue enjoying the rich and wonderful learning opportunities you have been generously providing him and let the reading skills develop in their own time. 
Edited to say...cross posting with several of you!
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Jen Mackintosh
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Wildflowers and Marbles
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dolorsofmary
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| Posted: March 26 2011 at 12:33pm | IP Logged
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explode the code book 1
I had my son do page 1 above and he enjoyed it but then when we got to page 2 which requires more work he said 'I'm not going to do it' and ran away.
So should I be discouraged by this? SHould I buy this and push on? Your advice. Everything has to be fun fun fun oh my - unless I do the work of reading to him. He can play quietly for quite sometime alone without tv on. SOmedays are heavy tv days like when I was doing the taxes yesterday but generally I try to have the tv OFF.
Thank you!
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CrunchyMom
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The Explode the Code book you linked comes after the ones that Barbara referenced. "Get Ready for the Code" books A, B, C, and D are much easier. My 4 year old is s.l.o.w.l.y. going through these (I don't make him do schoolwork, but he often wants to if his brother is), and you might try book A just to see if he'd be more open to this as an introduction to Book One.
My oldest tried the first book a few times, and when he would do things like sound out "buh-ah-tuh...lighthouse??" it made us both want to bang our heads against the table. He just wasn't ready, so we put it away, watched Letter Factory and Talking Words Factory a few times a week for a while, and pulled it out again. Eventually, when he was 6 and 3 months or so, he began to get it. He just wasn't ready to blend for a while, and then he was.
If you would like a nice visual of the types of homemade techniques that Jennifer and Barbara reference, Kimberlee has an excellent post on these sorts of strategies.
My boys also really like the FREE readers I See Sam you can print. The Bob books did nothing for them, but they loved these. I'll try to find a link.
Also, there are some free phonics courses online that might help you with word lists and such at Don Potter's educational site.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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CrunchyMom
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dolorsofmary wrote:
explode the code book 1
I had my son do page 1 above and he enjoyed it but then when we got to page 2 which requires more work he said 'I'm not going to do it' and ran away.
So should I be discouraged by this? SHould I buy this and push on? Your advice. Everything has to be fun fun fun oh my - unless I do the work of reading to him. He can play quietly for quite sometime alone without tv on. SOmedays are heavy tv days like when I was doing the taxes yesterday but generally I try to have the tv OFF.
Thank you! |
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Also, it just occurred to me, did you try to have him do page 2 right after he'd just finished page 1?
It takes a lot of concentration and work to do that type of work, and our little boys don't have a lot of that for sit down and write type activities. One trick to all this is stopping BEFORE they are all worn out. It is hard to resist the desire to keep going after a successful page or chapter or whatever, but just limiting yourself to a few minutes and letting him go again after he is successful instead of continuing every lesson to a point where you are both frustrated might help keep things positive for you both.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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CrunchyMom
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I See Sam
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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Barbara C.
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I agree with what the others say about using small chunks and quitting before they hit their breaking point. For instance, I only have my pre-K do two of those reading worksheets. Most days she could probably do three, and sometimes she'll want to do three. But I only make her do two. I only plan for 15 minutes of formal work in kindergarten per day (alternating reading lessons and math).
And some kids are just "carrot/stick" kids. They are not going to see the intrinsic value of what you're trying to teach them until much later, and even then they probably won't admit it to you.
Like somehow else mentioned, sometimes it does come down to a difference in priorities between you and them. My oldest can spend an hour creating an elaborate pretend play that involves writing scripts or magazines or even doing research on Wikipedia about her favorite pop stars. But having to do her math work for 15 minutes per day...be prepared for her pencil to break, her to suddenly be starving, or things that she could do perfectly well the day before to suddenly be impossible and tortuous.
No one likes to do what they don't want to do and can be intimidated by things that seem difficult, but some people naturally handle it with more grace than others. My older daughter does not. Even with the things that she loves...she will tell you that "gymnastics is her life" and hopes to start competing next year but she complains incessantly about the amount of conditioning she's supposed to do because it is not fun and it is hard and her eight-year-old perspective can not understand why it is necessary.
Oh, and flipping letters and numbers is completely normal. It sometimes helps if you have a guide on the wall that you can point at or they can reference when they are unsure. (Mine often look at the clock to remember which direction a number goes.)
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Barbara
Mom to "spirited" dd(9), "spunky" dd (6), "sincere" dd (3), "sweet" dd (2), and baby girl #5 born 8/1/12!!
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Mackfam
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| Posted: March 26 2011 at 2:42pm | IP Logged
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Lindsay,
These are neat! Thanks for linking them!!
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Jen Mackintosh
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Elena
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My reading specialist always says that you need to start with a good eye exam first with an pediatric optometrist to make sure there are no visual problems. Sometimes it's a tracking thing that can be easily corrected with a very mild prescription.
I think 5 is a little young to be worrying about a boy. Dr. Raymond Moore did a lot of writing about waiting until a child was 8 before starting him to read. It's a little like potty training - they're not going to do it until they're ready.
And just as an anecdote - my oldest did not read well until he was 12 years old and after one year of working with a reading specialist. Then suddenly it just clicked for him. In the meantime, because I did not want him to miss out on all the classic books I thought he should read, I got him books on tape, CD and MP3 downloads and he thoroughly enjoyed them.
He is now 21 years old, he works as an EMS-Basic and is working on his paramedic certification and while he is waiting in his ambulance for a call - he reads - constantly!! So don't lose heart!!
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Elena
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Lori
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I agree with the "movable alphabet" idea...I would print out pictures for the "c-v-c" (consonant-vowel-consonant) words and paste them on the top of 3x5 index cards, turned vertically. Then underneath that I would print the word, big and separated enough that you could cover each letter with the magnetic letters we had. I would have my kiddos hunt and peck through the magnet letters and "copy" the word underneath my printing and the picture.
Then I made a second set of cards without my printing the word on it, and just the picture at the top. I would eventually have them "fill in" the letters from memory, with the magnet letters again.
I know I'm late to the party on this post, but thought I'd add another idea to the mix. I have 4 boys, NONE of whom have enjoyed writing/early reading training, but 3 of whom are AVID readers now. Hang in there!
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Lori
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mommy4ever
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My ds was more interested in other things than reading. He went to K, they wanted him to repeat K. He didn't have any interest in reading. We insisted he move forward. Fast Forward grade 1 1st report card - you son isn't reading, but he is building his phonics. Report card 2 - your son isn't reading, but he knows his letter sounds. Parent teacher meeting report card 3 - your son isn't reading, but he has all the puzzle pieces. So I asked, can I do away with the home reading, he memorizes it in class and isn't reading, he just remembers it. The teacher agreed, and we purchased books, small chapter books, that were about things he loved. He was so excited about new 'bed-time' stories. I told him sorry bud, I'm not reading these. He started to cry. I stopped him and told him he would be the one reading. And in less that 2 weeks he WAS. about 6 weeks before he turned 7.
Your guy is probably quietly absorbing it all. He might not want to offer what he knows because he'd rather have all the pieces to the puzzle.
I'll fast forward to where he is now. In June he is 17. He is an honor student, he will have several scholarships available to him, he is also an electrician apprentice :)
So, I think your guy is just fine, at this point I wouldn't be concerned. Whether he reads in K, beginning of grade 1, or end of grade 1, or the summer after grade 1. It all ends up the same. He'll read!
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atara
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I don't know if this will help because my son is still young so...
He never wanted to read really. Finally I just put a wicker basket on the kitchen table with books about trains. He likes trains. I started reading to him while he ate. Now he goes to the basket at any time he wants, I don't tell him to get a book, and reads.
It is really a Montessoriesque approach but I think if the book are around he might just get bored enough to read, HA HA!
I'm also a big believer in having around that he can read EASILY! If reading is frustrating then he's not going to want to read to sound out every word.
It's possible he needs to boost his confidence by reviewing books in levels he can read easily.
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10 Bright Stars
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As a mom of 10 that has taught 5 of my children to read so far, and who is currently working on teaching my 5 year old twins to read, I would say DON'T PUSH! I made that mistake with my eldest. I read to him a lot when he was little and then I started with 100 Easy Lessons when he was........3.5!! He readily picked up the concept and seemed to be going along nicely until one day around Lesson 70 or so, he just abruptly told me he was tired of reading and he was "going on vacation". It was a pretty funny thing for him to say I thought, but he meant it! I could not get him interested in doing his daily lesson again AT ALL. Then, I worried a lot about it since he didn't want to learn to read anymore and he hated to read in general. Had I pushed him too fast? Interestingly, he did not read any better than my other children, all of whom I now wait until around 6 years old or later to teach reading now. (A little phonics etc. earlier, but we do not move into the actual reading part until around 6+ and then I take it very slowly.) In fact, he ended up having reading problems, spelling problems, and a slight dislexia!!! (From us pushing him to walk instead of crawl!!! He never did crawl, which I have done a lot of research on and apparantly it is very important for some reason for the child's development. Little did I know that kids just learn all that stuff on their own!!! (i.e. walking etc.)
So, keep in mind that if this is your only child, OUR enthusiasm for homeschooling and learning and all things school/wanting to get going on it, can sometimes not be their idea of fun. In otherwords we can tend to hyper focus so much on the one child that it is actually not good for them. I am not saying you are doing this, but I know I certainly did. He is a lovely 16 year old now and doing well in school etc., but I would not say that my early pushing necc. put him ahead of any of the other kids. See what I mean?
Enjoy this precious time when he is little. Don't sweat it. You sound like an extremely concerned and loving mom. I remember being simply intoxicated with my first!! I even had a giant sized poster made of him! Looking back, it is pretty funny, but I was very concerned with his "development" too and thought I had to teach him every little thing and do everything correctly or it would "harm" him. If I could do it all over again though, I would just take a chill pill so to speak and enjoy my little man, read fun books to him to build memories, spend A LOT less time researching homeschooling and instead just living day to day with him (or them if you have more young ones) and not worry so much about real school. Soon it WILL matter how much school you do with him..there will be no free days to play or take nature walks. Then, I think back and wish I had just had more relaxed time with him since there IS no escape from school now.
My son gets up at 7 and with the exception of a break of two during the day, isn't finished with his high school work until right before dinner and then he spends time with dad in the evening going over stuff!!! I miss my little nature boy who is all grown up now, and I cannot spend as much time with the new little ones since I have so many! So, my time with him is a precious, precious memory that will often bring me to tears. (An example would be my current mewborn. I compare my experience with my firstborn to my limited time with my new baby and it is night and day. I meet all the new babies needs, but it just isn't the intense experience that it was with my firstborn.)
So, just friendly advice....meter your own excitement and ideas of what should be going on educationaly and keep some perspective. You won't regret it! (This is all meant in a loving way to you, and hopefully not taken in an offensive way. You juse remind me a lot of myself and I figured if I could go back and talk to my younger self, this is what I would tell me. )  Just my two cents.
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Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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10 Bright Stars
Forum All-Star
Joined: Nov 16 2006
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 728
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| Posted: April 14 2011 at 6:45pm | IP Logged
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Sorry for any spelling errors etc. I had the baby on my lap and two kids on either side of me!
__________________
Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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4Real Forums : Language Arts Come Alive
Topic: worried about my 5+ yo falling behind
