4Real Forums: "I don’t know how to say it!"

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Topic: "I don’t know how to say it!"

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Matilda
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Posted: July 29 2007 at 11:51am \| IP Logged

I think the biggest problem my children have to overcome when it comes to writing is the "I don't know how to say it" problem. I hear them say this sometimes when we are just having a conversation. I think they get frustrated when they can't think of how to say what they are thinking.

Here are my questions:

1. Is this normal?

2. What can I do to help them when this happens?

3. What do we need to be doing to help them get over this frustration in general during conversations and when writing?

They are very creative kids who read like crazy and listen to audio books every day. We have not always done a family read aloud, but have done a lot of it starting from the time the were very little.

Any thoughts, hints, similar stories?

Thanks!

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lapazfarm
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Posted: July 29 2007 at 3:55pm \| IP Logged

I think this is very normal. I am not certain of the terms, but I think the problem comes from having a very advanced "receptive" vocabulary, while the "expressive" vocabulary has not quite caught up. This could be a result oF doing so much listening to audiobooks and read alouds. It has built up their receptive vocabulary in a wonderful way! But now the job is to help the expressive vocabulary catch up. This can be done by doing lots of oral narrations, in a casual, but regular way.Just in conversation,ask them about their audiobooks or read-alouds each day. Start simple, but gradually ask for more and more detail. Also, have them read aloud passages from their books, both fiction and non-fiction, and then tell you what it means "in their own words".
Another trick might be when the "I don't know how to say it" problem pops up is to ask "Well, how would (insert favorite author or character here) say it?" Let them put on funny accents and tell the story as if they were a character from their books. They may be amazed at the vocabulary they pop out with without even realizing it!

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Leonie
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Posted: July 29 2007 at 6:48pm \| IP Logged

One thing that has worked here is to try to show my kids that writing is basically "talk that is written down"!

And, boy, my kids can talk!

I have done this by writing down their talk, their narrations of a game or book or movie. Or typing as they talked.

I've said something like "This is too great to miss! Let me write this down while you talk!". Then they see the connection between writing and talking and they can start where they are.

I think the Bravewriter emails call this "Jot It Down. "

Here is the text from the Bravewriter Jot It Down email ~

<<Show your kids that what they say matters.

When they show their expertise, surprise you with insight, make you laugh or teach you about their world, write it down.

As a cherry on top experience, read what you jotted to an interested party (sibling, spouse, grandparent). Let the "writer" overhear your praise.

Jotting it down is a great way to make writing real to your kids.>>>

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Red Cardigan
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Posted: July 29 2007 at 9:17pm \| IP Logged

The variation at my house has always been the "I don't know how to spell it." syndrome. Having a household mostly of girls who have a loquacious mother addicted to pedantic and polysyllabic conversation means that everyone in our house knows how to say things, all too well!

But writing it down was a different story for a long time, especially back when they were too young to use a dictionary unassisted. They got a little too used to either having mom spell everything for them, or getting by with "baby" words (i.e., on a favorite color essay everyone's favorite color was suddenly "red" because it was easiest to spell). It took a while for me to insist that it didn't matter if words were misspelled on the first try, so long as they tried to write more "grown-up" essays etc. We did sometimes have some funny results, especially at first, but eventually they began to be more adventurous writers.

I think a picture dictionary is a great way to start, especially the kind that use the words in simple sentences/phrases which then become familiar and easy to use.

Another thing you might try is a "conversation game" where you start a conversation about a particular topic and ask for input. (This works great in a "tea party" format but your boys might not like that approach!) I was amazed at the telephone activities in the grammar book, and how letting the girls play with an old "real" phone (NOT cordless!) brought out this amazing tendency to use polished phrases and even a businesslike tone of voice (especially from the oldest, who currently will get knocked down a peg by the second oldest anytime the latter thinks the former is using her "grown-up voice").

Maybe some nonverbal communication could help, too--when you get to a "don't know how to say it" moment you could suggest that they draw what it is they're thinking of?

Just some thoughts.

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