| Author | |
Lisa R
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 29 2005
Location: Ohio
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 789
|
| Posted: Feb 19 2007 at 4:15pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
This will be kind of long....sorry.
I have a friend here that I've known for 2 1/2 years. She is non-denominational and a fallen-away Catholic. She has "issues" with the Catholic Church mostly doctrinally she says. Her 19 yo daughter is pregnant and due in 4 weeks. She does not want to keep the baby. When we first learned she was pregnant, I offered to adopt the baby. My friend said she asked her daughter and she said no but never told me why. I dropped it.
Now the family she chose to adopt the baby has backed out. My friend called me over the weekend to ask us to pray that they find another family soon. So I decided to ask why she wouldn't consider us. I guess you know where this is going now....because we are Catholic! 
I cannot tell you how much that hurt me.  I knew she had a problem with The Church but to think she has known me for 2 1/2 years and that my family wouldn't be worthy to raise this child because we are Catholic was too much. She apologized for hurting my feelings and told me not to take it personally. Please tell me how I couldn't take that personally. I AM CATHOLIC. It's WHO I AM! Not just a thing I do on Sunday.
I'm not sure where our friendship should go from here. I can't tell you how many times I have been judged because of my faith since we moved to Washington. No offense to other Washingtonians.  A similar situation happened to me just a few months after we moved here and I ended the relationship before it went any further. I literally have no friends here. She is the only one.
The Catholic homeschool group here is pretty much non-existent and hardly anyone attends anything. Maybe I need to get more involved in it and get things going. How....I have no idea.
How would you handle this situation? Do I need to go through the rest of my life with only Catholic friends? What do I do with this friendship now? Am I over-reacting?
If you've gotten this far, thank you for reading and please pray for me. My heart is very heavy and I'm just so hurt again.
__________________
God Bless!
Lisa, married to my best friend, Ray and loving my blessings Joshua (17)and Jacob(15), Hannah(7) and Rachel (5)!Holy Family Academy
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
kingvozzo
Forum All-Star
Joined: March 28 2005
Location: Maine
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2653
|
| Posted: Feb 19 2007 at 4:23pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Oh, Lisa, I can see why you'd be so hurt by this. I don't blame you at all. I'm surprised that your friend was so very frank  in sharing the reasons they weren't considering your family. I think I would have skirted around the specifics a bit--it is a very personal decision, I think, choosing the parents to adopt your baby.
I don't really have any wisdom for you, but maybe to give your friend some space, with the recognition that she's going through a difficult time herself, about to have her grandbaby placed with a different family.
I will pray for you to have peace and wisdom in dealing with this difficulty!
__________________
Noreen
Wife to Ed
Mom to 4 great kids and 10 sweet ones in Our Lady's arms
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Carole N.
Forum All-Star
Joined: Oct 28 2006
Location: Wales
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4484
|
| Posted: Feb 19 2007 at 4:31pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Lisa, this is such a heartbreaking story! I cannot imagine how sad you must be to hear this from your friend. I understand those feelings of isolation. I really have no advice to offer you, but know that I will pray for you to have peace with this difficult situation. 
__________________
Carole ... in Wales
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
momwats8
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 20 2006
Location: Florida
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1084
|
| Posted: Feb 19 2007 at 5:19pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Lisa- I am praying for all invlolved. This is such a sad story and I am sure you are hurting in a very deep way. I will pray that your friend converts back to the faith!
__________________
Mary- Wife to Mike and Mother to Austin(92), Mikey(95), R.J.(97), Benedict(98), Kolbe(00), Ignatius(02), Christian(03), Margaret(05),&4 angels in heaven
http://www.momwats8.blogspot.com
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
hylabrook1
Forum Moderator
Joined: July 09 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5980
|
| Posted: Feb 19 2007 at 5:53pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Lisa -
I'm so sad and sorry to read this. We have dear Catholic friends who live in Roy. I don't know whether that is near to you, but if you would like contact information, please PM me. Keeping you all in prayer.
Peace,
Nancy
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
stacykay
Forum All-Star
Joined: April 08 2006
Location: Michigan
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1858
|
| Posted: Feb 19 2007 at 6:30pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Lisa,
I am praying for you, but have no advice.  I would be hurt, too.
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Paula in MN
Forum All-Star
Joined: Nov 25 2006
Location: Minnesota
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4064
|
| Posted: Feb 19 2007 at 6:46pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Lisa, I'm praying for all of you.
__________________
Paula
A Catholic Harvest
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Philothea
Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 15 2006
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 824
|
| Posted: Feb 19 2007 at 6:47pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
As a former devoted protestant and anti-Catholic (now Catholic by nothing but the grace of God), I can say I once would have felt the same way as your friend. I am sure it is painful for you but please do try to understand they feel they are protecting the baby from being raised in a faith they believe is in error. Would you adopt your baby out to Buddhists? Even if they were close friends? Most evangelicals see the Catholic faith as just as alien to them as Buddhisim, Hinduism, Mormonism or Voodoo. They're so tragically misinformed, but how can they be faulted for doing what they believe is right in the eyes of God? It is our job to inform them of the truth with love and grace. Focus on the similarities, then carefully broach the differences.
I am so sorry you are hurting. I will pray for the baby and for your relationship with your friends.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JennGM
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 17702
|
| Posted: Feb 19 2007 at 6:57pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I'm so sorry, Lisa. Praying for your peace. I would be so hurt, too. And what's going to happen to this baby? I'd say I would adopt, too, but I'm Catholic!
I don't think you have to close your heart to non-Catholic friends. Your friend must be drawn somehow to the way you live your Faith if she is your friend. She's not staunchly anti-Catholic. You live your Faith, not ashamed of it, and she's still friends with you. That's probably why this hurts most...it seemed like there wasn't a closed door mentality to your Faith, just her own personal issues. This probably doesn't make any sense, sorry!
__________________
Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
nissag
Forum All-Star
Joined: Nov 23 2006
Location: Massachusetts
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1511
|
| Posted: Feb 19 2007 at 7:45pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Lisa, How hurtful! I think Jenn has offered you a very wise bit of advice. I agree.
My very best friend is a fallen-away Catholic and is very (or has been very)anti-Catholic. We had a terrible falling out a couple of years ago. She moved away and we kept checking up on each other. When it was time to heal the wound, God put us back together. 20 years of friendship would have been lost if I wasn't open to non-Catholic friends. 20 years of friendship ruined if I wasn't open to being hurt for the sake of love.
I do feel that my strong faith has witnessed to her - her faith was never solidly anywhere, in a practical sense. Perhaps one day she'll return to the Church, perhaps she will get further away. But I think she is certainly coming to see what Catholicism really is through our friendship.
Praying for you both, Lisa!
__________________
Nissa
Deacon's wife, mother of eleven, farmer, teacher, creator, cook.
At Home With the Gadbois Family
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
KellyJ
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 29 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 598
|
| Posted: Feb 19 2007 at 9:01pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Oh, Lisa, I'm so sad for you.
Please keep praying for this baby that he or she may be placed in a good, loving, holy home, even if it is not yours. Place all of your intentions relating to your friendship, the pregnant daughter, and the baby at the feet our Blessed Lady at the foot of the Cross. May Holy Mary intercede for you and be your refuge.
__________________
KellyJ
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
guitarnan
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Maryland
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 10883
|
| Posted: Feb 19 2007 at 9:01pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Oh dear. How very sad. I'm so sorry you were hurt by this situation. I'll indeed pray for everyone.
__________________
Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Lisa R
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 29 2005
Location: Ohio
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 789
|
| Posted: Feb 20 2007 at 4:32pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Thank you all for your prayers. I definitely feel them and it helps so much.
Still have no idea how I'm going to handle this situation, however. I feel very conflicted about whether to continue the friendship or not. I'm praying for God to give me a very clear direction.
The "white elephant" that apparently was always in the room just grew quite a bit!
__________________
God Bless!
Lisa, married to my best friend, Ray and loving my blessings Joshua (17)and Jacob(15), Hannah(7) and Rachel (5)!Holy Family Academy
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Ruth
Forum All-Star
Joined: Nov 04 2006
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5007
|
| Posted: Feb 20 2007 at 5:57pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
No advice here, but lots of prayers coming your way.
God bless.
__________________
Ruth
mom to 7 miracles
My family blog
Loreto Rosaries
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Jane Ramsey
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 05 2007
Location: Florida
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 652
|
| Posted: Feb 20 2007 at 6:30pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Lisa,
Praying for you and your friend. I would try to continue the friendship, and consider it ignorance on her part, not as an intention to hurt you.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Theresa
Forum All-Star
Joined: Dec 27 2006
Location: Minnesota
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1042
|
| Posted: Feb 20 2007 at 8:12pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Lisa, I am sorry that you are feeling very hurt. Please know that I will pray for the friendship and for grace, love and wisdom as you seek the Lords direction.
__________________
Theresa
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
cathhomeschool
Board Moderator
Texas Bluebonnets
Joined: Jan 26 2005
Location: Texas
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 7303
|
| Posted: Feb 20 2007 at 8:28pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I'm so sorry that you were hurt. I have no advice, just lots of prayers for all of you.
__________________
Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Rebecca
Forum All-Star
Joined: Dec 30 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1898
|
| Posted: Feb 20 2007 at 8:35pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I am sorry, Lisa. I will be praying.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Wendy
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 14 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 530
|
| Posted: Feb 21 2007 at 8:13am | IP Logged
|
|
|
No advice, just lots of prayers. I would be hurt, too.
__________________
God bless,
Wendy
Wife to Chris
Momma to Grace, Sam, Ben, Maggie, Mary Cate, and Jamie
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Lisa R
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 29 2005
Location: Ohio
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 789
|
| Posted: March 04 2007 at 11:15pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I talked to this friend on the phone tonight. She basically says it wasn't anything against me just the Catholic Church and that she has many issues concerning the Church. She wouldn't feel comfortable having her grandchild raised under our belief system. She can separate how I practice from me as a person, that she loves me and would be very sad to lose our friendship.
I am very conflicted about what to do now. Like I said in the first post, I am Catholic. It permiates every part of my life. I have a hard time separating the two. Is it just me? Am I being too uptight?
Any advice would be so appreciated. I just don't know where to go from here.
__________________
God Bless!
Lisa, married to my best friend, Ray and loving my blessings Joshua (17)and Jacob(15), Hannah(7) and Rachel (5)!Holy Family Academy
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
4Real Forums : We Pray to the Lord
Topic: Need Godly advice and prayers
