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Mrs. B Forum Rookie
Joined: Aug 03 2010
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Posted: Jan 03 2014 at 10:51pm | IP Logged
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Post partum depression has derailed me again a year after the birth of my twins. I'm really struggling to get anything done or care about anything. I find I just can't find any kind of liking for the homeschool life despite have a firm conviction to homeschool. I am really struggling to find anything positive about life right now. Please say a few prayers for me... I have no idea what a mother is supposed to do after so many years of being commited to homseschooling, I find I really hate/dislike being with the kids and can't stand to teach anything. I think I must be crazy. I have never felt this amount of loathing before?!
Oh, I could keep venting but I'd rather not and just ask for some prayers for a change of heart. I am praying but it feels very dry.
__________________ ~ * mama to a houseful~ *
dd-10, ds-8, dd-5, ds-2
and a bunch of rabbits, a pack of dogs, a clowder of cats, and some fish.
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Erica Sanchez Forum All-Star
Joined: March 05 2005 Location: California
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Posted: Jan 04 2014 at 12:40am | IP Logged
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Praying, Mrs. B!
__________________ Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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MaryM Board Moderator
Joined: Feb 11 2005 Location: Colorado
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Posted: Jan 04 2014 at 12:54am | IP Logged
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Praying for you - for change of heart as you mention and healing too, for the physical part of post partum depression. Have you been doing anything to help address that part of the depression? I know there are ladies here with personal experience and possible helps.
__________________ Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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mariB Forum All-Star
Joined: Dec 20 2006 Location: Vermont
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Posted: Jan 04 2014 at 5:39am | IP Logged
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Praying for you...was depressed years ago when my oldest 3 were babies. Since your children are young...maybe just taking time to play, to watch movies, and to read stories and to listen to stories on tape would be enough. Maybe reading about unschooling? I have found over the years that I feel overwhelmed if I start to feel I have to school like traditional schools.
Reflecting back, I wish that I would have told my doctor how I felt so that I could have gotten some help. I sort of muddled through on my own. Hormones can do so much to flip your emotions all over the place.
Again, praying for all of your intentions!
Hugs...
__________________ marib-Mother to 22ds,21ds,18ds,15dd,11dd and wife to an amazing man for 23 years
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Servant2theKing Forum All-Star
Joined: Nov 13 2005
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Posted: Jan 04 2014 at 7:08am | IP Logged
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Praying for you here Mrs. B. Please, please consider talking with your OB/gyn or midwife. It's important that postpartum depression be cared for and treated, for your own sake and also for the sake of your family. You're not alone in what you are experiencing. There are people who care and want to help, but you need to reach out and honestly share what you've been going through. I will be praying for you in a special way.
__________________ All for Christ, our Saviour and King, servant
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mom2mpr Forum All-Star
Joined: May 16 2006 Location: N/A
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Posted: Jan 04 2014 at 7:26am | IP Logged
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Many prayers for you. I suffered many years ago(13) and my physician, patient man he was, every time he would see me, would gently suggest I try some meds. I refused until I could not stand myself any more. Within 2 weeks I felt so much better! I hugged him and thanked him profusely next time I was in the office.
I only took them for about 6 months. I have never gone back on them. He explained it as a chemical issue in the brain and that I probably needed a "kickstart."
Just letting you know my experience so you can be open to it if it is recommended. I was so stubborn and in a way wish I was open to it earlier.
Do some fun school to get through. Field trips. Sign kids up for some classes and just try to find some down time for you, I lived for the one hour my ds was in gymnastics, he was happy and getting tired out. I would just sit in the lobby, watch, nurse dd, and veg out. I also used the library staff/classes, and nearby childrens museum. It was our "unschooling" stint until I got myself together
Hang in there, find a little relief(you sound burnt out actually ), and know you are covered in prayer!
__________________ Anne, married to dh 16 years!, ds,(97), Little One (02), and dd (02).
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guitarnan Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005 Location: Maryland
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Posted: Jan 04 2014 at 7:40am | IP Logged
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Praying for you, Mrs. B!
__________________ Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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SeaStar Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 16 2006
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Posted: Jan 04 2014 at 8:06am | IP Logged
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Adding prayers here
__________________ Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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stefoodie Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 17 2005 Location: Ohio
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Posted: Jan 04 2014 at 9:21am | IP Logged
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Praying!
__________________ stef
mom to five
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Pilgrim Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 28 2007 Location: Wisconsin
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Posted: Jan 04 2014 at 11:29am | IP Logged
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Twins take a LOT out a Mama, especially if you're nursing! After our twins I felt the same spiritual dryness, for a while it felt like I was SO, SO distracted and why bother praying, though I wanted to feel it in my heart I.just.didn't. I hope you can find what will give you the needed kickstart to get back to feeling a little more alive. Again, twins take so much out of you, and the hormone are different than with a singleton, etc.. Are you taking enough vitamins and eating well and drinking enough fluids? Those can make a big difference, as can this time of year, my Dr. told me it's the prime time of year for vitamin deficiencies to rear their head and cause symptoms like you're experiencing. I found like mentioned by others that the time of the first couple of years after the twins we needed to do more unschooling, and allow ourselves just to learn to live again in a new way, being okay with less schooling, and more family time, etc. Will pray for you!
__________________ Wife 2 my bf, g14,b8,g&b6,g4,g3,g1 1/2,4 ^i^
St. Clare Heirloom Seeds coupon 4Real 20% off
St. Clare Audio
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Booksnbabes Forum All-Star
Joined: July 20 2008 Location: N/A
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Posted: Jan 04 2014 at 12:02pm | IP Logged
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Praying in empathy.
__________________ Wife to wonderful DH, mom to SIX beautiful gifts from God!
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JodieLyn Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 06 2006 Location: Oregon
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Posted: Jan 04 2014 at 12:19pm | IP Logged
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Yes you should still be taking a high quality pre-natal type of vitamin, especially magnesium, B-complex and D.
__________________ Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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LLMom Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 19 2005
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Posted: Jan 09 2014 at 7:14am | IP Logged
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Praying for you. Depression is a hard place to be especially when homeschooling. You might check out a few of these posts. I have way too much experience with depression.
Depression and the homeschool mom
depression
Getting a handle on homeschool burnout
Homeschool burnout
__________________ Lisa
For veteran & former homeschool moms
homeschooling ideas
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Maggie Forum All-Star
Joined: Dec 01 2007 Location: N/A
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Posted: Jan 09 2014 at 4:43pm | IP Logged
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Having been a veteran of PPD 4 times now...I would strongly encourage you to contact the Pope Paul VI Institute. They can treat you over the phone! No going to doctors office visits--which was crucial for me at the time--I could barely shower let alone get out of the house.
Dr. Hilgers has a strong belief in treating PPD with progesterone...bio-identical, not synthetic. He also has other ideas up his sleeve...but I really like their approach. They are gentle...and faithful to the Magisterium...so they won't prescribe or do anything that could potentially jeopardize a future little one...or nursing children.
Their number is 6901 Mercy Rd #130, Omaha, NE 68106
(402) 390-6600
I will pray for you. Please pray for me.
__________________ Wife to dh (12 years) Mama to dd (10) ds (8), dd (1), ds (nb) and to Philip Mary (5/26/09), Lucy Joy (12/6/09), and Margaret Mary (3/6/10) who entered Heaven before we had a chance to hold them.
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3ringcircus Forum Pro
Joined: Dec 15 2011
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Posted: Jan 09 2014 at 9:27pm | IP Logged
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I will be praying.
__________________ Christine
Mom to my circus of boys: G-1/06, D-1/04, S-4/10
Started HS in Fall'12
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Mrs. B Forum Rookie
Joined: Aug 03 2010
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Posted: Jan 30 2014 at 6:55pm | IP Logged
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Well, I've had a lot of ups and downs the last few weeks. I've tried calling Dr Hilgers clinic and they said to email and when I emailed they told me to call! so I'm going to try again.
Thanks for the links. I actually saw these some time ago and read your blog through a month ago. I do take vitamins and try to care for myself...I'm not doing "nothing" about it.
You are very kind to reply to me. Thank you so much.
__________________ ~ * mama to a houseful~ *
dd-10, ds-8, dd-5, ds-2
and a bunch of rabbits, a pack of dogs, a clowder of cats, and some fish.
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Booksnbabes Forum All-Star
Joined: July 20 2008 Location: N/A
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Posted: Jan 31 2014 at 9:21am | IP Logged
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Keeping you in prayer. May you receive the help you need soon.
__________________ Wife to wonderful DH, mom to SIX beautiful gifts from God!
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